Just A Woman (The Porter Trilogy Book 2)

by Youngblood, Shannon

  She was glowing, twirling around the dance floor. I couldn’t see who she was with, but I knew in my heart it was me. It was my fantasy, for God’s sake, of course it was me. The area around Charlotte was blurry and my focus, both in dream state and my dream apparition, only had eyes for her. I’d never seen her look so beautiful in my life as she did in this dream. I never wanted to wake up.

  All too soon though, Bracks woke me from the front as we exited the freeway, a few miles from her house. My head was pounding as my blood pumped through my veins to the beat of a thousand drums. Clearly, I was going to be suffering a hangover after only an hour of light sleep.

  When we pulled up to her apartment, her light was on. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. In a flash, before I had taken a step, she showed up at the front door, throwing it open and launching herself into my arms. My heart immediately felt lighter. Maybe this wouldn’t be too awkward.

  She didn’t say anything and neither did I. I just held her as she cried into my chest. After a few moments, I could feel her start to crumble, so I swept her up into my arms, hers gently circling around my neck, and carried her back into the house, where a scowling Danny was waiting.

  Before Danny could say something, Charlotte lifted her head. “Please don’t, Danny, I can’t take you two fighting right now,” she said through her tears. She obviously knew Danny would try to instigate something and I was grateful she shut it down. Between the hangover and the shit hitting the fan with her mother, I couldn’t be held responsible for what I would say to him.

  Nodding his head at Charlotte, he gave me a scathing look before walking over to a chair in front of the couch and sat down, waiting for me to sit on the couch.

  Much to his disappointment, I headed into her bedroom instead, and deposited her on the bed, cradling her next to me, chest to chest.

  “Did you pack a bag, Charlotte?” I whispered into her ear, petting her soft hair.

  “No, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it,” she sobbed back.

  “That’s alright. I’ll take care of it. Are you ready to go then? My plane should be gassed and ready to fly to Newark.”

  She nodded her head at me and looked up. Her makeup was badly smudged and she had black tear streaks down her cheeks. Her lipstick, although mostly removed from our previous lovemaking, was stained on the outside of her lips. Getting up from her, I headed into her bathroom, grabbed a soft washcloth, and ran it under some warm water. Once I made it back to the bed, I found her sitting up, staring at me.

  When I leaned in to start cleaning her face, she tried to take the washcloth from me, but I wouldn’t let her. I needed to do this. I needed to do something for her that didn’t require money. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t just Mr. Moneybags, and that I could help her even when money wasn’t required. I wanted to help her more than anything.

  Relenting, she finally sat back against her headboard and let me administer her cleaning. Very softly, I cleaned the black marks from her face and from around her eyes. She had looked beautiful done up with her makeup, but this was how I loved to look at her. Natural. Beautiful. I watched as she closed her eyes and enjoyed my ministrations.

  When I finished, I carried the cloth back into her bathroom and rinsed it out. I grabbed her toothbrush and her hairbrush along with her makeup bag and put them into a small bag I found in her drawers.

  “I’ve got the essentials, Charlotte,” I announced. “We are ready to go.”

  When she didn’t stir, my fear built back up, overriding my common sense, but I stamped it back down. She had only fallen asleep. I walked over to the bed and picked her up, keeping the bag securely in one hand and headed for the living room. Danny wasn’t there, so I presumed he had gone to bed. With my hands full, and not wanting to disturb Charlotte, I maneuvered around enough to grab her purse and open the front door, lock it, and close it without jostling her awake.

  Bracks opened the door to the backseat, and I deposited her in, following right behind her. I knew I should have woken her up to put on a seatbelt, but she looked so peaceful, I couldn't bare to wake her. So instead, I spread her out on the seat, and rested her head in my lap. Closing my eyes, I attempted to nap a few minutes as well, until I heard the most beautiful thing, pulling me from unconsciousness.

  “I love you, Alex,” Charlotte murmured in her sleep.

