by Avril Ashton
Which he did, all the time. He drove, but Tek felt Quinn’s stare, hot on the side of his neck.
“Did you get the test?” Quinn asked from the passenger side.
Aw shit. Tek clenched his fingers around the steering wheel. He’d gotten caught up in his business meetings and forgot everything about that test. “I didn’t.” He threw Quinn an apologetic glance. “Slipped my mind.”
“Protection?”
“I—” Tek frowned. “Don’t have any.” He didn’t keep any on him and since he didn’t bring anyone back to his place there definitely wouldn’t be any there. “Sorry.”
“Stop the car.”
“What?” Was he changing his mind?
“Liquor store.” Quinn jerked a thumb out the car window. “Just passed it. And there’s a corner store across the street from it.”
So Tek pulled a U-turn in the middle of Rockaway Boulevard. By the time they got back into the vehicle, they had a sizeable stash of condoms and a bottle of Crown Royal Apple Whisky which seemed to be Quinn’s new favorite drink.
They rode the rest of the way to his place in silence while doubt tried its hardest to cool his arousal down. Tek pushed it out of his mind. Now, this moment, wouldn’t come around again. He wanted to be in it. To savor it. To experience everything about it.
About Quinn.
Doubt had no place in his head.
He found a parking space across the street from his building and together they made their way inside. Two flights of stairs later, they were behind closed doors and Tek’s blood was pumping. He turned on the lights and tossed the bag of condoms onto a nearby chair without even looking before grabbing Quinn and putting his mouth on him.
Quinn gasped against his lips, but quickly got with the program, opening so Tek could taste him like he’d been craving for so long. He shuddered at that first taste, eyelids sliding closed. Pressed to him, Quinn was heat and life, and Tek wanted him.
Wanted like he’d never wanted.
He deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around Quinn, bunching his shirt up against his back, using his body to push him into the wall. Quinn grunted into his mouth, tongue twisting around Tek’s. He was good. Giving Tek what he needed without even knowing.
He caught both of Quinn’s hands and brought them up, above his head, flattening him against the wall as he broke the kiss to lick his neck and bite his earlobe.
Quinn trembled. “Slow down, sugar. Not going anywhere.” His voice had gone husky with sex and promise, and the effect dragged down Tek’s spine in the most delicious way.
“I thought you had,” Tek confessed against his cheek. “I thought I’d lost you before I got the chance to truly have you.”
Quinn frowned. “What?”
“I tell you I like dressing women’s clothes then you go AWOL.” Tek sighed. “I thought I’d driven you away.”
“No. Never.” Quinn shook his head. “The thought never crossed my mind.”
“Good.” Tek tried to smile. “I want—” He swallowed. “I want to show you who I am.” He trailed a finger over Quinn’s collarbone while looking him in the eye. “Can I show you?”
Quinn caught his hand and brought it to his mouth. “You can show me anything,” he murmured against Tek’s knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Tek pulled back and waved a hand at the room. “Make yourself comfortable,” he told Quinn softly. “I’ll be back.” He walked away, into the bathroom and just stood there for a minute, both hands hanging on to the cold porcelain sink for dear life.
Now or never.
Knowing and seeing were two entirely different things. He didn’t want to imagine Quinn’s reaction to seeing him in women’s garb. But Tek needed this, he needed for Quinn to see him. The real him. And he had to see it, had to watch Quinn’s face when he saw Tek for the first time.
If he was disgusted, Tek didn’t know how he’d go beyond that.
Quinn’s approval was all he lived for. In this moment, in this heartbeat, Quinn’s opinion of him was all that mattered.
He pulled out the plastic storage boxes from their hiding place and went through his routine. It was automatic, done without much thought nowadays, but that nervous sensation in his gut was new. He hadn’t been nervous like this in a very long time. His hands trembled when he tugged the wig on, when he leaned into the mirror to apply the black liner. The lipstick smudged, his fingers were so clumsy.
He went with a shoulder length dark wig, a pale pink dress with fringes at the hem that reached mid-thigh. No stockings, just a pair of nude heels and black panties. The matching bra was padded, and he stepped back from the mirror, smoothing his hands down his sides.
