Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain #1)

by Lindsay Paige

  I count to ten before I make my first move. I lean down and slip off my heels. I scoot over to Hudson’s side and tuck my feet under me. I fit perfectly into his side. I hear him chuckle, and he brings his arm down laying it on my thigh. His warm touch is soothing as we watch the movie.

  The movie is as exciting as the book, except a few changes that were made. I stay next to Hudson the whole time, and I enjoy it. When the movie is over, I look up to see that Hudson fell asleep.

  I don’t want to wake him, but I’m not sure what I should do. I hate that he would have to drive home tired. What if he falls asleep at the wheel and gets hurt? I ease away from his side and notice that he doesn’t move at all. I turn off the TV and grab a blanket from the hall closet. I gently lay it on him. I turn off all the lights except the kitchen, in case he does wake up.

  I stare at him for a moment. His full lips are slightly parted. His eyelashes are long and spread out. He looks so peaceful.

  I turn and head to my bedroom. I quietly shut my door, change my clothes, and go to bed with a smile on my face.

  Chapter Nine

  Hudson

  I wake up with a horrible kink in my neck, a blanket over me, and slivers of sunlight peeking through the blinds on the window. Memories of last night and pieces of Harry Potter flash in my mind. I must have fallen asleep. Before I get up, I stretch my hands out in front of me, cracking my knuckles, and then stretch out my legs.

  If I have to drive back home, I’m going to need some coffee. Please let Ellie drink coffee. The first thing my eyes see in the kitchen is the coffee maker. Yes! Now, I just have to find everything else. While I open her cabinets in my search, I think about last night. She’s never had a serious relationship and based on what she said, she’s still a virgin. Talk about pressure. I’m sure her anxiety issues have something to do with that as well. Shaking my head, I clear my mind. I don’t want to think about that right now.

  I’ve got the coffee started, and I’m leaning with my back against the counter, my arms crossed. At the sound of soft footsteps, I lift my head. Ellie squeals when she sees me, tugging her t-shirt down. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt that stops mid-thigh, and her hair is all over the place.

  “Sorry!” Her cheeks are flaming red, but I can’t stop eyeing her small, perfect frame. “I forgot you were here. I’ll be right back.” She swivels on her heels before she scurries back to her bedroom.

  Now that she’s gone, I can’t help my chuckle. If I knew nothing about Ellie, I would wonder how in the hell she’s still single, much less a virgin. She has the type of beauty that is reserved for those who take a second to stop and appreciate it. Once you do, it’s hard not to see how beautiful she is.

  Ellie returns, bringing me out of my thoughts, dressed in yoga pants, a t-shirt (with a bra this time), and her hair is thrown up into a messy bun. She avoids looking at me as she takes out the creamer and sugar for the coffee. It’s probably because I’m looking at her like I want to have her for breakfast.

  “Sorry,” she mutters again when she comes to stand next to me, but facing the opposite direction.

  “Don’t be,” I say, lightly bumping my hip with hers.

  “Did you sleep well?” She asks as she pours coffee into each cup.

  “Pretty much. Thank you.” I take my cup before she can ask if I want anything else in it. When she scrunches her nose as her eyes follow the cup, I ask, “What?”

  “You don’t add anything at all?”

  “Nope.”

  “That’s gross.”

  I laugh. Ellie turns to rest her hip on her counter, watching me as we each take a sip. We stand there in silence, me looking at Ellie while she looks everywhere but me. After I have finished my cup, I sit it on the counter. Slowly, I move my hands to her hips. I hold them with just enough pressure that she knows they are there. Ellie clutches her cup to her chest and peeks her eyes up at me.

  “Thanks for letting me sleep over.”

  “You’re welcome,” she starts as I take a small step towards her, just a breath and her coffee cup between us. Her fingers are pressed between my chest and her mug. “I didn’t want you to drive home that late. That’s not very safe.”

  I shake my head. “No, not at all.”

