To-Do Him List

by Denise Marie

  To the prettiest woman in the place,

  Okay. Okay. I’ll stop. From here on, you’re on your own babe. I don’t know whether you have noticed but Kevin should still be somewhere in the background. If any of these fools try to hurt you, he’s your go-to person. Have fun.

  Love you, <— Deal with it.

  Cole

  She read the last part over again, a few times. I love you too, Cole. She couldn’t wait to tell him, to his face.

  Taryn ensured, as always, nothing but the most delicious drinks were delivered to their table. Isabelle beamed with undiluted happiness. Sure, a lot of it to do with the alcohol and friends but, she was in love again. They gave quite the show for the nosey spectators as they shimmied around the dark, speckled with black lights, dance floor. He was right. She spotted Kevin not long after the note, hadn’t at all until that point. She tipped her head back with her eyes closed, and swayed to the music. Sweat beaded her skin. The familiar scenario calmed her. Home. The occasional camera flashed throughout the night, right before Kevin yanked it away from the meddler. He had arranged for this night to be hers, and hers alone.

  “I need another drink,” She hollered over the music and shuffled through the crowd to their table, at the side of the dance floor. Their private server, of course, arrived with drinks before they were all seated.

  “So, where are the Scandals tonight?” Abigail yelled.

  The music grew louder as the night progressed. “New York.” Her voice scratched, not very audible. The smile on Katherine’s face fell as she turned to the dance floor. Isabelle leaned over, close enough to speak into her best friends’ ear. “What’s up?” She shook her head, but still didn’t make eye contact. “Katherine?”

  With her attention still averted to the crowd, she swayed closer to Isabelle. “I follow gossip for a living.”

  Isabelle shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, so?”

  A chill hit her when Katherine downed her drink and slammed the glass on the table. “Cole has an ex-girlfriend. Pictures have been taken of the two of them together every year he’s in New York.”

  She sat back in her chair, stunned. The congested dance floor that held Katherine’s attention seconds ago, now held hers. Nothing could have prepared her for that. Yes, he mentioned a girlfriend while he was in school, but nothing about still being involved with her. Tears filled her eyes. “What’s her name?” She rummaged through her purse.

  “Alexis.”

  She glanced up at Katherine’s eyes, filled with sadness, regret even. She raised her chin high, held the phone tight, and avoided the person who could change her mind. She would not cry over a man that wasn’t hers to begin with. He lived life well before her, yes, but she still felt a little betrayed. She glared down at her phone and took a deep breath.

  Thank you for everything. You shouldn’t have, really. Hope your visit with Alexis is as memorable as last year and the many before that. Izzy

  She shoved the phone back in her purse and stiffened when three sets of concerned eyes locked on her. “I’m ready to call it a night, ladies.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Dear Diary,

  Through my tears, honor filled the horizon…

  The phone crashed to the floor, back cover skidding one way, battery and phone another. Cole’s hands shook and the sweat he’d just finished washing off, coated his skin once again. His heart fell with the phone and his breath stopped the second he read her message. He scrambled for the nearest chair, and sat with a towel wrapped around his waist. His knee bounced harder than ever.

  “Holy shit. What’s up with you, man? You’re white as a ghost.”

  He raised his head to see Drew, who’d just slammed into the larger than usual wardrobe room with a laugh, in time to catch sight of the tear that slipped down his face. He wiped it fast with the back of his hand. “She knows about Alexis, just texted me to have fun with her.” He put his elbows to his knees, head down, when the room spun.

  “Fuck man. I’m sorry.”

  Flashes of dinner earlier with Alexis ran through his mind. He told her about Isabelle, that he loved her. The smile plastered on her face since meeting him at the airport vanished the second the words left his lips. They talked about their past together, her bipolar disorder, now medicated and under control, that only he and the guys had knowledge of.

  He shook his head and stared at the concrete floor.

