Kiss of the Wolf

by Jim Shepard

  “Gettin’ a lotta short phone calls,” Bruno said when she hung up.

  Todd came into the room and opened the refrigerator.

  “Man o’ the house,” Bruno said.

  “Hey, Bruno,” Todd said, his head in the refrigerator.

  “Hello, Todd,” Nancy said.

  “Hello, Nancy,” Todd said.

  “Todd know his mom’s bein’ questioned by the police?” Bruno asked.

  Todd froze behind the door. The shifting and sliding sounds of his search stopped.

  He stuck his head up and looked at Joanie.

  “A friend of Bruno’s,” she said. “That’s all. He just wants to go over what they already know.”

  She was about to say something else to reassure him, but the phone rang again. She made an enraged sound and snatched it up. Bruno chuckled.

  It was the Orange garage. They couldn’t do it today, or tomorrow, either.

  “So how’s your memory about drivin’ home that night?” Bruno asked quietly.

  Todd spooned vanilla yogurt from the tub into a dish. He shrugged. His face flushed.

  Joanie told the garage it was already taken care of.

  “Todd,” she said. When Todd looked at her, angry, she said, “See if anyone else wants some.”

  “None for me,” Bruno said. “Yogurt? Holy God.”

  “Lemme make sure we’re canceling the right party here,” the voice on the phone said. “This is Mulenberg?”

  “Muhlberg, yes,” she said. Bruno looked at her, and she rolled her eyes and circled her index finger near her temple.

  “Muhlberg?” the guy said. “Not Mulenberg?”

  “Poor Tommy. Terrible thing,” Nancy murmured to Todd. He nodded, but he couldn’t look at her.

  “Muhlberg, Mulenberg, cancel them all,” Joanie said. She had to go; thank you. She hung up.

  “Subscriptions,” she said to Bruno.

  Todd stood in the doorway to the hall and ate his yogurt. “So when are you gonna be questioned by the police?” he asked.

  “Sit at the table,” Bruno said. He was leaning against the wall with his arms folded. “You’re gonna get indigestion.”

  “These kids don’t care,” Nancy said.

  “Nobody gave Bruno any coffee?” Todd said.

  “We never got Todd’s side of the story,” Bruno said. “You’re a passenger, you see a lotta things the driver misses.”

  The phone rang again. Joanie swore.

  “Get me a copy of Field and Stream,” Bruno said. “And get a copy of Modern Bride for Nancy here.”

  “Fuck you, Bruno,” Nancy said.

  It was Nina. “Who’s over there?” Nina said.

  “What happened to ‘Hello,’ Ma?” Joanie said.

  “What’s your problem?” Nina said. “I just asked who’s over there.”

  “Nancy,” Joanie said. “And Bruno.”

  “Who’s that? That your mother? Send her my love,” Bruno said.

  “What’d he say?” Nina asked.

  “He said he’s sorry he’s always rude to you,” Joanie said.

  “Tell him not to get fresh,” Nina said.

  “Don’t you hafta be at the dealership?” Nancy asked. “Shouldn’t you be cheatin’ some widow out of her life savings at this point?”

  “Yeah, I gotta go,” Bruno said. “Todd, Yankee game: tomorrow night?”

  Todd blinked, still holding his yogurt dish. “At the Stadium?” he asked.

  “No, at my house,” Bruno said. “I’ll buy chips. Acourse the Stadium.”

  “When did this come up?” Joanie asked, a little panicked. “When’d you get this idea?”

  “When did what come up?” Nina asked.

  “Hold on, Ma,” Joanie said.

  “What?” Bruno said. “Just now. You heard it.”

  “I got Ad Altare Dei Wednesday,” Todd said.

  Bruno shrugged and turned his head slightly to the side. “And I’m busy Christmas Eve. But I’m talking tomorrow night here.”

  “Okay. That’d be great,” Todd said.

  “I’ll pick you up six o’clock,” Bruno said. “We’ll get something down there.”

  “Are you still there?” Nina said. “Hello?”

  “I’m not sure about this,” Joanie said, trying to get Todd’s attention.