  My eyes drop to her lips when she licks them. This girl is going to kill me in a slow, deliciously tortuous death. My voice is low as I say, “I need to head home and I’m sure you have to get ready for work.” I pause to drag my eyes up to briefly look into hers. “I’m going to kiss you before I go. Okay?”

  Ellie nods. It’s barely there, but she does indeed nod. My lips lift into a smile.

  “Close your eyes,” I order softly.

  They flutter to a close as if she wasn’t sure if she should do what I said or not. Her lips part slightly and she shudders out a breath. I lean down, hover for a second, and then press my lips against hers. Ellie leans further into me, chipping away at my resolve to give her a simple, sweet kiss. When her tongue gently runs over my mouth, it diminishes completely. I invite her inside and taste her. Ellie sighs into me as I kiss her harder. When my fingers ever so slightly dig into her hips, I know it’s time for me to go. Ellie keeps her eyes closed when I pull away, so I whisper goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, and see myself out.

  ~

  It’s been two days since I’ve seen Ellie. Last night, I had a game, which we won, and today is the dinner with both Ellie and my sister. Since they live closer to Seattle than Portland, I’m driving up to meet them. I’m picking Ellie up first and we’re going to see a movie before supper. Some time with me beforehand should relax her enough to make meeting my sister easier. We’re both nervous because we don’t know what’s going to happen.

  After parking my truck, I walk up the porch steps and knock on the front door. Ellie appears within seconds, a smile on her face.

  “Hey,” I greet, kissing her cheek.

  “Hi, Hudson. I’m all ready if you are.”

  “Great. Let’s go then.” I hold my hand out, which she takes without hesitation. Once we’re on our way, Ellie asks me about my day. “It was pretty good. Yours?”

  She shrugs. “It was a day.”

  “You always say that, why?” I ask, curious.

  “People experience highs and lows every day, so unless it’s exceptionally good or really bad, then it was just a day. Seems more honest to me.”

  It makes sense. “Do you have anything in mind for the movie?”

  “Something funny, I think. Does that sound good to you?”

  I nod. We ride the rest of the way in silence. When we get to the theater, I buy our tickets, and we go ahead in to sit down. I hold Ellie’s hand the entire time. She sneaks glances at me, but I pretend not to notice with the exception of a small smile. The movie is hilarious, and I’ve never seen Ellie laugh so much.

  Whit is going to meet us at the restaurant in a few. On the drive there, I reach over to grab Ellie’s hand and say, “Nervous?”

  She laughs softly. “Just a little.”

  “It’ll be fine, but if not, remember you can squeeze my hand.”

  Chapter Ten

  Ellie

  I was thankful that I was leaning on the counter when Hudson kissed me. When he left I just stood there, trying to process the fact that he did kiss me. He had told me he was going to be busy with work the next couple days and when he got back I would meet his sister.

  I’m a nervous wreck when the day comes to meet her. From the moment he picks me up, until we walk into the restaurant, I’m praying that I don’t pass out. A small, light brown hair girl waves her arm when we walk in. Hudson squeezes my hand, and we go into that direction.

  “Hudsy!” The young girl hugs him. She’s beautiful. Very small frame, with big chocolate brown eyes. She looks a lot like Hudson.

  “Whitney, this is Ellie.” Hudson steps to the side and puts his hand on the small of my back. I stick my hand out to her.

  “Hello, Ellie. My brother has told me so much a
bout you.” She smiles brightly at me.

  I smile. I can’t speak yet. When she releases my hand Hudson pulls the chair out for me to sit down. He sits with his back to the people behind us.

  “I figured a dark corner table was acceptable, Hudson,” Whitney says, still smiling.

  “It’s fine.” He gives her a tight smile back. A waiter comes over and takes our drink order.

  “Ellie, my brother has told me a lot, but I would love to know more about you.” Whitney’s smile is sweet, but I feel like I’m getting ready to be interrogated.

  “Sure,” I’m finally able to say.

  “Whitney, don’t be rude.” Hudson gives her a pointed look.

  “Hudsy,” she whines. “I’m never rude.”

  I sit there, feeling very uncomfortable. I don’t want them to fight because of me.