  Chapter 23

  Daydreamer Musings

  August 15, 2015

  Followers-763

  I think today is still the fifteenth, yeah, that’s gotta be right. I’m groggy. I’ve just woken up, after a lot of crying and a lot of emotions coursing through me. I know I just posted something for you all a few hours ago, but there have been some updates since then and I feel the intense need to write everything down. Currently, I am at a cruising altitude of thirty thousand feet. Yes, I’m on a plane. I guess I can kind of see why I keep getting more people following me. My life is like a Friday night soap.

  Not only am I on a plane, I am on a plane with Alex. Oh, and one more thing, it’s Alex’s plane. Why am I on a plane you ask? Well, once I finally pulled myself together enough to make it home, I received a call from a police officer in New Jersey. My mom, oh God, my poor mom had been mugged. The police officers assured me she was alive and they would do anything they could to find out who did it, but it seemed to them like just another robbery attempt and my mom might have fought back. (Go MOM!)

  I’m, of course, not so sure about that. I mean, maybe I’m being irrational to think that Robert is still out there trying to get to me, and he’d stoop so low as to seek out my mom to try and get to me, but I can't help but feel this pit of despair sitting heavily on my chest. If it was really him who did this to her or paid someone to do it, I don’t know how I could live with myself.

  My mom means the world to me, and I’ll feel guilty until the day I die for what happened to her if this is my fault. After the incident in New York, I should have gone straight to the police and told them what happened. They could have attempted to track him down and lock him away again, but I was so heartbroken, I couldn’t even contemplate doing anything. And besides, I didn’t want to get Bracks or Alex into any trouble either, even though, again, it wasn’t their fault, it was mine.

  So, now, I’m on a plane to New Jersey to see my mom and make sure she is ok. I’m her last living kin, since she was an only child and her parents died somewhat young. Anything that happens to her has to go through me if she is incapable of making her own decisions. But that’s worst case scenario. Like I said earlier, the police told me multiple times that she was beat up, but she was alive.

  If anyone is wondering, no, I didn’t ask Alex for a private jet to New Jersey. I had planned on booking my own flight. Danny was looking it up for me, but I had to call him. I needed to hear his voice telling me everything was going to be ok. When he offered, I wasn’t surprised, being as he is a billionaire and all, but that’s just Alex. He has a lot of money and isn’t afraid to spend it. Normally, I might have been put off that he offered to whip out his money to do something for me, but I think in this case, I don’t mind. I gotta get to my mom and this is the fastest.

  But I gotta tell you all what happened at my house. It proved to me just how much Alex really does love and care about me, no matter if he keeps secrets from me and won’t tell me things.

  Picture this. I was a blubbering mess, I could feel the thick mascara dripping down my face as I sobbed into his chest. My lips were still plump from our evening in the hotel and from crying. Alex carried me into my room and plopped me on the bed and proceeded to cradle me in his arms and stroke my hair. It was comforting in a way I’ve never known comfort.

  But that wasn’t it. He then proceeded to fetch a warm wash cloth and wipe my face of not only the blemishes of makeup, but also the rest of my face. When he looked at me, after I was cleaned up, the light that shone in his eyes was mesmerizing. He looked in love. He looked how I felt (minus what’s going on with my mother). I kn
ew right there I needed to make it work. We had to figure something out. Some way to communicate.

  I am going to take control of my life back and find a way to be with Alex, after we have had a good sit down and after we dealt with my poor mom. I didn’t tell him any of this, of course, I had fallen asleep when he went back to my bathroom to rinse out the washcloth.

  And now, here I sit, on a luxury couch, on a private plane. I don’t even remember getting here. Alex must have carried me from my house into the car and then from the car to the plane. I don’t even know how long I have been asleep or how long we have till we get across the country. I know it’s normally around 6 hours, but all of the shades are closed and I don’t know if it’s daylight out or still dark.

