Disturbed (Disturbed #1)

by Ashley Beale

  I can't hear him move but I know he gets closer because I can literally feel his presence. His scent surrounds me just before his hands come around to grip my waist. "Roman," I screech. I try to step away from him but he pulls harder.

  "Stop," he orders harshly. "I need to talk to you."

  "Then talk. Don't touch me." I attempt to pull from him again to no avail.

  I thought I was scared of him before. Now I'm fucking petrified.

  "All those men in there talking to you."

  I stop any attempt of pulling away from him. My body freezes. He was watching me? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

  He continues when I don't open my mouth.

  "Those are the men I hired you for."

  Vomit starts to rise in my throat. "What does that mean exactly?"

  "I hired you to protect you." His lips come close to my ear. Too close. The warmth of his breath when he speaks again sends shivers down my spine. "And I'll do anything to make sure you stay safe, Liv. You don't see it yet, but you will."

  He lets go of me, ending the vague conversation. Once again I have more questions when he decides to forfeit saying any more. I stand my ground though. If my safety is threatened in any way, I have the right to know about it.

  Spinning around, I face him to show just how angry I am with his vague ways. "If I'm in danger, tell me. If I'm not, leave me alone unless it’s work related. I'm sick of this game of yours."

  "Trust me when I say that it’s not a game."

  "How can I trust you? I don't know you, but what I do know pisses me the fuck off and creeps me the hell out."

  "I scare you? Liv." He shakes his head. "I can be a monster but only to rid the true beasts of the world. There is so much you don't understand. I couldn't begin explaining it to you."

  "Try."

  Roman continues to look at me. I can tell he is conflicted about telling me the truth.

  "I can handle it," I add.

  He shakes his head at me. "That is half the reason I can't tell you. You'll think you can, but you can't, Liv. I have it under control. Just... just keep a distance from people."

  "Including you?"

  "Unquestionably me."

  When Blaise didn't answer the phone last night, I immediately tried for Clarissa. I told her about the entire night, starting off with the good things and slowly making my way towards the two stressful conversations with Roman. The conversations I cannot figure out. The ones I'm not sure I want to figure out.

  The bed this morning dips down, waking me from the sleep I so desperately fought for all night. I peek open an eye to discover Clarissa in a barely there summer dress with her barely there bikini poking out from the underneath. "Ugh," I had groaned. "Go away."

  It didn't work though. She got me out of bed, into my bathing suit, and out the door.

  Now we're currently driving to Lake Pleasant just outside of Phoenix. Clarissa says she has a surprise for me. One that requires a large iced coffee apparently, because there was one waiting for me in the car that I was told to drink. Maybe she assumed I'd feel like shit today from the way my night ended last night.

  The perplex conversation I had with Roman last night ended when he told me I needed to keep a distance. I grabbed my purse from the grand room, said goodbye to the people I saw while walking out, then left. I cried halfway home before calling Blaise. When he didn't answer, I almost started crying harder. That is when I called Clarissa, half sobbing from my emotions. She managed to her work magic, as always, by perking me up.

  We arrive to one of the smaller beaches along the lake coast. This area is less for boating and more for exploring or swimming, unlike the majority of the massive lake. "Leave everything in the car," she tells me.

  I show her my phone and she tells me even that. I sigh and place it in the glove box. She rolls down the window enough to keep the car from overheating on the inside and grabs only her keys. Before closing the door, we both strip from our clothes, only wearing our bikinis down to the beach.

  We walk straight to the kayak shack. She didn't tell me we were renting kayaks but I had an assumption when she said not to bring anything. We've been up here quite a few times before, but the only times we've rented kayaks was once with her parents. It's similar to a private oasis when you kayak through the coves, especially on a gorgeous day like this.

  The shining sun lightly brands our shoulders as we make our way around some of the cliffs surrounding the shoreline. It certainly feels nice once we start going through the coves, getting into the shadow to cool us off. I watch as a school of fish swim past me, reminding me we're not as alone as we feel. When I reach down into the water, they scatter off under the boat.

