Unconventional Heroes 2 - Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord

by L. G. Estrella

  Old Man blinked. He shook his head slowly. “What a voice you have. Yes, you’ll do. From now on, whenever we stop in a town or village, you will perform. It won’t be long before Lord Taylor asks for you.” He stroked his white beard. “But perhaps you should sing something a little less… bawdy?”

  Avraniel growled at the smug look on Katie’s face. She’d been played, and they all knew it. “Only if she has to do something too. I’m not suffering on my own.” She jabbed one finger at Katie. “I know you, twerp, I bet you can play an instrument. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  “Um…” Suddenly the thought of Avraniel having to sing wasn’t funny anymore. “Well…”

  Timmy cackled. “She can play the violin.”

  “Master!” Katie wailed. “Don’t tell them that!” She glared. “If I have to play an instrument, then so does he. He can play the banjo.”

  “The banjo?” Avraniel snorted. “You play the banjo? Please don’t tell me that you’re one of those mopey necromancers, you know, the ones who sit in darkness all day writing bad songs about how the whole world has gone to hell and how everyone you love has left you.”

  “No, I am not one of those necromancers.” Timmy made a face. “I only learned how to play the banjo because I needed to smuggle a weapon into a conference of song mages, and a flute was too small to hide a shovel in.”

  “That does sound more like you.”

  “We can make this work,” Gerald said. “I do have some violins and banjos stored away with my magic, and I can play the tambourine.”

  They all turned to stare at him.

  “The tambourine?” Avraniel asked. “That’s the instrument you know how to play?”

  Gerald cringed. “I tried most of the others, but I wasn’t any good with them. I’m passable with a tambourine.”

  “Well, it’s settled then.” Timmy laughed. “We’re going to be the most ridiculous bunch of performers Lord Taylor has ever seen. Say, Old Man, I don’t suppose you can sing or play an instrument, can you?”

  “I can’t play any instruments,” Old Man replied. “But I can sing. Here, listen.”

  Ten seconds later, Timmy was wishing he hadn’t asked. “Okay… I guess we should leave all the singing to Avraniel.”

  “I wasn’t that bad, was I?” Old Man asked. “I’ve never heard any complaints about my singing before.” He paused and stroked his beard. “Then again, I do usually travel on my own.”

  “That would explain it then.” Timmy’s expression sobered. “So, how have things been in Lord Taylor’s territory? Is it really as bad as we’ve heard?”

  For the first time since they’d met him, there was no warmth or mirth in Old Man’s gaze. For a split-second, Timmy could have sworn he was looking into the eyes of a dragon, not some odd, eccentric, old merchant. Then the moment passed, and Old Man lifted one of the rats up, so it could sit on his shoulder. The rat squeaked appreciatively and settled down to enjoy the view.

  “These mountains have always been a tough place to live,” Old Man murmured. “And the people here have always been strange, but they have never felt evil before. They feel evil now. So many of them have become sullen and discontented, and not simply because of Lord Taylor’s cruel rule. No, there is something more at work here, and your councillors are right to worry. Those few who will talk about it have whispered of changes in the behaviour of Lord Taylor’s forces, of doings that hint at direr things still to come. Something terrible is happening here. I’m sure of it.”

  “Then we’ll have our work cut out for us.” Timmy nodded at the rat on Old Man’s shoulder. “You might want to be careful. That one likes explosives.”

  “Oh?” Old Man’s eyes crinkled. “Perhaps, little rat, you could show me some time. It’s been a while since I’ve seen fireworks.”

  * * *

  Katie wasn’t sure what to make of Old Man. He talked a lot, but he never seemed to give very much away. She was used to reading people since her master had insisted she learn. It could, he claimed, save her life one day, which would save him the trouble of finding a new apprentice. Most of the time, Old Man seemed like a kind, harmless, old man, albeit a bit eccentric. But a harmless, old man wouldn’t have spotted the rats so easily or taken everything in his stride the way he had. She was certain that he knew who Avraniel was, but he wasn’t the least bit worried about her. That simply wasn’t normal. Even scary people were scared of Avraniel.

