by JA Huss
"I promised to bring the Siblings back from Earth if they let me stay. Who'd have fucking thought that I'd be bummed about being sent back to Earth." I look up at her. "But I am."
"Then why did you volunteer?"
"I had to. I think they were gonna kill me, Tessen."
I leave and go over to my bunk. Isec's bunk hasn't changed from when I woke up, but he's either sleeping or pretending to be asleep and has his back to me. That's OK with me. I can't face him right now anyway. I change into my bed clothes and lie down, thinking about tomorrow until I drift off.
The next morning there is no alarm, but we all wake early. I sit on the side of my bunk moving my almost healed ankle around in circles and looking around at everyone, then get up and take my shower and dress in my uniform. I grab all my junk in my cubbie and take it over to my bed. I don't know what will happen after the battle, but I want to sort through things before we have to leave.
I find a bunch of notes from Lucan and the guys that I never saw. From after the first testimony when I was mad. It seems so long ago, that fight with Ashur. I sort the stuff out into three bags and leave them at the foot of my bed.
And then I sit there. Just like everyone else. And we do absolutely nothing until the call comes to line up for the fight.
The prep room is small and the markings on the floor are back. This time they have a moon shape and they line us up in a crescent, all facing the same direction. I am in the middle somewhere, between Annun and Tessen. Neither Kush nor Isec are talking to me this morning and I don't even note where they are in line.
I feel the silence before start, and swallow as we are shunted upward. We erupt into a large arena that I recognize as the free-G room where Ashur taught me to fly, but the perimeter is filled with people. The mushrooms that I practiced flying and jumping on have been turned on their sides and they flank us, five on one side and five on the other. My feet are stuck to the floor and I jump a little as the observers begin to clap politely.
Annun looks down at me and I shake my head and shrug. I see Ashur and the guys in the center, behind Lucan, and then as I look around I see other Archers, with their personal Aves teams sitting behind them. I even see Rache and his guys. Monk catches my gaze and waves. Behind the Archers are more warriors.
Lucan puts up a hand and the room goes silent. "Welcome to Fight Seven of the 2153 General Fledge. We are here today to declare a winner and choose a new team of Aves warriors."
The Aves clap until Lucan begins to speak. "We will begin with the winner." He backs away and Ashur comes forward. "The 039 is proud to declare that Junco, Aves 039, is the winner of the 2153 General Fledge with a total of eighty-seven kills."
My vision falters at the number. Eighty-seven people dead because of me playing this game.
"Junco, please come forward."
I feel my feet come unstuck and I walk up the stairs to Ashur. He shakes my hand, a very human congratulations, then kisses me on both cheeks and places a medal around my neck.
"Choose the warrior you would have first on your team."
I take deep breath. Here we go. I look at each of my fellow pledges as my eyes move down the line. Isec refuses to look at me, Kush is angry, and Tessen smiles. I smile back at her. "I choose Annun."
Ashur squeezes my shoulder and bends into my ear. "Well done, Junco. Come with me now."
He flies over to the first mushroom across the room and I follow. When we get there I hover for a second and then he pushes me back and I am locked against the stone. Unable to move.
Annun is beckoned to the stage and the process is repeated.
"I choose Merkar."
"I choose Pike."
"I choose Kush."
Kush stands on the stage and we wait as he looks down the line. I stare at him, glad he's on the hot seat for once. Not so fucking easy when it's you who has to make the choice.
He chooses someone I don't even know and I huff out some air. Ashur looks back at me but I shake my head.
The next kid chooses his friend.
And the next kid chooses his friend. All pledges I can't even identify by name. That guy chooses Wyrd.
Wyrd walks to the stage and takes a hard swallow to shut down his panic and relief. There is only one spot left and six hopeful faces look up to him, begging for a chance. "I choose Tessen." She screams and I feel the relief wash over me. Since she is the last she is escorted to the final mushroom, directly across from where I stand. I catch her eye and smile. Then look over to Isec and my face falls. He's crying.
