Dared (Boneyard Bad Boy #1)

  She was constantly there to hold my hand or offer advice, even when I had grown past the point of needing her to.

  “Bartender! Another two bourbons please,” I shout over the crowd of laughter emanating from the crowd that has gathered at the bar. I am so shit-faced I can barely walk. The bartender places the drinks down in front of me.

  “This is cut off Damien. You need to go home and sleep it off man.” I've known Alex since the ninth grade. He looks at me and shakes his head. “I promise what you are looking for, you won't find in the bourbon. Work it out man. I hate to see you like this.”

  So what if I have been in here every fucking night for the past two months getting so drunk someone has had to call Cash to give me a ride home. I was a grown fucking man and if I wanted to drown my thoughts in liquor that was my prerogative.

  The simple truth is I can't come to terms with the fact that I have let Summer walk out of my life a second time. I am scared to be vulnerable and even more terrified of not being worthy of her. I don't know what I am doing and thinking these days, but the one thing that I know is that my life feels empty without her.

  “Really? We are doing this shit again? You know what, fuck you man!”

  “Damien, I'm telling you go home and sleep it off. Dude, you do not want to do this again.”

  Before I am able to stop and think, I swing. I hit Alex square in the jaw and the crowd of party goers quickly disperse. Security rushes in to grab me and escorts me out of the bar. I am on a roll. This is the sixth time this month I have been kicked out of a bar for starting a fight.

  “Dude. What the fuck? I can't do this shit with you anymore, D. You have to get your shit together,” Cash was bitching like a little girl as he helped me into the car.

  “Fuck you dude. You act like you are better than me. I was there to pick your ass up many times. Don't fucking forget who made you. You would be nothing without the opportunities I gave you, you ungrateful little bitch.”

  “You know what, I am not going to get into this with you. You need to pull your fucking shit together. You are losing it. If you want me to be honest, then I will. I used to look up to you. I admired you because I thought you had your shit together. I will be the first to admit that picking up easy ass girls willing to fuck with no strings and no expectations, used to be fun but it has seriously lost its appeal. You have a real, honest to God woman who is so far out of your league, right in front of you. And the craziest part is, for some fucked up reason, she actually loves you. She makes you a better man than you could ever be on your own and your dumb ass is too stubborn to see what you really have. You are just going to let her walk away and I can't respect that. I can't respect a man who would treat Summer that way. If I had someone like Summer, I'd be damned if I let her walk away without fighting for her.” Cash unleashes all of his frustration on me with a big ass lecture that I am in no mood for.

  “Whatever, man. You have been right here beside me picking up girls. Don't act like you haven't been having the time of your life living it up as a little playboy riding on my coattails. Since when do you know anything about love? You toss bitches around just as quickly as I do. So the way I see it, you don't have an inch of fucking room to try to tell me shit. Save that bullshit for someone who might actually want to hear it.” I shoot right back at Cash.

  “You know it was fun for a while, and I will be the first to admit that, but the game is played out. We are older and life is changing every day. It gets old not having a girl who is down for me the way Summer is down for you. If you can't be the man she needs, someone else will step up to the plate. You can bet your ass on that. You better realize what you are walking away from before your chance is gone. Time is going to run out on you and you are just going to end up a lonely drunk with no one to give a fuck about your ass.” Cash leveled the final blow on me.

  Cash zipped in and out of the Saturday night traffic without saying another word to me. Great. Summer was done with me and now Cash was pissed off at me. By the time we made it to my apartment and I stumbled out of the car, he squealed out before I could even say anything else to him.

  Maybe he is right. Maybe I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I had someone who loved me, who needed me, and most of all, wanted me. I had someone who knew all the darkest parts of me and still wanted to take a chance on me, yet I still let her walk away. I fucked up and I need a chance to make it right. But first I need to sleep this shit off and clean myself up.

  Cash is right. The game is getting old. It is time for me to go get my girl. The thought of another man capturing her heart gets my blood pumping and my stomach sours.

  ***

  Another two weeks go by. I have not made my move to go to Summer and tell her that I love her or cannot picture another day without her. I struggle with finding the courage that I need to take that leap. Each day I go to work and come home to the lonely silence of an empty place. My nights are filled with tossing and turning, unable to sleep because I can't figure out how to lay down all my fears. I keep trying to work up what I am going to say to her in my head and everything sounds like shit. The fear of rejection is crippling. I am my own worst enemy. I am a man standing in his own way.

  After Cash smacked me upside the head with his speech, I start attending AA meetings. I listen to the lives people once had that have somehow been ripped away from them by a disease that had also claimed my mother. Understanding begins to pour in and I come to terms with what it must have been like for her when my father walked out.

  I can see how my life is beginning to play out like my mother's. She allowed herself to be swallowed whole by the pain of my father leaving and she sought her comfort in the bottle. She hated me because I was a constant reminder of what she had lost. Nothing ever scared the shit out of me more than the idea that I could become just like the first woman who had broken my heart.