Flawless. He was, but the mirror didn’t show the heavy, scared beating of his heart. It didn’t show the panic in his gut. It didn’t show the shaking in his fingers, the tremors in his lips. It didn’t show the terror that had him shivering from the cold sweats as he clung to the door knob, too afraid to twist it, push the door open, and show the man out there waiting for him just who he was.
As he stood there, he heard all the insults he’d gotten over the years. His parents’ disapproval and indifference, he felt it. He’d gotten so much rejection and negative reactions over the years.
The man on the other side of that door, he had the ability to do way more than just hurt Tek.
He took a deep breath. Squared his shoulders. And he twisted that knob.
Pushed the door open.
He stepped out, his heels loud on the wood floor.
Quinn reclined in the middle of Tek’s bed, head tipped back, eyes closed, his clothes off.
Naked.
Dude was naked.
And Tek wore a dress.
His shaking body refused to carry him further into the room so Tek leaned heavily against the door frame. “Quinn.” He kept his voice low, hands fisted awkwardly at his sides.
He opened his eyes, Quinn did. Slowly, and they got bigger and bigger as he took in what Tek wore. Tek watched him, watched his jaw drop, watched him snap his mouth closed, watched his jaw tick.
Quinn didn’t speak, and Tek couldn’t watch him anymore. He ducked his head, gaze on the open toed heels, shame and embarrassment hot on his face, on his neck, heavy on his heart. His eyes burned and he bit his lip.
“Xiao Chen.”
He refused to look up. He couldn’t.
“Eyes on me.” There was a push behind those words that Tek could never ignore.
He lifted his head. Quinn was sitting up in the middle of the bed, gaze intense of Tek’s face.
“You expect me to reject you?” Quinn asked. “To be disgusted by the sight of you?”
Tek shrugged. “Disgust and rejection is… nothing new.”
Quinn tilted his head. “You’re gorgeous, sugar.”
Tek held himself so still, afraid to feel those deceptive emotions, like relief, like happiness. Quinn was looking at him, the expression on his face difficult to read. But to Tek it seemed Quinn was looking at him for the first time. Seeing him for the very first time.
Did he like what was in front of him? The man in the dress, and the one out of it?
Quinn held out a hand. Tek stared at him.
“Come to me,” Quinn said. “I need you next to me.”
Tek’s heart thudded. “Quinn.” He didn’t know how to put his question into words. How to put his fear into words. Did Quinn want him? Did he like what he saw? Could he accept what Tek was?
“Come here, sugar.” Quinn patted the mattress next to him. “I want to kiss you, taste your lipstick.”
The tension in Tek’s lower belly drew tighter. He moved, one step in front of the other. Too soon he was next to the bed, standing between Quinn’s legs. Quinn drew him closer with both hands around Tek’s waist then tilted his face up, eyes serious.
“Let me taste it.” Some plea, as if he were desperate for it.
Tek dipped his head, hovering his lips over Quinn’s for a second before smashing the
m together. Quinn’s hold immediately tightened around him, his fingers pinching Tek through the thin fabric of his dress. He shook, eyes closed as Quinn just bombarded him. He took everything with just his tongue in Tek’s mouth and his fingers leaving permanent marks.
He took everything.
Tek slid his arms around his neck, moaning as Quinn sucked on his tongue. His skin was hot, the wig making him sweat. His erection grew heavier, painful, and he wanted nothing between him and Quinn. He wanted their skin pressed together, and their sweat and breaths mingling. He wanted red and purple marks on his skin, and impressions of his teeth all over Quinn’s body.
He wanted them, whatever them was. Whatever them meant.
One of Quinn’s hands slid down Tek’s back and under the hem of his dress, creeping up his ass, one finger teasing the edge of his panties. He panted into Quinn’s mouth.
“Ungh.” Quinn pulled away and licked his lips. They were a messy red. “Damn, that’s good.” His gaze was heavy-lidded, filled with the promise of sex. “Want you.” He continued touching Tek’s ass, one finger dragging down his crack.
