Denial (Careless Whispers #1)

by Lisa Renee Jones

  Gallo stirs thoughts of him that I shove aside. Kayden is nothing like that man. “Before you go on, Detective Gallo,” I say, “you’ve made it evident that you have a personal bone to pick with Kayden, and it’s hard to feel protected when that’s your motivation. You can’t tell me you’d be sitting outside a house at three in the morning if Kayden wasn’t involved.”

  He leans his elbows on his knees, even closer now than before. “People who become intimately involved in his life die. I get chills just being in this place.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He didn’t tell you what happened here?”

  Dread fills me. “What happened?”

  “Five years ago, the prior owner of the castle—”

  “Kevin.”

  “Yes. Kevin, and Kayden’s fiancée, Elizabeth, who was living here, were both slaughtered. Kayden was conveniently gone.”

  I am gutted by the news, understanding Kayden better now than ever, and I’m also angered on his behalf, lashing out in response. “Convenient? Are you accusing him of actually hurting the people he loved?”

  “People die when he’s around. That is a fact. Two years ago—”

  “I know what happened two years ago. You act like he was the cause.”

  “The Underground. Do you know them?”

  “He told me about them.”

  “Tell me what you know.”

  “They find things for people for a price.”

  “And do you think what they do is legal?”

  I shrug. “He did work for the police.”

  “Kayden is the kingpin of a massive, dangerous organization. He makes the decisions. He leads them to hell, and if you think he doesn’t do what he has to do to keep his slate clean, you’re going to end up dead like the rest of them. I’m trying to protect you.” He softens his voice. “Please listen to me, Eleana. I am truly trying to protect you.”

  “No, you’re trying to turn me against him.” I stand. “I think you need to leave.”

  “Yes. You need to leave,” Kayden says.

  At the sound of Kayden’s voice Gallo grimaces, and I’m relieved this meeting is over. Gallo turns and Kayden’s stare is pure contempt. Gallo doesn’t cower. “I am helping Eleana find her way back to her life—not yours.”

  “Leave, Gallo.”

  Gallo’s lips twist sardonically. “I’m not quite done here.”

  “Leave,” Kayden bites out. “Now.”

  Gallo glances at me. “How should I reach you to give you the fingerprint results?”

  “Kayden,” I say, making it quite clear which side of the line drawn between these two I stand on. “Call Kayden.”

  He smirks. “I’ll just come back by.” He turns and rounds the table to stand face-to-face with Kayden.

  “Move along,” Kayden instructs. “You’re on private property and I’m fully within my rights to throw you out. Actually, make my day and give me a reason to toss you out the door myself.”

  I hold my breath, aware Gallo would like to push Kayden, and the heavy seconds that follow are eternal. Finally the detective saunters toward the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “You know where to find me, Eleana,” he states firmly, and leaves.

  Adriel moves in behind him, locking the door while Kayden closes the distance between us, his fingers clasping my wrist. Without a word, he begins leading me toward the back exit. I hurry to keep up as we pass Giada; I don’t look at her and neither does Kayden. He’s angry. So very angry, and not just at Gallo. We reach the door and he punches in a code to exit, and it’s barely lifted before he’s ducking under and taking me with him. He doesn’t wait for it to close, leading me several feet, and out of hearing range of Adriel or Giada, before turning me to face him, his hands settling on his hips.

  “What part of ‘I don’t want you in the store’ did you not understand?”

  My defenses prickle. “You didn’t say not to come to the store. You said you didn’t want me to work here.”

  “Semantics.”

  “No. You specifically said you didn’t want me to work here. That’s a different thing than telling me you don’t want me here. This is your house, and you’ve taken care of me. I would have respected your request if you had made it. And I only came because Marabella asked me to try and bond with Giada.”

  “Marabella,” he repeats flatly.

  “Yes, and please don’t be mad at her. She cares for you and Giada deeply. It would hurt her to feel she caused this today.”

  “What did you tell Gallo?”