  Still, Old Man was right about the people here. They hadn’t run into any patrols yet, but they were getting closer to one of the outlying towns. The people they’d passed were an unpleasant bunch, walking around muttering with their heads bowed and their eyes darting from side to side. There was something wrong with the magic here as well. It made the rats uneasy, and they had even keener magical senses than she did.

  What worried her was the demonic energy she sensed was too strong to have been from an ancient battle. If it had been, it wouldn’t fluctuate so much. To have this much demonic magic fluctuating meant that something new was happening. Demonic magic almost invariably drove its users insane and evil. The fact that the people here had to live with so much of it around them probably explained their sour disposition. It was possible that Lord Taylor had already given in to his demonic half.

  It was also depressing just being here. Black Tower Castle might have had some twisted and bizarre-looking trees – even before Avraniel had moved in – but at least it had trees. There were no trees or large plants of any kind here. The biggest plant they’d seen so far was a scrawny bush with strange grey leaves. The animals here were little better. The lone wolf that had staggered out from behind a rock to attack them had been so scrawny and weakened by hunger that Katie had actually felt bad enough to save it from the rats – who wanted to make wolf stew – before giving it some scraps. Avraniel had suggested they make a coat out of the wolf before realising how shabby its pelt was.

  As night fell, they settled under a rocky overhang that cut off the wind. There were no clouds, but the moon was dimmer and more menacing here than she was used to. Unless her eyes deceived her, it was a faint, almost bloody, orange. On the upside, Old Man was a good cook, and he wasn’t above taking suggestions from the rats. As they got dinner ready, Avraniel read through the song lyrics that Gerald had given her, glaring at them nastily the entire time while she muttered something about killing all of them before ever becoming a respectable singer. Katie would have to ask the rats to keep an eye on the elf at all times. She wanted to live long enough to overthrow her master.

  “Here.” Old Man handed Katie a bowl of rice topped by an assortment of meat and vegetables. “A little girl like you needs to eat up to grow big and strong.”

  “I’m not that little,” Katie replied archly. “And you’re not that big.”

  He laughed. It was true though. If she was feeling exceptionally generous, she might say that he was five feet and ten inches tall – and that was assuming he could stand up straight although he normally walked with a slight hunch. “Fair enough, but you should still eat. I’ve lived through a lot of things, and I’ve learned that you should always eat when there is food to be had since you never know when times will get tough.” He gestured at the rats. They were divvying up a bowl of food amongst themselves. “And your little friends would not be pleased. They made several good suggestions.” He tapped his bowl with one finger. “I can’t help but wonder where they came from.”

  As dinner continued, Avraniel wandered off to practice, and Katie asked about bonsai trees. In the background, she could hear the flowing, melodious lyrics of a classic elf ballad interspersed with vicious swearing in several different languages. It was strangely appealing.

  “Why do you care so much about bonsai trees?” Katie asked.

  “Do you know how I got them?” Katie shook her head. Old Man grinned and stroked his beard. “Well, let me tell you a tale. It may take your mind off how badly our elf friend is mangling some of the greatest songs ever written by her peo
ple.”

  Katie giggled. “Sure, I’d be happy to hear how you got them.” None of the books she’d read had told her much about where bonsai trees came from, but all of them had talked about how hard they were to take care of. Even the slightest mistake could kill them, and they never grew very large. As someone who’d spent her childhood around zombies, Katie was very much of the opinion that size often mattered. Then again, she wasn’t particularly large, and she liked to believe she was handy to have around. Her master wasn’t big either, and he could definitely hold his own against almost anything. Of course, although neither of them was very large, they could both make zombies that were very large and very scary. She bit back a cackle. She couldn’t wait to make another zombie titan. Maybe they could even make one that flew.