Tek inhaled deeply, fighting to remain standing. “Yes. Please.”
Quinn nipped Tek’s bottom lip. “Get undressed. I’ll be back.” He moved away and got up from the bed, walking off in all his naked, brown-skinned deliciousness. “Matter fact—” He stopped in the open doorway, his back to Tek, one hand on the wall. “The heels stay on. Dress, too. And when I return, I’m gonna fuck you like that. On your back, panties pulled to the side and your ankles on my shoulders. With your wig all crooked, until you sweat out all that colorful makeup.”
Holy shit! Tek collapsed onto the bed. On his back.
Quinn faced him, and continued killing him with his words. “Until you get that I don’t care what you wear. It doesn’t matter to me. I just want you. In a dress. In a suit. Naked—preferably naked.” He licked his lips, gaze heated. “Always naked. ’Cause you’re gorgeous naked, in an Italian suit, or in a dress. Or when you’re coming.” His voice got softer. “You’re a monster in the midst of your orgasm, you know that?”
Tek whimpered. Whimpered, for fuck’s sake. He brought both legs up, opened them wide, pulling the panties to the side as Quinn watched. Exposing himself, his cock and balls and his ass, creating the real visual to the image Quinn’s words painted.
Quinn didn’t budge from the doorway, but the hungry approval in his eyes, man, that had Tek feeling sexier than he’d ever felt.
“You get louder, violent when you’re coming,” Quinn told him. “And your face…” He shook his head, gaze on Tek’s fingers where he touched himself, pushed them inside, fucked himself to the soundtrack of Quinn.
All Quinn.
“I want to always watch your face while I break you off,” Quinn said in a husky drawl.
Tek arched off the bed, two fingers shoved into his ass to the second knuckle. “Quinn. Stop. Fuck.” He panted. “You’re gonna get your wish if you don’t stop talking and get to doing.”
“Or nah.” Quinn leaned against the wall and cupped himself, stroking his shaft. “Bring yourself off just like that.”
Tek clenched around his fingers. “I can’t—” He licked his lips, gaze stuck on Quinn’s wrist as it slid up and down his cock. “God.” He groaned. “Don’t do that.” The muscles in his thighs tensed, ass clenching like crazy.
“Do it for me.”
Damn it. Tek closed his eyes and arched, head thrashing back and forth as he grunted, fucking himself as he tugged on his balls.
“Xiao Chen.”
“Fuck.” The orgasm burst like a balloon, and Tek couldn’t stop cursing and shouting. “Fuck.” So Goddamn sweet, yet not. He kept cursing as he milked every last drop of cum onto his stomach
Quinn made a sound and Tek glanced over to find him shaking, cum dripping from his cock as he slid down the wall to the floor.
“Christ.”
Right?
****
He sat in the back of a coffee shop on Manhattan’s Upper East Side after dropping Quinn at the airport. He’d used the excuse of checking in on his mother to take a later flight back, but that wasn’t all he had to do. These white lies and lies by omission were eating away at him.
Eating away at his relationship, too. And sooner rather than later Quinn would see Tek for what he was. A liar, posing as someone he wasn’t. He was racing against time to keep his world safe and intact, but with so many blows coming at him at all sides, that shit was near impossible.
A vision in white caught his attention and held it as she stood in the doorway, head turning this way and that before she spotted him and her lips curved in hesitant acknowledgement. Mei-Lei wore a skirt, one of those high-waisted ones that went up over the navel, and a matching top with short sleeves that showed off just a hint of skin on her stomach. The gold flats on her feet didn’t help her five-feet nothing height one bit. Her hair was in a ponytail, her face scrubbed of makeup save for a little color on her lips.
She looked effortless, so effortless, he begrudged her that. Gorgeous, poised, and so properly suited for someone not him.
“Hello.” She nodded at him as he stood to pull out her chair for her. “Thank you.”
He accepted her gratitude with a twist of his lips as he sat back down. “How are you?”
She shrugged. “Busy, but fine.”