  “Thanks for your input,” Bruno said, heading for the door. “I’m outta here. Tell your mother she drove me out of the house.”

  “She’ll be thrilled,” Joanie said. “Ma, you just drove Bruno out of the house.”

  “I’m thrilled,” Nina said.

  Bruno pointed to Joanie. “You think about where you wanna go. Remember, the date was your idea.” He had the door open and he pointed to Nancy. “Nancy. Hang in there.”

  “Fuck you, Bruno,” she said again.

  Bruno spread his hands wide for Todd. “I come in, I’m polite, I get shit on,” he said. He went out the door whistling.

  “Nancy,” Joanie said.

  “Well, he pisses me off,” she said. “Rubbing my face in it.”

  “I know,” Joanie said.

  “Rubbing your face in what?” Todd asked.

  “Todd, leave it alone,” Joanie said. He tossed his empty dish and spoon onto the counter with a clatter, and turned and stalked off.

  “Is he getting fresh?” Nina said.

  “Ma, come over if you wanna talk,” Joanie said, exasperated. “Between you on the phone and everybody, I’m goin’ nuts here.”

  “Pardon me for living,” Nina said. “Good-bye and good luck.” She hung up.

  Joanie looked at the phone and blew out some air before hanging up.

  She turned to face Nancy. She wanted to get rid of her so she could talk to Todd. She didn’t want to imagine Bruno working on Todd for four hours at a baseball game, and they had to figure a way to get out of it.

  “So what d’you got planned for today?” she asked Nancy. “You want more coffee?”

  “Sure,” Nancy said. “Pisses me off when he does that.” She handed her mug to Joanie.

  “Bruno’s Bruno,” Joanie said.

  “Well, that’s helpful.”

  “Well, it’s true.” She poured what was left in the coffeepot. “There’s only half a cup here.”

  “Make another pot,” Nancy said.

  Joanie closed her eyes, her back to Nancy, and rubbed her face. “I think I’m out,” she said.

  “No, you’re not out,” Nancy said. “I felt the can.”

  Joanie grabbed the can and ripped off the lid.

  She heard Todd on the stairs and then at the front door. “I’m goin’ out,” he called.

  “Todd?” she called back. “Todd?” She leaned sideways to see down the hallway. “Where you goin’?

  “Out,” he called. The front door slammed.

  “Ah, they’re something, aren’t they?” Nancy said. She sighed.

  “Hold on a sec,” Joanie said. She hurried to the front door. She swung it inward and looked both ways down the street. He was already gone. Had he gone around the side of the house?

  “How could he disappear that fast?” she said, coming back down the hall.

  She sat at the table, after starting another pot of coffee.

  Nancy was the last person she needed to deal with right now. “I’m real busy,” she said.

  Nancy looked down.

  Come on, Joanie thought. This is your best friend.

  “Hey,” she said. “How’re you doin’?”

  Nancy leaned forward in her chair and put her elbows on her knees. She gave Joanie a little smile and looked down the hall toward the living room. “You heard anything from Gary?” she asked.

  Joanie wanted to help, but she didn’t have time for this. And she was worried about Todd. “Don’t worry about Bruno,” she said. “He’s all talk.”

  “I didn’t just bring it up because a Bruno,” Nancy said. “I been thinking about you.”

  “Thanks,” Joanie said, but she didn’t s
ound as touched as she felt.

  They both were staring down the cluttered hallway.

  “You’re really letting the house go,” Nancy said. She sounded sad rather than judgmental, but Joanie was still a little offended.

  Joanie got up and poured their coffee. She pushed the half-and-half closer to Nancy’s cup with two fingers.

  “We gonna talk, or what?” Nancy said.

  “What’re we doin’ now?” Joanie asked.

  Nancy snorted.

  They went all the way back to junior high. Joanie remembered a night before a Spring Fling dance, the two of them improvising to disguise the little cycle of good dance clothes they owned.

  “The Gary thing got me down, and …” She searched around for something else. She was terrible at this, even when she was telling the truth. “Bruno’s been a pain.”