  He’d stormed out on her, after going back to his dorm and finding her on her knees for his roommate. Yet, he held her hand in psych wards and maintained a friendship until now. He avoided comments to the paparazzi for years about her. Their need to dig would only hurt her, so he protected her. With Isabelle, he came up short, should have protected her from himself. He stared at Drew; there would already be pictures online somewhere of him and Alexis. “How do I fix this?”

  Drew picked up the pieces of his phone, put it back together, and handed it to him. “You’ll find a way, man.”

  He stared at the phone. “You guys were pissed seeing Alexis. I know you were. I put you in this mess. I’m sorry.”

  Drew huffed on his way to the door, opened it, and appeared to try his best not to be mad before he glared back. “Yes, you fucked up and dragged us down with you. Do something about it.”

  His gaze held on the closed door. A silent scream obstructed his breath, and his phone weighted his hand like a tempted object to throw—a temper tantrum. Rock stars could get away with shit like that, right? Instead, he gripped his lifeline and took a deep breath. He’d found the strength to forgive Alexis, although determined he would never invest his heart again, but he had. And now, he may have broken it without any fault but his own.

  He dialed her number and held the phone to his ear but her voice message played, no ring. She’d shut off her phone. He left a brief message, “call me please,” and stood up and paced with reluctance to the bathroom counter. He stared at regret in the mirror. Tomorrow’s flight couldn’t come fast enough.

  ****

  A pin dropped would have produced more noise than what took place in the car. The girls shuffled in their seats as if unspoken words haunted them, but none dared to surface.

  Derek and Kevin helped the girls onto the bus.

  “You ladies are going to have quite the hangovers tomorrow.” Due to Derek’s fatherly tone, the tears she’d held back slid down her cheek.

  She twisted in his grasp. “Did you know about New York, too?” Her words were slurred, sad.

  His averted gaze said it all. She let go of him and used the wall for support the rest of the way to the bathroom. The door, left open, allowed her to hear Katherine and Derek’s words.

  “My fault. Should have kept my big mouth shut.”

  Isabelle shook her head, placed her toothbrush on the counter, and spit in the sink. What is it about drunkenness that influences the ugly cries? Katherine’s sniffles were loud.

  “No honey. He should have told her. It isn’t your fault. Drink this water and get some sleep.”

  “Still—”

  She didn’t want to hear anymore. She slammed the light switch, barged down the aisle and climbed into her bunk, not his. Her eyes were sore, and the tears wouldn’t stop. Her mind screamed over the sound of the girls as they stumbled about, and got settled into bed.

  He said he loved me. One of many lies, maybe?

  Anger consumed her, wouldn’t let go of its grip until she yanked out her phone and booked a flight home the next day with the girls. She buried her phone under her pillow and lay on top of it, thankful for the consumption of alcohol or sleep wouldn’t have come otherwise.

  ****

  She drifted not long before the buzz sounded. Not so much from her head, anymore, but the alarm she’d set. She’d endure her last moments on the bus alone; pack before the girls could talk her out of it. She tiptoed around the bus to collect her things, astounded how fast she’d settled in. She took a deep breath and wiped another tear just as several alarm clocks sou
nded, followed by unhappy groans.

  She sat at the table that now brought heartache instead of happiness, waited with her guard in place. One by one, they climbed out of the bunks, cursing. She laughed, a little. The image before her couldn`t be more similar to the men who most days occupied the narrow beds.

  As expected Katherine, Abigail, and Taryn stood frozen with confused stares. Her suitcase sat on the floor at her side. “Well, get a move on, girls. Our flight leaves in two hours.” She put on her most collected smile but she wasn’t an award-winning actress by any means.

  “No.” Katherine’s authoritative voice always made them jump.

  “Yes. I only have two items left on my list. I can manage back in Tampa. I have taken up enough of the Scandals time and money. Besides, my flight is already booked, non-refundable. I will always be thankful for the kindness and friendship Cole has offered me.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I am just some woman he met on the Internet, a charity case.”

