Dared (Boneyard Bad Boy #1)

  I put all thoughts of Damien on the back burner and tried to get some rest.

  ***

  I wake up late this morning. I look at the alarm clock just as the door buzzer sounds.

  I scurry across the room in a robe and slippers to see Michelle standing there with coffee in hand.

  “Oh my God! What the hell happened to your face? Are you okay?” The look of shocked disbelief made me laugh. She was going to get a kick out of this story.

  “Come on, I will tell you about it as I get ready.” I shuffle her back to the bedroom as I make my way to the bathroom to start applying massive amounts of concealer. Thanks to the ice packs, the swelling is almost completely gone.

  I fill Michelle in on the incident that happened with Cameron a few days ago as I rush through the last touches of makeup.

  “What a fucking douche-canoe. I mean what kind of asshole hits a woman?”

  “Apparently, the kind that doesn't like getting called out on his shortcomings.” I laugh so hard at that, my lips and nose start to hurt again.

  “Are you almost ready? You are taking forever. We are going to be late.” Michelle grows impatient as I fumble through my closet to find a pair of jeans on.

  “I'm almost done. I'm sorry I just woke up feeling like shit this morning.” I emerge from the closet with my favorite pair of jeans in hand but freeze and look at Michelle. “I don't feel so well.” I haul ass and run to the bathroom just making it in time before the vomit gives way.

  “Oh sweetie, are you coming down with something?” Michelle asks as she pulls my hair up into her hands removing it out of the path of the vomit.

  I still feel queasy but slightly better now that I have thrown up.

  “I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me.” I splash some water on my face and attempt to brush my teeth, only to gag and have to rush back to the toilet.

  Ten minutes later, the wave of sickness has passed and I can finish getting ready. I sit on the edge of the bed and slide my jeans on. When I stand up I notice I can't get them buttoned. Are you kidding me?

  “Um. Are you gaining weight?” Michelle tries not to be offensive with her question but it still comes across the wrong way.

  “Hell no. I eat the same shit I have always eaten. Maybe I am about to start my period. It's probably just bloating,” I snap at her without realizing how harsh my words come across. The last thing I need is to gain weight when I am supposed to be losing weight for the show.

  “Well it's not like you are pregnant or anything. So be grateful for bloating any day over a snot nosed little brat,” she laughs off my irritation without insult.

  I stop dead in my tracks and just stare dumbfounded at her.

  Oh shit. I can't be.

  “Why are you looking at me like that? Oh no, Summer, please tell me you are not pregnant.” Concern mixed with shock is pasted across her surprised face. It's not like she can be any more freaked out than me.

  “No. Of course not. It's just...come to think of it I can't remember when I had my last period. I have been so busy with work that I barely have time to stop and eat, much less keep up with that.”

  “Well, we are going to answer this question right now. Go get dressed, let's go get a test.” She shoves me playfully back into the closet where I have to grab a dress to throw on, considering none of the first five pairs of jeans I have tried on are able to button.

  We head out of the door and make our way down to the corner market store. My thoughts are all over the place. What in the hell am I going to do if I am pregnant. How would I be able to work and take care of a baby? How would I work at all even just being pregnant? I wouldn't be able to book gigs with a huge stomach.

  I try not to let my mind get carried away with too many thoughts. I refuse to allow myself to even consider that fate would play this kind of sick twisted joke on me. I was not yet ready to realize the irony that was not lost on me that he suddenly popped up out of the blue yesterday with a phone call wanting to fix things with us.

  We rush into the store and quickly grab a test off of the shelf. Halfway down the aisle I thought better of it and went back and got a second one just to be on the safe side.

  After practically power walking back to the loft, I rush into the bathroom, tests in hand.

  I rip the test stick from the cardboard box and after peeing on the tiny little stick, I place the test stick on the bathroom counter. This one little stick now held my future in its hands. Three minutes. That is the amount of time that it would take to know if my life was going to change forever. I am scared shitless and feel like I am about to throw up again at the thought of this situation.

  “Well?” Michelle asks as I emerge from the bathroom.

  “Well what? It takes three minutes. It is not instantaneous,” I snap as my nerves begin to unravel at the seams. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that.”

  We both pace the floor back and forth outside of the bathroom as Michelle constantly checks her watch every few seconds.

  “Oh babe, I think I am going to get sick for you. What are you going to do? I mean if you are.”

  I sit down on the edge of my bed and start to hyperventilate.

  “Just breathe. Hey, look at me. It is going to be okay. If you are pregnant, you will get through this. You are strong and independent. You are financially stable. If anyone can handle a baby, it is you. And it's time.” I look up at her like she has lost her fucking mind.

  “What do you mean it's time? I didn't realize my biological clock was ticking. I still have plenty of time. This moment does not have to be my time. Maybe it's your time. I—” Michelle's laughter interrupts my insistent rambling.

  “Sweetie, I mean it's time to check the test.” I look at her and we both burst out in laughter. I laugh until I am balling. I can't stop the sobs that burst from my body. I do not want to look at the test.