  “I told him I only remembered my first name, and made sure he fingerprinted me. That’s what you wanted, right?”

  “What did he say to you?”

  “He told me The Underground is dangerous and so are you.”

  “We are. What else?”

  I know he has the right to know the rest, but I can’t seem to speak the words.

  “Ella—”

  “He stole your right to tell me something in your own time.”

  He stares at me, silent. Intense. His hand runs through his hair, and that hawk that establishes him as a protector flashes. “He told you about five years ago.”

  “Yes. About Kevin and …”

  “Elizabeth.” Her name is sandpaper on his throat, pain ripped straight from his heart.

  “Yes.”

  His jaw clenches. Seconds tick by. “It’s time Gallo and I have a heart-to-heart.” He turns and is through the door to the store before I know he’s moved.

  “Kayden!” I shout, running after him. “Kayden!” I enter the store and he’s already at the front door, exiting to the street, with no coat and no explanation.

  “Adriel!” I shout. He rushes out of his office. “He went after Gallo for telling me about Elizabeth.”

  “Fuck!” Adriel is already rounding the counter. “Stay here and lock the door.” He grabs a coat from a rack and disappears out the door.

  I hurry forward and lock it. Sinking against the wooden surface door, I suck in air, my heart hammering against my chest. This is bad. I grab my phone from my pocket and dial Kayden, willing him to answer, but it rings and rings and then goes to voice mail. I walk to the sofa and sit down, trying again. And again. I press the phone to my forehead and shut my eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him. No. I had to tell him.

  “You okay?” Giada’s standing in front of me with two steaming cups in her hand. “Hot chocolate. I thought you could use some.”

  I set the phone on the table to accept the mug. “Thank you.”

  “Of course.” She sits down next to me. “So. Are you okay?”

  I turn to face her. “Kind of. Thank you. What about you? You had a rough night.”

  “I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago, over Adriel harassing him. I tried to drink away my heartache. It didn’t work.”

  “It usually doesn’t,” I say, sipping the hot beverage.

  “You sound like you speak from experience.”

  I smile. “Well, I do have amnesia, so I’m not really an authority on my past right now.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry. That must really suck.”

  I shrug. “My memories are slowly coming back, and I also seem to just know some things. Like I’ve tried to drink away a man before, and failed.”

  She curls her legs to her side to face me, and I do the same with her. “What’s up with you and Kayden?”

  “Still up for debate. I saw you last night on the monitor screaming at him.”

  Her eyes drop sharply to her cup. “Yes. I guess I did.”

  “What did you scream at him?”

  Her gaze shoots to mine. “Mean things. Horrible things, Ella. My father was working for him when he died.”

  “I know.”

  “Kayden told you.”

  “Yes.”

  She hesitates. “What did he say?”

  “Not a lot, but he hurts, too. Badly.”

  Her throat bobs with a hard swallow. “My fa
ther worked for Kevin before Kayden. They were all close, but I didn’t meet Kayden until after it happened.”

  “You moved here after your father died?”

  “Yes. Kayden wanted us here where we’d be safe. I guess he had new security installed after …”

  “Five years ago,” I say. “I know.” And I suddenly have a renewed need to hear Kayden’s voice. I set my cup down and pick up the phone, and dial his number. Ring. Ring. Ring. Voice mail. “Damn it,” I whisper.

  Giada sets her cup down as well. “What’s up with him and Gallo?”

  “Gallo blames him for something in his past, like you do.”

  “I don’t blame Kayden.” She purses her lips. “Okay, maybe last night I did. I was drinking and hurting.”

  “I meant what I said. He’s hurting too. You have to know that—right?”

  “He’s hard to know.”

  “Because he carries the burden of so much loss that he can’t let anyone in.” I face her, hesitating to share Kayden’s past, but gamble that dropping a tidbit of his past is okay. “Do you know about his family?”

  “He never talks about them.”