  Taryn grabbed Katherine’s arm when she raised it to rebuttal. “No. If she wants to come home, let her. She’s right. There isn’t anything left undone she needs the Scandals for that we can’t help her with.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “We need her, too.”

  She locked gazes with Taryn and mouthed, thank you. Taryn’s reasons did not match her own but she was okay with that, as long as she could get on the plane and not face the man who’d broken her heart. She glanced down at her phone on the table, considered the messages she assumed were on it, but tucked it into her purse.

  “I’ll be in the car with Derek. Don’t be long.” She raised the handle on her suitcase and stalked away with it trailing behind on wheels. The swift stride of her departure didn’t distract her from the heavyhearted stares at her back.

  Derek opened the door to the van. He didn’t ask any questions late last night when she sent him a text to ask for a ride to the airport. His wife and daughter, for the short time he had them, must have taught him well about a woman’s limits, breaking points.

  “Isabelle?” He closed her door and got in behind the wheel. Much liked she’d witnessed many times, he checked the rear-view mirror. Only this time his hesitant smile was for her. “Are you sure?”

  She drew her sunglasses off her head and covered her puffy, watery eyes. “Yes, I am. There were pictures online last night. It would appear he enjoyed his night. I’m happy for him, really.”

  She smiled and rubbed her arms. “Thank you, for everything. You’re an amazing man. Just what the Scandals need. Oh, wait.” She picked her bag up off the floor at her feet and retrieved a box, held it out to him over the seat, and scooted to the edge of her own so she could see. “Here, please accept this, as a thank you.”

  He opened the box to reveal a black velvet bag. He tipped it in his hand and a silver compass fell out. The inside lid of the compass held a copy of the picture he took with him everywhere, his wife and daughter. The inscription read you never know when you will find what you were never looking for in the first place.

  He closed his hand around it and raised his head with his eyes closed. When he opened them again and smiled back at her, his eyes were red. “Isabelle,” he swallowed. “I have no idea how you managed this but from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”

  She sat back against her seat and fixed her anguish out the window. “I’m pretty sure I do.”

  He climbed out of the car to help the girls with their bags, and mumbled, “Cole is in deep shit.”

  The ride to the airport couldn’t have been quicker, and now she paced. Kevin stood at his post, a discreet distance away. The guys’ flight was scheduled to come in just as theirs left. She didn’t want to see him; he’d change her mind. Their flight was called over the intercom. She forced her breath in and out as they made their way aboard. Today’s headache could be the result of many reasons. The window seat, which she always loved, now displayed what she could only assume was his plane, and he wouldn’t be happy about missing her. She reclined in her seat and relaxed, well, kind of.

  Katherine nudged her and handed over some pills with a bottle of water. “For the headache.”

  She glanced down at the familiar pills and back up again.

  “I haven’t forgotten what they look like.”

  “Thank you.” She took the pills, swallowed, and then lowered the back of her seat. The darkness from her closed eyes simulated the day’s end. Splendid.

  ****

  “Where is she?” he yelled at Derek as he ran through the terminal, bumping shoulders on his way.

  Derek pointed to the plane taking off on the tarmac.

  “Fuck.”

  He’d blow up at Derek for not stopping her, but it wouldn’t be right; it wasn’t his fault. He dropped his bag and fell into a chair. He’d been an ass all morning trying to rush everyone, and he still missed her.

  “I’ll be right back.” He jumped from his seat. Everyone else sat down and rested with their eyes closed.

  ****

  She shifted in her seat several times. Weeks ago, she would’ve cursed the side effects of her medication but now she craved them. She couldn’t sleep.

  “Ugh.”

  “Ms. Chambers?”

  She jerked to the nice woman and covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be quiet.” Without him at her side, being the center of attention didn’t feel the same. Her gaze roamed from the cordial attendant to the many passengers who paused to cast their glance her way. She rubbed her arms but it didn’t produce the same level of comfort, they weren’t his arms. No blanket they’d bring her would smell like him.