  The water is nice and warm though. "I want to swim," I yell to Clarissa.

  She peeks over from in the kayak in front of me. "Hold on, I have another plan."

  Of course she does. It wouldn't be Clarissa if not.

  We round the corner to a more secluded beach. Less than a dozen people are sprawled out on the sanded area. Clarissa paddles to the shore and I follow behind her. Once the kayaks hit sand, we both climb out and pull them higher onto the beach to keep them secure.

  My body is craving a swim in the luxurious water. I head straight for it but Clarissa stops me. "Wait."

  "What?" I turn to face her.

  She waves her hand for me to follow her and walks away without a word. There really isn't anywhere else to go- just cliffs and field. It isn't a public beach like the one we parked at.

  I groan once I realize that she is in fact heading towards the cliffs. Especially since I'm in only sandals and a bikini. I catch up as quickly as I possibly can and push at her shoulder. "Seriously?"

  Clarissa grins at me. "Yup."

  "I'm going to die. I just want to swim."

  "Oh, we're swimming."

  I stop mid step. "I'm not jumping off these cliffs. That is a death sentence."

  "Stop overreacting." She continues walking without me. "Hurry up."

  With a groan and a few choice words under my breath, I decide to finish following after Clarissa. She'll end up dragging me by the hair if I don't anyways.

  Once we're both at the top of the closest cliff, Clarissa sits on the edge, dangling her feet below. Although I'm scared of heights, I breathe through my anxiety to join her. The first thing I do is look down at the water below. We're definitely higher up than I realized we'd be.

  "How high do you think we are?" I ask.

  "Forty feet maybe."

  All of a sudden the distance between the water and myself is much further apart. "What are we doing up here?" We're obviously doing more than jumping or we would be standing up right now.

  Clarissa looks out over the water, watching some boats sail, others pulling people behind on tubes. A couple jet skis pass by shortly after. She still doesn't speak. I watch below at all the activity as well, waiting on her. Something is obviously bothering her.

  "In case things do change between us," she turns to look at me, "I wanted at least one more last memory that we'd cherish forever."

  "I cherish all our memories," I reassure her.

  "I know. Me too. Still." She pauses to look back over the lake. "I'm just going to miss you."

  We've definitely both been stressing about this way too much. I feel like I'm losing my sister, not my best friend, even if it’s still not much of a distance between us. In reality, we could see each other the same amount we do now, I just know it won't end up happening.

  "Then let’s make it memorable, not sad. Let’s do something entertaining."

  I stand up and strip my sandals from my feet. Grabbing them in my hands, I look at the surroundings below me. Nothing seems to be in my way. I could live the rest of my life without doing something so thrilling but for Clarissa, I'll certainly do anything.

  Clarissa starts to stand but I don't wait for her. With my adrenaline pumping, I take several steps back before running straight off the cliff.

  The cool b
reeze feels good on my heated skin as I quickly descend. I close my eyes seconds before my body rips through the water, enveloping me. My body pushes itself back up before I'm even close to touching bottom. Just as I come up, inhaling a large breath of fresh air, a large splash hits me. I watch as Clarissa disappears under the water quickly before also making her way back up.

  We both start laughing when she catches her breath. "That was..."

  "Thrilling," she finishes my words.

  "Exactly."

  We both take the opportunity to swim around, this time exploring the coves a little without the help of the kayaks. Once our bodies become a bit exhausted, the two of us make our way onto the sanded area. We both lay out, sans the towel, risking sand getting in our bikini zones. It’s a perfect day and location to absorb some sun, especially with no phones around.

  I needed a day away from everyone but my best friend.

  A half hour of nothing but sunshine and happiness, Clarissa speaks up. "How are things with Blaise?"

  I peak over at her with only one eye open. "Things are great."

  "Why did he stop in yesterday?"

