Let Me Hold You

by Melanie Schuster

  “Wow. I think I’ve been shut down permanently,” Roland said with a smile.

  “She’ll be fine in a minute, I’m sure. Maybe she came from an abusive home or something. Do you want to watch a movie?”

  “You can turn it on, but it’ll be background noise. What I really want to do is finish our earlier conversation because I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings between us. We’ve got something really special here and I don’t want to mess it up, Alana.”

  She didn’t say anything and Roland turned her face to his to make sure she was giving him her full attention.

  “Are you still with me, honey?”

  “Yes, of course I am. And yes,” she said slowly, “I think this is something special, Roland. I haven’t even looked at another man since Sam died. It was such a horrible mess and I was so crushed by the whole thing that finding love again was the last thing on my mind. After the trial, I just shut down. I mean I shut that part of myself down and I was never going to open it again.”

  “The trial? They caught the guy?”

  “Yes, they did. And I had to go to court and testify and it was just awful. I wanted him put away forever, of course, and so did Sam’s family. But I always had the feeling that the Dumonds blamed me for his death. They were really cold to me afterwards. They barely spoke to me at the funeral and there were some really shitty things said about me after they found out that there was an insurance policy. They were going to come after me in civil court for wrongful death or something but when I gave his mother a pile of money she suddenly changed her mind.”

  Roland was appalled. “You’ve really been through it, haven’t you, baby? I can understand why you withdrew from relationships. You lived through some truly tragic ordeals. You lost your husband, you lost your baby and you had to deal with the trial and with his family. I know your family was there for you, but that was a tough row to hoe.”

  “A what? When did you become a Mississippi farm hand?” she teased.

  “That’s one of my granddad’s favorite expressions. He came up to Chicago to work, but he was a Mississippi man through and through, and never forgot where he came from. But don’t change the focus here, Alana. You’ve been through hell, and I can see why you’ve been holding back. But, honey, nothing like that can happen with us. You can’t let that tragedy, or tragedies, dictate the rest of your life.”

  “You’re right,” she said quietly.

  “I’m what?”

  Alana was idly stroking Domino’s big butterfly-shaped ears, running her fingers through the long silky hair. If she had looked at him, she would have seen the relief and happiness on his face, but she was concentrating on the little dog.

  “You’re right, Roland. I was living a half-life of regrets and bad dreams and fear and loss. I’m not going to do that anymore. I want to have a whole life, I want it all. You’re the first man I’ve allowed to get near me since I lost Sam and I don’t want to lose whatever it is that we’ve got going on.”

  She stopped talking because Roland covered her mouth with his. His tongue teased her lips apart until he gained full access to all the sweetness that was waiting for him. Alana didn’t try to resist, she joined in with enthusiasm, returning every stroke of his tongue with hers.

  Heat started coursing through her body, piercing every sensitive spot. Roland moved his hand to begin an intimate exploration of her breasts, but his arm wouldn’t move, primarily because Domino had his sleeve in her mouth. She stood up in Alana’s lap and looked at the two of them sternly.

  “You’re not going to be a problem, are you?” Roland retrieved his sleeve from the little dog and gave Alana an affectionate wink. “Have you been letting her sleep with you?”

  Alana looked sheepish and admitted that she had.

  “Well, that explains it. We’re going to break her of that habit tonight.”

  “Good luck with that. Speaking of habits that need to be broken, did it bother you seeing the portrait of Sam over my bed?” She watched him carefully, waiting for his answer.

  “Yes, it did,” he admitted.

  “It’s not there anymore.”

  Roland’s face brightened into a broad smile. “I’d like to see that. Let’s get Miss Lady situated and take a tour.”

  He stood up and whipped off his sweater, revealing a ribbed undershirt that fit nice and snug. Her eyes opened wide and her mouth formed a juicy O of awe-struck admiration. She was already hot from his kiss and the heat grew in intensity until she was pretty sure that Miss Alana was on fire. It was the first time she’d seen a half-naked man since Sam’s death and Roland was more than worth the wait. His body was just beautiful; there was no other word for it. His arms were smooth as copper silk and the muscles were perfect. His chest was broad and muscled and as hard as his arms. He smelled fantastic, too; like balsam and cedar and pure male.

  Her hand went out to him and before she could stop herself, she was stroking one of his biceps in admiration.

  “Wow,” she breathed softly.

  He smiled rakishly and flexed his muscles to elicit another sigh from Alana. “You like that? How about this,” he said, before whipping off the thin undershirt to reveal pecs that were works of art.

  Alana was transfixed by what she was seeing. She had to touch him again, just had to. Her small hand stroked his chest and she was amazed to find the skin as warm and supple as satin. He popped his pecs and they moved, making her jump in surprise and giggle, just like Julia Roberts in the iconic scene from Pretty Woman with Richard Gere and the jewelry box. They both laughed until he said, “Is that thing washable? Your top thing, I mean.”

  “Sure it is. Why?”

  “Take it off, honey—we’re going to need it.”

  Puzzled but emboldened by his moves, Alana did as he asked. She crossed her arms and took the hem of the slim-fitting top in her trembling fingers. She slowly pulled it up until the garment was off.

