This Is War, Baby

by K. Webster

“I think so…”

  He grunts and hovers his hand over the board. “Checkmate.” With finesse, he lifts the knight and leaps it over a pawn to attack my king.

  Our eyes meet and he smirks at me, satisfaction written all over his face. It’s a handsome look on him. I’ve always been competitive when it comes to board games but with one look, I want to lose all the games with him—just to see that cocked eyebrow and smile lifted up on one side.

  “You cheated,” I say with a laugh.

  His gaze falls to my mouth and I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows. Now that the game is over and he isn’t fixated on the board, I’ve become his new obsession. He skims over the silky material of my nightgown, slowing at my breasts, and then drops his eyes to my bare thighs.

  I could have changed into something more decent but I kind of liked feeling sexy for him. The thought of him losing control again and kissing me more dizzies me. His mouth on mine had been decadent. War is lost inside of his own head most of the time, but for that brief moment, he’d lost himself in me.

  And I liked it.

  I chew on my lip, savoring the lingering taste of him there, and slightly drag my gown up my legs, revealing more skin on my thighs. With my eyes on him, I watch for any signs indicating that what he sees excites him. He clears his throat but his stare is on my legs. I’m not wearing anything under the gown. The idea of spreading apart my legs to show him has me dampening for him.

  Gabe may have been a psychotic prick but I sort of miss his expert touch when he wasn’t hurting me. If War, the gentle soul he is, touched me, I think I’d enjoy it a whole hell of a lot more.

  Feeling brave, I lean back against the cushions of the couch stretching so that my gown inches up even more. Across from me in the armchair, he sucks in a rush of air.

  “Bay.” His voice is a low growl—almost a warning.

  It excites me and a shiver of desire tickles across my flesh. “Yes?”

  “Please stop.”

  Tears of rejection sting my eyes at his uttered words and I hastily drag my gown back to my knees. Heat creeps up my neck from being caught and I can no longer look at him. “I’m sorry,” I choke out, embarrassment garbling my words. I flick a glance back up at him. He’s staring up at the ceiling and his mouth is moving. Counting and counting. Finally, he drags his eyes from the ceiling.

  He groans and his pained eyes meet mine. The muscles in his neck tighten and he seems as if he’s physically restraining himself from pouncing on me. The idea is confusing considering seconds ago he shot me down after my poor attempts to get him to touch me. I want him to touch me though. Badly. I want to feel his sweaty skin pressed against mine.

  “You’re torturing me.”

  I scrunch my brows and frown at him. “Because I’m annoying you? You don’t want me?”

  War is an ocean I’ll never be able to navigate. His head a sea of unchartered, choppy waves. I feel as though I’m an inexperienced swimmer in a sinking boat and he’s the treacherous, stormy waters threatening to pull me under into the darkness with him.

  Something tells me I’ll drown.

  That I’ll never understand what goes on inside his head.

  I’ll lose my mind trying to figure him out.

  “Jesus,” he curses and runs his fingers through his hair, “of course I want you. I’d be a fool not to.”

  I chew on my lip and tears well in my eyes again. “I guess I don’t understand then.”

  My words seem to anger him and I don’t know why. Further proving my thoughts, he scowls at me. “She replied.”

  As if cold water has been splashed over me, I jerk upright. “Wait? What?” I demand. “Who replied? Mom? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  He shrugs his shoulders and leaves the room. I don’t miss the bulge in his pants. He’d been turned on despite the way he’d acted—as if I was an annoyance for displaying how I felt. I’ll break into his head one day.

  Hastily, I drag the laptop onto my knees and open my email.

  Baylee,

  Where in the hell are you? Give me your location so I can come get you. I’ve been worried sick.

  Dad

  Tears blur the screen in front of me and I choke back a sob. Dad is pissed at me because he assumes I put them through all of this heartache for selfish reasons. If only he knew it was that bastard. His best friend who stole me and put me into this position.

