Keeping You: KJ Elite Inc.

by Kracek, L. K.

  “Come on, boy, off.” Noah’s voice held that tone; the tone that said he was the boss.

  Diesel wasn’t getting the message, not entirely. The dog walked up my legs further but to the side, so he was easing off of my body, though he stayed very close up against me. Still very un-nerving.

  “D-Diesel...” I stuttered. He slid his nose under my shaking hand.

  I made a strangled sound but didn’t pull away. That was beaten into me from very young; don’t move when touched. It disgusted me but it was like the way I answered when someone called my name – automatic. I literally was beaten out of having a fight or flight mode.

  “He likes you. A lot.” Noah said, inching closer to the bed. More for my benefit than Diesel’s.

  “I don’t –” I didn’t know what to say so I just shook my head lightly, swallowing hard.

  “I apologize. We’re in the other room and I told him to go lay. When we’ve stayed here before, we were in this room so he must have been confused.” He explained.

  To think that this dog was smart enough to not only respond, or at least understand Noah, surprised me. The only dog’s I had ever seen or “known” were vicious killers that fed off the blood of others. Or cocaine. The fact that he was smart enough still to open doors on his own, blew my mind.

  “I have to… um, I need to use the restroom.” I really did and I couldn’t hold it much longer, though I hated having to announce it to him.

  “Try this. Tell Diesel, ‘Stand’ or ‘Stay’.”

  I swallowed again and sucked in a breath.

  “Stand.” My voice lacked conviction.

  To my surprise, the dog stood on all fours beside me, holding his position.

  “Good. Thank you.” I said to the dog awkwardly, rolling to get off of the bed. If he expected a neck rub, he was gonna be disappointed.

  “Are you familiar with commands?” Noah asked me, a brow raised, as he held his hand to me and pulled up.

  “Commands?” I asked back.

  “Okay.” He chuckled.

  “You just praised him; motivated him. Those are two of the proper responses to a service dog when they have done the right thing and you want to let him know that.” He explained.

  “Service dog?”

  “Yes. Well, he’s actually a Navy Seal but after we got out, I tweaked his training to be a service dog.” He made a face so I figured it was as good a time as any for my exit.

  “Oh. I was just being polite. Excuse me.”

  I nodded and headed hastily for the bathroom door.

  My face must have looked horrendous as I cringed at the thought of him hearing me go pee.

  Quickly, I handled my business and nearly shrieked when I saw the wicked witch standing before me. Never mind, it was just my reflection. Even better. A small part of me wished I could smash the mirror and never have to look again. I washed my hands quickly, gave a quick brushing of my teeth and tried to finger comb my silky hair.

  The only good thing my biological mother ever did for me was give me easy, manageable, “white girl” hair.

  I was a product of an inter-racial relationship (gone wrong); to my knowledge, the only product. My bio-mom was white and the sad excuse for a sperm-donor was black. My tanned skin tone came from him and everything else from her. A shiver ran up my spine at the thought of him, but I quickly shoved them out of my head. Putting on my face of steely resolve, I walked back out to the bedroom; they were still standing there.

  “Why won’t he move?” I asked, pointing at Diesel.

  “Well, I’m supposed to be the only one the traitor listens to…but, you have to release him.”

  “Release him?” Yet another thing I knew nothing about.

  “It is simple as pie. All you have to do is say, ‘Okay’.”

  “Okay.” I said, meaning to answer Noah but it also worked to “release” Diesel from his standing position.

  Diesel was slow about it, but he came to my side at the foot of the bed.

  “He knows you’re spooked and is providing you comfort. Protection. Therapy, if you will.” Noah explained, patiently.

  “He’s a smart dog. Why doesn’t he know I’m afraid of him, though?” I asked, pointing at his head.

  “I’m sure he does, but his job is protect and provide care or help.”

  “That’s…sweet.” I decided.

  When I took a step forward, he followed me, brushing against my legs.

  I stopped and looked into Noah’s eyes, unsure.

