Run This Town 04 - (Watch Me) Save You

by Avril Ashton

  “Wow. Wow. That’s messed up.”

  Tek smiled. That it was. “At sixteen I used money I’d stashed away to buy my first pair of heels and two tubes of cheap red lipstick from the drugstore. My dad found them.”

  Quinn tensed next to him. “That couldn’t have been good.”

  “It wasn’t. We argued, he beat me unconscious, and when I finally woke up he’d burned everything I owned in the backyard. A nice ash heap. It was then that I realized those people didn’t love me, they didn’t care about me. It was then that I realized how cruel my father truly was.”

  Quinn made a muffled sound and Tek glanced over. He had a hand over his mouth, eyes bulging in horrified disgust. “What the hell was your mother doing while all this was going on?”

  Tek shrugged. “She sent me away to live with my uncle in Brooklyn. Guess that was her way of protecting me?”

  Quinn held him, twisted their fingers around each other.

  “I was sixteen,” Tek whispered. “Sixteen and I’d already seen how life worked, taught to me by my parents. My father tried to get me back, but he and my uncle went to battle. I lived with my uncle, helped him in his butcher shop until I was eighteen. Then I moved out, got my own place.”

  “Did he know?’ Quinn asked. “About you?”

  “He did.” Tek nodded. “My father was only too happy to share that with him, but Uncle Keyo didn’t turn me away. He didn’t ask about it and I didn’t show him that side of me. I’d learned my lesson. I was determined to not do anything to make my uncle stop loving me.”

  “Jesus.” Quinn leaned into him, snuggling close, hugging Tek across his middle. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I was good,” Tek murmured against Quinn’s temple. “I was a good boy… until I wasn’t.”

  “What happened?”

  “I couldn’t hide.” Tek gulped. “I couldn’t stop it, that need. I had as much heels and dresses in my closets as male clothes, and I’d dress in them in the privacy of my studio apartment, but I got bolder. I went outside like that, just to the corner store.” He remembered that rush. The fear of being caught mixed with the adrenaline of finally being outside in the open. “Nothing happened, no one knew it was me so I did it again and again. Got bolder, more daring.”

  Quinn’s arms tightened around him as if he knew what Tek was about to say.

  “My father found out. Turned out he’d had people watching me. One of those men tried to take…” He held his breath. Let it out. “He tried to force himself on me. I still don’t know for sure if he acted on his own or if he took orders straight from my father. Either way, I fought back.”

  Quinn squeezed his hand, but didn’t speak. Good thing, Tek wasn’t sure he could have continued if Quinn did.

  “I stabbed him with a knife Uncle Keyo had given me for my birthday. Twice in the heart.” He’d known before Barry collapsed face-first that he’d taken the man’s life. “I looked at him on the ground and you know what? I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t regret it. He wanted to hurt me. I protected myself. I didn’t try to hide that fact when the cops came around. They burst in and found me… Not Tek.”

  He glanced at Quinn. “I was all dressed up, you know. I had my own place. I thought I could be free. They came bursting in, they found me in a dress and wig and shit. They didn’t believe that he’d tried to hurt me. I got charged. Went to Rikers. I was eighteen.” He sniffed. “My parents never showed up. Uncle Keyo did once, and I told him not to return. While I waited to be tried for second degree murder, I was ambushed in the bathroom. Because you know, if you’re halfway bent in there obviously you’re just asking to be gang raped.”

  Quinn cried out. His body trembled. “Oh, my God.”

  “I fought back the first few times, but eventually, I learned if you relaxed and pretended to enjoy the act, it didn’t last as long, or didn’t result in a trip to the infirmary to get stitched up. Shit, if you also gave the guards a BJ or two, they’d even help your rapists out with keeping an eye out and providing oil for lube. You know, to ease up on those infirmary visits.” Nausea burned the back of his throat.

  Quinn made a sound as if he might be sick.

  “So yeah, I serviced a heck of a lot of men in there, and then the Warden called me into his office. It seemed he’d heard about my… activities and wanted his turn. I said no. He tried to take it anyway. I stabbed him with his pen. He put a hit out on me.” Funny how those words came out of his mouth so easily now. The horror didn’t lessen, the shame in his gut didn’t go away, but yep, the words came out easier.