  Dad,

  Why did it take you so long to respond? I’m somewhere safe. Don’t worry about me. Did you happen to get any money? To help with Mom? I love you, Daddy.

  Baylee

  I swipe a tear from my cheek and lose myself to a memory of my dad.

  “You’re too young to date, Baylee,” Dad snapped as he washed the grease from his hands after a long day at the machine shop he worked for.

  I chewed on my lip and glanced at the door. Brandon would be here any minute to “study.” What Dad didn’t know was that we were boyfriend and girlfriend at school. We held hands and he walked me to all my classes. Technically we are dating even though we didn’t go anywhere to do it. He’d even kissed me many times after school when no teachers were around. I’d felt his erection through his pants and he’d, on more than one occasion, touched my breasts through my shirt. I would definitely not be telling Dad that though.

  “But Dad, all the other girls my age—”

  He slammed his fist on the counter and affixed me with a firm glare. “I don’t give a damn about those other girls. They’ll end up knocked up before graduation. Not my daughter.”

  Tears welled in my eyes and my shoulders slouched in defeat.

  “Oh, Tony,” Mom chirped as she entered the kitchen, “let her date. Don’t you remember when we were her age? We’d been together since the eighth grade.”

  My dad’s scowl melted away at hearing her soothing voice. She stepped into his hug and he kissed the top of her blonde head. “That’s exactly why I don’t want her dating. I know what we did and at what age we did it.”

  I cringed at thinking of what my parents did. I wasn’t clueless though and pushed away thoughts that would make me puke.

  “But Brandon’s a nice guy and—”

  Ding dong!

  My eyes widened as Dad went back to glaring. “Your study partner is the guy you want to date? Hell no.”

  My skin heated and I flashed my mom a horrified look as Dad stormed away to answer the door. I chased after him and peeked around my dad’s broad shoulders to see a frightened Brandon staring up at him. Brandon was cute today still in his baseball shirt. His dark hair was spiked up perfectly. Someone might poke their eye out if they got too close.

  “Tony,” Mom warned.

  Somehow, even though Dad was the gruff, tough one, Mom always seemed to win when it came to him. She’d always been my ally and best friend.

  “You want to date my daughter?” Dad snarled.

  Brandon’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat and he managed to get out a husky reply. “Yes, sir. I like Baylee a lot.”

  Dad grunted and waved for him to enter. “What is it exactly that you ‘like’ about my daughter?”

  Brandon stepped in, his body slightly quivering and his eyes darted over to mine. He was so good looking. One day he’d grow into a handsome man. His height towered over mine but Dad was still taller. Brandon was muscular but not as big as my dad who did physical labor all day at the shop. Dad’s beard was thick and his dark hair hung in his eyes making him look like a feral animal in comparison to Brandon’s clean-cut appearance. I knew women found Dad attractive because I’d heard on more than one occasion my mom get jealous of a few of our overly neighborly neighbors.

  “I like her smile. She’s one of the nicest people I know,” Brandon said softly and his gaze found mine. “I like that she cares about people at school and makes it a point to talk to everyone no matter if they’re cool or not. And I like that she runs the track not as if she’s running from the world but as if she’s runn
ing toward it, embracing all that life has to offer her.”

  Mom let out a sigh and I couldn’t help but grin at my secret boyfriend.

  “So poetic,” Gabe mocked with a chuckle as he entered through our open front door. My eyes tore from Brandon to regard our neighbor and my dad’s best friend. His eyes always seemed to follow me from room to room. It was as if he looked through me into my head and could understand my most secret thoughts. He unnerved me—even if he was really hot for an older guy.

  “Whatcha think, Gabe?” Dad asked. “This boy good enough to date my Baylee?”

  Brandon swallowed down his apparent nerves but straightened his back to meet the glare of Gabe.