  Holding it out to Roland, she was embarrassed but was gratified by his sharp intake of breath. Her perfect breasts were on full display in a coral demi-bra that fastened with a tiny rosebud between the lace cups. It was his turn to reach for her treasures and he did so reverently, stroking the silky exposed skin with a dazed look on his face.

  “This is like opening the best gift I ever received,” he said. “Come on, let’s get her highness situated.”

  Minutes later, Domino was happily snuggled in her bed with her favorite toy, a soft fuzzy bunny. Roland had put the bed in the guest room across the hall from the master suite and lined it with Alana’s green top and his undershirt, using his expensive J. Peterman jersey as a coverlet.

  Alana was surprised and pleased when the little dog turned around a few times and settled down with a satisfied sigh and a doggie smile. Her eyes were closed before they left the room. Alana was both touched and impressed by the sight.

  “That was so clever,” she praised. “I never would’ve thought of that.”

  All of Roland’s attention was focused on Alana. She moved into the bedroom and was soon sitting in the center of the bed with her legs crossed, looking extremely tempting in her leggings and bra. He glanced around the bedroom and noticed that the pictures on the pale green walls had indeed changed. Sam was no longer glowering at him from above the bed; a large watercolor of the backyard had taken his place. He sat down on the bed and lay back on the pillows with a satisfied smile.

  “How did you ever think of putting our clothes in the bed with her? It certainly did the trick.”

  “If you come over here, I’ll tell you,” Roland answered.

  She promptly scooted over so that he could put his arms around her as she relaxed into his body. He was so warm that she felt like she was in a cocoon. Her hands couldn’t stop moving over the smooth planes of his chest. It was an amazing sensation; his body was so hard yet
his skin was as soft as the petals of her favorite flower. She was so engrossed in learning the feel of him that she forgot that she’d asked him a question.

  “If she smells us, it gives her comfort,” he said. “That’s what you do with puppies to get them to sleep when they leave their mother, you put something of yours in the crate and it helps them nod off.”

  “It helps who do what? What are you talking about, Roland?”

  His chest moved as a deep laugh rose and escaped through his throat. “I was telling you how I got Miss Domino to go to sleep, but your mind seems to be on something else.”

  Alana rose up on one elbow so that she was looking down at him, her free hand continuing to move up and down, her palm tracing his hardened nipples in a slow circular motion. “My mind is totally on you, I’m afraid. I can’t seem to think about anything else at the moment. Is that okay with you?”

  He moaned from the pleasure she was giving him before answering. “I’m absolutely fine with it.” His hands started moving over her, exploring the soft skin of her taut body. When his fingers reached the waistband of her leggings, he paused.

  “Take them off,” she said in a husky whisper.

  Once her shapely legs were bare, Roland looked at them with a potent hunger in his eyes. “I’ve been meaning to tell you how beautiful your legs are,” he said, scorching a heated path down her thighs with his palms. “And I’ve been wanting to see them just like this, with nothing between us.”

  “If that’s the case, one of us has too many clothes on,” Alana replied. “What are you going to do about that?”

  Instead of answering, Roland stood up and removed his jeans and briefs. He literally took Alana’s breath away. He stood before her totally naked, revealing every inch of his body and he was like nothing she’d ever seen before. Without the covering of his stylish clothes, he was even more beautiful, if such a thing was possible. His broad shoulders and arms were the perfect proportion to his narrow waist and he really did have a six-pack; his abdominal muscles were so defined it was like looking at him through a Hi-Def camera lens.

  She made herself take in his muscular thighs and calves before concentrating on his manhood because it took all her attention. Now she understood why heroines in the romance novels Alexis and Adrienne loved were always worried about whether it would fit; Roland was huge and hard and for a fleeting moment she was positive it wasn’t going to work. But by golly, she was going to give it her best shot.

  “Is everything okay? This is all I have to work with so if you don’t like it, we’re in trouble,” Roland said.

  Alana brought herself up to a kneeling position, facing Roland as she reached to unfasten her bra. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she murmured. “If I didn’t want to make love with you so badly I’d be trying to sculpt you. I’m going to tell you something that you can’t use against me in any way,” she warned him. “You are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a good thing you’re a good man or you’d be really, really dangerous.”

  His eyes widened and he laughed heartily, but not so hard that he forgot the task at hand. He moved her hands so that he could undo her bra and watch her plump, round breasts come into his view for the first time. They weren’t huge; they were just perfect for her size and his desire. Now she was wearing only the tiny thong that matched the bra and she looked better than all the Victoria’s Secret Angels put together, as far as Roland was concerned.

  She was slender, but her proportions were absolutely perfect. Her dark skin gleamed in the dim light of the room and her scent was intoxicating. She smelled like flowers in a spring rain, with a hint of pure woman that was all her. He tugged at the delicate garment until she was free of it and they were both entirely bare. They went into each other’s arms and held on tight, joining their mouths as their naked flesh touched for the first time.

