Promise Me Forever

by Janelle Taylor

  The visitor sank to the sofa as if weary. “I’m sorry you feel that way, girl, because you’re wrong. Your mother has cried every week since you left home and got into so much trouble. How can you be so cruel to her? Come visit her, Rachel. I swear, I won’t hug you or peck your check, or even touch your arm while passing in the hall. You have my word of honor.”

  Rachel remained standing near the entrance to the room, her body rigid and her cheeks flushed with strong emotion. “You have no honor! You tricked Mama into marriage with pretty lies and devious charms. You weren’t rich. You only had enough money to pay off our taxes and debts.”

  “I never claimed to be rich, girl. If you hate me because I wasn’t, that isn’t my fault. I did save the plantation for you and your family.”

  “Saved it for us? That’s a joke!” She stared at the reason she had been driven from her home and why her last thirty-one months had been like a sojourn in Hades. No matter how much Earl tried to mask the aura of evil, danger, and lechery around him, she saw and felt it. He could be charming and could fool others easily, but not her. His faded hazel eyes were cloaked in concealment now, but she had seen that gaze filled with a wild and intimidating glint. “I’m supposed to believe you randomly chose a beautiful widow with a prosperous plantation in trouble to invest your life savings in,” Rachel fumed, “but fell in love with her immediately and married her two months later. You came to our home with a plot to bewitch and entrap Mama, and you’ll never convince me any differently. You’re a greedy and deceitful carpetbagger! You came to get rich off White Cloud and to take advantage of our troubles. You practically imprisoned me and Mama on the plantation while you played the wealthy and respected planter in town with your Yankee friends. You’re the reason my brother Randall is dead, and the cause for Richard and Rosemary leaving home. If Papa and Robert were alive, they’d kill you for what you’ve done to us.”

  Earl exhaled loudly as if frustrated. “The war is over, girl; there isn’t any North and South anymore, only the Union, the United States. Throw away your hated and bitterness or it will destroy you. Your mother loves me, and I love her.”

  “Love? You don’t know what love is.”

  Without raising his voice, Earl countered, “And you do? Did you love William Barlow or Craig Newman or Phillip McCandless when you married them? Or even by the time you buried them? No, you only wanted riches and a means of escape. You can’t find happiness that way, girl. Come home for a visit, get your head cleared, and let me prove you’re mistaken about me. You can leave any time you want and return home.”

  “You can’t dupe me, you evil snake. One day Mama will see the ugly truth about you. Then your hold on her will be broken. And that day can’t come soon enough to please me.”

  Earl stood and came toward her. He halted his approach when she took a few steps backward as if to flee the room. “She isn’t my captive, girl. If she didn’t love me and trust me, she could end our marriage.”

  Rachel sent forth cold laughter. “Mama would never create such a scandal, and you know it. She’d endure her predicament to the end before humiliating herself and staining the family name by allowing anyone to learn what a fool she’d made of herself by marrying you.”

  “The only scandals our families have known and suffered are because of your mistakes, Rachel. Don’t make any more. Get your life changed and your mind unclouded.”

  The only black cloud I see is in your eyes! Rachel thought. “With your help?” she sneered sarcastically.

  “I’ll do whatever I can to repair the damage you’ve done to yourself. Maybe you can’t be blamed for being confused back then, not after what the war did to your family and home. You’ve had plenty of time and numerous opportunities to experience life to know my actions were innocent, only affectionate.”

  “Are you mad? What I’ve done to myself! I’m not guilty of any of those accusations. If I were, I’d be in prison or hanged. Or if I were capable of murdering someone, you would be my first and only victim.”

  “How can you despise me so much, Rachel? It’s eating you alive. Your hatred keeps forcing you to make bad decisions. Can you get out of trouble a third—no, a fourth—time? You can’t keep on like this and survive, girl.”

  She attempted to trick him into making a slip. “Why, because you’ll kill me next time instead of murdering my husband to force me back home into your evil clutches? Or you’ll make certain there is convincing evidence left behind to insinuate I’m to blame, so I’ll be jailed?”