  “Jesus, Tek. I can’t even…”

  “Believe it? Imagine it?” Tek laughed. “You and me both. The thing is I would have died, yes, because one of me couldn’t handle ten inmates intent on fucking me then gutting me. Then a new guy stood up for me, went to bat for me. He protected me when I definitely didn’t want it, but damn sure needed it. I got transferred to a new cell block. Had Israel as my cellmate. A deliberate move since the Warden knew how Jamaicans feel about anything remotely homosexual.”

  Quinn inhaled sharply.

  “Israel was not happy about it, but he wasn’t cruel either. He just let me know flatly what he thought about people like me. And I respected that, you know. He left me alone, and I stayed to myself. Until I was accosted outside in the yard and my protector came forward and claimed me in front of everyone.”

  “Claimed you. What does that mean?”

  “He told everyone I was his. That I had his protection, that I was his old lady, his bitch.”

  “What the fuck?” Quinn’s anger creased his face and sparkled in his eyes. Such a fucking gorgeous man. “That’s fucked up.”

  “No. That’s prison. He made it known that I was off limits and that if anyone so much as looked at me, he’d be going to war. For me. Over me. He was a stranger and I didn’t even know his name, but he was protecting me.”

  Quinn held his tongue, but the anger stayed on his face.

  “He took me under his wing. Told everyone we were together, but it was platonic. Others didn’t know that. They left me alone. He had that look about him. He was not to be fucked with. People listened. And when he asked Israel for help in protecting me, Is did it. But one day they came for us in the showers, wanted us to prove it. They wanted a show, wanted to watch us. And as the man—” He used air quotes— “in the relationship, he had to issue the order. My job was to obey. It was that or be attacked. He gave the order. I went to my knees.”

  Quinn’s gaze turned intense. Tek didn’t look away as he told his story.

  “We got away with it. And from there it was easier to slide into the role. He was my daddy, I was his girl. I lived as a woman twenty-four seven. We were lovers for real and you know what? I was happy. We were friends, him, Israel and me. We were a unit. But the hit on me didn’t go away. They caught us in the yard, stabbed him and left him to bleed out as they attacked me. I woke up on the infirmary. I’d have died if Israel hadn’t stepped in and did what he did. He killed for me, for us.”

  “That’s why you’re friends.”

  “I owe him, yes. But he’s my friend. I respect him. I love him as a brother.”

  “This story.” Quinn waved a hand. “Is it a long winded way of telling me that you like to dress in drag? That you’re Trans? What?”

  Tek shook his head. “None of that. Fuck, Quinn, it’s been years and I still don’t have a name for what I am. I just know that I am Tek, but I’m also that person who likes wearing makeup, dresses and heels. I’m that person who wants to get dressed up and put on a wig. I want to be whoever I am when I wake up that morning.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve never—I’ve never been with a man as Tek until you.”

  Quinn’s eyes widened. “How can that be?”

  “I’m… There’s someone I—” How did he explain Stavros? “There’s someone who allows me to be whoever I want to be.”

  Quinn’s head shot up. “Repeat that,” he ordered with narrowed eyes.

  “Qui
nn.”

  Quinn shook his head. “You’re not repeating. I want you to repeat what you just said.”

  “There’s someone,” Tek said slowly, carefully. “He helped me get out of prison and in exchange we have an understanding. I am myself with him. All of myself. I am free.”

  Quinn’s nostrils flared. “What does he get?”

  He wanted to look away as shame crept over him, but Tek didn’t. “He gets me. Any way he wants me.”

  A muscle ticked in Quinn’s jaw. He wasn’t speaking, but Tek couldn’t block out the disappointment and anger radiating from Quinn to him.

  “Tell me something.” Quinn tilted his head, watching Tek intently. “When was the last time he had you any way he wanted you?”

  That trap Tek had set for himself closed in, its sharp teeth pressing against his skin. “Quinn.”

  “Before or after we kissed? Before or after we acknowledged this thing between us?”

  Tek bit his lip. Fuck. “Technically before. I-I called Stavros while I was here.”