  I stare at the bathroom door like it is some foreign entity in my house.

  I close my eyes and hold my breath. Exhale slowly.

  “Here goes nothing.”

  I walk into the bathroom and look down at that evil stick. Staring back at me is a little pink plus sign. What the fuck does that mean? I didn't even read the directions. I fall to my knees and dig the box out of the trash can. I pull out the pamphlet and when my eyes recognize the plus sign with the word pregnant beside it I immediately get up.

  I take the other test out of its box and pee on it. I pace the bathroom for less than a minute before the plus sign shows up on that stick. I toss both of them into the trash and wipe the tears from my eyes.

  “Summer....” Michelle knocks on the bathroom door as I open it.

  “They were duds. We need to go get some more.”

  “What do you mean they were duds?”

  “I mean they didn't even have a line in the test window. Now let's go.”

  A half hour later we stand there looking down at the plus sign on fourteen different sticks. Well there were plus signs, single straight lines, double straight lines, and even the word pregnant written out electronically. I had bought every type of test the store had and two of most of them.

  “I think we can safely assume that you are definitely pregnant,” Michelle says as she stares at the tests lined up on the bathroom counter. I catch when her eyes glance down to the trash can and spots the two tests I had discarded, “Wait just a minute. No you did not.” she looks at me with disbelief.

  “What? I thought they were wrong. Okay, maybe I was just hoping that they were wrong. What am I going to do? I just can't wrap my head around this.” My hand goes up to my belly as I turn to look at myself in the mirror. I am wrapped up in the sudden realization that there is a part of Damien, the man I love beyond reason, now growing inside of me.

  “Well, first thing you need to schedule a doctor's appointment. How long has it been? You know since you and Damien... did the deed?”

  “It's been three and a half, no wait, maybe four months. I'm not sure exac
tly.” Holy shit. I start doing the math in my head and all of a sudden I feel sick all over again. “Oh my God. I'm going to have a baby in like five months. Five months Michelle. That is not enough time to prepare for this.”

  Nothing in this world could prepare me for the way that my life is about to change. Doubt creeps inside my head. Am I ready to be a mom? How do I tell Damien? Do I tell him?

  He is just now ready to contemplate a life with me and telling him that I am pregnant could change everything. While he may think he is ready to open his heart up to me, could he be able to open his heart up to a child? All of his fears of letting me down was enough for him to run for the hills. But to go his whole life afraid of love because of the traumatic childhood he had was more than enough reason for me to question if he would be ready to be a parent. I was in a tough situation with no direction on which way to turn.

  “Look. You are not alone in this. No matter what you decide, you have your mom and you have me. You will get through this but I really think you owe it to Damien to let him make his own decision. Don't make the mistake of deciding for him. Only he knows what he can handle. You might be surprised. Trust your heart and trust that this happened for a reason.” Michelle's logic pulls me from all of my self-doubt. She is right. No matter what Damien decides to do with the information, he is the father and he deserves to know that he will have a child coming into this world. All I can do is let him know that we can handle this together. We can learn together and work as a team to give this child the best childhood he or she could possibly have.

  Now, figuring out how to break the news to him is another story. I have no idea how to do this. Somehow a phone call just seems too impersonal. I will have to go back to Dallas and do this in person. Deep down inside, I need to see for myself how he takes the news.

  “You are right Michelle. Looks like I will be going back to Texas for a few days but first I have to deal with the business of this shoot. There is no way I am going to be able to be in the show pregnant. I need to go see my agent and let them know what is going on. Look, I appreciate you being here. I can't thank you enough for being a friend and calming me down in the middle of a major meltdown. I am strong enough to do this. This might be the toughest job yet, but I have to believe that everything happens for a reason.”

  Michelle gives me a quick hug before she has to rush off to make the event that we should have been attending together and I place the dreaded call to my agent.

  An hour later I hang up the phone. I have been pulled from the show. I have taken the next five months off work to lay low and figure my shit out. I look around the loft and I feel the most alone that I have ever felt.

  I pick up the phone to make another call.

  “Summer. Hi, sweetheart. How is New York treating you?” my mom asks as soon as she picks up the phone.

  “Mom?” My mother is barely awake when she answers the phone but it doesn't take a genius to pick up on the fact that something isn't right.

  “Summer? What's wrong?”

  I begin to cry uncontrollably. The magnitude of the situation comes crashing down on me.

  “I have made a mess of things. I don't really know what to do. I need your advice, mom.” I cry into the phone.

  “What is it, baby? Just talk to me and we will figure it out together,” the worry in her voice only makes me more emotional.

  “Mom, I'm pregnant. What am I going to do with a baby? My life is ruined.” I sniffle as I blow into a Kleenex and try to calm my breathing.

  My mother screams with joy on the other end of the line.

  “Oh Summer. This is fantastic. Have you told Damien? When are you moving home? When do you need me to pick you up? This is so exciting. I knew you and Damien were always meant to be together.”

  If my mother wasn't awake before, she is now. Her questions are coming at me so fast I can't manage to utter a single word in response to any of them.