  I wish I could snap a photo of Alex for you right now, guys. He is sitting up, but fast asleep. He looks so adorable and innocent wearing a t shirt and jeans (which I’ve never seen him in). If anyone looked now, they would think he was just a regular guy, not a billionaire hot head with a habit for not telling the truth.

  I’ll admit it though, I’m scared shitless. What if he can’t be what I need him to be? What if he never opens up to me and tells me what he is thinking? I know I’m not supposed to change the person I love, and I am supposed to just take him as he is, but the withholding thing is kind of a deal breaker for me.

  There is so much going on in my life, so many new adventures happening in the near future, and I need him by my side. I need to know he can step up and be the man I need him to be. How do I tell him? How do I just tell him what’s going on in my head? What if he leaves me?

  No, I can’t think like that. I don’t think he’ll leave. I think it’s going to be an adjustment period for both of us, and if he can’t hack it and he can’t give me even a little of what I need, then yes, I will walk away. I will be strong enough to walk away. But, I don’t want to. More than anything, I don’t want to walk away from this.

  I’m rambling. But, I only really do that when I’m scared, and right now, I’m scared. Really scared. But I can’t focus on this right now, I know. I need to focus on my mom and making sure she’s ok. I need to call Rachel and tell her I won’t be to work on Monday, although I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Alex already has.

  Thank you all for your comforting words and sending love my way. I didn’t think I would ever truly enjoy blogging, but I really do. It’s a release I didn’t know I needed. It’s a great way for me to cope. Once again, thanks for following and welcome to all of the new people who are following along with me. I’ll keep you up to scratch with how my mom is, and of course with the developments of Alex and me. Love you all!

  Chapter 24

  Alex

  I needed ibuprofen, and I needed it bad. Pressing my own call button for the flight attendant, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back up against the seat. After we had boarded the plane, I settled Charlotte on the nearest couch and buckled her in the best I could. I almost couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to plop down into one of the plane’s oversized Captain’s chairs and fasten myself in. Before I knew it, I was joining Charlotte in the land of dreams.

  Unfortunately, I had never been one to be able to sleep much while moving, whether it was by car, plane, or train, so my nap only lasted about two hours. When I first opened my eyes, I immediately looked at the couch for Charlotte. She was still there, still sleeping. I don’t know why I thought she would be gone. We were thousands of miles up from the ground. I just needed the verification.

  I smiled, remembering the last few words she had spoken while asleep in my lap. I knew she loved me. It wasn’t the first time I had heard it, but it was the first time since we had gotten back together. Her words had made my chest tighten. Not in a bad, uncomfortable way, but in a good, satisfying kind of way. Had I been the crying kind, I might have shed a few tears.

  Lifting my head from the chair, I peeked back over to her. She hadn’t moved an inch since I glanced at her when I had awoken. I wasn’t even sure if she had woken up while I was sleeping. She looked peaceful. Her red hair fell in curls around her, framing her face. Her features were almost angelic as she lay there, oblivious to the problems of the world. I envied her in some regard. My problems followed me into my sleep, plaguing me day and night. I knew, when she awoke, the problems would flood back into her consciousness, but for now, she looked content.

  After the flight attendant came and I requested some water and medication for my hangover, I thought back on the last few hours. I was shocked and more than a little excited that, even under the current circumstances, Charlotte had reached out to me in her time of need. No, she hadn’t asked me for the plane, and I don’t think she would have, given the opportunity, but she called me because she needed something. She needed me.

  Pulling out my phone and connecting the on board Wi-Fi, I checked out her blog page. She’d written three entries since I had read her last one. Flipping through, I saw one for last night. Smiling, I read about her watching me with the twelfth rose. A lightbulb gleamed over my head. When my head had cleared from my vision of the future and she had been typing away on her phone, she had been posting this status update. The thought brought another smile to my face.