  Quinn looked as if he’d been sucker-punched.

  “I’m sorry,” Tek whispered. “You and I—Even though I was feeling something for you then, I didn’t think we’d have a chance. I never thought we’d be here, Quinn. This is why I’m telling you. I want you to know.”

  “Why?” Quinn demanded.

  “Because if we have any chance, you have to know. I can’t deny who I am anymore. It’s—it’s killing me. You’re the first person I had to tell. Who I had to bare myself to. And I want you to want me, because if you don’t, I can’t—I don’t think I can survive it.” The simple truth.

  “This is so fucking hard.” Quinn shook his head. “What do I do now?” he asked. “How do I process this?”

  Tek wanted to hold his tongue, didn’t want to add any more onto the pile of shit he’d just dropped into Quinn’s lap, but he refused to wait anymore. “There’s something else.” He kept his voice low. “I do— When I need to get away from the shit in my head, I use heroin.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Quinn stared at Tek, completely at a loss for words.

  What the hell was he supposed to say right now? He recognized the fear in Tek’s eyes, the tense frame of his body as though he braced for a blow. He expected Quinn to reject him. Thing was, Quinn didn’t know what he should do. His head was yelling at him to get away from Tek, because the other man was just as fucked up as Quinn, maybe even more so.

  He needed to think.

  “Quinn,” Tek whispered his name. “Say something.”

  Say something. Quinn wiped a hand over his mouth. “I thought I was the damaged one in this pair.” He motioned between them. “I’m not alone, am I?”

  “No.”

  But he hid it so well. Quinn would’ve never known. “You do drugs. You dress in woman’s clothes—Shit.” He blew out a breath. “You just dropped a helluva lot on my head.”

  Tek nodded. “I know. You’re the first person I’ve told. The only one who’s made me care enough to explain.” Tek closed his eyes briefly then opened them to hold Quinn’s gaze. “That alone I should thank you for.”

  Jesus. Quinn couldn’t imagine a child growing up the way Tek had. How could his parents not love him? How could they make their love conditional? “It is beyond fucked up what you had to go through.” He brought their foreheads together, bumped his nose against Tek’s. “I’m so sorry.”

  Tek’s breath shuddered over Quinn’s face. “It’s okay. I survived, didn’t I?”

  Did he? Quinn got in closer and wrapped his arms around Tek’s shoulders, holding him tight. The need to soothe him, to protect him, to defend him… that was new. And it was fierce. He’d never had that before, definitely not with Xavier. His ex had been the one in that role. How did he make it work now? What was he supposed to do to make it fit? Because judging by the way Tek clung to him, he needed that strength. Quinn had to find it, had to embrace it.

  Because he wanted Tek.

  Not a question of what he wanted. Right now the only thing he wanted to know was how to give Tek what he needed. Hearing that he had some nameless, faceless dude on call to service him was unacceptable.

  Quinn pulled back and grabbed Tek’s chin, holding him until their eyes met. “I am not okay with you being with somebody else.”

  Tek’s eyes bulged.

  “Doesn’t matter that it’s just physical. Doesn’t matter that you’re wearing a dress and heels. I. Don’t. Like it. As for the drugs…” He sighed. “I need to know you’ll stop, that you’ll get help for that.” He tried to use the voice Xavier used to take with him. Firm, but calm, making sure there was no room for arguments.

  He must have succeeded because Tek’s cheeks flushed bright and he dipped his head. Or tried to, because Quinn didn’t allow it.

  “Just because this is new to me doesn’t mean it scares me. Even though I don’t understand it now, I will, because you will help me. And I will help you.” He kissed Tek’s trembling lips. “I want this with you.”

  “I’ve never done this before,” Tek muttered against Quinn’s lips.

  “I’ll show you how.”

  Tek’s lips parted under his and Quinn kissed him again, deeper and a hell of a lot slower this time. Stroking Tek’s tongue with his until he shuddered, savoring him. He ran his hands up and down Tek’s back while the other man clutched him and matched him lick for nip. Quinn sighed into the kiss. He liked this, liked kissing Tek. Liked that every time their tongues twisted around each other Tek’s grip on him got tighter and tighter.