  “There is nothing in this world that can stop him from staying by your side, now. Looks like you’ve got yourself a new pup.” Noah laughed, shaking his head.

  “I don’t want a new dog. I don’t want any dog. I think we’ve established that I’m f–” I almost slipped and cursed. “I’m terrified of the creatures.” My face was contorted into one of stark fear with a dash of confusion.

  “Tell him that, sugar.”

  Sugar. That’s the second time he’s called me that and it makes me melt inside.

  Chapter 2

  It’s been a whole week of the same thing; I struggle with lock or unlock, Noah sleeps on the floor with my pillow and blanket, Diesel has not left my side for one single second – seriously – and I struggle with being near my best friends. I can’t be away from them but I can’t just express how I feel either; they want me to talk, I want them to distract me. It is one big game of go round and it’s frustrating. Noah hardly speaks, he just waits and watches. Mostly, he watches me but he keeps one eye on Diesel. I’ve stopped quaking with him around but I’m not completely at ease either. He’s the most docile dog I’ve ever seen in my whole 23 years, but he packs a punch, too. Though the only time I’ve seen him bare his teeth was the morning Noah barged into my room unexpectedly.

  Tommy came to me and explained that he was planning a huge surprise for Taylor and Matt would keep me in the loop as it progressed. Tonight was the night he was going to surprise her with an intimate “little” wedding and ceremony afterward. I thought it was so sweet and wonderful that Tay had someone who loved her so fully; something I could never have.

  After everything in my past…

  A sharp, but contradictory soft, knock came at the door, setting Diesel at attention.

  “Who is it?” I asked from my position in the closet.

  “Just me.”

  Oh yeah, just him.

  “Come in.” I nearly choked.

  Seeing Noah ignited things in me that I had long thought dead and even things I never knew existed, let alone didn’t know what the heck they were.

  While stewing in my foreign emotions, the air shifted behind me. He came in so silently I didn’t even know he was in my space. Not until he was all up in my space.

  I turned around quickly, coming nearly nose to nose with him. Our breath’s mingled and my hair stood on end. Being in his presence was electrifying.

  We stood that close for almost a full minute before he practically breathed, “Hi.”

  “H-hello.” I tried to shake the steam from my brain but it was almost on permanent residence since he made permanent residence in my life. Or my door, same thing.

  “I brought you something.” He said.

  “Me?”

  No one had ever given me anything. Mostly, I wouldn’t let them, but no one had ever just bought me something and given it to me.

  Noah nodded his head slightly, bringing his lips closer to mine. The simple nod of his head exhilarated me and utterly terrified me.

  Too close.

  I stepped back, ramming my back into the rows of clothes that Taylor had transferred into my closet. Who bought them, I have no idea, but it was nice having clothes that fit me. Taylor was not big by any means, but we were more than one or two sizes different; I was a size 00 since the ordeal, 0-3 on a regular basis and she was a 7-9.

  “Um, what – what is it?” Nonchalance was not in my repertoire.

  “Diesel, get it. Take to the bathroom.” Noah held his arm out
with a small package that Diesel grabbed gingerly in his mouth.

  “He can do that?” I asked, impressed.

  “There’s a lot he can do. I’ll teach you, don’t worry.” He smiled at me again and held his arm out for me to take.

  Noah was patient with me, always.

  It took me a good thirty seconds to talk myself into accepting him.

  And a deep breath.

  He walked backwards, pulling me out of the closet (which was like the size of a-whole-nother bedroom by the way), guiding me over to the full length mirror near the bathroom door.

  “I need to pick something for tonight.” I said to him, feeling unsure.

  “No, you don’t.” It was simple, sure.

  “I can’t just go naked.” I laughed, lightly.

  This past week wasn’t leaps and bounds, but he was bringing me out of my shell millimeter by millimeter. I was feeling almost a quarter of the comfortable I was with Taylor and Matty.

  It was a miracle, honestly.