  It was in this process of reflection, that I found my real truth. We all have a choice on how we deal with the winding curves of life. It made me think, if I continued on this path, there was a very real possibility that I could let everything slip away. It could all be lost to me forever.

  I pour out all the liquor in my house. The first step I need to take is to get sober. The withdrawals are the worst. I take time off from the shop because my hands tremble so bad I can't work with a tattoo gun. I struggle through the night sweats, and the over the course of the next few weeks, I start to no longer feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through my body.

  I have a lot of fences to mend, but first I need to dig deep and forgive myself. Then I can get to the part of seeking forgiveness from those around me, for the asshole that I have been over the past couple of months. I don't want to wake up one day and see that I have lost everything and everyone in my life that I love and care about.

  It is time for me to be the man that Summer's dad always saw in me. He took a chance on me because he saw something even then that I could not. For the first time in my life, I take the blinders off and take back control of the man I want to be. It's time for me to choose which direction I want for my life.

  I bust my ass to work on fixing myself for the next month. I move out of my apartment and start living in my house out in the country. I find things to occupy my free time other than women and the bars. I begin to find an inner peace and serenity with just being me and getting a grasp on what is real in this world.

  When the time comes that I feel I am at my best, I return back to work.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Cash says as I walk into the shop. I have missed this place in the time that I have been gone and these guys who are family to me.

  “Hey man. You got a minute?” I nod my head towards the back room. I owe so much to Cash for waking me up from the silent hell I had been consumed by.

  “Yeah sure,” he replies.

  We walk to the back room and he waits for me to speak.

  “Look, I owe you an apology and a thank you. I'm sorry for saying the sh
it I said to you. I want to thank you for the swift kick in the ass that I needed.”

  “It's all good. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside looking in to see things clearly.”

  “Ain't that the truth? Are we cool, bro?”

  “That depends.” he waits for me to ask what he means. I cave.

  “Depends on what?” I chuckle.

  “Well, are you going to go get your girl now? Or do I need to show you how it's done?” he laughs as he catches me in the ribs with an elbow.

  “Don't make me kick your ass dude. I'm going to get her and I'm not going to let her tell me I don't stand a chance. I know she is worth fighting for and that's what I plan on doing.” I grab him and playfully put him in a headlock, “Put your hands on her and you are a dead man.”

  “Okay... Okay... I'm just saying if you are hell bent on letting her get away, I sure wouldn't mind a shot at that.” He hold his hands up to fend me off. “I'm just fucking with you bro, don't go getting all serious on me.”

  It feels good to be back. I feel like for the first time in a long time I am whole. The only thing missing is Summer and it is time to go get her and bring her home. When I say I am bringing her home, I mean to my home to be with me. The place where she belongs. I have no doubts that I am now the man that she has always loved. I know that I have loved that girl since the day I first laid eyes on her when we were just kids. She is my soulmate. It just takes some of us awhile to figure out that the one thing we never knew we needed was in front of us all along.

  “Alright man. I need to make some calls so I will be back here for a bit. If I get any calls for appointments, you can start booking my schedule for next week.”

  After Cash is gone I pick up the phone and dial the real estate office.

  “Montgomery Realty. This is Heather, how can I help you?” A young girl answers the phone on the second ring.

  “Yes, Summer Montgomery please.”

  “I'm sorry, Summer no longer works here. Is there anyone else that can help you?”

  “No. You wouldn't by any chance, know where she is working at now do you?” I ask. I don't think I can wait another day to talk to her.

  “I'm sorry I don't.”

  “Okay. I will just try to reach her at home. Thanks.” I hang up the phone and try to dial her cell phone. It goes straight to voicemail. Next, I try the house number and there is no answer.

  I decide to drive by her house. I figure it can't hurt and seeing me face to face she won't have the opportunity to hang up on me when she hears my voice. Now slamming the door in my face may be another story but it is worth the shot. I do not plan on leaving without her knowing one way or another that I love her.

  A little after noon, I head out of the shop and head over to Summer's house. Her mustang is not in the driveway. I decide to sit and wait a bit in case she is on her way home. I play with the radio and make myself comfortable as I listen to some Nickleback. I check my phone and the battery is on its last leg so I put it on the charger.

  After about three hours, I finally give up on sitting outside of her house. I head back to the shop and start working through the mass of callbacks that are on my desk waiting for me.

  Two hours and thirty calls later, I am booked for the next three weeks out. I still have a stack of calls left but I decide to handle a few walk-ins that come through the door at the last minute.

  After finishing up the last tattoo, I glance at the clock and see it is already nine o'clock. I try to call Summer's cell phone again but it still goes straight to voicemail.

  It is already late, so I decide to wait and try to catch her in the morning. I clean up my station and restock the supplies. I am in the back unloading the new shipment into the stock room when Cash comes to the back.

  “You have a call. It's boss lady,” he says as he hands me the cordless phone.

  “Hey, boss. How's it going?” I sit down in the chair as she starts to speak.

