by Amy Clipston
Jason needed to get out of there. Being inside the barn was suffocating. He threw down the pretzel he’d been holding and climbed off the bench.
Dat looked over his shoulder at Jason, and his face clouded in question. “Where are you going?”
“I’m not hungry. I’m going for a walk.” Jason weaved past the women delivering dessert and stepped out into the midday sun.
The air was crisp, a clear sign that fall was quickly sneaking up on Lancaster County. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh scent of grass and earth. He took a step and walked right into Mary, who stumbled while grasping a tray of apple pies that started to slide from her hands. Jason grabbed the tray and righted it before the pies tumbled to the ground.
“Whew,” Jason said with an embarrassed chuckle. “That was close. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
“It’s okay.” Her cheeks flushed bright pink. “It’s a gut thing you have quick reflexes. No wonder you’re gut at playing volleyball.”
Mary smiled, and Jason recalled Veronica’s suggestion to pursue her. Mary was pretty, sweet, and eager to get to know him. Maybe Veronica was right. Maybe he belonged with someone else.
But I love Veronica.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked, pushing the thoughts away.
“You want to go for a walk now?” Mary looked surprised.
He looked at the pies. “Oh, right. You’re busy. Never mind.” He pointed toward the pasture. “I’m going to walk out there and get some air. I’ll see you later.”
“No, wait for me,” she said quickly. “Let me hand these pies to someone, and I’ll join you.” She rushed into the barn and then reappeared a few moments later. “Leah said she’d deliver them for me.”
“Great.” Jason started toward the pasture, and Mary walked quickly to keep up with his long strides. “I had to get out of there for a bit.”
“Are you feeling all right?” Mary asked, her voice full of worry. “Is your stomach upset?”
“I’m feeling okay, danki. I just needed some time to clear my head.” He toyed with the idea of telling Mary about his issues with Veronica, but why would Mary want to hear about another maedel? “I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?” he asked, hoping to steer the focus away from himself.
“I’m doing fine.” She smiled again. “Last week was busy, but it was gut. How about you?”
“It wasn’t a gut week. I was hoping I had figured out a solution to a complicated situation, but I only managed to make it worse.” He followed the fence line, and she walked beside him.
When he came to a bench located under a big tree, he sat down, and she sank down beside him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mary offered.
Jason smiled at her enthusiastic expression. “I don’t think you would want to hear about it.”
Her smile faded. “It’s about Veronica Fisher, isn’t it?”
Jason paused and looked into Mary’s brown eyes. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he also couldn’t lie to her.
“You can be honest with me, Jason,” she said. “I know you have feelings for Veronica. I’ve known since that time you were talking to her by the pond at the youth gathering. I’m not as naive as most people think I am.”
“I never thought you were naive,” Jason told her. “You’ve always gone out of your way to be nice to me, and I appreciate that.”
“You’re my freind, right?” Her smile returned, and he nodded. “I know it will never work between us. We’re not attracted to each other, and that’s okay. We can still be freinden. I’m actually sort of seeing someone. He lives in Lititz and works with one of my cousins at a carriage shop. We haven’t officially started dating, but we’ve been talking a lot. He’s really nice, and he told me he likes me.”
“That’s fantastic. I’m so froh for you.” Relief flooded Jason. He was thankful to no longer feel pressured to date Mary, and he was also grateful to have her friendship.
“Thanks.” Mary rested her elbow on the bench’s armrest. “I know Leah and Stephen were trying to set us up. I was disappointed at first when it didn’t work out, but then I realized you had feelings for Veronica. When I met Tim, I knew you and I were only meant to be freinden.” Her expression showed concern. “So what’s going on with Veronica? You can trust me.”
“I appreciate that.” Jason shared a brief version of everything that had happened between him and Veronica. Mary listened with interest, and he appreciated that her eyes weren’t full of pity. “Now I don’t know what to do. I keep feeling that I need to just stop worrying about her and wait to see what her father can do to help me. What do you think?” He held his breath, awaiting Mary’s assessment.
“From what you’ve told me, I think she cares for you. She’s dealing with a lot of emotions after losing her fiancé.” Mary pushed the ribbons from her prayer covering behind her shoulders. “Like I said, I could tell you were attracted to each other that night at the youth gathering, so I’m positive she cares for you. I have a feeling she’ll contact you soon. Just give her some time to sort through everything.”
Even though Mary hadn’t told him anything he hadn’t heard before, Jason appreciated her thoughts. It was a relief to hear another maedel’s point of view.
“Jason, you’re a really sweet guy,” Mary continued. “You made a mistake, but you didn’t do anything unforgivable. Veronica will eventually come to that conclusion on her own.”
“Danki.” His thoughts turned to the apple pies she’d been carrying. “Would you like to share a piece of that apple pie?”
“That sounds appeditlich.” They walked back toward the barn together.
“Are you coming to the youth gathering tonight, Jason?”
“No, probably not,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I’m going to go home and relax this evening.”
“Oh, I was hoping you could meet Tim. He and his cousin are coming tonight. The gathering is in Bird-in-Hand.”