  I knew eventually she'd ask about that. "He was worried. I hadn't been texting him back and didn't call when I said I would. He just wanted to check in to make sure everything was alright."

  "He couldn't just call?"

  "Guess not." I turn my head away, closing my eyes again as the sun radiates down on me.

  There is a slight pause when she whispers. "I don't like him."

  "You don't even know him," I snap.

  "No. You don't even know him."

  "What?" I sit up fast and look down at her. "Really, Clarissa? There is a lot to learn, but I've learned what I need to know for me to fall in love with him."

  She sits up and faces me as well, giving me her full attention along with a look of... disgust. "That's disturbing. You truly think you love someone you met last week?"

  "It’s not exactly orthodox but don't make me out to be an idiot. I know what I'm talking about. I've never felt this away about someone before, especially so fast. He loves me, too."

  I bring my legs up and wrap my arms around them, resting my head on my knees. When Clarissa doesn't say anything to me, panic settles in. She has never hated a boyfriend of mine. I've only ever heard that I can do better after a breakup, not during a relationship, one that makes me so happy. When I realize that she truly doesn't like him, I know there is something more to the story. "What do you know?" I whisper.

  Clarissa shakes her head. "I don't know anything. I've heard a lot though. And what I've heard, Liv, it isn't good."

  "What?"

  She stares at me with a nervous gleam in her eyes. "What?" I snap again. The more she looks at me, the more nervous I become. "You need to tell me. You brought this all up for a reason, so tell me." I grind my teeth with frustration while I wait for her to finally admit what’s been bothering her this week.

  "He is involved with drugs, Liv."

  I roll my eyes. "Oh big deal, we've smoked more joints that I can count."

  "No." She shakes her head. Her voice becomes weaker. "Cocaine. Heroine. The big stuff. The stuff that kills people. That ruins families. That'll put him away for years, and you too if you're with him when he gets caught."

  "Really?" I snap. "I can't believe you. You really do think I'm an idiot. This is how you wanted to spend our last day together? You accusing my boyfriend of being a mule! What is it exactly that you're accusing me of?"

  A tear falls from Clarissa's eye and although I feel bad that she is only trying to be a friend, I'm still pissed she'd just blurt out that he was such a bad guy. I know where he works and what kind of money he makes, he has no reason in the world to be dealing drugs too. Even if he were that dumb to do be dealing, it’s obvious it’s not when I'm around. I'm smart enough to see the signs.

  I stand up and walk towards the kayaks. "I'll meet you at your car. I just need my phone and I can get a ride home." I push my kayak into the water before I climb in. I don't even glimpse at Clarissa because I simply can't. I'm so angry right now, and I want to be angry. I deserve to be angry. I wouldn't accuse any of her boyfriends of anything without knowing the facts, and I wouldn't make her feel guilty for being in love with someone, no matter how long she's known them.

  I'm not standing at Clarissa's car more than five minutes when she comes walking up to it. Without looking in my direction, she unlocks her car and slides into the driver seat. I open the door to reach into the glove box and she snaps at me, again without even looking. "Just get in the fucking car. I'll drive you home."

  I stare at her for several seconds before I just take the seat in the passenger seat. The tension between us makes the ride home extremely awkward. I want to apologize for snapping but the stubborn girl inside me says that Clarissa needs to apologize first.

  Minutes before we arrive to my house, I attempt to cool off a little bit of the tension. After all, who knows when we'll be hanging out again. "Thanks for bringing me with you. I had fun kayaking."

  I watch as she holds back the smile. She doesn't say anything until I open the door to the car to get out. "I did too."

  I close the door and hold back my own tears. We've never had an argument with each other, not even a small one like that. I feel like I really did just lose my best friend, over something so petty like a guy. The only thing that'll make me okay right now is a pint of ice cream, a hot bubble bath, and to shed some tears.

  I can't figure out if the next three weeks are torture or a blessing.

  In one corner is the fact that everything between Blaise and I has been nothing short of amazing. The countless dates, the passionate love making, the sweet gestures he does and the things he buys for me. I'm in a euphoric state of mind that I never want to shake from.

