Hope at Christmas

by Nancy Naigle

  A man took her by the arm in a surprise do-si-do. “Hey Sydney. It’s me, Tony. Diane’s husband.”

  The girl behind the desk didn’t seem to be in a huge hurry. “We’re going to need you to fill out these papers, please.” The woman shoved a clipboard in her direction.

  “I’m not filling anything out until you tell me how my daughter is and let me see her.”

  “Someone will be out to see you in a moment. Meanwhile, if you can get that filled out for me.”

  Sydney snatched the clipboard from the woman and held it to her chest.

  Tony guided her to a seat near the ER doors. “They’ve taken her to x-ray to check for broken bones. She’s pretty out of it. She wasn’t wearing a helmet, and she was pinned under the four-wheeler when we got there.”

  The double doors opened and a man in a Santa suit walked in with a woman and a boy behind him. Seth. That was Seth. And Mac.

  Anger rose inside her. “You said it would be fine—it would be safe. This is your fault. I don’t even know if my daughter is going to be okay. How could you do this?”

  “What do we know?” Mac asked.

  Sydney stabbed a finger in the air in Mac’s direction. “We know this would’ve never happened if we hadn’t let her ride your four-wheeler in the first place.”

  Seth stepped behind his dad, and Sydney regretted screaming at him in front of his little boy.

  “Oh my gosh. What have I done?” Sydney said, turning in a circle.

  “You didn’t do anything, Sydney,” Mac said.

  “My little girl is lying back there. I’m her mother. I’m supposed to keep her safe.”

  Tony excused himself to go get another update.

  “Have you seen her yet?”

  “No. I don’t know anything except what Tony has told me.”

  “What can we do?” Mac reached for her arm, but she pulled away.

  “You’ve really done enough, don’t you think?”

  “Sydney, I—”

  “What happened? Tell me what happened. I didn’t even know she was gone,” Sydney said.

  “Seth said she showed up at our house on her bicycle.”

  “That’s a long ride.” Sydney leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, covering her face with her hands. “I was right there in the house all night. I thought she was upset with her dad. She didn’t respond when I knocked on her door. She was probably already gone.”

  “This isn’t your fault.” Mac said quietly.

  She stared at the three of them. “I think you should leave.”

  “We want to be here for you.”

  “I don’t need you. Diane and Tony are here with me.”

  Mac stepped back. “I really want to be here for you, Sydney.”

  Her heart was heavy and fear gripped her so tightly that it was hard to breathe. “I don’t want you here. If I’d never met you this might never have happened. You knew how worried I was about her riding. How could you?” Sydney couldn’t get the rest of the words that were flowing through her mind out in the single breath.

  Seth spoke up. “But he didn’t—”

  Mac cut Seth off. “I understand,” Mac said. “Will you make sure someone lets us know how she is?”

  “I’m not going to sue you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Sydney’s hand shook, anger spiraling inside her like a tornado.

  “Sydney, that is the last thing in the world that I’m worried about. I’m concerned about your daughter. About you. If you change your mind, please let me come help you through this.”

  “Why don’t you just take your Santa suit and get out of here. You are not Santa. Not some wish granter. I’m not even sure what this whole Santa obsession is with you, but it’s not good. It can’t be. Look what you’ve done.”

  “I just wanted to help.”

  “Then go. You can’t do anything good for me. Just go away.”

  Mac, Haley, and Seth walked back to the truck.

  “That was a long ride to not even know if she’s okay,” Seth said.

  “We need to let them have their space.”

  “Why didn’t you tell her it wasn’t your fault? That RayAnne showed up and rode off on the four-wheeler all on her own?”

  “Because it doesn’t really matter right now,” Mac explained.

  “She thinks you let RayAnne get hurt. That’s really bad.”

  “It’s okay, Seth. She’ll know soon enough. Right now, she’s worried, and I understand that. She loves RayAnne more than anything in the world. I’d feel the same way if it was you in there.”

  They rode back to the sound of Christmas carols playing softly on the radio. Seth was asleep by the time they got back home.