  “I’m sure that every single man present would be drooling and have not one complaint.”

  I opened my mouth to rebuke him but he held a finger before my lips.

  “But, I would have to shoot them all the in balls. Here.” His eyes twinkled and he held up a hanger with a beautiful white cotton eyelet dress on it. I lifted a finger to the fabric, taking in its simple beauty and elegance. This was a dress that could be worn for a fun night out with friends or to an event like tonight. It didn’t matter that I had worn designer pieces or owned five-thousand dollar shoes and handbags. Knowing that Noah had gone shopping with the intent to buy me, specifically, something nice to wear, that was what made my heart skip a beat. Or seven.

  “It’s…Thank you, Noah. I love it, truly.”

  “You’re very welcome.” He turned slightly to hang the dress on a coat rack near the door. “I guessed your size, though I checked your closet to be sure. The only thing I couldn’t find in town, in your size, was a good pair of boots. I put in a special order, but for tonight I grabbed a pair of Taylor’s. I hope they fit – boots can be a tad finicky.”

  This man was an enigma. I had never in my life met a man who showed me interest and was completely, wholly, considerate with no thought to his benefit. Every single person in my life, with the exception of three people, had always expected something from me – they’d always hung around like I owed them. It was only my luck that men didn’t much catch my interest either so it was no big heartbreak.

  Though with Noah, if I allowed him, I had the strongest suspicion that he could break me in all new ways; that made him the most dangerous man I’d ever known.

  “Thank you.”

  “You already said that, sugar.” He traced a finger from my wrinkled brow, down my face, resting on my chin.

  My eyes fluttered closed as a natural womanly instinct; my body was waiting for him to kiss me. My brain gave my body a small pinch and my eyes shot open, again.

  Noah had not moved any closer, helping me to stay relatively calm.

  “Diesel, out, buddy. Free.” Noah commanded, still staring into my eyes.

  His grey, they were cloudy and hit with a twinge of blue giving off the appearance of a raging storm. Unbelievably, they did not scare me as they probably should have.

  “There’s a bag in the bathroom with some new makeup and what not. Let me know if you need anything else, alright sugar?”

  I nodded, licking my lips unconsciously. It was a habit I had kicked when being “discovered”.

  Noah moaned and his eyes rolled ever so slightly.

  The act of sex itself may be an alien concept but it didn’t take a scientist to know what a man turned on, looks like. The thought thrilled me.

  “Noah.” I didn’t have anything to say.

  “Excuse me. I apologize; I’ll be in the other room, getting dressed if you need anything.”

  Instead of walking out the door, he took the bathroom entrance to “his” room, closing it just a notch below a slam.

  “Great, now I’ve done it.” Whatever it was. Men that were in angry, in my experience, were not something I wanted any part of.

  * * *

  Those soulful eyes had me; I was wrapped around her finger. If she told me to jump, I wouldn’t have even asked her how high.

  Damnit, man. All it would take is one real touch and she would flee like a scared animal. I was building up a foundation between us; I couldn’t afford to fuck it all up, now.

  Tonight is all about my brother and sister-in-law. Shaking my head, I start shucking my clothes to get changed.

  My mission tonight is to make sure Jamie is happy and no one gets too close. Our family knows the deal but friends and townies don’t have a fucking clue. One frisky cowboy would knock her back a thousand pegs for the two hundred she’s already come.

  That was not going to happen, not on my watch; not for the rest of her life.

  Not unless that frisky cowboy was me.

  Tommy had set everything up by himself, under our mothers’ management. The ceremony was not small by any means despite his intentions to keep it intimate, but it was sweet nonetheless. Taylor truly was surprised; she thought she was coming out for a date.

  I haven’t spoken a single word to Jamie since we were in her room. Diesel is back at the house, against his wishes if his whining had any indication of how he felt; Jamie seemed at a loss for him, too. I’d already fielded five annoying ass admirers and was starting to get pissed. She’d hardly talked to anyone other than Matt, our families or Taylor – no big surprise there. Around four in the morning she began making her way to the bar which really surprised me. To my knowledge, Jamie Wright was as sober as a toddler.