  Nancy looked away.

  “I’m sorry,” Joanie said. “You know what I mean.” What she meant was, I’m sorry about the way you feel about Bruno.

  Nancy nodded. Joanie thought, This is a woman who never got one break.

  She had another memory, from after high school: the two of them showing each other their diaries. She remembered thinking it was their way of proving to themselves that someone in the world might be interested. She remembered Nancy used little symbols, a code for herself. To make it more exciting? To save time? As a kind of modesty? Joanie couldn’t tell. She remembered some of the bigger ones: Three wavy lines meant depression. A skull and crossbones meant sex.

  “I put up with so much shit from him,” Nancy said. “Like just now. He has to do that in front of you? He has to ask you out in front of me?”

  Joanie gave her a sympathetic look, but she could feel her concentration slipping back to the car in the garage, Todd wandering by a police station.

  “I should get one of those books,” Nancy said. “Women Who Love Guys Who Love … whatever. I went to a bar the other night. Mr. P’s. I called you but you were out. The night a Todd’s party, after we all went home. I just thought, you know, I don’t need anybody to go out with. I took a booth, I’m minding my own business, Bruno comes in with Joey Distefano and two other guys.”

  Joanie sat up. “Joey Distefano?” she said.

  “The cop,” Nancy said. “You met him. Bruno sees me, you think he comes over? You think he introduces me? He just starts joking.” She was lifting her mug and setting it down with her middle finger and thumb.

  “What’d he joke about?” Joanie finally said quietly.

  Nancy lowered her head, ashamed, and Joanie felt a pang for asking.

  “Like he thought I couldn’t hear him,” Nancy said. She lifted her mug and set it down again. “So I drank three beers so I could make my own jokes,” she said.

  From the living room they heard the jingle of Audrey’s tag as she scratched herself and the grunt when she collapsed back onto the carpet.

  Joanie touched her hand to Nancy’s upper arm. “Sweetie,” she said.

  Nancy stood up. “You know what? I’m gonna let you do whatever you have to do today.”

  “You want another cuppa coffee?” Joanie said.

  “You’re busy, I’m busy,” Nancy said. “Gimme a call sometime. I gotta roll.” She squeezed Joanie’s shoulder. When she opened the back door, she called, “Audrey. Break-in in progress,” and waved to Joanie before shutting it behind her. Audrey didn’t bark.

  She washed out the coffee cups and put them in the dishwasher. It was already eleven-thirty. She made a nice sandwich for Todd, pepperoni and cheese. She cut it in half and sat next to it for a moment, like it was her accomplishment for the day. She covered it with a napkin.

  She was all jittery. She had a three-hour wait before she could take the car in. If she left a little early, two and a half hours.

  At some point she should eat. She made herself a half sandwich, of provolone only, and fed it to the dog.

  She cleared out the hall. She swept upstairs in the spare room and found on the floor a half-filled mug of coffee that had to be a week old.

  She called Brendan’s house. Todd hadn’t been there.

  Audrey followed her from room to room.

  She went out to the garage and squeezed past all the junk up to the front of the car. She studied the dents. She was trying to think of what to claim she hit. First she thought a pole. Then she realized there’d be scrapes, that the paint would look different and the dents would be less gentle. A bush? A deer? Did they even ask when you brought a car in? Still, she had to have something ready, even if they just asked casually. What would she say? None of your business? She got impatient with herself and left the garage.

  She wrapped Todd’s sandwich in foil and put it in the refrigerator at the front of the top shelf.

  She sat back down at the kitchen table. Did he have any money for lunch?

  The phone rang. When she answered, nobody was on the other end.

  She thought about how unhappy Nancy was, how little help she’d been. “When was I ever any help?” she said aloud.

  Audrey pattered into the kitchen, assuming she was being talked to.

  Those things they put near highway exits. Those barrels filled with sand: she could say she hit one of those. She tried to anticipate ways in which someone could figure out she hadn’t.