  “Ellie, what do you do for a living?” Whitney begins to ask.

  “I’m a sales rep for a medical supply company.”

  “Are you in Portland a lot?”

  “More now than before.” I’m so thankful when the waiter puts my wine in front of me. I quickly take a big gulp trying to settle my nerves.

  “Interesting. Do you have any hobbies?”

  “Um, I like to read and run. I guess those are my hobbies.” I hate that I sound so pathetic.

  “My hobby is reality TV. I just can’t get enough. Do you watch TV?” I see Hudson from corner of my eye, and his jaw is clenched.

  “I don’t watch much TV. I don’t think I’ve seen a reality TV show either.”

  “Really?” Whitney pauses and sips on her wine. “You know my mom just read an interesting book. It was a New York Times bestseller, but I just can’t remember the name of it. It was about a girl who travels time and saves the world from zombies.”

  “Oh, I just read that. It’s called Traveling Girl. It’s a really good book.” It’s the first time that I feel confident in the conversation.

  “I think that’s it. Hudson, have you read it?” Whitney teases him. Before Hudson could say anything the waiter takes our order. I gulp down some more wine. I know that she isn’t done with me yet.

  “You know, Ellie, our whole family just loves sports. You like any sports?”

  “Um, no, I don’t follow sports.” I shake my head

  “Really? Not even professional sports? I know that some of those players are quite hot,” Whitney sings out.

  “Whit, that isn’t funny.” Hudson looks pissed.

  “Oh, big brother. I know how much you love…sports.” She gives him a small smile.

  I feel like I should be part of the joke, but I don’t get it.

  “How is school going, Whit?” Hudson asks. I get the impression that he wanted to change the subject quickly.

  She goes into details about her classes and projects that she is working on. She sounds like a very busy girl.

  “So, you’re an architect too?” I ask gingerly.

  “Um,” she looks at Hudson before answering,”well, I’m studying to be one. I want to follow in the family footsteps.”

  “Your entire family is in the business?” I’m a little shocked that the entire family is all in the same profession.

  “Well.” Hudson shifts in his seat.

  Whitney jumps in. “Well, some of us are on that career path. Our dad is retired, but our brother works for a big firm in Orlando.”

  “Wow, that’s awesome.”

  Our food comes, and I’m thankful that we just have small talk about our food and service. Whitney and Hudson talk about their family and there is a slight pain in my heart. I wish I had that. I wish that I had family that I could gossip with, and they care about my well-being.

  “You know, Ellie, I love your purse,” Whitney comments.

  “Oh, thanks.” I blush. I don’t want to tell her that it’s just a knock-off because I’ll never be able to purchase a real one.

  “Are you ladies ready to go?” Hudson asks, paying the bill. I feel bad that he had to purchase mine too. He had already paid for the movie and the drive up here. I hate that he is spending all this money on me.

  We all three stand to leave. We were almost to the door when someone yells Hudson’s name. I turn to see a tall male come towards him. Panic seems to wash over Hudson’s face.

  “Hey, Ellie, how about we get some fresh air?” Whitney loops her arm with mine, and she pulls me towards the door.

  “Um, did you know that guy?” I ask Whitney when we’re outside.

  “Hell, I have no clue. Hudsy seems to know everyone, though.” She shrugs. “My brother really likes you. I can see it.” Her smile deepens.

  I drop my head and stare at the ground. I can feel the heat rising to my face. What do I say to that?

  “Whit, let’s get you to your car?” Hudson comes out to us.

  “I’m right there.” She points across the street. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.” She hugs her brother tightly. “Love you, Hudsy,” she sings out to him.

  He just shakes his head. “Love you too.”

  Whitney comes over to me. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight.” I’m very surprised that she hugs me.

  I gently hug her back. “Me too.”

  Hudson doesn’t move until he makes sure she is in her car and drives away. It makes me smile to think how protective he is over her. He takes my hand and we walk down the street to his truck. The warm spring air is just a great addition to the wonderful night that I’m having with Hudson.