  The attendant laughed. “No, that’s okay. Would you mind coming with me for a minute?”

  “Sure.” She braced her hands on the armrests and stood up. Her pulse, that’d calmed not long ago, raced once again. A quick glance at her friends confirmed they also had no clue. She followed behind the nice woman at a snail’s pace toward the front of the plane, through the attendants’ quarters.

  A brunette with the nametag reading Sylvia greeted her. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Chambers.” Shit. What’d I do wrong?

  When the flight attendant who retrieved her from her seat waved, all eyes stared at her, unable to force another step. She scurried ahead out of embarrassment, in front of a white door beside the lady while she knocked. A very handsome man opened it. He held his hand out to her as if he’d expected her, so she shook it, still confused.

  “Hello, Ms. Chambers. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

  “I, uh, I, hello?” She narrowed her eyes when he laughed. How dare he? Men suck.

  “My name is Daniel. I’m the co-pilot of this aircraft today.” He pointed behind him. “This is Jared, the pilot.”

  She smiled at them both with her eyebrows raised. If they are smart enough to fly a damn plane, why can’t they see I have no fucking clue what’s going on?

  “It has come to our attention you have a wish to learn how to fly.”

  She closed her eyes; it all made sense. “Cole.” When she opened her eyes, they nodded, and offered her a seat in the co-pilot chair.

  “Yes ma’am. Cole Davies is a very generous and stubborn man. His only concern seems to be you, and by the sincerity on your face, the feeling is mutual.”

  She wiped at the warm tears that slipped down her cheeks. Apparently, she still had a few to spare. She sat in the chair and glared at all of the controls in front of her. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience. We don’t have to do this. I can just go back to my seat.” She rose from the seat, but was stopped by Daniel’s gentle hand on her shoulder. Jared’s interest in her suggested some uncertainty, too. She obliged at their gracious smiles and sat, distracted by the soft appearance of the clouds ahead. How much of her story did they know?

  “It is not an inconvenience at all. Sit back and relax, I’ll explain a few things before we get to the good stuff. Okay?”

  What else was she supposed to do? It wasn’t as easy
as one would expect. Cole demanded her attention, even when not there. How did he manage this? What is he doing? Does he miss me? Is he with her?

  “Are you ready?” Jared chuckled. “There is a lot more to it than I can show you in a few minutes, but with your hands on the yoke and the flip of a button, we will be at your mercy.”

  She snapped her attention back at him. “Yoke?”

  He laughed and pointed in front of her. “Steering wheel.”

  “Oh. Sorry.” She held onto the wheel tight, her knuckles whitened and her heart raced.

  “Are you ready?”

  She checked behind her to make sure Daniel stayed close by—always good to have backup. She took her hand off the wheel for one quick second to make sure the tears were good and gone. “Sorry for the tears. This is all a little overwhelming. The view is beautiful.” She took a deep breath. “Ready.”

  She gripped the wheel, soared with a front seat view. Flew a plane.

  Daniel stood over her shoulder and gave clear instructions on what to do next. His calm directions were easy to follow. She was on top of the world. Only a few minutes passed but her nerves were making her stomach do flip flops, not the good ones. “I think that’s enough flying for me, guys. You can take over now.” She glanced at Jared and then back out the window, as if she could run into something if she weren’t attentive. “Please.”

  When he told her she was good to let go, she stood and changed spots with Daniel. There were too many buttons and in all likelihood she’d hit one and not the right one either. “Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. I have a great respect for the job you do and all the people you take responsibility for.”

  Something in Jared’s mindful nature warmed her, genuine compassion, not the sympathy she expected. “Are you going to be okay, Isabelle?”

  She smiled, leaned over, and kissed his cheek. “No, but I’ve accepted that.”