Jason’s stomach tightened when she mentioned Bird-in-Hand. Would Veronica be there? If he went, would she even talk to him?
“You’ll have to come another time,” Mary continued. “You’d really like him.”
“I’m sure I would.” He smiled at her. “Danki for taking a walk with me and giving me some advice.”
“It was fun.” She picked up speed and made her way toward the barn ahead of him. “I’ll grab us a piece of pie.”
Jason considered Mary’s words about Veronica and hoped she was right. He prayed that Veronica would soon realize he only wanted to make her happy.
“I DON’T WANT TO GO,” VERONICA REPEATD FOR THE FOURTH time. “You two go on and have a gut time, but I’d rather stay here.” “No. You’re coming with us.” Rachel enunciated the words while they stood in the driveway. David’s horse and buggy sat nearby with David at the reins looking impatient.
“We’re tired of seeing you mope,” Emily chimed in.
“In that case, I’ll go mope in the privacy of my own room.” Veronica appreciated her sisters’ concern for her mental health, but she had no interest in going to the youth gathering tonight. She would rather be alone.
Her sisters exchanged annoyed looks before each took one of her wrists and pulled her.
“Hey!” Veronica protested while trying to free her wrists from their grip. “I’m the oldest, so you’re both supposed to listen to me. I give the orders!”
“Today we’re giving them, and you’re going to do what we say,” Rachel repeated.
“That’s right,” Emily said. “Mamm told us to get you out of the haus, and we’re doing it.”
They dragged her to the buggy.
“Get in,” they sang in unison.
“Fine,” Veronica acquiesced. “But I won’t smile.”
“We don’t care if you don’t smile,” Emily said with exasperation. “Just get in the buggy.”
Veronica climbed into the back, and Emily sank down beside he
r. With her chin in her palm, Veronica stared out the back of the buggy during the ride to the farm where the youth gathering was going to be held. Rachel sat in front with David and seemed to be trying her best to keep a conversation with him going.
What is going on with David?
“It’s not so bad, you know,” Emily said, leaning over to talk to Veronica. “I’ll keep you company at the gathering, and Malinda said she’ll be there too.”
“That’s right,” Rachel said, turning to face them. “Malinda told me she wants to talk to us. She got a new job teaching at a special school for kinner who need some extra help.”
“Really?” Veronica sat up with interest. She hadn’t heard this news about their favorite cousin. “When did she start teaching there?”
For the remainder of the ride, Rachel filled them in about Malinda’s new job and training. Soon they were at the farm, and David guided the horse toward the barn.
Veronica climbed out and walked with Emily toward a group of young women who were watching a volleyball game. Rachel and David walked in the other direction toward another group.
Veronica scanned the crowd in front of her, mentally picking out familiar faces. There were many unfamiliar faces, and she wondered if this youth gathering had been combined with a few other youth groups. The thought caused her stomach to tighten. Why hadn’t she made her sisters tell her if this was another combined group?
“I don’t think he’s here,” Emily said, reading her mind. “And if he is, then you should talk to him.”
Veronica eyed her sister. “How did you know I was—”
Emily’s very unladylike snort interrupted Veronica’s words. “Please, Veronica. It’s so obvious that you’re trying to ignore how you feel about Jason, but you’re in love with him. When are you going to stop torturing yourself and accept that you want to be with him?”
Veronica was speechless. Her youngest sister was right, and the truth of her words had struck Veronica right in the gut like a stray volleyball.
“Do you want to play volleyball?” Emily asked.
“No thanks. I think I’d rather watch.” Veronica sank onto the ground and smoothed her dress over her legs.
“Suit yourself.” Emily trotted off to join a team.
Veronica picked at a stray dandelion while her sister laughed and talked with other volleyball players. She recalled what it was like to be that outgoing and secure with herself when she was nineteen. Now that she was older and had weathered two heartbreaks, Veronica was much more guarded with her emotions.
“Veronica?”
She tented her hand over her eyes and glanced up, finding Stephen Huyard smiling down at her. “Stephen. How are you?” So Jason’s youth group was here.
“I’m fine, thanks.” He pointed toward the grass beside her. “May I join you?”
“Sure.” She sat up straight.
Stephen sat down, stretching his long legs in front of him.
“Are you here alone?” she asked, her stomach clenching again.
“No,” he said, pointing toward the volleyball games. “My girlfriend is playing on the same team as your schweschder.”
“Oh.” Veronica picked at another dandelion.
“Jason isn’t here,” Stephen said. “I couldn’t convince him to come with Leah and me. He said he wanted to stay home and be alone.”
“Oh,” she repeated. I know the feeling. “How is he?” The question sprang from her lips before she could stop it.
“He’s stricken,” Stephen said. “Over you.”
The sincerity in Stephen’s eyes cut Veronica to the bone. She blinked, unable to speak.
“Look, Veronica,” Stephen began, “it’s really none of my business, but I feel compelled to tell you something. I was with Jason when he saw you at the visitation.”
“You were there too?” she asked, her voice thin as emotion swelled inside her.