  Mac pulled into the driveway and Haley got out of the truck.

  Mac nudged Seth then got out, too.

  “I’m so sorry about all of this, Mac.” Haley looked downcast.

  “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

  “I was being so careful, and something still happened. I’m not cut out to be a mother.”

  “You’ll be a great mother. Things happen. We can’t protect them from everything. They make decisions. Please don’t beat yourself up. I don’t blame you.” He leaned inside the truck. “Seth. Wake up and go inside and get in bed.”

  Seth roused, slid out of the seat, and went inside without saying a word.

  “I’m going to get out of this costume and get some sleep, too. I guess there’s not much we’re going to be able to do to help unless she decides she wants our help.”

  “I know. It feels awful.” Haley started to walk away. “Call me as soon as you hear anything. I don’t care what time it is.”

  “I will.” He stood there out in the cold for a long time. He checked his phone a dozen times, but there were no calls. No updates.

  No sense calling Diane and Tony’s house. They were both still at the hospital. He went inside and looked up the number to Tony’s garage. He texted the 24-hr service, knowing that the message would get to them.

  Mac: Mac here. Any updates on RayAnne?

  Tony: Broken ankle. Keeping her overnight.

  Mac: Thanks. Please keep me updated if anything changes.

  Tony: You got it.

  Mac went inside and lay on the couch. He wanted to call Sydney. To text. To do something, but he also didn’t want to add to the stress she was going through right now. He closed his eyes and fell asleep with his phone in his hand.

  * * *

  “Hey, kiddo.” Sydney swept RayAnne’s hair back from her bruised face. They’d finally moved RayAnne to a private room. “How do you feel?”

  “Awful. I was so scared. I thought I died.” A tear slipped down RayAnne’s bruised cheek.

  The thought made Sydney’s throat catch. “You’re going to be okay. I was scared, too.” It was hard to talk without being choked by tears of relief. It was bad. Stitches, a cast, bruises that would be sore for a long time, a concussion, too. But it could have been so much worse. Diane had wanted to stay, but knowing the prognosis was good Sydney had insisted Diane go home to tend to her own family. Selfishly, she didn’t want to share the attention to RayAnne with anyone right now.

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” RayAnne’s words sounded thick coming from her bruised mouth and lips.

  “Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, Mom,” RayAnne sniffled back tears. “I was so mad at Dad.”

  “I know, kiddo. I don’t know why he keeps breaking his promises to you.”

  “Because he … he doesn’t love me anymore,” RayAnne said between sniffling back tears.

  “Of course he does.” RayAnne sucked in a breath. Sydney found herself in a familiar spot, pleading his sorry case again. “He loves you with all his heart. He’s just mixed up and being selfish.”

  “Mom, I need to call Seth. Can I use your phone?”

  Sydney hesitated. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why?”<
br />
  “Because it’s the middle of the night, and look what happened when the two of you got together. He shouldn’t have taken you out riding on that four-wheeler.” Her words bit, although she was trying hard to not let her anger show. Last night could’ve ended in a real disaster, and Sydney knew that she would’ve never recovered from a blow like that. “Besides, you need your rest.”

  “I’ve been lying here for hours. I can call while I rest. I wrecked his ATV, Mom. Those things are expensive.”

  “That is not your problem. He should never have let you ride that thing. Especially without protective gear. What was he thinking?”

  “Mom! He didn’t—”

  “RayAnne, you don’t have to defend him. I’m just thankful you’re going to be okay. You just relax and let’s get you well.”

  “It’s not Seth’s fault. Mom, he told me we weren’t allowed to ride because his dad wasn’t home. I took off on his four-wheeler. Without permission. If he hadn’t ridden out after me on my bicycle I’d probably still be out there.”

  “RayAnne?” Sydney tried to comprehend what that meant. “Why would you do that?”

  She shrugged it off like a tough guy, then broke down sobbing. “Daddy’s not going to love me anymore.”

  “That’s not true, RayAnne.”