  “He lost them when he was ten. That’s when Kevin adopted him.”

  “Oh, my God. What happened to them?”

  “It’s not my place to share that story, and please don’t mention that I told you at all. But I’ll try to get Kayden to tell you.” An image forms in my mind of a pretty redheaded woman who is smiling at me, and my chest expands painfully. My mother. She’s gone, and it hurts so much. I will away the tears threatening to form, my voice hoarse as I continue. “I think Kayden can relate to your loss more than you realize.” And me, I add silently, swallowing hard and forcing myself to look at her. “Instead of blaming him, I think he might be a good person to talk to.”

  “He’s kind of scary.” Her lips curve. “And sexy, which is intimidating.”

  I laugh. “Hmmm. Yes. I can relate.” We both end up smiling and there’s a connection between us. “Where’s your mother?”

  “She died of cancer when I was ten.”

  Cancer. The word slides inside me, and finds an open wound that has my mother’s memory all over it. I know it as familiar and horrible, just like I know sympathy can be painful. So I don’t offer it. “Tell me about her.”

  She starts talking and we both end up lying down on the couch, while I clutch the phone and will it to ring. Better yet, I just want Kayden to walk through the door.

  Loud knocking on the street door wakes us up, both of us jolting to a sitting position where we’ve fallen asleep on the couch. The throb in my head is instant. “Oh God,” I murmur, pushing through the dull ache to grab my phone and check it to find no calls.

  “Good grief,” Giada mumbles. “Some customers don’t take no for an answer.”

  I stare at the time on my phone in disbelief. “It’s six o’clock. We’ve been asleep for hours!”

  “I feel better,” she says. “I needed the rest Adriel wouldn’t allow me.”

  “And I needed to take pain medication a good hour ago.”

  “You’re hurting?” she asks.

  “Yeah.”

  My phone rings and I see Nathan on the caller ID. “Nathan,” I answer, hoping he can tell me where Kayden and Adriel are. “Is something wrong? Where’s Kayden?”

  “I’ll tell you in a minute. I’m at the door knocking.”

  “I’m at the store.”

  “Right. Adriel said you might be, so that’s where I am. Are you going to let me in?”

  “Yes. Coming now.” I end the call and stand, only to have a dizzy spell hit me that forces me to call on Giada for help. “Get the door, please. It’s my doctor.”

  Giada’s eyes go wide. “Yes. Of course.” She crosses to the door while I’m pathetically forced to sit. When she opens it I’m able to stand again, steadier now.

  Nathan speaks to her in Italian, and I’m fairly certain they know each other. Then he walks in my direction, looking exceedingly handsome and preppy in khakis and a white button-down, along with a tan leather jacket.

  “What’s happening with Kayden and Adriel?” I ask.

  “They’re fine,” he says, shrugging a brown leather bag off his shoulder and motioning for me to sit. I comply and he perches on the edge of the stone table across from me.

  “What does ‘they’re fine’ mean?”

  “Yes,” Giada chimes in, sitting next to me. “What does that mean?”

  “Gallo arrested them.”

  “What?” Giada and I say at the same time.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Yes, why?” Giada echoes.

  Nathan sets his bag on the table. “He says they threatened him. Kayden says that’s bullshit and I believe him. He’s too smart for that.”

  “We have to go get them,” I say, trying to stand.

  His hand clamps down on my arm, holding me in place, the look in his eyes sharp, hard, unlike anything I’ve seen from him before. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the many reasons why that’s a wrong decision. Besides, Kayden is a very rich, powerful man, and his attorney is a beast when he has to be.”

  My stomach knots. “I feel like I brought this on them.”

  “The Underground brought this on them,” Giada says, bitterness lacing her tone. “It’s dangerous, and Kayden is the ringleader.”

  Nathan releases me and cuts a stern look at Giada. “Gallo’s bitterness over something personal brought this on. And ever since your father died, Kayden has been allowing his people to take fewer jobs and doing all the dangerous ones himself. Why do you think you have this store?”