  Alana’s hips began to move as she sought more of the hot passion that was surging between them. Her hands tightened on his arms as he began to kiss her neck and the sensitive place between her breasts before taking her hardened nipple in his mouth. She gasped and trembled all over at the sensations he created, feelings that were new and wonderful and so much more than she expected. He slowed his movements and pulled away from her, causing her eyes to fill with confusion.

  “We only have one first time, baby, and I want it to be right. Come here and let me show you what I mean.”

  Chapter 8

  It only took a couple of minutes for the covers to be turned back and Roland began to show Alana exactly what he meant about making their first time special.

  She was on her back with her knees bent. He was next to her, resting on his elbow so that he could look down at her with an expression she’d never seen on a man’s face before, not even Sam’s.

  Roland leaned down to kiss her again while his hand freely explored the source of the moisture between her legs. His mouth moved down her neck as he tasted her for the first time. He lingered over her breasts, sucking her nipples until she moaned his name, over and over. Her toes were curling and flexing and she could feel the wet heat on his fingers increase as her inner walls pulsed harder. He didn’t relent, though. He continued to stroke her, using his moistened thumb to massage her tender spot, the most sensitive and responsive part of her womanhood. He knew the moment her first orgasm began, not just because of the warm flow that gushed from her delicate flesh, but the wild movement of her hips and the contented look of surrender on her face.

  Alana’s heart was still beating rapidly and she was breathless. Roland turned so that he was on his back, bringing Alana with him. She lay on his chest and they were so close that he could feel their hearts beating as one. If he expected moments of quiet repose he was mistaken and surprised as Alana kissed him deep and fierce. At the same time she positioned herself on his manhood, sliding onto the crown and moving back and forth until their bodies were joined.

  He pushed, gently at first, but the feel of her, warm and slick, created an urgency that couldn’t be ignored. The kiss was broken as her mouth opened to let out a sound of pure passion. She gripped his shoulders, holding on tight as her hips assumed the rhythm and she rode Roland, giving him as good as she was getting.

  He couldn’t remember ever being this aroused. The sheen of her dark skin against his, the love-swollen nipples and the unbridled ecstasy on her face were almost too much for him. His hands tightened on her hips as the ride continued but when she pulled him in, deeper than he could have believed possible, the sensations they made together began pushing him to the brink. His hands tightened on her slender hips, holding on as he tried to force himself to resist the lure of her tight, taut body.

  She drove him harder, her walls squeezing him until the suction was too much and he exploded deep inside her. His voice was raw and hoarse as he ground out her name but the sound of it excited her even more and she continued to slide up and down until she joined him in an incredible climax. Their bodies were trembling and soaked with sweat as she finally collapsed on top of him.

  When she could finally speak again, which took several minutes, Alana took a deep breath and murmured, “Wow.”

  It took Roland a moment longer to answer. “Very wow. Are you okay?”

  He could feel the ripples of happiness rise in her body as she giggled softly. “I think that’s a slight understatement, but I can assure you that I’m much better than okay. I’m wonderful,” she assured him.

  She rested her head on his shoulder and looked at their fingers, which were locked together. “That was way better than my dreams, Roland.”

  It was her turn to feel his chest rumbling as he laughed softly. “Are you saying that you’ve been dreaming about me? What kind of dreams were you having?”

  Alana shifted so that she was supporting her head with her hand and looked at him with a bewitching smile. “Sexy ones. Erotic, romantic
, hot and nasty ones. I’ve dreaming about you ever since Sherri and Lucas’s wedding. Are you shocked?”

  “Not shocked,” he said with his special smile. “I’m surprised, though. I’m surprised that you’re telling me about it because most women wouldn’t admit it. But I’m not shocked because I’ve been dreaming about you for months. You’ve been slipping into my dreams since the day I met you.”

  She returned his smile and accompanied it with a kiss. “Were they good dreams?”

  “They were great, but not as good as this,” he said. “I used to wake up hard as a damned rock every morning and then I’d be disappointed because you weren’t in the bed with me.”

  “I’m here now. So which dream do you want to come true?”

  Minutes later Alana was in the last place she planned on being; she was standing on her tiptoes in her free-standing glass shower with her arms locked around Roland’s waist. They were kissing madly, which was part of many of her dreams, but he was shampooing her hair, which wasn’t. Since her hair had been wrecked in the name of love, Roland insisted on shampooing it for her. He’d finger-combed it and when she was wet from head to toe, he’d applied her fragrant Carol’s Daughter shampoo and began to distribute it gently but sensually. It felt odd at first, but it was both soothing and arousing.

  “Roland, this feels wonderful,” she said as she pressed closer to his body. “I think you’ve done this before.”

  He laughed as he began to rinse her hair with the handheld shower. “I have, honey. Remember I had an overworked mother and a slew of sisters. There was no money for the hairdresser so I had to pitch in and wash a lot of heads. Only I’d put them on the kitchen counter and wash them in the sink. I didn’t use expensive shampoo, either. I used washing powder. Tide works the best,” he added.

  Alana’s eyes flew open. “No, you didn’t put detergent in their hair! I don’t believe you,” she said.

  “You’re right, I’m lying. But I did do their hair. I learned how to braid and blow-dry and I even learned how to give relaxers. I had a girlfriend who went to beauty school and she hooked me up.”