Where Would I Be Without You

by Hawk, CJ

  "Ah. Ouch. That must have hurt." He said it with such compassion instead of the typical response of well some men are like that. Although with my dad, I think it had become a lifetime habit of deciding to stay married to my mom for the sake of us girls and then when we moved out, I don't think either of them could decide to do anything different about it. Then I felt his hand touch my face gently.

  "You ok? You kind of faded off there, thinking of something? Listen. I'm sure that had to hurt knowing your dad was making a bad decision but not all good men are like that. Not that I'm saying your dad's not a good man, it's just a bad decision to do something like that."

  Could you cue in the ark angels singing here? Because this raised Catholic girl just found herself, a man that didn't think cheating was out of necessity or ok. Unlike Steve and a few other guy's I knew. "I'm ok." I replied. Just then, the waitress showed up with our long neck bottle beers, two waters and two menus. I didn't want to talk about my dad, but I didn't want Mason thinking he was a jerk either, so I quickly informed him of something he needed to know. "My dad's a great guy; you'd love him. He is a drinker though, but he seems to have called it quits on the extracurricular junk, so please don't hold it against him when you meet him." Oops, I just let Mason know that I was assuming he would meet my parents soon. A bit early for that, but oh well, he seemed to be taking it in stride.

  "Glad to hear he's a great guy, and that he's trying. What do you want to eat? Their hot wings are spicy, but they are my favorite. Want to share an order?"

  I never picked up my menu. I just stared in awe of him. "Sure that would be great." He seemed so casual about making this thing we have going on, turning it into a relationship. As badly as I wanted an evening nightcap, I also knew that was almost a fast track way of blowing a good thing. When he finally looked over at me and put the menu down, I watched his hand instinctively reach out for mine, and he smiled. What he said next about put me into a melted mess on to the floor.

  "Amber Jones, you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I'm really glad I picked this building to do my hands-on employment time and even happier that you ended up being my neighbor. Couldn't have worked out better. Thanks for the show the other night, by the way." He let out a little chuckle while looking down at his beer. When he looked back up with his sexy as sin eyes, he looked at me straight in the face and said the next thing very serious. "Best entertainment I have had in a long time."

  Without hesitation, but a bit of blushing to my face, I held up my beer to his, clinked in a cheer's fashion and said the next thing with a dead on sexy smile to my face before I took a long drawl of the house beer. "Right back at cha champ. Really nice ass by the way."

  He choked on a sip of his beer and started to laugh. "About that. How much naked did I show you?"

  "All. And if I am not mistaken, you were a bit excited to get undressed or is that his relaxed state?" Now I was really turning the conversation to slutty. He laughed and made a quick turnaround in the conversation.

  "I guess that is why you weren't so focused on my eye color. Although, I was told to get some curtains up by the old lady next to you. I guess she likes to sit with her cat in the window seat and has a view into my place as well."

  "Hmm. That would be a terrible thing. Putting window coverings up in your bedroom. How would I be able to see you, you know, before you get undressed to take a shower?" I took another sip of my beer and looked at him with a sultry smile while holding the tip of the beer bottle up to my lips.

  "That can be arranged. Sorry to say, though, curtains are already up. I guess I just have to remember to close them." Then he set his bottle down on the table, reached over, and whispered into my ear. "I don't plan on closing them anytime soon. Just so you know."

  "Hmm. That's a good thing." Then I took a deep breath in and out, realizing that in all this time in the bar, it felt like we were the only two people in the room. I liked that. I liked that feeling a lot. I wasn't worried about who was looking at me, was my hair ok, was the cute guy at the bar looking at me, or Marion. Usually, men were looking at Marion.