  “Rachel Anne Fleming!” Earl cried, “Do you hear what you’re ranting? Have you lost your mind for certain, girl? There are good doctors up North who can help you with your illness. Let me hire one of them to—”

  “You bastard! I’m not insane, or evil, or cursed, or duped, Earl Starger! You’re the one who needs his head doctored and cured. They have ugly names for men with your vile weakness and wicked behavior.”

  Earl shook his head. “If I didn’t know how illminded and scared you are, I would be angry; and I wouldn’t offer to help you. But I know you’re sick and need help; so does your mother.”

  “I don’t want or need any help from you. I would rather die than to lower myself that much.”

  “If you don’t get your life changed, the authorities will take care of that ridiculous threat for you.”

  “Another veiled threat, my despicable stepfather?”

  “I haven’t threatened you today, or any other day, girl. You take every word I say and twist it. You’re determined to paint me black with evil. What can I say or do to prove it isn’t true?”

  You act as if you’re playing to an ignorant audience, not to someone who knows you and can’t be fooled by your evil talents! Rachel fumed silently. “You’ve harassed me for years, ever since we met.”

  “How can love and concern be harassments?”

  “Don’t try to confuse me with your words, you beast,” she scolded in a frosty tone. “We have nothing to say to each other, and we never will. Get out of my home and off of my property. Don’t ever come back.”

  “What shall I tell your mother?”

  “She knows where I live, if she cares about me and wants to see me.”

  “She can’t travel, Rachel. She’s been ill, very ill. I think she’s heartsick over you and the other children deserting her and ignoring her.”

  Worry and alarm flooded Rachel. “Has she seen a doctor?” she asked. “How bad is it? Or is this another clever and cruel trick to fool me? To entice me home?”

  “I took Catherine to see a doctor in Waynesboro on the twenty-sixth of last month and again last Thursday. He examined her and gave her two tonics. If she’s not better by the sixth of May, I’m to take her to him again. I think seeing you would improve her health. That’s why I risked your wrath and hatred today. If you refuse to come visit her, at least write her a letter.”

  “So you can steal it, read it, and hopefully learn all my secrets?”

  “Rachel, Rachel, don’t be so heartless and foolish. Even if what you claim was true, how could I endanger you with your mother and servants present? Bring along your own servants for the protection you think you need from me. Hellfire, carry a gun in your pocket if it makes you feel safer! I’m only concerned with your mother’s health.”

  Rachel didn’t believe him or trust him, but she sensed something serious was afoot. “I’ll think about both of your requests. Now, leave,” she ordered him. She had to write, had to learn if Earl was away with her mother on those two dates. If it was the truth, Earl was out of the picture as a villain. If not…

  “All right, girl, if that’s the way you want it.”

  “It is, for now. Good-bye, Earl,” she stated in a stern tone.

  “Good-bye, Rachel; I hope you come to your senses soon.”

  As he reached the door, Rachel said, “Oh, yes, and you can stop sending me those crazy notes, stop following me, stop searching my room wherever I go, and stop shooting at me. Your threats and attacks don�
��t frighten me.”

  Earl stared at her as if bewildered, then exhaled and shook his head in pity and frustration. “If anyone is harassing you, Rachel, it isn’t me. Hire a detective to watch me so you can get that wild idea out of your head. They’re only delusions, girl, imaginings of an ill mind. Get help before it’s too late. But if they did happen, you best hire someone fast to protect you.”

  She had hoped to catch Earl by surprise and evoke a slip, but it hadn’t worked. In fact, he looked sympathetic, as if he really thought she was mad.

  Lula Mae knocked at Rachel’s bedroom door once again. “More cumpny, Miss Rachel,” the housekeeper announced to her agitated mistress. “That sea captain.”

  The young widow’s chilly gaze met Lula Mae’s worried one. She surprised the woman by ordering in a whisper that couldn’t be overheard downstairs, “Don’t serve any refreshments this time, either, Lula Mae, because he won’t be staying long. I’ll get rid of him as fast as possible, this time for good, I hope. I wish he didn’t have to remain in port so long until his orders arrive from Athens and Augusta. He’s becoming too friendly, and I don’t like it. I’m tired of men trying to charm me and use me. I won’t be sweet and polite today, so maybe he’ll stop calling on me.”