My back comes unstuck from the stone and then Lucan is talking to me. "Junco, Aves 039, please come forward."
I fly over and land next to him. Ashur shadows me and stands behind us. "Junco, as the Fledge captain, it is your responsibility to cull the unsuitable members."
My heart pounds as I look up at him.
"Do you understand, Junco?" he asks me kindly and in a low voice.
I nod and whisper, "Yes, sir."
I look up into the crowd, to judge them, but I come away unsatisfied. There is nothing but sympathy for me. There are no hoots or hollers now, no clapping, no laughing or smiling. Only pity. I look over to Annun and he nods and I read his lips as they say, "Show them, Junco."
To his credit, Lucan stands patiently and watches me sort through the reality of what I have to do. I look down for a minute and bring back Annun's words in the church... And when the last battle comes, we'll do what we have to because it's these shitty fucking moments that will show what we're made of.
My breath comes faster as I walk down the stairs, then walk behind the pledges and remove my SEAR from my stomach. I hear the crowd gasp and whisper as I activate it and dial it down to dagger size.
I cut their heads off from behind. The crackle of the plasma through tissue sends tendrils of burning flesh up into the air and I watch as the entire arena wrinkles their collective nose at me.
When I get to Isec he's crying hysterically and I know that if his feet were not stuck to the floor, he'd be running from me like those girls Ashur is forever watching in his horror screens.
I step out in front of him, to at least look him in the eyes, but he squeezes them shut, tightly sealed from reality. His tears drop down his cheeks as I remove his head. And then I shut down the SEAR and stick it under my shirt and stand there, looking down at the rumpled heap of bodies and the wide-eyed expressions on the floor. The audience remains quiet and somber until Ashur appears and leads me away and out of sight and then the whispers begin.
They sound like a flock of starlings in the trees over winter.
That seals the deal.
I know exactly what I'm made of.
Cold fucking stone.
Chapter Thirty-Three
I don't even know how I got here, but I am kneeling at the syrinx's head in the church, the silent tears streaming down my cheeks. I hear the door open behind me, but I don't turn until Lucan kneels down next to me on the red carpeted floor. He puts his arm around me. "Junco, let's go home."
I shake my head and push his arm off. "No, I'm not done."
"You've been in here for an hour, Junco. Everyone is gone now, let's go home and you can think about it there."
"I fucking said no, Lucan. I'm not fucking done."
"What do you need to do to be finished?"
"An answer."
"An answer to what question, Junco?"
I let out a deep sigh. "Why am I so evil? How much longer do I have to keep killing?"
"You could quit, if you want."
I snort. "Yeah, I could die, too."
He stays silent after that.
"She's here, I know it. She just doesn't want to answer me because she wants something, just like everyone else. She wants something from me and it's gonna be you next. Or Ashur. Or Isten. It's gonna be you guys next, just to make me pay for all the shitty fucking things I just added to my scroll. I can feel it. Someone will come up to me, maybe that Rache guy, and he'll say, It's your job, J
unco. Kill your best friend now, kill your favorite. Kill your Archer." I look up at him and it's painful to see the look in his eyes. "And I'll do it, Lucan. I know I will."
"You won't, Junco. You're with us now."
I shake my head. "How could you ever trust me again? I'm a total sell-out. I'm nothing but a programmed robot waiting for new orders. It's great if you're the one in charge of me, yeah. Sure. That's great. But God fucking forbid you be on the receiving end, right? Because I'm just a good little soldier. Follow orders and then say, more please."
"Junco, this is what every General Fledge winner goes through. It is predictable, this grief. These doubts. You did follow orders, but those pledges would not be suitable for this Cluster. And they were not suitable for their own Clusters. They were defective."
"I don't mean to make comparisons like this, Lucan, and normally I never would because you're entitled to your own culture, but on Earth we love the defective just as much as the average. More, sometimes."