“Ya, I was, and you might remember I was also there the day we first came to your bake stand.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “Jay honestly planned to tell you the truth from the start. In fact, I warned him that if he didn’t tell you we worked with Seth that he’d lose you, and that’s exactly what happened.”
“You worked with Seth too?” she asked, astonishment wafting over her.
“I did.” He nodded. “Seth was a great guy, and we miss him. I’m really sorry for your loss.”
“Danki,” Veronica whispered as more emotion drenched her.
“Jay messed up by not telling you when he originally went to see you to express his condolences,” Stephen continued while absently pulling up blades of grass. “The truth is that he took one look at you and was completely mesmerized. He already had feelings for you the first time you spoke to him.”
Veronica’s eyes widened, and she eyed him with bewilderment. “Did he really?”
“Ya, he did. My bruder is a lot of things, but he’s not a liar. He’s very impulsive, almost to a fault. He wanted to find you after he saw you at the visitation, and he made it his business to learn where you lived. I cautioned him from the beginning that it was a little strange to search for you, but Jay was determined to see you and tell you he was sorry he couldn’t save Seth. He blames himself for Seth’s accident, even though it wasn’t his fault at all.”
Veronica sniffed as her eyes stung with tears. This news was almost too much for her to bear. She took a deep breath and willed herself not to cry. She’d already shed too many tears.
“Then before he could find out where you lived, he was surprised to find you were the maedel selling the raspberry pies my mother wanted us to buy for her. When Jay met you,” Stephen continued, “he forgot his original plan. He just wanted to get to know you. It wasn’t his intention to mislead you, but he was so worried about losing you that he couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth, afraid he would only remind you of Seth.” He flicked a blade of grass and then brushed his hands on his trousers. “And now that he’s lost you, he’s a complete mess.”
I am too. Veronica looked out toward the volleyball game as her sister served the ball with the grace of a professional player. She tried to avoid Stephen’s eyes as regret assaulted her soul.
“Jay is crazy about you,” Stephen said. “I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him.”
Veronica nodded and attempted to shield her raging emotions from him. “I appreciate your concern.”
“You appreciate my concern?” Stephen lifted an eyebrow with a wry smile. “Is that just a polite way for you to tell me to mind my own business?”
Veronica laughed at his outspoken remark. “No, that’s not what I meant. I really do appreciate that you’re worried about your bruder.”
“Of course I am. He’s my only sibling. I have a feeling your schweschdere take care of you too.”
Veronica shook her head. “You have no idea. They literally dragged me to the buggy tonight. I didn’t want to come, but they made me. It was completely against my will.”
Stephen eyed her with interest. “So you wanted to stay home alone, too, huh?”
Veronica nodded. “That’s right.”
“Sounds like you and Jay are both miserable.” He smiled. “Something tells me you miss each other.”
Veronica turned her attention back to the game as a lump formed in her throat.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Stephen said. “But please make me one promise.”
“What do you want me to promise you?” Veronica asked with suspicion.
“Please don’t make him suffer much longer,” Stephen said as he stood.
Veronica gave him a small smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Danki. That’s all I can ask. See you later.” Stephen grinned before running off to the volleyball game.
CHAPTER 23
“I’M GOING TO THE HARDWARE STORE THIS MORNING,” DAT announced at breakfast the following morning. “I want you to come with me, Veronica.”
“You do?” Veronica look
ed up from her plate of eggs and bacon just as a suspicious look passed between her parents. What were her parents conspiring about?
“Ya, I do,” Dat said. “We don’t talk enough. Come with me and I’ll take you to lunch.”
“Okay.” Veronica shrugged. “I need some baking supplies, so I’ll run into the grocery store too.”
“Great,” Dat said, lifting his coffee mug.
After Veronica helped her mother and Emily clean the kitchen, she ran upstairs to grab her purse before following her father out to the waiting van. Her father had hired his usual driver, Charlotte Campbell, to take them into the center of town in Bird-in-Hand.
During the ride, Dat sat in the front of the van next to Charlotte and discussed the weather, talking about how nice it was to finally have some cooler days after the hot and humid summer they had endured.
Forgetting that her parents had been acting suspiciously at breakfast, Veronica lost herself in her thoughts. She had too much on her mind, and Dat and Charlotte’s weather discussion was only background noise for her. She mentally considered her conversation with Stephen last night. Jason’s brother had unknowingly confirmed everything Jason had told her. She now believed Jason had never meant to hurt her. When she had awoken this morning, she found herself at peace with her feelings for Jason. She had not only forgiven him, but she was ready to start over just as he suggested.
As the van steered onto Highway 340, she opened her purse and peeked inside. She touched the bag of stones, and her heart fluttered. She couldn’t wait to give Jason the bag and ask him to take her to his father’s pond. She wanted to hold his hand and walk around the pond while they talked about their feelings for each other and their future plans. It made her feel so happy to think about having plans for the future with Jason. After their walk, they would skip stones together until their wrists were sore. The notion caused her insides to warm and her lips to turn up in a smile.
After their shopping, Veronica was going to ask Dat if they could stop by the Lancaster Shed Company to see Jason. She was ready. Ready to face a future without Seth, ready to open her heart and let Jason in completely, ready to love again.