  By the time the food came, we had settled into an easy conversation about our lives. I told him about my job as an administrative assistant of the production line down at Crawley's, and my mother's aspirations for me to go to college, any college, any course, just to say I had a degree. He told me about his business degree from CU Boulder and that his dad had great plans for him, yet he kept alluding to what they were. Therefore, I talked about Marion and her husband Carl, and I gleamed over her pregnancy. I talked about my aunt Heather, who is a perpetual party girl even in her forties, never married, no kids and how she says she doesn't need them when she has me as her favorite niece to spoil. Mason told me about his two sisters already married with kids, yet he was the oldest of the four kids, and his youngest sister just finished up her first year in college. It felt as if we could talk on and on all night, but we didn't.

  It was the last kiss that he dropped on me right before saying that it doesn't matter what you do in life, just that you are happy with the one you love that caused me to realize my smart brain of learn all about him, just lost. I wanted nothing more than to get him naked back at my place. I was in love with his Latin bad-boy moves and his great outlook on life. The two combined were lethal to my heart, because I was falling hard into the canyon of love.

  After he excused himself for a moment to go to the men's room, I grabbed the waitress as she was walking by with a quick yank of her arm. After a profuse apology to my briskness, I pleaded with her that she gives us the check right away. She smiled as she walked away. She was either going to take her sweet time or have sympathy for a woman who is falling madly in love with the man in front of her.

  By the time Mason came back, the check was being laid on the table before him, and our waitress was telling us to have a great night. I intended to. I raised my eyebrows and smiled while a loud 'thanks' left my mouth. Mason glanced over at me with an inquisitive look of what was that about, and I simply replied. "Girl talk, while you were in the bathroom. She likes my shoes." I held my foot out and did a little foot modeling like I was showing a woman off my spectacular footwear.

  "Ok. They're nice. So are you ready to get out of here? It's been a long day for me, and I'm sure you still need to catch up on your missed out sleep from last night. You have work tomorrow?"

  If I wasn't mistaken, he seemed to be making an exit to our date. No mention of nightcap or hanging out anymore. The night was still young as it was only six o'clock. Was I reading him wrong? Did he need to get to another date or had other plans? I blatantly answered with a nonchalant answer as I shrugged my shoulders. "Yup. Back to the old grindstone tomorrow."

  As I stood up, he dropped cash on the table, then stood behind me and put his hand to the lower part of my back again. "So do you have plans for your actual birthday then?" He asked.

  We started to walk out of the bar, and then it suddenly dawned on me that maybe he didn't want this thing to go too fast either. That perhaps, I should not assume he just wants to take me back to my place for anything more. We just had an early happy hour adventure and after both our long nights, that maybe he was just as tired as I was. I decided to answer him with an invite. "Yes, actually. Well, I ordered a small cake from the bakery around the corner. I had ordered a large one to bring back for leftovers from my family restaurant party, but in my drunk stupor, the cab driver got it. I was planning on having the small cake by myself, after I got home from an after work thing we do with all the employees. If it's someone's birthday, we round up any available crew for a drink after work. Marion is coming, would you like to come?"

  Without hesitation, he answered me, which made my heart float. "Sure. What time and where? Maybe we could share some of that cake afterwards." He sounded excited so I had to assume he was just trying to slow things down a bit, so we didn't jump the gun on this one.

  "Five o'clock. Down on sixth at that little dive bar, do yo
u know the one I am talking about."

  "Yeah. Pete's. Pete's Bar and Grill I think, but I don't ever remember seeing menus there. They've got a rank happy hour buffet. Wouldn't eat from it, but they do a mean karaoke, and the drinks are cheap."

  "So you know the place?" I beamed with excitement.

  "Yeah. Right by your work. Makes sense."

  I looked at him with a scrunched inquisitive face for a moment. "How did you know where I worked?" Forgetting for a moment, that I had mentioned in our earlier kaleidoscope of exchanged life stories, where I worked.

  Then he smiled seductively, stopped our walking hand in hand business, and pulled my head in close to his as he whispered in my ear. "I know a lot about you Amber Jones, and I like everything I know."

  Oh triple gulp. I about melted through the street grate right there on the sidewalk.