"This is not Earth, Junco, and we are not human."
I sniff up some snot. "Yeah, I know."
"We are at a critical stage, we have no genetic stock to speak of, Junco. None that we can afford to use. Do you know that the General Fledge used to yield more than two hundred new Aves warriors? It wasn't always ten."
I look up and take a deep breath. He smiles at my new attention to his words.
"We produced so many quality warriors. We were overfilled with candidates, those qualified for command, and those fighters who had everything it took to make our ranks successful. But this is what the bad code has done to us. Reduced us to the one-percent rule. And if we can be perfectly honest here, you and I both know that only four or five, at the most, of those ten today were really qualified."
I swallow because I knew it instinctively as I watched them line up. Even Kush is questionable.
"Why didn't you choose Isec, Junco? It was completely up to you."
I drop my head and close my eyes. "Because he would have chosen Tessen or Wyrd or Kush."
"But they were all chosen anyway."
"I know, but it would have been a lie." I look up at him. "I'm not supposed to lie unless it's war. Isec was not my pick. Isec never saved my life. Annun did. And I didn't know." I turn my head away and let the tears spill out. "I didn't know, Lucan. If I had known— " I let the words drop unsaid. I'd like to think I would've lied and picked Isec, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure and I cannot even bring myself to lie about it now.
"Do you know we purposely reworded the question this year, to make it less strict as to who can be chosen? And that all the sitting Archers signed on, just to give you the chance to save your little friend – in case you needed to retain that human element to stay with us."
"What?" I look up in his face and feel my heart shrivel up with sadness.
"We usually ask which of the remaining warriors you would follow into battle. And this Fledge we decided to ask you to choose the warrior you would have first on your team. We gave you an out if you needed it."
I stare at him, sniffing and unsure what to think.
"Of course, we would all have been disappointed if you took the out. And when you didn't, when you chose the best of the remaining warriors to follow, you earned the respect of the entire Aves population. You were objective under enormous emotional stress, and you came through for us."
"I don't feel well."
"You are exceptional, Junco. Exceptional. You have natural gifts that we cannot even comprehend yet. And you have given Amelia and the rest of the worlds hope with your promise to deliver the Siblings."
"How the fuck can I deliver them, Lucan? She made me say that, I was scared and she made me say it! I have no power to deliver them."
"You do have power, Junco, you'll see. Moju is waiting for you. He's waiting for you to just come and ask him to come home. He's not waiting for Tier, no matter what you think, he's holding on for you. I saw it." I look up at him and he nods. "I would not lie."
He takes my hand and pulls me up.
I consider fighting him but I don't. He leads me down the stairs of the altar and back between the always-empty benches of the syrinx church. And then we are out the door and Ashur and Isten are waiting. I look up at them and force the tears back, then paint an angry frown on my face as they grab my arms and fly me down to the dorm.
We hear the uproar long before we land and walk the short distance to the lounge area. All the guys are there, as are a few I don't recognize, and they are shouting and pointing to the screen on the wall.
Lucan is arguing with several others who look like him, so I assume they are Archers, and Isten and Ashur join the fray as they push for dominance.
It takes me a few seconds to turn and log what's scrolling across the screen.
It's Tier.
He's dressed in some nondescript uniform, not the Aves uniform, and his eyes look distant with drugs. He's on the gurney, under testimony. A reporter flashes across the screen and summarizes the event that has everyone here riled up.
He's pleaded guilty to treason and Justice has accepted the plea.
The trial is over.
I stare at the words that splash across the screen. Then watch as a camera shows a large crowd rioting outside the Fledge building. I walk over towards the door and make it down two flights of stairs before I hear the 039 calling my name. I hop down the stairs faster, pushing down the residual pain from my ankle injury as a banging noise from below draws me down. I race out towards the front door and skid to a stop, sliding on the floor and landing on my hip sideways as a window shatters from the blunt force of some large object.