  The kitchen clock made a small clicking noise. She scratched her instep with her heel. Her stomach was churning. On a scratch pad on the table she drew an oval, and put two dots inside it and gave it a smile. She drew a parody of her hair. She wrote JOANIE underneath it and crossed it out with a single huge X.

  She went back out to the garage and checked the roof of the car. He’d hit the roof of the car. She got her eyes low to the roofline and saw the dents: wide and shallow, at least two. They were hard to see, maybe because the car was a dark color.

  She put her hand on one, like she could still feel body warmth.

  There was nothing she could do about those. What was she going to say? She hit one of the barrels and it bounced over her head?

  She squatted beneath the junk on the wall. She was never going to be able to relax. The roof was always going to be like this. A year from now she could see Bruno running a hand over it and suddenly looking at her.

  She calmed herself down. He hadn’t seen them yesterday. Neither had she.

  She went back inside and watched TV, trying to figure out what to do. She was waiting for Todd and two o’clock. “The Andy Griffith Show,” “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Rob’s boss had a toupee and something funny was going on with their not wanting him to know they knew. Two o’clock came first.

  She tore off the top page of the scratch pad. On the page underneath, she wrote, Todd—Back soon—Sandwich in Frige. She swore and jammed in a d, making it Fridge. She added, Want to go to a movie tonight? Love, Mom, and centered the note on the table.

  Want to go to a movie tonight? she thought acidly, backing down the driveway.

  She wandered around Hamden for twenty minutes looking for the garage, unwilling to ask directions, as if that were the clue that would give her away. When she finally found it, the guy came out to see her, rubbing his hands with an oily black rag. He flapped the rag toward one of the bays, and someone else guided her in over the lift. She sat in a paneled waiting room while they worked. No one talked to her. New radial tires on stands were angled around as decorations. She sat near a table covered with People magazines that looked like they’d been dumped out of a box.

  While they were still working on her car the guy she’d talked to on the phone called her over to the cash register. The bill was four hundred and something. She took out her checkbook. It occurred to her that she should’ve paid cash, so that no one could trace the check. But maybe paying in cash would’ve been suspicious to this guy.

  He took her check and thanked her and told her the car’d be out in a few minutes. He reminded her that it wouldn’t be completely dry and that she’d probably get grit in the finish.

  She
sat back down. It was almost four.

  One of the guys who’d worked on the car looked into the waiting room. When he saw her, he came over and dropped a quarter in her hand.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  “Good-luck quarter,” the guy said. “We found it when we pulled off the bumper. Musta dropped down where the grill work got pushed against the chassis.”

  She stared at it in her hand.

  “Car’s all set,” he said. “If you’re sure you don’t wanna leave it overnight.”

  “Thanks,” she said. When he left, she slipped the quarter inside one of the People magazines and burrowed the magazine deep inside the pile.

  Todd wasn’t back when she got home. She called Brendan, and Brendan’s mother still hadn’t seen him. Was everything all right? Everything was fine.

  She sat staring at the phone. He didn’t have a lot of friends.

  She called another kid he’d gone to the movies with once. The kid was out, but his mother was sure he wasn’t with Todd.

  She didn’t know what to do while she waited, where to look. The kitchen had a faint cinnamony smell. She called Bruno. She wanted to tell him she’d go out with him.

  “Hey, there. Todd’s over here,” he said.

  “Todd?” she said. She was standing, and she leaned back against the counter. “Over there? How’d he get over there?”

  “I saw him wandering around, I picked him up. Why? Were you worried?”

  “Of course I was worried,” she said. “I didn’t know where he was. Where’d you pick him up?”

  “So anyway, what’s up?” Bruno said. “You callin’ to look for him?”

  “No,” she said. “Put him on for a second.”

  There was some muffled fumbling and talk. Todd gave a low laugh.

  “Hello?” Todd said.

  “Hey, you,” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going over there? I was worried.”

  “I didn’t know,” he said.

  “Why didn’t you tell me, once you were over there?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Did you eat anything?” she asked. It was all she could think to say.

  “Bruno says we’re gonna go out,” Todd said. The receiver was muffled again and Bruno said something and they both laughed.