The Forgotten Recipe

by Amy Clipston

  Excitement rushed through Veronica. She couldn’t wait to see Jason and apologize to him.

  “YOU REALLY SAID ALL THAT TO VERONICA?” JASON REGARDED his brother with surprise as they stood in the middle of the shop. “You told her I’m a complete mess since I lost her?”

  Hammers banged, saw blades whirled, and air compressors hummed as the sweet scent of wood and stain surrounded them. But Jason had become oblivious to it all. He was stunned, not sure if he should yell at his brother for interfering or thank Stephen for defending him.

  “Ya, I did. I also told her you were afraid of losing her. I was only trying to help.” Stephen shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I only told her the truth, and she looked stunned. I asked her to forgive you, and she listened intently. Hopefully I made a difference.”

  “Danki.” Jason decided to thank him. After all, his brother had told the truth, and it seemed as if it might have worked.

  “Gern gschehne,” Stephen said as he started to go. “I’ll be right back. I need to remind Dat about the supply order. We’re running low on nails.”

  Jason shook his head and grinned as Stephen disappeared into the office at the front of the shop. Leave it to him to be so nonchalant about emotional turmoil. He could just imagine Stephen telling Veronica about his own brother’s feelings so matter-of-factly.

  Jason continued to smile as he stuck his hammer in his tool belt, picked up a handful of shingles, and walked toward the ladder to the roof of the large, two-story shed he and Stephen had finished building last Friday. As he walked toward the ladder, his feet slammed into something sturdy. He stumbled, lost his footing, and his feet went up in the air, sending him crashing down with the heavy armful of shingles and the hammer.

  His body crashed to the cement floor, and he landed on his right arm. He heard a loud crack as his head slammed against the same unforgiving surface. The wind was knocked out of him, and a searing pain radiated up his arm to his shoulder. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t exhale. The pain stole his breath, and he lay immobilized on the cold, hard floor in the center of the shop.

  “Jason!” Stephen hollered. “Don’t move!”

  He could just barely hear his brother as he barked orders.

  “Call nine-one-one. Someone get my dat! Dummle!”

  Jason tried to speak, but the pain worsened, choking off his words.

  Stephen hovered over him. “Don’t move. We’re getting help.”

  Jason’s eyes started to close as the pain covered him like a thick, smothering fog. The voices swirling around him sounded as if they were in the distance. He wanted to sleep. He wanted the agony that was paralyzing him to go away.

  “Jay!” Stephen said, his voice strained with worry. “Stay with me, Jason. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t fall asleep.”

  “What happened?” Dat’s voice echoed somewhere in the distance.

  “Jason tripped over that can of paint,” another man called. “He landed on his arm and hit his head pretty hard. I heard his skull smack the cement.”

  “Has someone called nine-one-one?” Stephen yelled.

  “Rufus is calling,” Dat said. “Jason, stay with us. You’re going to be fine.” Dat’s voice quaked. “Don’t fall asleep.”

  “I-I—” Jason tried to talk, but the burn of the pain in his arm stole his ability to form words. “My arm,” he managed to say, his breath coming in short bursts. “Hurts.”

  “An ambulance is coming!” Rufus hollered. “Hold on, Jason.”

  Jason closed his eyes, and everything went dark.

  “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE HARDWARE STORE FIRST?” Veronica asked as she climbed from the back of the van. “Or we could go to the grocery first for my baking supplies. It doesn’t matter to me since they’re both close by.”

  She had already glanced over at Lancaster Sheds—a place she had avoided even noticing for months whenever she was in town—but it was too early to mention her plan to stop in there.

  “It’s up to you,” Dat said. “I just thought we could do our shopping first and then go to lunch. The truth is, Veronica, your mamm and I think you and I should talk some more about Jason over lunch, away from the haus.” Before she could respond, he leaned into the van. “Do you think you could pick us up in about an hour?”

  “I actually need to get a few things from the hardware store, too, so I’ll just park here and wait for you,” Charlotte said. “Take your time.”