  By the time we made it back to my place, the door barely closed, as we were right back to the same spot kissing that we were at when he first came to pick me up. At this point, stopping was going to be a hard endeavored option.

  Chapter Six

  The whole day at work, I could think of nothing more than the sweet words of Mason telling me that he wanted nothing more than to be with me, but it would be wise for both of us to have at least a few dates under our belts first. I agreed, reluctantly, but knew it was for the best. However, his mention of other dates, held so much promise that I was excited to finish work and get home. However, it was only nine thirty, and I had a production meeting. This was going to be a long day.

  On my lunch hour, I saw a text from Mason. It simple read: Have a great day at work. It was enough that he was thinking of me that I had a smile on my face the rest of the day that got everyone I worked with to ask me what was up. I felt it was too soon to exaggerate about Mason when I had just been boasting about Steve. Yet, if he came to my work party tomorrow night, I did not want there to be any confusion. Therefore, I simply replied that my new boyfriend Mason had put it there. Only two out of all the other females gave me the evil eye and reply of; I thought his name was Steve. I just looked at them as if they were confused. Luckily, for me, I worked with people that never bothered to remember my boyfriend's names nor did they really care who I was seeing or dating. They just cared if I got their time cards correct for HR and if their vacation request time was put in.

  The drive home was tedious with traffic due to the baseball game going on in the Rockies Stadium. Thinking of Mason had made me completely forget that I needed to take an alternate route home to make my drive easier. However, I wouldn't give up living downtown for anything, so I puttered through the constant stop and go while thinking about Mason. I kept thinking about his eyes and the way they spoke their own language of love; his smile, which often exposed these two cute dimples on his cheeks, and the most important memory of all, the way that he kissed me and how it sent me into a tailspin of elation.

  I only got three car horns to 'move it lady', while I was lost in thought over Mason. So when I pulled into the apartment building parking lot to my assigned spot, I felt overjoyed when I could see his apartment from the lot, and his light was on. That meant he was home and hopefully done with his work. Maybe he would want to stop by for a drink or watch a movie. As I took the elevator in my building up to my floor, I wondered things like, what is his favorite movie, color, food, and the all-time silly girl notion of what does he dream his perfect wife to be? I know, a bit too soon for all these thoughts. Well at least, the last one was a bit too serious, too soon.

  When I got off the elevator, from thinking about Mason, I felt as if I was walking on air all the way to my door. As soon as I unlocked the door and walked in, I stood there with my door wide open and a deer caught in headlight look. There on my small kitchen table for two, was my bakery cake out of the box, two small plates with forks on them, two unlit white candles in crystal holders and two glasses of milk. My kitchen table is just off the view of my doorway, ten steps or so from my window seat, the very seat that now held a gorgeous seat cushion with a huge blue bow and a note. I called out. "Mason? Marion? Aunt Heather?" Any one of them could have done this. However, I said Mason's name first because he had joked about sharing the cake and getting me a window seat cushion so that I could watch his 'naked dance' as he called it.

  I finally closed my front door behind me when no one answered out. I dropped my purse on my side table, walked over, and picked up the note, which was obviously written by a man. 'Something soft to rest your butt on while you watch me.' With a smiley face.

  I walked over to the kitchen table and there was another note on a small white piece of paper, it simple read. Call me if you want to share that cake tonight.

  I rushed over to my cordless phone and dialed in the direct number to the building maintenance. Mason answered on the second ring. "That didn't take long. You just got home. I saw you pull up and park while I was fixing a tenant's stuck window that overlooks the lot."

  His voice was cheerful, and it sounded like he was just as happy to see me as I was him. This was too good to be true. He was either the most romantic man I had ever dated, or I was in some kind of dream that I have yet to wake up from. Maybe I haven't woken up from the night after my family birthday dinner. That thought caused a shiver, so I pinched myself.

  "Amber? You there? I can hear you breathing." He sounded worried so I responded quickly.

  "I'm here. Sorry. I guess I am a bit stunned. The cake, the cushion, where do I start? It's all very..." I let my voice trail off.