  “Bonsai trees are mainly found far to the east of here, and they do not usually grow in places that are very easy to reach. Their rarity is what makes them so valuable, Little Miss.” Katie twitched at his use of the nickname. It was bad enough that Avraniel called her twerp. Now, he had a nickname for her too. She was supposed to be a fearsome and deadly – albeit small – necromancer. “I spent much of my youth scouring the land for bonsai trees, not content to simply harvest the seeds from bonsai trees that belonged to others. Yet even in my homeland, I could not find any that met my exacting standards. So I sailed west, through troubled waters, to find a perfect bonsai tree.”

  “You’re making that up.” Avraniel’s shout came from somewhere to their right. Of course, the elf could hear them, Katie thought. Elves were notorious for their keen senses. “You probably just grabbed the first one you saw.”

  “I can assure you that I did not.” Old Man smiled wistfully. “At last, after many years of wandering through foreign lands and fighting countless battles, I heard rumours of a magnificent bonsai tree, the finest in the entire world, which would soon be bearing seeds. Alas, it was atop a towering mountain that was infested with deadly animals. Hydras, basilisks, salamanders, and even dragons were said to make their homes upon its jagged slopes.” He gazed off into the distance. “Yes, it would be a difficult journey, but I was determined to make it. I braved tearing winds, driving rain, and seemingly endless snow for weeks with nothing more than a tattered bag of supplies and a gnarled walking stick.”

  Katie didn’t believe a single word he said, but he told the story with such enthusiasm that it was impossible not to enjoy it. “What happened next?”

  Old Man puffed out his chest and struck a heroic pose. “Well, I was still a young man back then, so I was much more formidable than I am now. Taking my trusty walking stick, I fought my way up the mountain, slaying any monster that dared challenge me.” He waved his spoon around for emphasis, drawing amused chuckles from the rats. “For seven days and seven nights I fought my way up the mountain, fighting my foes and the weather. Hail began to fall, and lightning split the skies. Yet I continued to climb, determined to reach my goal.”

  “That sounds like a bunch of crap to me!” Avraniel shouted.

  “Why don’t you practice your singing instead of eavesdropping?” Katie shouted back.

  “Oh, shut up, twerp!”

  “No, you shut up!” Katie ducked as a burning piece of scrunched up paper flew toward her. She waited for one of the rats to throw some dirt on it before she turned back to Old Man. “Please, continue.”

  “When I finally reached the top of the mountain, I found that a great dragon had coiled around the summit where the bonsai tree was. I couldn’t risk fighting it – its fire could easily destroy the tree – so I devised a cunning plan. Using some of the food I had left, I lured the dragon into the path of a hydra and a basilisk. While the three monsters fought, I took as many of the tree’s seeds as I could and fled down the mountain.”

  “What did you do then?” Gerald asked. The bureaucrat had moved to sit beside Katie, and he was busy writing down every word Old Man spoke.

  “A fine question, Gerald. The seeds of a bonsai tree do not sprout quickly. Indeed, I still have the tree that sprouted from the very first seed I took. I’ve taken care of it all these years.” He nodded at his wagons. “It took me many years, but the bonsai trees I have now are either from those seeds I took or descendants from the trees that grew from those seeds. Yes, it has been no easy task caring for them all these years. They are very picky about what soil they grow in, how much sunlight they receive, and even how much water they get. They barely made it through the first few years while I learned how best to care for them.”

  Avraniel marched back into camp. She hurled the book of lyrics at Gerald’s head. It was only Katie’s quick reflexes – and a shadowy hand – that saved the man from a concussion. “There, I’ve learned them.”

  “All of them?” Gerald gaped. There were dozens of songs in there. “Already?”

  “What can I say, idiot? I’m a genius.” Avraniel jerked her head at Old Man. “If your bonsai trees are so valuable, how come people aren’t trying to steal them?”

  Old Man took a sip of water. “A well-kept bonsai tree is certainly a fine prize, but if cared for improperly, it will swiftly die and become worthless. Each bonsai tree has its own preferences. That is why they are not stolen often – only I know the exact conditions under which they will thrive, conditions that I am more than happy to divulge to paying customers.” He glanced around, and his gaze came to a rest on the barren mountainside. “I’m almost tempted to plant a few here. A bonsai tree or two might liven this place up. It is a pity that I sold some to Lord Taylor, but he seemed… less insane when I first met him.”