  “Danki, Charlotte. Veronica,” Dat said as he turned back to her, “where do you want to go first then—”

  The blare of a siren interrupted their conversation. As the sound grew louder, Veronica turned around and faced the road. She spotted an ambulance steering into the parking lot behind the Lancaster Shed Company, and her stomach plummeted.

  “Jason!” she yelled. “Dat, we have to go check on Jason!”

  Without awaiting his response, she took off running toward the store. She burst through the front doors and found the showroom empty, then rushed through doors she assumed would lead to the shop where Jason worked. EMTs were gathered around someone who was on the floor.

  Veronica’s body began to tremble as the memories of learning about Seth’s accident consumed her mind. She’d heard about the ambulance coming to the shop and the EMTs finding him already gone. They’d called the coroner and had his body taken to Margaret’s, where the bishop had already gone to break the news to her and Ellie. Then when Ellie called the harness shop phone and told her to come . . .

  She shivered, hugging her arms to her chest.

  A hand clasped her shoulder, and she jumped with a start.

  “Calm down,” Dat told her. “Everything is going to be fine.”

  Stephen’s face emerged from the sea of workers standing close to the EMTs. He crossed the large shop and approached her. “Veronica? What are you doing here?”

  “Is Jason okay?” Her voice was shaky and higher than usual, making her sound like someone else. “We saw the ambulance, and I had to check on him.”

  Stephen grimaced. “Jason tripped over a can of paint, and he took a pretty bad fall. We heard his skull hit the cement floor.”

  Veronica’s knees buckled as more memories from the aftermath of Seth’s accident assaulted her mind. Just as he had done then, her dat’s strong hands grabbed her arms and steadied her.

  “No, no, no!” she cried. She could feel the blood draining from her face, and fear overpowered her. “I can’t lose him. Not now!” She could hear her voice growing shrill.

  “Calm down,” Dat repeated. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “He’s awake now and he’s talking, but we think he may have broken his right arm.” Stephen pointed toward the EMTs. “They’re taking his vital signs before they move him to a backboard.”

  Veronica cupped her hand to her mouth, and Dat gently squeezed her shoulder.

  “He’s going to be fine,” Dat said. “If he’s awake and talking, then he’ll be okay.”

  “Can I see him?” she asked, tears spilling from her eyes. “I want to tell him I’m sorry, and I want to start over. I need to tell him he was right about everything.”

  “Shh,” Dat said, consoling her. “You’ll have plenty of time to talk to him later. Let the EMTs take care of him now. He’s probably in shock and wouldn’t recognize you right now.”

  Jason cried out as the EMTs moved him to a board, and Veronica swallowed a sob. Her heart was pounding so hard she was certain everyone in the shop could hear it. Her father encircled her shoulders with one arm and pulled her close to him. She looked up at Stephen and spotted tears shimmering in his brown eyes.

  The EMTs placed the board on a gurney, secured it, and then one of the men pushed it toward the back exit. Veronica rushed over to the gurney as her blood pounded in her ears. Jason was moaning and gnawing his lower lip. His eyes were sealed shut, and his face was twisted in a painful grimace.

  Veronica wanted to tell him she loved him and she was sorry. She longed to touch his face a
nd his hands. But an EMT gently pushed her away from the gurney.

  “We need to get him to the hospital as soon as possible, miss,” the man said. “You can visit him after he’s stabilized.”

  Veronica’s heart was lodged in her throat as the EMTs pushed the gurney out to the ambulance. She closed her eyes and prayed, begging God to place his healing hand on Jason. I can’t lose him. He has to be okay; he just has to!

  A tall man with graying brown hair and a matching beard rushed over to Stephen. He had the same light-brown eyes as Jason and Stephen. “I’m going to ride in the ambulance with him. Will you call your mamm?”

  “Ya, Dat.” Stephen rubbed his eyes. “Go on. I’ll find a ride to the hospital.”

  His father gave him a quick nod and then rushed out of the shop.

  “We’ll take you,” Dat said. “We can go pick up your mamm too.”

  Veronica nodded with emphasis. “Ya, we’ll take you. I’m sure our driver is still just outside.”