  We get back into the truck and head back to my house. On the drive, we talk about dinner, Whitney, and just listen to the music. I tell Hudson that I was nervous, but she’s a great girl. I can see how proud Hudson is of his sister and family.

  When we get back to my house, it’s late, and I know that Hudson must be tired. I’ve thought about him sleeping on my couch again. He opens the truck door for me and holds my hand as I slip out of the truck. He walks me up to the porch.

  I turn around to him. “Hey, it’s late. Why don’t you come in for a nightcap and just…just stay here for the night?”

  “Oh, Ellie, I’ll be fine.” He waves it off like it’s no big deal.

  “No, it’s okay, Hudson. I would hate for you to be driving this late at night, anyway.”

  He looks at me for a moment. I know that he is thinking about it. “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he finally agrees.

  I smile and open the door. I head for the kitchen, because a glass of wine is what I need to keep me calm while he is here. He takes off his jacket and puts it on the back of the chair. I hand him a glass. He sips it, as I slip off my heels.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say. I go to my bedroom and change into my pajamas. When I come out of the bedroom, I have a pillow and blanket with me. Hudson is in the living room with his head in his hands.

  “Hudson, you okay?” He looks up and his eyes go wide, looking me up and down.

  “Yes.”

  I walk over to him. I lay the items at the end of the couch and sit next to him. “I hope you don’t mind the couch,” I say softly.

  He leans over to me. “I don’t mind.” He kisses my cheek.

  I bite my lip to hold back my joy from his lips. When I look at his eyes, I see them sparkle. I don’t know what comes over me, but I kiss him.

  I kiss him.

  He moans as I open my mouth. I taste the sweetness of the wine as our tongues dance. He pushes on my lightly, and I follow his lead to lay on my back. Never have I had a man on top of me. I run my hand through his soft hair as he cradles himself between my legs. It’s my turn to moan. Hudson tugs my shirt up, and I freeze. I pull away from his lips.

  “Hudson, stop.” I try to catch my breath.

  “I’m sorry. I got carried away.” He lays his forehead on mine. “Sorry.” He sits up and pulls me with him.

  “It’s okay. I’m just not,” I stop talking. How can I say the words? I’m twenty-four and a virgin.

  “Hey, hey, it’s my fault. I forgot my manners.” He smiles
. He cups my face, and then kisses my forehead. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

  I nod, stand up, and head to my bedroom. When I shut my door, I lay my head on it. I’m such a fool. I’m an adult. A reasonable adult. On the other side of this door is a guy, who likes me, who respects me, and whom I trust.

  I stand there for a minute thinking about what just happened between us. Before I can lose my nerve, I open the door, and go back into the living room. I see Hudson on the couch, without his shirt on. My breath catches when I see his chiseled abs and rock hard chest.

  “Hudson,” I say quietly.

  He opens his eyes and looks at me. “Are you okay?”

  I confidently walk over to him and hold out my hand. He sits up. I softly pull his arm, making him stand up. That’s when I realize that he’s in his boxers. His body is amazing.

  “I’m…I’m not ready for sex, and I know you know that. But this couch is horrible. So, you can come sleep with me. In my bed, I mean.”

  “Ellie?”

  “Don’t forget your manners.” I turn, and we head to my bedroom.

  Chapter Eleven

  Hudson

  It’s so quiet in Ellie’s bedroom that the only noise we hear is each other’s shallow breathing. Part of me feels like a letdown teenager, and the other part feels terrible for that and most importantly, for almost going further when Ellie isn’t comfortable with that. It’s so frustrating, but then again, that’s just a sex-starved Hudson’s way of thinking. It doesn’t matter if she’s going to drive me to my death with this, because I honestly don’t mind.

  “Hudson?” Ellie whispers, dragging me away from my thoughts. We’re both laying on our backs, so I just turn my head as she does the same. “I meant to ask about the nickname your sister calls you by. Hudsy.” There’s a soft glow in the room seeping through the curtains because of the brightness of the moon, which allows me to see her smile.

  “Ugh. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that.”