  “Mom!” I yell through the phone. “Wait a minute. You need to just breathe. No, I haven't told Damien. I didn't say that I was moving home. I just found out that a few minutes ago and you were the first call I made. I need time to process this. I don't really know how I feel about it and I haven't even decided yet if I am keeping it.”

  My mother's disapproval at the last comment was apparent by her eerie silence.

  “Mom?”

  “What in the hell do you mean you haven't decided if you are keeping it? Your father would put you over his lap if he were here. That child is a living breathing piece of you, Damien, your father, and not to mention me. You better suck it up, Summer. You laid down and made this baby, and it is time you grow the hell up and be accountable for the life you created.” I have never heard my mother speak to me in this tone. She is really pissed.

  I didn't mean I was having an abortion, but the option for adoption was still on the table. Yet no matter how many times I allowed myself to think about that, I just could not see that being the right choice for me. I knew better than anyone that I could not live with myself knowing my child was somewhere out in the world being tucked in at night by anyone other than me.

  My parents had done a hell of a job with me. They set a wonderful example for parents. I knew I could do this but fear is crippling and it makes you doubt yourself.

  “Mom, I am not giving my baby up. You were just going too fast with all the questions, it was overwhelming. I do plan on keeping it. I will be coming back to Dallas to tell Damien in person. That is the only plan I have so far. I don't know what I plan to do beyond that. I guess a lot will depend on how Damien takes the news. Speaking of Damien, why did you give him my phone number?” I wasn't going to let her get out of this one.

  “Darling, a lot has happened since you left. I think most of it is Damien's story to tell but I will tell you that he needed to hear your voice. He needed some hope. Summer, I know that Damien wasn't ready when you needed him to be. Baby, he has gone through hell since you left. He took the time you were away to do his own soul-searching and I really believe he is ready now. He loves you Summer, and you owe it to yourself to really hear him out. You have a chance at something real, don't let your pride cost you that.”

  Ugh! My mother in all her wisdom was right and I knew it deep down. I wanted Damien to just tell me he loved me. That night four months ago, I gave myself to him. I needed to get to him so I can see if he is willing to accept me and our child into his life.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Damien

  Marie is right. I couldn't give up that easily. I have slayed the demons that have been at my heels chasing me my entire life and now I stand so close to finding my own little piece of heaven on earth. The truth is, all of me, loves all of Summer. The things that would drive a sane person mad were the things that made me feel less insane. She is a perfect reflection of me. She is my counterpart and my life was revived the day Summer walked back into it. And if I am being honest, I could not fathom never having her sexy ass in my bed ever again.

  This is the end game. My last shot to own this woman's body and soul the way that she owns me. The day that I found myself connected to her in my bed, is the day that I lost my soul to this wickedly sinful woman.

  I pull the little box out of my pocket and open it. The light reflects brilliantly off of the clear cut beauty of the stone. I draw in a deep breath as I turn the ring between my fingers. The moment that I ask her to marry me, everything changes and there is no going back. I try to imagine what my life was like before her. I think about the women who have shared my bed and left me just as empty when I picked them up. I can't remember a single one of them ever invoking the need to envision a forever. Not a single person has ever touched me the way that Summer has. Her touch felt like home. Not the home that I suffered through as a child, but like the kind of home where I was always meant to be.

  I am totally and utterly lost in all that is Summer. She is an enigma. She is mine and if she thinks for one second that I am going to accept the fact that she is just g
oing to walk away from me she is mistaken. She is the other half of me that I have been missing and now that I know what it is like to be whole again, I am not going to walk another day in this life the broken man that I was before she forced herself inside the walls I had barricaded myself in.

  “So you are really ready to do this huh?” Cash's voice broke through my thoughts. He is excited for me and nervous at the same time. The poor guy has seen the best and the worst of me and understands how much Summer has changed me.

  “Yes. That woman is going to be the death of me if I don't make her mine.”

  “Well for what it's worth, I think that you couldn't have found a more perfect match suited for you. That girl is a handful and she has just enough fire to handle you when you get out of line. I am looking forward to seeing the domesticated side of you. She really does make you a better person.” He couldn't have said it more perfectly. Summer is the good in me. She drives me to up my game, be a better person, and challenges me to overcome the impossible. Now, the challenge ahead of me, is to get her to say yes.

  The thought has occurred to me that she could say no but there is still a part of me that will never change. I don't like to lose. The only loss that I am willing to accept is that she forced my eyes open. I was the one that fell first when I tried to resist time and time again.

  “Yeah. There is that. Good luck with that bro. Just call me if you need anything. You know like a ride to the hospital or something. I'm serious. After what you put her through, she might kick your ass.” We both laugh nervously. There is always that possibility. This woman is a hell cat and I wouldn't blame her if she wanted to give me what I deserved.

  “Alright, bro. I will catch you on the flip side. I have to get to the airport if I plan to make this flight.”

  “Seriously, Damien, good luck and bring your woman home.” Cash slaps me on the shoulder with encouragement.