  “Let’s go,” Stephen said.

  Veronica’s nerves were raw as they hurried out of the store. She continued to pray silently as they climbed into the van.

  JASON’S HEAD WAS FUZZY AS HE SAT PROPPED UP IN THE hospital bed later that afternoon. His right arm was in a cast and a sling, but the pain radiating through it was now a dull throb thanks to heavy painkillers. He also had some bruises. All in all, he was okay. His parents sat nearby, and his mother was still dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

  “I was so worried when Stephen came to get me.” Mamm sniffed. “When he said you’d been in an accident, all I could think of was your freind Seth. I just sobbed and sobbed.”

  “I’m sorry I scared you,” Jason muttered with a croak. His voice sounded strange to his own ears. It was as if he had a frog in his throat. “I didn’t mean to fall. I’m just a klutz.”

  “Why didn’t you check to make sure there wasn’t anything on the floor before you picked up those shingles?” Dat asked. “Those shingles are so heavy, Jason. You could’ve been hurt worse.”

  “I was just walking to the ladder, Dat,” Jason said. “We all climb ladders a thousand times every day.”

  “You’re blessed that your worst injury is that broken arm,” Dat continued, berating him. “When Stephen shouted to call nine-one-one, I had the same fear your mamm did.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jason said again. He tried to adjust himself in the lumpy bed, and the sharp pain shooting from his arm stopped him. “This bed is terrible. When can we leave? I really would like to rest in my own bed.”

  “We have to wait for the doctor to release you,” Dat said, fingering his suspenders. “He said he wanted to watch for signs of a concussion. You took a really hard fall.”

  Jason tried to recall the accident. He remembered the sickening sensation of his feet slipping and then the horrific thud of his body hitting the floor. He vaguely recalled his brother talking to him and then the sound of the siren. For some inexplicable reason, he also remembered hearing Veronica’s voice and then the sound of her crying. Why would he have heard Veronica? That must’ve been caused by the thick fog of pain from his injuries. There was no chance Veronica had been there.

  Stephen appeared in the doorway with bottles of water. “I brought drinks.” He gave their parents each a bottle and then handed one to Jason. “How are you feeling?”

  “I think I know what a nail head feels like after it’s been pounded into a piece of wood.” He tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace.

  Stephen blew out a deep sigh. “You scared me to death today, Jay. I think I lost ten years off my life.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jason repeated. “I really didn’t mean to trip.”

  “I know. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Stephen twisted the top off his bottle. “Are you ready for visitors?”

  “I have visitors?” Jason asked. “Who’s here to see me? The guys from the shop?”

  “No, it’s not the guys from the shop. They’ve been calling for updates, but they’re still working. You really have only one visitor, someone who wants to see you as soon as possible,” Stephen said with a smile. He turned to his parents. “Do you want to go for a walk for a few minutes?”

  “Ya,” Mamm agreed as she stood. “Dat and I can go find something to eat. I think I’m ready for a little lunch.”

  Dat stood and took her hand. “We’ll be back in a while to see you. You just relax, Jason.”

  Stephen smiled at Jason again. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Stephen, what’s going on?” Jason scowled. “I’m in no mood for jokes.”

  “It’s not a joke. Just drink your water, and I’ll be right back.” Stephen moved out of the room.

  Jason stared after his brother and parents and wondered what the big secret was. He sipped the cool water and breathed a sigh of relief that he was going to be okay. He could cope with a broken arm, which would heal in time.

  VERONICA POPPED UP TO HER FEET WHEN STEPHEN ENTERED the waiting room. She’d spent the past two hours praying for Jason. The pleasant expression on Stephen’s face told her Jason was going to be all right, and the tension that had taken hold of her body relaxed slightly.

  “How is he?” Veronica asked.

  “Jason is okay,” Stephen said. “He has a broken arm and some other bruises. He’s awake and talking. The doctors just want to watch him to make sure he doesn’t have a concussion.”

  “Praise God!” She clapped. “I’m so thankful he’s okay.”