  “Adriel wanted it,” she says. “He didn’t want to work for The Underground anymore.”

  “Right,” Nathan says, clearly meaning “wrong.” Then he focuses a probing look on me. “You’re hurting.”

  “I fell asleep and missed my pill.”

  “Take it now.”

  “I left it in the other tower.”

  His look is pure reprimand. “The medicine has a cumulative effect. I didn’t say four times a day for no reason.” He reaches for his bag. “Good thing I brought some with me.” He digs out a prescription bottle and glances at Giada. “Do you have some water?”

  She nods and hurries away, and Nathan lowers his voice. “It kills me not to tell her that Kayden fired Adriel so he wouldn’t end up dead, but it’s not my place. He wants her to believe Adriel left on his own, to protect her.”

  “So Kayden remains the monster.”

  “Yes. He believes he deserves that title—but I’m hoping like hell you’re the one who’ll ground him. No one else has.”

  “In five years,” I supply.

  He arches a brow. “You know. I’m surprised he told you this soon.”

  “Gallo told me. That’s why Kayden went after him.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. But neither would Kayden taunting Gallo into an arrest in order to be there when he ran your prints.”

  He offers me a pill I take from his hand, and I give him a curious look. “You sure know a lot for someone who isn’t with The Underground.”

  “I’ve become the doctor to The Underground, and a friend to Kayden. I was with him when he found Elizabeth and Kevin.” His expression tightens. “I couldn’t help them. They were already dead.”

  My stomach churns with the certainty that although he and Kayden might have barely known each other before that night, the unlikely pair were deeply bonded from that point forward.

  “Here you go,” Giada says, offering me a bottle of water.

  “Thanks,” I murmur, opening it and sucking down my pill and half of the water. Afterward, Nathan checks all my vitals while Giada hovers. “How’s your memory coming along?” he asks.

  “Improving, but it’s coming back in confusing pieces.”

  “I predict that will continue until a trigger brings it all back.”

  A trigger. Like I am to Kayden. Like he was afraid he’d be to me. I’m
not sure if that’s good or bad for either of us.

  Once he’s repacked his bag, Nathan stands. “You need to rest: that’s the key to everything. Call me if you need anything. Kayden and Adriel should be back before bedtime.”

  I walk him to the door, and he gives my chin a brotherly nudge. “It’s all going to work out.”

  I shut the door and lock it, then Giada sets the alarm. “It’s going to be a long few hours waiting for their return, and I really don’t want Marabella watching over me like a child tonight,” she says. “Can I hang out in your tower with you?”

  “Yes. Sure.” We go out the back entrance, and when we’re in the main foyer and I need to punch in the code, I have the oddest sense of unease. I actually find myself blocking her view as I press the numbers to ensure she can’t see them.

  We enter the tower foyer, and she surprises me by saying, “I’ve never been in this tower,” as we walk up the stairs. Does Kayden not want her here? “Kayden’s a bit of a hermit,” she adds.

  “Interesting. I haven’t thought of him that way.”

  We reach the main floor, and when that odd sense of unease expands in my chest, this time I know I’m not taking her to my room. I motion her to the living area. “The kitchen is this way. We can eat. I’d say we could watch TV, but I won’t understand it.”

  She snorts. “Are you kidding me? Kayden has the place set up with Netflix.”

  We enter the kitchen and I grab a couple of sandwiches from the fridge. “I didn’t know you could get Netflix in Italy.”

  “This is Kayden we’re talking about,” she reminds me. “He’s got a way around everything.”

  Translation: Matteo has Netflix magic in his fingers. Giada gets us bottles of water and we settle at the table to eat, planning a shopping trip together. Later we move to the living room, where she turns on the TV.

  “I’m obsessed with Breaking Bad right now. Do you like it?” she asks.

  “I don’t know it. What’s it about?”

  “Good guy who gets cancer, and starts dealing drugs to take care of his family.”