  The next entry, on the other hand, wiped the grin from my face quite effectively. She had pulled over to the side of the road to write it. The thought of her sitting on the side of a busy freeway to write a post, both terrified and enraged me. What if someone had not seen her and hit her car, or what if some creeper decided to stop and “help” her out? How could she be so reckless? If she had been too emotional to drive, I would have let her have the room and I could have left, or I could have had Bracks drive her home.

  On second thought, I knew Charlotte. She could be as stubborn as I was. And remembering back to the fight we had, she was too angry to even think about it. I couldn’t necessarily fault her, but I was still pretty angry with her. Her safety was too important for her to jeopardize.

  The most recent post had been only a little under an hour ago. Minutes before I had woken up. She was scared for her mom, which was understandable. I was scared for her mom. Although I had never met the woman, she seemed to be the glue that held Charlotte together at times. I respected her a great deal after some of the stories that Charlotte had recalled to me. Being a single mom is hard. Being a single mom who worked multiple jobs, even though her ex-husband was loaded, in order to give your only daughter anything her heart could want? That had to have been excruciating and made me respect her all the more.

  When I got to the part of her post that referred to me, I had to look away and compose myself for a moment. I didn’t know what she was going to say and I hoped it would be in my favor. She had been so angry at me at the hotel. I was scared that I had left too much damage to fix the fragile relationship that we had.

  When I turned back to my phone and cowardly chanced a peek, I let go of the air in my lungs I hadn’t realized I had been holding in. She wanted to make it work just as much as I did. She had her doubts, which I couldn’t fault her for, but she felt as strongly as I did. We had a bond. An incredibly strong, incredibly scary, and electrifying bond. I had never felt anything like I did when I was with her.

  I had a fucked up childhood and early adulthood. Mentally, I was scared, and damaged, and I wouldn’t blame Charlotte for leaving when she did eventually find out. I didn’t want to tell her. Maybe that was why I was hesitant to tell her anything else, but the bond we had together was fierce, I wanted to fight for it, and it seemed as if she wanted to fight as well. I just needed to let her in. Easier said than done.

  Closing my phone and placing it back in my pocket, I reclined my seat back as far as it could go and lifted the footrest, thanking my lucky stars for the luxury of flying in a private plane. My headache was slowly starting to subside, but another few hours of sleep would make a world of difference.

  **********

  “Mr. Porter?” A gentle voice shook me awake. Looking up, I saw the curvy b
runette flight attendant shaking me awake. “We’re landing in a few moments,” she said, standing up and heading back toward the cockpit.

  I stretched awake and sighed, thankfully, noticing my headache was completely gone. Rubbing my eyes, I took in my surroundings. Looking down at my watch, I saw that I had slept for three additional hours. When I was a child, I spent little time sleeping which has resulted in me not needing as much sleep as a normal adult. The three hours, combined with the two hours previously, was enough to restore me to full health. I knew I should let Charlotte sleep for as long as possible, even going so far as to leave the plane taxying for a few more hours, but I knew how much she wanted to see her mom, and would forgo sleep had she been on her own.

  Unbuckling my seatbelt, I made my way over to her. Before I woke her, I placed a feather light kiss on her forehead. I needed this one moment before the crazy of the coming day interrupted our time. The spark shooting through my lips confirmed the electricity between us, and she must have felt it, even in dream sleep, as I watched her eyes drift open.

  It didn’t escape my notice the serene look that graced her features. With her eyes still closed, she smiled at me, stretching her arms above her head, the world, her oyster, and everything as it should be, the moment in between sleep and awake, where everything is possible and nothing is wrong with the world.

  The pain in my chest grew for her as realization dawned behind her eyes. Slowly, the memory of where she was and where we were headed crashed down on top of her, sapping the spark from her eyes as quickly as it had formed. Sitting down on the couch next to her, I wanted to reach out, but resisted the urge. I didn’t know how she would respond and right now, I wouldn’t be able to take rejection lightly.