The rioters are wild, screaming and pointing at me like I am the one who is guilty of treason. I scramble up as they break down the barrier keeping them at bay and then they are spilling into Fledge. The SEAR comes to life in full sword length just as I hear the heavy boots behind me.
The plasma loop illuminates their faces in the dim evening light that leaks in from outside and it's their turn to skid to a stop on the gleaming white floor and fall on their asses. I crouch with the SEAR in high ready position and shake my head. The little red lights in the eyes of some tells me they are reporters, or at least recording the scene. "Don't even fucking think about it."
Lucan appears between the mob and me. Then the 039 and I are standing shoulder to shoulder. Ashur puts his hand on my weapon arm. "Put it away, Junco. You're just making it easier for them to hate you."
I wait a few seconds as Lucan barks orders and the other Aves teams push them back outside with force. I breathe, and the SEAR slips back into place. "What the fuck was that?"
Ashur shakes his head. "They blame you. For Tier's fate."
My eyes squint as my mouth draws down in a long frown. They blame me. Because he should have killed me like he was instructed. Just like I had to kill Isec when I was instructed. I watch Lucan argue with several individuals who appear to be reporters and then he grabs one and escorts him over to me.
It's Kadian.
"Junco," Lucan snaps, "come upstairs." He has a pretty good grip on Kadian's arm and then he touches me on the shoulder and we appear up in the dorm. I am immediately drawn towards the unbearable noise coming from the far wall and I absently walk over to the lounge. The screen is alive with action and my eyes track to a familiar landmark. I feel dizzy as I realize the footage is from Earth.
Peak City is bursting in explosions. I look over at Lucan and I can see his shock as well. The reporter's voice isn't registering in my brain, because when I look back all I see are the words Tactical EM Pulse and Nuke Explodes over Peak City scroll across the lower edge of the screen.
I hear boots running up the stairs and then Ashur is next to me. I look up at him and watch the flashes of destruction flicker across his face for a few seconds before he looks down and meets my gaze. Lucan's hand is on me then and he is pulling, yelling at Ashur to turn the fucking screen off, and yanking on Kadian's arm so hard he's begging desperate
ly for him to let go.
"Stop!" I scream as my hands come up to my ears. "Just shut the fuck up for a minute, all of you!" I breathe in and out repeatedly as Ashur moves to turn the screen off. "Stop, Ashur. Leave it alone. It's my fucking home that was just blown up, so if anyone has a right to watch as it falls apart, it's me."
The room is hushed of human sound and all eyes are on me. Only the explosions make it into my ears. I look over at the stairs and most of the guys from downstairs, and all of the Archers, are there, quiet and still. I walk over to the couches and take a seat, then lean back into the cushions and turn up the volume and log every detail, every scream, every dead body, and every demolished building that used to be the rock of my existence as it falls into ruin.
A little while later an additional nuke is reported. This time it takes out Council Three in the RR. A hovercopter flies as close as it can get in the northwestern sector to show the world the burned land that used to be my tallgrass. The tears finally begin to fall. My whole life, everything I had before I came here, is wiped away in a single day.
They stay there with me and watch the screen, every one of them, my team or otherwise. Warrior or Archer. They all stay. And they say nothing. We just watch as the entire middle section of the United Republics erupts into total war.
Eventually Ashur takes my hand and pulls me up. "We're going home now." On the ride home I stare out the window and think. My home is gone, Tier is guilty, I have promised to deliver something that might not even be possible, and I killed someone who trusted me.
And millions of people are dead, Junco. Maybe Moju too, so this might signal the end of the entire avian race. And all you think about is how it affects you? Nice.
When we land on the upper terrace of the apartment I push Ashur off and go directly to my room. My biometrics release the lock and I close it behind me before anyone can follow.
I leave the lights off and sit down in the window seat, looking out at traffic and the bright lights of Amelia proper. My vision screen comes to life but stays silent.