  I was standing a few feet from her back as she leaned up against the bar, licking her lips. What I wouldn’t do for my own taste.

  “You gonna stand there or order something?” Jonah, the bartender, asked her impatiently.

  “Oh, um, I’m sorry, I don’t… It’s just…” She stuttered and I knew she was already running in her head.

  Taking one large step forward, I delicately boxed her into the bar, situating her between my arms and chest.

  “Just two sweet teas, would you, Jonah?” I asked, nodding in that way that conveyed he better mind his ass before he lost it.

  “Yeah, sure, No.” He turned away, collecting some mason jars.

  “I can hear you counting. You know I won’t hurt you.” I whispered, lowering my lips to her ear.

  It is essential that I don’t actually touch her or else I may lose control.

  “I-I know. I do.” She stuttered again, but I knew she believed it. She believed her words and she believed me. It may have only been a week to her, but it felt like I had known her a lifetime and I would do anything for her.

  Jonah turned back with two jars filled to the rim.

  “I’m lookin’ to get outta here. Anything else?” Jonah asked, looking beat down.

  “Nah man, thanks. Get home safe, alright.” I pulled my wallet out and handed him a $100 bill. He had earned it after dealing with this town all night at the most anticipated wedding since the late eighties. It wasn’t what everyone imagined, but they’d shown up even so. And Lord had they partied.

  “Thanks.”

  I grabbed both jars and steered her toward the barn. No one was going to be inside which would give her some peace and quiet. Everyone was ogling her when they realized the great model had shown up at her best friend’s wedding. It was a damn good thing they didn’t yet know she’d be in town for a long while yet.

  Charlie was passing by and opened the door for us.

  “’Preciate it.” I mumbled.

  “Thank you, Charlie.” She said quietly, passing him quickly.

  “You’re both very welcome.” He tipped his hat before closing it and chasing some tail.

  “He’s a scoundrel that one.” I joked.

  Like I had room to talk.

  “You guys sure know how to party, huh?
”

  I chuckled but settled her on a blanket over a hay bale before asking her, “What was keeping you at the bar, there?”

  Jamie hid her chin in her chest, squeezing her eyes, before looking back to me.

  “I didn’t know what to order.”

  It was a simple enough statement, but not one I took at face value; no, I knew exactly what she meant.

  “If you needed some help, you could have just asked.”

  “Oh yes, I’m sure it’s that easy. ‘Excuse me, I’m a 23 year old model who has been to nearly every country on the planet but I’ve never had a lick of alcohol. Could you help me decide?’” She mocked, turning red.

  “Yes, sugar, just like that.” I sat my glass down and moved nearer to her.

  “Easy.” She warned.

  “I’m not like most men, Jamie.” I began.

  “I’ve noticed.” She murmured.

  I chuckled at her but dredged on.

  “I like that bite you have. There’s an innocence about you but it is not overwhelming or irritating. I want you to keep that lip and never be afraid to speak your mind. Don’t be afraid to speak up, even if you think it’s embarrassing. I can’t help you if I don’t know you need help.” Without waiting for her reply, I stood and held out my hand; the band was still playing strong though I likely wouldn’t have another opportunity like this one anytime soon.

  “Dance with me.” I meant it to sound like a question but instead it came out as a demand, damnit. “Please?”

  Jamie stared at my hand, making me think I had crossed a line. Slowly though, she shifted her tea and took my hand; it was like holding a bag of feathers, lifting her up. We began swaying unsteadily and I held her at a distance like we were at a middle school dance. Just until she warmed up to me.

  She bit the inside of her lip before stating, “You sure seemed to know I needed some help at the bar. Without my asking.”

  “Well, I was just lucky.”

  “I highly doubt that.”

  “I get lucky a lot.” It slipped out before I thought about it; a natural reflex to just vomit comebacks.