  “As long as they’re not having sex, I don’t see the harm in her dating a boy.” Gabe’s eyes flitted down my body and a chill ran through me. My boobs have grown and Brandon’s not the only one who noticed them. I’d caught Gabe staring on more than one occasion. I kind of liked that he liked my body. It made me feel more grown up than I was.

  “They’re not having sex. Ever,” Dad said firmly.

  Brandon nodded in a clipped manner as if to agree with my dad. My heart did a nosedive because I’d already been having many dirty fantasies involving Brandon and I. Chewing on my lip, I darted my gaze back to Gabe. He did that thing where he gave me a look that seemed to implant itself inside my head. A look that said, I’d have sex with you because I’m a man. My lower belly started to ache and I had the urge to run to my room away from the awkward situation.

  “Gabe, Tony,” Mom blurted out suddenly, “get out here and start the grill. The kids have some studying to do. Leave them alone, and Brandon, I hope you’ll join us for dinner.”

  Brandon let out a rush of relieved breath. “I’d love to, ma’am.”

  Gabe seemed unimpressed but I was very impressed. Brandon was a sweet, sexy boy but he sure did hold his own with two fierce men. I thought I fell for my boyfriend a little more.

  “Fine,” Dad groaned but grabbed Brandon’s bicep. “But if I so much as hear you think about hurting my daughter, we’ll be having you for dinner, all right.”

  With that threat, he released his arm and stormed out the door with a smirking Gabe on his heels.

  A chime from the computer alerting me of a new e-mail startles me from my memory. I blink away the tears and open the e-mail.

  Baylee

  Yes, I got the money. Money that isn’t needed. What’s needed is my daughter. Come home. You’re a teenager and if I find out who has you, I’ll ruin them for kidnapping my daughter and having sex with a minor.

  Dad

  I gape at his reply. I’d expected him to be angry, but he’s acting out of character. For a brief moment, I wonder if Gabe is the one replying. That idea sends a shiver down my spine and I shake away the terrifying thought.

  Dad,

  Why isn’t Mom replying to me? Is she in the hospital? Did they find a donor? And I’m not sleeping with him. There’s someone else that should be ruined—a monster that is too close to home.

  I pause and delete the last sentence for fear if Gabe really is the one behind the e-mail. Even if he didn’t write it, I know it’ll only be a matter of time before he reads it. He and Dad are close, and if Dad thinks I’ve been kidnapped, he’ll no doubt use Gabe’s help and share with him this information. This whole thing is complicated and exhausting. I continue my e-mail.

  Please just accept the money we send and use it for Mom. I promise when things are better, I’ll come see you both. Things have been hard, Dad. Trust that I’m still your daughter and would only be doing seemingly hurtful things if there were a reason. You know me better than to assume the worst. I love you and look for more money. Can you let Mom reply?

  Baylee

  Tears well in my eyes and then spill down over my cheeks. Less than a month ago, I was spending my days flirting with my boyfriend between classes, training for a track meet after school, and having long talks with my mother about my childhood, my relationship with Brandon, and my future.

  Fast forward a few weeks and I’m craving physical attention from a man who purchased me for companionship, worrying over whether or not Gabe will come back for me, and attempting to get my father to understand my situation without telling him.

  My, how things have changed.

  A ding on the computer has me jerking my attention back to my inbox. I let out a tiny sigh of disappointment to see that it’s from War, who’s undoubtedly hiding from me in the other room. Away from my childish advances.

  Peace,

  You’re more than I could have ever imagined. I know you’re not happy but I think with time you could be. Please forgive me for selfishly wanting you all to myself for a couple of hours. I knew the email would upset you and all I wanted was to make you happy.

  It’s the least I can do for all that you have done for me.

  War

  I swipe away my tears and tap away a response.