  “Daddy’s having a baby with Ashley. He told me yesterday, and he’s not coming to see me. He’s going to love the new baby more.” RayAnne started crying. “I wanted to run away.”

  Sydney crawled up in the bed with her. “That’s not true. Well, they are going to have a baby, but your father loves you so much. I promise you. I get mad at him, too. Sometimes he acts like a fool, but it’s not because he doesn’t care. He does. He will love you forever. You will always be his first girl. I promise you that.”

  “I really messed up. Seth is going to hate me now.”

  “No he won’t. They were really worried about you. They even came to the hospital.”

  “I’m tired.”

  “It’s late. Close your eyes and sleep. I’ll be close by.”

  “I love you, Mom.” RayAnne looked so tiny in the bed with her bandaged head cradled in the stiff pillows and foot elevated. Her face and arms looked as if she’d been rolling in mud where the bruises were starting to turn color.

  “I love you.” She pressed a kiss into the palm of RayAnne’s hand, afraid to touch her swollen face.

  RayAnne closed her eyes, and no sooner did she fall asleep than the nurse came in to check on her.

  Sydney took the opportunity to step out of the room and try Jon again. He still wasn’t taking her calls, so she texted him the details in one big honking text.

  His text back was short and sweet.

  Jon: On my way. Tell Ray I love her.

  Sydney stood near the door out of the way as the nurse checked all of the machines and added another dose of pain medicine to the IV.

  “She’ll probably sleep for a while. You should get some rest,” the nurse said as she walked out. “I’ll be checking on her.”

  “I can’t leave her. I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

  “I can bring you a pillow and blanket. That chair reclines like a bed. It’s really comfortable.”

  Sydney appreciated the concern, but she was afraid to even close her eyes. “Thanks. I don’t think I can sleep.”

  “I understand, but I’ll bring you the pillow anyway. Tomorrow’s going to be another long day. You need your rest so you can be strong for her, too.” The nurse left without waiting for a response.

  She was too tired to talk to Mac, but she also knew she owed him an apology. He must think she’s crazy the way she leapt to conclusions … again.

  That wasn’t like her. Or maybe it was. Her life had been so wrapped up in Jon’s world for the last ten years that she wasn’t entirely sure who she was anymore.

  She picked up her phone and brought up Mac’s number. She started to text him, then backspaced and started over twice.

  Sydney: Sorry I wrongly accused you. Didn’t mean to be unkind. RayAnne is going to be okay. Too tired to talk right now, but we should. Soon. I’m so sorry.

  Mac: No apology nec. We’re all going to be okay.

  She wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but she felt better for having sent the note. The nurse came back in with a pillow and a blanket. “Snuggle up under this warm blanket, and get some rest.”

  “Thank you.” The blanket was thin, but it must have just come out of a warmer because it felt like a hug. She relaxed into its warmth, closing her eyes. Exhaustion took over where the adrenaline and worry had kept her moving the last several hours. “That does feel good.” She curled up with her knees to her chest.

  “You let me know if you need anything,” the nurse said. “I’m here for you, too. The kids bounce back from these things way quicker than the parents.”

  “I believe that. Thank you.” Sydney turned her head and watched RayAnne sleep. She was resting comfortably. What a blessing it hadn’t been worse. She recited a silent prayer to God. Thanks for protecting RayAnne, and for strength and awareness to see the right path for herself. A wave of safe comfort flooded over her and she tuned herself into the sound of her own breaths. In. Out. Until she was dreaming of warm, sunny days filled with flowers and laughter.

  A soothing voice echoed in her dream. Deep but melodic, she heard, “You’re going to be okay.”

  Sydney opened her eyes, realizing the voices were not a dream. It was morning. The doctor had come in and was talking to RayAnne.

  Sydney pushed the blanket back and got out of her chair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “That’s fine. I’m sure this has been quite a night for you both. I’m Dr. Kelly.” He reached over and shook Sydney’s hand.