  “And on that note,” Timmy said. “We need to get some sleep. Who wants first watch?”

  “I’ll take it.” Katie liked having first watch. It let her sleep the rest of the night, and she had more questions for Old Man.

  “I shall take first watch too,” Old Man said. He patted his back. “I’m too old to be getting up in the middle of the night.”

  As the others got ready to sleep, Old Man took a spot by the fire. Katie was amused to see that he’d brought one of his bonsai trees with him. The plant was nestled against his side. He ran his fingers through its leaves, which glowed softly in the firelight.

  “Is that normal?” she asked. Not far away, Rembrandt was helping Cezanne arrange the pot they’d commandeered from Gerald to sleep in. “The glowing, I mean.”

  “Ah, yes.” He patted a spot beside him. “Have a seat.” She sat next to him. This close, she could feel his magic. There wasn’t a lot of it – only a trickle – but it had a sure, strong feeling to it. “I must admit that I was surprised when I met you. It isn’t everyday that I meet such a young necromancer with such interesting attire.”

  “My glasses are –”

  “Unusual but totally your choice.” He chuckled and gave his bonsai tree a gentle pat. “You are, after all, the person who has to wear them. They might even help our cause. I daresay that no one will expect a necromancer to be wearing pink glasses. One man’s potato is another man’s tomato.”

  She giggled. “Um, you do realise that a potato and a tomato are totally different things, right?”

  “And some would say that bright pink glasses are totally different from normal glasses.” He nodded at Avraniel. “From what I’ve heard of what she was wearing, she must have been a huge target on the battlefield.”

  “Gerald must have told you about that.” Katie snickered. “But I think that’s the point. She knows she can handle whoever comes after her, so she makes it easier for them to find her. It’s quicker that way, and she gets to spend the rest of her time doing what she wants.”

  “Yes, Avraniel strikes me as a very capable woman.” Old Man looked down at his plant. “Which is why I’m happy she doesn’t seem overly interested in my bonsai trees. I’m not sure they could survive her attention.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Gerald told me about the garden she has at your castle. I prefer plants that can’t eat people.”

  “So do most people, but her plants like
her a lot.” Katie shrugged. “It makes sense. She’s not like other elves.”

  “Indeed she is not.” Old Man lifted his bonsai tree onto his lap, his hands keeping a firm hold of the plant’s pot. “The thing about bonsai trees, Little Miss, is that they react to magic. If you feed them your magic long enough, they learn to respond to it and channel it. This is the oldest plant I have, the very first to sprout from the seeds I took so many years ago. I would name it, but I still haven’t come up with a better name than Old Plant.”

  “Why am I not surprised you’d name it something like that?” Katie tilted her head to one side. “It’s pretty small. Is it really not going to get any bigger?”

  “Appearances can be deceiving.” Old Man nodded sagely and stroked his beard. It was supposed to make him look wise, but the teasing light in his eyes made him look amusing instead. “After all, is not the most beautiful flower, the one that blooms last of all?”

  Katie made a face. “You seem to like proverbs, but I don’t think that one fits. I mean this was the first bonsai tree to grow, and it’s not going to get any bigger.”

  “You might be right.” He nodded again and went back to stroking his beard. “How about this? Good things come in small packages.”

  She giggled. “That’s better, but I still don’t think it fits. Do you always talk like this?”

  Old Man gave her a look of utmost seriousness although the expression was spoiled when she noticed that one of the rats was sleeping on his hat. “Wisdom is much like a tree, Little Miss. The older it gets, the bigger it is – and then somebody comes along and chops it down with an axe.”

  “I guess that’s a yes.”

  He laughed and reached up to pluck the rat off his head before gently putting the slumbering rodent on Katie’s lap. “When you get to my age, you learn to suffer life’s little indignities with a smile. Anything else will drive you crazy. So, what else did you want to ask me? I’m assuming that’s why you asked for first watch.”