  Butterflies were going crazy in his lower belly. The thrill and anticipation of this made his blood race. He was scared, too. Afraid to mess up, afraid he wouldn’t measure up. But he ignored it, losing himself in the kiss and in Tek, inhaling him, sipping on him until he got lightheaded.

  He lifted his head and squinted down at Tek. “You go to my head,” he murmured. “Make me dizzy.” He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. “And I can’t get over how fucking good you taste.” He dipped his head, took those wet, swollen lips again, harder, rougher this time.

  He’d have never pegged Tek for having submissive tendencies, but here he was, melting against Quinn like butter on a hot biscuit. Shaking for him, making little needy sounds in the back of his throat for him.

  God, but it was good.

  Tek’s phone went off and he stilled before pulling back with a sigh of regret. “Sorry.” He fished the device from his pocket and stared at the screen before turning it off and lifting his head to meet Quinn’s gaze. “I have to go. Got a meeting I can’t miss.”

  “Okay.”

  Tek pursed his lips. “I think you should try to get some more rest.” He flashed an apologetic grin. “Seeing that I interrupted your sleep last night.”

  “Hey, I liked that interruption.”

  Tek rolled off the bed and looked around.

  “Your clothes are downstairs,” Quinn told him.

  He nodded. “Okay. I’ll let myself out.” He hesitated. “I’ll uh… get myself tested. Make sure I’m safe.”

  Quinn’s crotch tightened. “Yes.”

  Tek’s eyelids dropped and his jaw slackened as they eyed each other. Quinn had seen that expression at least three times in the span of twenty-four hours, every time he slid inside Tek, every time he came. A blush colored Tek’s face and chest, and the jerk of his exposed shaft gave away where his thoughts lay.

  “Bring me that piece of paper and I’ll fuck you like we both want me to.” The words sorta rumbled their way past Quinn’s chest and out his mouth before he’d fully grasped their impact. But Tek’s reaction made it so Quinn didn’t regret speaking them. The other man looked torn between leaving for his meeting, and jumping onto Quinn on his big bed.

  “Quinn…” Tek’s nostrils flared, his fist tightening around the phone in his left hand.

  “Go.”

  Tek did, and Quinn held his breath until he heard the door close downstairs. Until he heard th
e car leave his driveway then he picked up his house phone and dialed a number from memory.

  “Yo.”

  “Israel, I need a favor.”

  ****

  Leaving Quinn after confessing to him had been extra difficult. Meeting with Renzo Vega to discuss Tek selling him some bodies for his strip club when he really wanted to be all naked and pressed up against Quinn was difficult. Walking into Renzo’s office in the back of his strip club and finding a very familiar face waiting for him did not help matters any.

  “Mr. Ng.”

  Tek stood in the doorway and crossed his arms with a scowl. “That’s the way you address my father.” He narrowed his gaze at the FBI agent. “You don’t have my permission to address me.”

  Seated behind Renzo’s desk, Dane Hutchins leaned forward. “You don’t appear surprised to see me here.”

  Tek shrugged. “The way you campaigned for Vega when you thought Israel was gunning for him?” He chuckled. “Not surprised. I expected you sooner, actually.” He’d wondered if Renzo had been a snitch or undercover the instant the Fed showed up in Israel’s motel room trying to talk them out of killing Vega. Now he knew for sure.

  Undercover.

  How lucky for them that Tek played the game as if he’d known that all along.

  The agent didn’t say anything for a while then he sat back. “I have you, and your old man, dead to rights. You know that, yeah?”

  “This the part where I start making deals or something?” He mentally rolled his eyes. They wanted something else, something more from him. Otherwise he wouldn’t be in this office, trying to keep from walking out.

  Dutch—Tek remembered Reggie calling him that—held his gaze. “I want the Konstantinous. Specifically, Stavros and that pseudo sister of his.”

  A laugh burst from Tek, startling him. “No.” He didn’t care about Stavros, and Annika registered even less on his give-a-fuck meter, but those two, especially Stavros, were all tied up in Israel and Elias. And no matter what he had to do, Tek would go to his death protecting those men. Which, as much as he didn’t relish the taste the thought left in his mouth, meant he’d be protecting Stavros as well.