  “Your girl’s pretty sore this morning,” he said. “The swelling at the head wound seems to be under control, but I really want to watch her one more day.”

  RayAnne moaned her disapproval.

  “That’ll give us time to get physical therapy in here to help her learn to use the crutches, too.” Dr. Kelly turned to RayAnne. “If all checks out in the morning, we’ll get you home for Christmas Eve.”

  “Crutches will be cool,” RayAnne said. “I bet everyone in school is going to want to sign my cast.”

  Sydney patted the bulky cast on her daughter’s leg. “I have no idea what you’ll be able to wear with that thing on.”

  “Oh, yeah. My jeans won’t fit over this.”

  Dr. Kelly laughed. “I’ll let you girls figure that out. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to check on you.”

  “Thank you,” RayAnne said.

  He updated the electronic chart, then said, “No riding without a helmet ever again. Right, RayAnne?”

  “Yes sir,” she said with a nod. “We have a promise.”

  “Good.” He turned to Sydney. “She’ll need to follow up with the orthopedic surgeon on her leg. He’ll have some instructions for you on that. As for her head, the doctors there in Hopewell can take her stitches out. We work with them a lot.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “Everything should heal fine. She’s lucky it wasn’t more serious.”

  Jon strode into the room with Ashley at his side. “Did I hear you say she’d be fine?”

  “Yes.” The doctor glanced at Sydney.

  “I told you she’d be fine, Jon,” Ashley said, pushing her hair back over her shoulder.

  Jon put his hand up, as if he’d silenced her with the gesture plenty of times in the past.

  “I’m RayAnne’s father.” Jon shoved his hand in Dr. Kelly’s direction. “We were on our way to Paris when we got the call. So she’s going to be okay?”

  “With time she’ll be one hundred percent.”

  “Thank you.” The doctor left, and Jon turned and glared at Sydney. “Where were you when all of this happened?”

  Sydney’s gut twisted. “Let’s concentrate on her getting well, Jon.”

  �
��I wouldn’t have to concentrate on that if you’d been doing your job, and taking care of her. I’m sure as hell this wouldn’t have happened on my watch.”

  “Dad. It wasn’t her fault.”

  “Jon, don’t do this. We don’t need to upset her. It’s almost Christmas and she’s been through enough, don’t you think?”

  Jon leaned over and gave RayAnne a kiss on the cheek. “You okay?”

  She nodded.

  “What made you do something like that?”

  RayAnne looked at Sydney, her eyes wide. “It wasn’t Mom’s fault.”

  “I think we need to talk,” Jon said to Sydney.

  Sydney was not about to get into it with him now. And she sure wasn’t going to do it with his little girlfriend by his side. “I don’t have a whole lot to say to you right now.”

  “Well I do,” Jon said. “This is not how you take care of our daughter. Nothing like this ever happened back in Atlanta.”

  “Y’all don’t fight,” RayAnne said. “Dad, why are you messing everything up? We had a good life before, and now you don’t love us.” RayAnne took in a stuttered breath. “You didn’t even want to see me.”

  “That’s not how it was, RayAnne. You’re blowing this out of proportion.”

  Sydney’s heart was breaking for RayAnne. The last thing she wanted was to upset her further. She motioned to Jon and Ashley to follow her outside. And it was a good thing he fell right into step with her because she was about an eighteenth of an inch from snatching him by the hair and dragging him out. “What is your problem?”

  “My problem?” He huffed and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “Don’t even get me started. Why on earth would you let our daughter ride on an ATV unsupervised and without a helmet? Are you completely crazy, or just completely incompetent?”

  “Don’t you dare go there.” Sydney’s jaw tightened.

  “I’m sorry I signed those papers now. I’m really rethinking custody right now,” he said.

  “Excuse me?”

  Ashley folded her arms across her chest.

  Just having to look at her was enough to make Sydney want to smack her. Was all of this her doing? The continued letdowns? The custody? She knew it was up to Jon to make those final decisions. She couldn’t blame it all on the other woman … even if it would make her feel a little better.