“And school? How is that going?” Small talk. Kill him dead.
“Good.” She met his gaze then looked down at the table.
“Can I get you something?” He made to rise, and she shook her head.
“No. I—” She licked her lips, gaze flicking to him then away. “We should, uh, discuss what—”
“What do you want?” he asked. When she didn’t speak, he leaned over and touched her hand. “This is us, not our fathers. Tell me what you would do if you weren’t about to be tied to a stranger for life.”
She squared her shoulders. “My life is all planned out for me.”
Fuck. “But what if it wasn’t?” he insisted. “What if you got to choose, what if you got to make the decisions?”
Her eyes sparkled, but it wasn’t from laughter or happiness. She looked broken, this perfect doll. Just this side of shattered. “I would work with animals. Horses, maybe. A trainer. A vet.” Just like that those words chased away the shadows in her eyes, made her tone lighter, brought color to her smooth cheeks as she stared off into the distance. Likely imagining it.
“You would be happy.”
She blinked and focused on him. “But we both know that’s out of the question.”
He kept his hand on hers, stroking her knuckles. “I can be your friend. A brother, if you need that. Who I can’t be is your husband.”
She inhaled sharply, lips trembling as her throat worked. Tek couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad, angry or what.
“I left the arms of someone I care for deeply to see you today. And I—as I sit here, this mess is becoming harder and harder to justify, especially since we shouldn’t be in it in the first place.”
Mei-Lei paled. “I’m sorry. Does she—”
“He knows nothing about this.” He held Mei-Lei’s gaze when he said, “But I need more than this business my father is forcing me into. You deserve more than to be shackled to a man you don’t want, who doesn’t want you. This needs to end.”
“I-I didn’t know you were… That you liked men.”
He snorted. “My father knows, has known since I was ten.”
Her mouth opened into the perfect O, but she didn’t speak.
“There will be no marriage,” he told her firmly. “But I might be able to make this work out in our favor all the same.” Narrowing his gaze, he said, “If you keep this conversation between us.”
She nodded quickly. “Yes.”
“I will make sure you’re protected,” he promised. “Trust me. Please.”
Mei-lei gazed at him with wide eyes. “Okay. I will.”
Chapter Sevente
en
Tek walked through Renzo Vegas’ club, gliding through the crowd on the dancefloor as he made his way to the back. The sooner he got this shit done, the sooner he got back to Quinn. Leaving Quinn’s bed was not an easy thing. Even now he felt his lover on him, felt Quinn’s fingers on his skin, pressing into him.
He took a breath when he reached the door leading out into the back area of the club. Two men stood guard, clad in black, ear pieces in place, hands folded in front of them as they stood legs apart and eyed him. He jerked his chin, and they nodded, stepping aside to give him just enough space to sneak past them and through the door.
On the other side was an empty hallway. He stuck his hands in his pockets and continued walking before he got to the other door. The one where, upon opening it, he’d be bringing all kinds of shit down on his already hunched shoulders. He opened the door anyway, stepped through it with his shoulders squared and his game face on.
Only to come to a stop.
The office, small before, was downright claustrophobic now. Filled as it was with men—and a few women. They all turned toward him in a uniformed move, shock coloring their faces once recognition hit.
“What. The. Fuck?”
“Dutch, you’re gonna need to start explaining this shit.”
“Why is he here?”
He could’ve sworn he heard somebody’s gun cock from somewhere in the corner, but Tek stood against the door, arms crossed and waited for all the fuss to die down.
“Mr. Ng.” Dutch got up from where he sat in front of the desk. “Thanks for coming.”
Tek frowned at him. “I told you not to call me that.” He gazed around the room slowly. “You having a party?”
“No.” Dutch sighed and resumed his seat. “I was just explaining to my people the threat we were facing.”
“Dutch.” A blond peeled himself away from the shadows. “Why are we making nice with international criminals?” He glared at Tek with all kinds of dislike in his blue eyes.
“I don’t explain myself to you, Jack.” Dutch didn’t grant the blond a glance. “Remember that.” He took a breath then stood. “Tek is here to help.”