  I prepare myself for the lecture. I half know it is coming. I am sure she received a call first thing this morning to let her know I have returned to work. I should have called her and felt like shit that I put it off and now she was calling me. Not that she hadn't been supportive of my need for time off, but she always told me how it was and I expected nothing less this time.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Summer

  After the first month of being back in New York I had given up on the idea that Damien would magically show up at my door. He didn't come for me and I had moved on and accepted that. I had managed to find a roommate and things were finally going great in my life. I was actually happy and carefree.

  When I first arrived back in New York, Michelle was there to pick me up at the airport.

  “Summer!!! Hey babe. Oh my gosh, I have missed you so much!” Michelle cradles two cups of coffee in her hand as she hugs me tight. I have missed my dear friend and although I have only been gone for a several months it feels like an eternity.

  Michelle is chatting away as I toss my luggage into the trunk of her shiny new Mercedes.

  “Well, someone has been doing pretty damn good since I have been away. I love the new wheels. So fess up, tell me bitch, who did you sleep with to get the new car?” I raise my eyebrows as I check out the brand new BMW. I know damn well that she didn't buy this car and I wasn't about to let her think that I didn't notice she was driving a car worth half of her year's salary.

  “Really? I work hard and I make damn good money. I am so offended.” she feigns insult but we both know she doesn't make that much money. I roll my eyes at her waiting for her to spill the beans.

  “Fuck you! His name is Will. He is a fashion designer and he is married. The car is a gift. But we both know it's hush money to make sure I don't get the inclination to go running to his wife. I didn't even know the bastard was married until we bumped into one another at an event last week. The next day the car was parked outside of my penthouse with a note and set of keys.” She plays with her hair as she glances into the rearview mirror.

  “What an asshole. Well you better damn well keep the car. It suits you,” I laugh. Not to make light of the situation but it was pretty funny. The way these things usually worked is the jerk would shower her with extravagant gifts until he was sure she wasn't going to talk. After a few months the calls would stop coming and he would move on to the next poor conquest.

  “Girl, he will have to pry the keys from my cold dead fingers. Anyway, tell me about you. How are you holding up? Are you excited to be back in the city?” Her assault of questions come so fast I can barely keep up with them.

  “Whoa there. Take some time to breathe. I am okay. Not great but I am getting there. I guess I am still a little disappointed that Damien gave up so easily, but it is what it is. I wouldn't say that I am excited to be back in the city but I need as much distance from that infuriating and stubborn man that I can get. I am just going to focus on work. Keep myself busy enough to get me through until I reach the point that my days and nights aren't consumed with thinking about him.”

  “You will get there. It is still fresh but, if you are up for it, I kind of volunteered you to go out with me and Sam tonight. His friend Dave is in town and will be joining us. I might have mentioned that I had a friend coming into town that would be available. Don’t kill me,” she pleads as she chances a look in my direction.

  “No. No way in hell. It is not happening,” I shake my head. “I am not going out with your married man's guy friend who is also probably married.”

  “Actually, this is a not married guy. This is another guy I met a few weeks ago. We have been seeing one another off and on. He is really nice and it's not like I am setting you up to date. I just thought maybe you could be friendly and just have a good time out. That's all.”

  “Yeah, because you never have a hidden agenda,” I mumble under my breath. “Fine. Friends only and I am going casual so do not expect me to get dressed up like this is a date. This is definitely not a date. Are we clear on
that?” I stare her down with my fiercest look before we both start giggling.

  It feels so good to laugh, even if Michelle had just suckered me into a dinner date.

  We hit the historic section of Tribeca and a few minutes later we pull up in front of the property. The building was originally built in 1908 but was renovated into a boutique condominium in 2003. There are nine units total housed inside the extravagant building. There is a private elevator at the main entrance. We take the ride up to the third floor where my sprawling loft sits.

  There are two large, spacious bedrooms each boasting their own en-suites. The kitchen is open with a beautiful center island. Huge cast iron columns provide ever more stunning beauty to the gorgeous modern loft. A gas fireplace situates itself in the main living area. Light music is playing through the surround system that filters throughout each room.

  It is the view that I find the most breathtaking. The loft offers a wide open view of the city. Little shops and eateries are all within walking distance and the location couldn't be more perfect. The walls of the loft are covered with various pieces of amazing art work. The furniture is all sleek in style to compliment the design and also lend to the small pre-war details of the space.

  “Okay, so I may have to find someone to take over my place and move in with you. You are looking for a roommate aren't you? This place is gorgeous Summer.” Michelle is in awe as she takes in the vast richness of the design and the beautiful architecture.

  “These floors and that exposed brick is what I fell in love with. Seeing it online is nothing like seeing it in person. This place is stunning and of course I would love to have you as a roommate if you are serious.”

  “Well, it may take me some time to find someone to sublet my place, but yes I am serious. Wait. How much is this place? I need to know if I can afford it just in case you decide to up and leave on me again.”