  “Yessum, Miss Rachel; I’ll do that for you.”

  She checked her appearance again in the mirror. Her cheeks were still a mite flushed from her quarrel with her stepfather, but her lingering anger should help her through this necessary episode.

  The unsuspecting man stood and smiled, but Rachel frowned. His gaze altered to one of confusion. “I wanted to send you a message, Captain Slade, but things have been too hectic today,” she said in a formal manner. “I wanted to suggest you don’t come to visit this afternoon, or ever again. I’ve given our relationship a great deal of study and concluded it won’t work. It isn’t wise for us to see each other again.”

  Dan was shocked and baffled. She looked and sounded so cold, not frightened or angry. He probed for a reason. “Our relationship has gotten too close and deep for mistrust. Is this withdrawal from me because you’re scared of your deep emotions for me?” he surmised.

  “I like you as a friend, Dan, and I enjoyed making love with you, but you’ve become too serious and demanding too fast to suit me. I’ve recently buried my husband, so I’m not ready for love and marriage again.”

  “What?” he murmured in disbelief.

  Rachel had practiced this difficult scene many times inside her head, so she seemed to play it now by rote. “I appreciate what you did for me with the authorities, but that’s all settled now. I must continue with my life and settle pressing business matters. I can’t be distracted by a futile relationship with you. Please don’t be angry and spiteful by going to the police and telling them you lied. That would get you into deep trouble with the law and place me in a terrible position. I would be forced to claim you tried to seduce me and, when that didn’t work, you became vindictive and want to get me into trouble now by changing your story. You did sign a sworn statement,” she reminded in a sweet voice. “Let’s part as friends, all right?”

  Dan shook his head as if to awaken himself from a bad dream. “What in stars are you talking about, woman?”

  Rachel faked her most innocent look and tone. “I’m trying to reject you with kindness. I don’t love you or want you, Captain Slade. I’m sorry if I gave you that false impression while I was under such pressure. I’ll admit I was wrong to surrender to you and wrong to let you believe we had a future together. It happened because I was too distraught and grieved to think clearly. We had fun together. We liked each other. We spent a passionate night together. But that’s all. And just to clear your conscience, I didn’t kill Phillip or any of my other husbands, so I wasn’t using you as a needed witness. However, you did provide me with one when things looked bleak that day, so I’m grateful. As you’ll recall, I did not ask you to lie or to help me. That was your idea.”

  “What’s happened, Rachel? This is crazy, wrong, a damn lie!”

  “No, Captain Slade, it isn’t; and I’m sorry if I hurt you. All I can say in my defense is that you caught me at a weak moment and I behaved foolishly. Please don’t call on me again. It was brief and fiery, but it’s over.”

  Tormented and bewildered, Dan accused, “Why, so you can find a richer and more respected man as victim number four?”

  Although he was a cruel traitor, it cut her heart to chide, “Don’t behave like a boy who’s lost his first love. I don’t intend to have a number four. As I told you, my luck with husbands isn’t good.”

  “You don’t need another rich husband because you found that advance?”

  Rachel frowned and exhaled loudly to expose her annoyance. “No, Dan, I haven’t. In fact, I won’t inherit very much from Phillip at all. That isn’t the point. Men are trouble for me. I don’t plan to have another one in my life, except for maybe a brief night of passion.”

  Dan stared into her muted gaze, but today he lacked the power to penetrate it. “This isn’t my Rachel McCandless talking.”

  “I warned you several times that you didn’t know the real me.”

  “If this is a taste of the real you, then you’re right.”

  “Please, Dan,” she urged in a guileful tone, “don’t make me hurt you. End this with dignity and pride. You had what no other man has had from me; can’t you be satisfied with that knowledge and gift?”

  “No, Rachel, I can’t. I love you and I want you. Damn it,” he pleaded, “you love me and want me, too! Why are you doing this to us?”