  “He’s ready to see you,” Stephen said. “I haven’t told him you’re here, but I told him someone wants to see him.”

  Veronica’s heart pounded against her rib cage as she turned to her father. “Do you want to come with me?”

  “No. You go on alone,” Dat said, patting her shoulder. “Stephen, would you show me where the cafeteria is?”

  “Ya, my parents just went down there. We can have lunch with them.” Stephen started toward the door. “I’ll take you to Jason’s room, and then I’ll take your dat to lunch.”

  Veronica’s hands continued to tremble as she followed Stephen through the winding hospital hallway to a room at the end of a long corridor. Stephen gave her an encouraging look and then led her father away. Veronica took a deep breath in an attempt to settle her shredded nerves and then knocked on the door.

  “Come in.” Jason’s voice was soft and hoarse on the other side of the door.

  Veronica pushed open the door, and her eyes prickled with tears when she found Jason propped up in bed with a sling covering the cast on his right arm. His expression brightened, and his eyes widened.

  “Hi,” Jason said.

  “Hi,” she whispered with a sniff. She closed the gap between them and stood at the bed on his left side. “I thought I’d lost you.” Tears slid down her cheeks as the emotions she’d tried to keep in check since they’d left Lancaster Sheds came bubbling out. “I was close to the store with my dat when we saw the ambulance pull in there, and I immediately feared you’d been in an accident. When I saw the EMTs working on you, I thought you were gone. It was just like how I imagined it was when I lost Seth.” She dissolved in sobs and sank into the chair next to the bed.

  “Veronica,” he whispered, and despite his thin voice, it sounded like a sweet melody to her ears. He reached over and touched her cheek with his left arm. “I’m right here. I’m just a little banged up, but I’ll be okay.”

  She grabbed a tissue from the table by the bed and rubbed her eyes and nose. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I had no right to treat you so badly. I know you never meant to hurt me. Please forgive me.”

  Jason shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize.”

  “Ya, I do need to apologize,” Veronica insisted as guilt washed over her like a tidal wave. “I was cruel to you. I said horrible things. I didn’t mean it when I said it was over and I told you to forget me. I don’t want you to date Mary.”

  Jason smiled as he took her hand in his. “Y
ou don’t need to worry about that. She already has a boyfriend. I never wanted her anyway. I only wanted to be with you.”

  “Danki. I know you only wanted to be with me.” Veronica sniffed, enjoying the feel of his warm hand on hers. “I was so determined to protect Seth’s memory that I lost sight of my own emotions. I liked you from the moment I met you, but I was afraid of getting hurt. Instead of getting to know you, I shut you out when I needed you most.”

  “It’s okay,” Jason said. “You don’t have to explain yourself.” His eyes were warm, reminding her of caramel, and her heart swelled with love for him.

  “I do need to explain myself.” She squeezed his hand. “I realized after talking to my schweschdere and also to your bruder that I was wrong. I was so determined to guard my heart that I missed what I needed, and that was you. You were right in front of me all along, Jason. I’m so sorry.”

  “Veronica—” he began.

  “Please, let me finish,” she said, interrupting him. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. We both lost Seth, and we both miss him. Rachel made me realize you were hurting just as much as I was. I had no right to deny you the right to grieve. I was only focused on the fact that you didn’t tell me you were Seth’s freind when I first met you. I understand now that you were afraid of losing me, and that makes sense. I should’ve respected your grief instead of blaming you for my grief.”

  Jason nodded. “I understand why you were upset. I should have been honest with you the first day I met you.”

  “Stephen explained to me why you were nervous to tell me the truth from the beginning.” Veronica paused to gather her thoughts. “I realized last night that you tried to tell me a few times. When we were walking by the pond after the picnic, you started to tell me you had lost someone close to you and you understood how I felt. You were talking about Seth, weren’t you?”

  He nodded, frowning. “Ya, I was.”

  “And you tried again the night you gave me the shelf. You started to tell me something, and then you stopped. You didn’t want to scare me away.”

  “Exactly.” Jason sighed. He shifted slightly in the bed and then grimaced.