  "I know romantic. Does it make me sound any more like a man if I tell you my younger sister helped? She stopped by earlier and wanted to know what was new. I told her about you and your birthday tomorrow. She did the investigative work on the cake. Found the bakery you ordered from and picked up the cake. She actually found the cushion too. Sorry, I would like to take claim to that..."

  I stopped him before he went on. "Hurry your ass up over here and tell me then. And Mason?"

  His voice held a bit of laughter. "Yes?"

  "I missed you today." I let out that sigh that he made me feel as if I was lost in a lustful paradox.

  "I missed you too." He hung up and I barely had time to brush my teeth and fluff my hair when a knock on my door had me running out of the bathroom.

  "Your door was unlocked. Not very safe." Then he turned and locked the door.

  "In my defense, I was a bit surprised. The cake and candles, the milk, the cushion." I took the steps to close the gap between us, and before I could kiss him, he had me wrapped up in his arms kissing me like a hungry man. I quickly wondered if date number two was too early for hanky-panky. At least, my whohaw wondered. My mature female, needs to grow up brain, told my whohaw, not tonight dear, just a few more dates. Mature parenting sucks, even if it is to your own body.

  When we pulled away from the kiss, he looked into my eyes as he stroked the side of my face, letting his fingers linger down to my neck. Then with a soft voice, he admitted to me. "It was all my sister's idea. A good one at that with the reaction I just got."

  "I haven't even met her, but I know I like her already." I smiled up at him.

  "You'd love her. She's smart, funny, sweet but not a push over. She's the one sister I really connected with. You know. We talk about everything. I always check up on her and she does the same with me." He looked as if he was remembering fond memories of his sister while talking to me, and that touched a soft spot in my heart. At one point in our lives, Bethany and I were great friends, not just competitors in our mom's love and affection. She won out at an early age, so I quickly gave up trying. I still loved Bethany as a sister, but Marion and I had that sister connection that kept us best friends as long as we have been.

  "Hey." I pulled his arm over to the table. "I'm starved. Let's eat this cake."

  He let me lure him over to the table, where he quickly pulled out a chair for me to sit down in. My small oak wood dinette and chairs were a simple thing, but with the cake and candles, i
t felt grand. He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit the candles. "I have to confess. I don't smoke, so my sister bought me this to have on hand to light the candles she bought. Does it seem weird? You know. That my sister did this?"

  "Not at all." I replied as I watched him sit. "Just the fact you told your sister was enough for me. If she did all the sidebar work to make it happen for you, I think that is really sweet. However, you are setting the bar a little high on our second date."

  He laughed and grabbed my hand to hold. "Then perhaps I had better take some notes on what is expected of me and keep my sister on standby for help."

  "That would be a wonderful idea." I smirked with a glint of sparkle to my eye. "You are going to love this cake. The bakery down the street makes a wonderful chocolate cake. You should taste their muffins too. To die for. And their holiday pies, they are about the only thing I insist I get to bring to holiday parties."

  Then he looked me in the eye, leaned forward out of his chair, gave me a soft simple kiss on my lips and said the next thing that made me make that ah sound. "Nothing is sweeter than you."

  Then he sat back down in his chair and took a bite of cake; he muttered out before he swallowed. "I think we need to make a muffin run there this weekend, maybe Saturday if you are free."

  Well, not only would I make myself free; I was already thinking about what to wear and which booth I wanted to sit in that was quiet and cozy. However, I never responded so I finally took a bite of cake, and as soon as I swallowed it with a drink of the milk in the glass on the table I replied. "Mason, that would be really nice."

  "So this is date two. Tomorrow after your work is date three. Perhaps I should give you Thursday and Friday off and make Saturday date four. Then if you are up for it..." He paused as I was giving him the pouty sad girl face.

  "What's wrong?" His voice held genuine concern. I was good, no great, at the pouty girl face. It even won me a part in the high school play for a, don't laugh, poor sad girl.