  He has come over to hang out with dad and watch some football. I got to meet his uncle one day when he was asked to hay the field he brought me to once. Last Thursday he purchased me a gold necklace with an open heart pendant for our one month. We're with each other every chance we get, mostly at his place since I now reside in a dorm.

  In the other corner is that Clarissa and I have said barely more than ten words to each other. We've both attempted a conversation that ended before it even actually started. I know that she is doing well in school and has found a part time job. She knows both school and work are going great, and I'm sure she assumes I'm happy with Blaise.

  I hate that things between us are still rough, but I've made my attempts. There really is not much more I can do for her. For us.

  Work has gotten better, that much is for sure, but it’s still stressful. Thankfully I've had a chance to cut back my hours due to school and homework, so I have less people to deal with over the phones. I've made some sales, and I made Roman's quota for the first thirty days.

  That is practically the only time we've spoken since his business meeting that was anything but. Every time we have spoken, it’s been strictly about work. It doesn't mean that I don't see the looks he gives me or feel his eyes burning in the back of my head when I walk past his door.

  I've tried making friends with Stephanie and this other girl at work, Fiona, but everyone is older and seem to be on the snobby side of the scale. At school I've managed to make a few acquaintances but I haven't exactly had time to make any good friends with how busy my schedule has been.

  Plus, I hate the thought of me replacing Clarissa. Not that I'd be replacing her, but I'd definitely feel that way if I started hanging out with someone too often.

  Getting out of school today, I have to go straight into work. It’s the one thing I hate about Tuesdays. Straight from school to work then homework thereafter. It’s the one day I never see much of Blaise, if at all. I had asked him earlier if he wanted to stay in my dorm tonight, that way once I'm done with homework we could watch a movie, but he had mentioned he, too, had to work late.

  Walking into the lobby, Stephanie stands with a look of panic. "What
are you doing here?"

  I pause and look down at my phone to see that it is in fact Tuesday. "I work until seven."

  "Right, but you're earlier than normal." She is acting unusually bizarre. I don't understand what is wrong with me being here a whole twenty minutes early.

  "Class got out early and traffic wasn't bad." I shrug my shoulders before walking towards the elevator. "I won't clock in until its time if that is going to be an issue."

  She bites down on her lip and glimpses at her phone. "Um. No. It's fine. Go ahead and clock in." She doesn't glance back at me until she is in her seat and picking up the phone to call someone. Now I'm kind of... nervous.

  Regardless I make my way up in the elevator to the third floor.

  Roman is standing there when I get off the elevator. He is the complete opposite to Stephanie; cool, calm, casual.

  "Afternoon," I say as I attempt to walk past him.

  "Wait." He grabs onto my arm.

  I roll my eyes at him with a puff of the breath. "What is going on?"

  "I need to speak to you." He pushes the button on the wall behind me.

  "And it requires us to leave?"

  He stares down at me intently, a warning in his beastly eyes not to argue with him. "We're just going down to level two. There is a meeting going on up here."

  "That you don't have to attend?" I fire back.

  The door opens and he steps forward, causing me to step back. Then again. Then once more. This time I'm in the elevator, so I continue backwards until my back hits the wall.

  "Liv." His voice is deep, echoing inside the enclosed space. I look to him but don't say a word. I never like to when the intensity between us becomes this thick. "Trust me."

  "You told me not to."

  The door opens up but he doesn't move. His jaw tightens as he holds in his anger. About time he is the one angry and not me. "I told you to keep your distance. I never said you couldn't trust me."

  I point to the door behind him as it slides back closed. "We missed our floor."

  He reaches over and hits the stop button. The elevator makes this loud humming as we're trapped inside. My breathing immediately increases as anxiety starts to settle in. Roman takes a step forward, trapping me into the corner. Tears threaten in my eyes. I'm truly terrified right now and there is not a thing I can do about it.