  Rachel presumed he was only cajoling to preserve his cruel ruse. “What I’m doing is trying to keep you from falling any deeper into this futile pit you’ve dug for yourself. I like you and enjoyed you, but that’s all; I swear it. Please let me help you out of it with kindness.”

  Dan knew something terrible was wrong, but he couldn’t surmise what it was. It wouldn’t do to press her today; she looked firmly resolved to end their love affair. Yet he perceived love, anguish, and deceit in her. He had to find out whatever had inspired those emotions before he pressed her for more answers, for the whole truth. “All right, Rachel, I’ll back off for now. But I’m warning you, I won’t give up on us until you prove I’m wrong. When you come to your senses and get rid of these doubts and fears, you know where to find me until May twenty-fourth. If you haven’t cleared your head and gotten courage by then, I’ll be gone, and so will your first chance at real love and happiness. If you need me for anything, I’ll be available.”

  Rachel could not conceal her astonishment at his words and behavior. It was a struggle to regain her poise and wits. “Thank you, Dan.”

  “Thank you, Dan?” he echoed, his tone and gaze sad. “That’s all you have to say after what’s happened between us?”

  “You won’t believe this, but I truly wish it could be different.”

  For the first time, Dan felt she was being honest with him. For the first time since she’d entered the room, her eyes were like liquid honey, not like a frozen grayish olive green. “So do I, Rachel, so do I.” Without another word or a farewell, he left the room, mounted, and galloped away.

  Rachel watched his hasty departure from the parlor window. Her heart ached. Her body was exhausted. Her love for him raged at her spiteful conduct, but her mind congratulated her for her convincing act.

  I love you, Daniel Slade. Why couldn’t you have been different from the others? If you weren’t a fraud, I would have given myself fully and forever to you.

  “Is he gawn?” the housekeeper asked from behind her.

  Rachel sighed heavily, “Yes, Lula Mae, and for good.”

  “Why be so sad, Miss Rachel?”

  “It was harder than I imagined, my friend. He is in love with me.”

  “Does that makes you weak and sorry?”

  “Sorry for him, yes; but weaken toward him, no. I did what I know is best for me. That’s what I have to think about these days—me and my two best
friends, you and Burke. You are my family. I don’t need others.”

  “Do you want something special to make you feels better?”

  “A long and hot bath, a glass of sherry, and a delicious supper,” she responded with gaiety she didn’t feel. She needed to clear her head before writing to her mother tonight.

  “That’s my Miss Rachel, stronger than any man.”

  God help me if I made a terrible mistake today, Rachel fretted after the housekeeper left to take care of her requests.

  “She did what?” Luke Conner asked. “Did I hear right?”

  “You did, my friend. Now, what we have to find out is why.”

  “You honestly believe she loves you?”

  “Without a doubt, Luke, without a doubt.”

  “Then why did she do this?”

  “That’s what I intend to learn.”

  “You know I’ll help any way I can. But what if you’ve been wrong about her all along? What if she is a Black Widow? What if she was only using you as a witness? And what if she has located the money?”

  Dan was confident as he said, “There’s no way she was pretending in those areas, Luke. What we have to do is trace her steps for the last few days since I saw her. Somewhere along that path is the clue to why she changed and what’s troubling her.”

  “You don’t think she found something that revealed your identity and she assumes you’re betraying her?”

  “I don’t think that’s the problem. Phillip packed up all his memories and left them in that trunk in Charleston with our family lawyer. I have it stored on the ship. I doubt my brother brought anything along on his move. Phillip remembered how many scrapes I got him out of years ago. He always believed I was the stronger, smarter, and braver of us two. He hoped I was still alive somewhere, would get his cry for help, and would show up by some miracle to get him out of his bind. That’s why he left that letter with our family lawyer; that’s why he hired a private detective to search for me. It must have cost him plenty, but he didn’t give up. I can’t give up, either. I have to save Rachel; that’s what he really wanted from me. He knew he was too far gone for rescue, but he loved her enough to want me to save her from harm. Somehow he got entangled in gambling and saw this illegal deal as his way out, but he panicked when he realized what it could cost him. By then it was too late; he’d probably lost the advance staking himself to one last big score.”