  War,

  It’s hard to be happy when your life is a big, confusing, frightening mess. Granted, I’m not fearful around you, but I am fearful for the simple fact that Gabe is still out there. Most assuredly, he’s there with my parents or at least in contact with my dad. I feel disconnected with the outside world. I could be contacting the police, explaining to my parents about Gabe, anything. I’m not though. I’m pretending to be your doting companion with you. And while playing chess with you, eating your super healthy vegan meals, and chatting to you about every single thing I can think about to keep the boredom at bay passes the time, I’m still stuck in this box. Your house. Locked in. Away from everyone.

  I know you say I’m not a prisoner. Well show me.

  I know you say you’d be a fool not to want me. Prove it.

  I know you hate Gabe for what he’s done to me. Then help me.

  Right now, I’m like your annoying little puppy that you got stuck with. You’re afraid I’ll get dog hair all over your pretty couch or pee on the floor. That I’ll bark too loudly and the neighbors will find out you have a yappy dog. You don’t want me to chew on your stuff, yet you give me nothing to play with.

  I’m not happy, War.

  I’m sorry.

  Your puppy you’ve been saddled with,

  Peace

  Feeling satisfied with my e-mail, I fire it off to him and glare at the screen. My fingers tap impatiently on the device as I wait for a response from him or my parents. Minutes later, my computer pings again.

  Peace,

  I could have done without the puppy peeing reference. Jesus. That shit is fucking with my head just thinking about it. Look, I’m sorry too. I’m not a monster, Bay. I made a mistake—buying you like I did. I was too delusional to even think through the consequences or outcomes of such a fantastical plan. Now, I get it. And that’s at the expense of you. For that, I apologize. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

  Until then, know this. You’re not a puppy to me.

  In fact, you’re as far from annoying as one could get.

  You’re a light in my dark world. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And you’re right, I’m holding you prisoner just as I promised not to. Your Internet access is no longer restricted. Find out what you can about your parents and Gabe. Do whatever makes you happy. But please don’t create a trail that leads back to us. That means no posts on Facebook or anything of the sort. Please.

  War

  PS—the code to the alarm is 1200, the same number of times you blink per hour.

  My heart thunders to life. The code, although weird, is no longer a secret. Internet access is no longer restricted. Finally, I can start to make a plan.

  War,

  Thank you.

  Peace

  Flipping over to the Internet, I immediately type in: Missing Person, Baylee Winston. Another chime on my computer alerts me to an e-mail. Toggling back over to my inbox, I pray it’s my parents. Unfortunately, it’s only another e-mail from War.

  Peace,

  There’s som
ething you should know.

  Nobody’s looking for you.

  I didn’t know how to tell you sooner and don’t know what to make of it.

  I’m so sorry, Bay.

  War

  I shake my head in argument and flip back to my Internet browser. Several long minutes of researching prove he was right. There isn’t one single article of me missing. This makes no sense. I’ve been gone for over three weeks. Only in the past week have my parents been notified that it wasn’t against my will, even though it actually was. So why is nobody looking for me?

  Looking over my shoulder, I make sure he isn’t coming and attempt to sign into Facebook. Over and over again, I try my password and it’s wrong. It was Winston20. Both of my parents and Brandon knew the password. Did one of them change it?

  Quickly, I whip up a fake account under the name Winnie Stone. Mom and Brandon have their pages locked down from people who aren’t their friends, mine doesn’t seem to exist, and Dad’s is open.

  Recent pictures.

  Of stupid car parts.

  I don’t understand.

  With hot, angry tears in my eyes, I fire off another message to War.

  War,

  Why aren’t they looking for me?

  Peace

  I want to scream at him to get his coward self in here and stop hiding away from me so we can discuss this but I’m too overwhelmed. Fear roils my belly and bile creeps up my throat. Something is wrong.

  I exist, dammit!

  So why in the hell does it seem like I disappeared from the face of the earth and nobody even noticed.

  Peace,

  I don’t know why. But I’ll figure it out. I promise.

  War

  I’m tired of his broken promises. And I’ve certainly never been great at patience. It’s time to find out what’s going on. Even if that means breaking my promise to War.

  Tonight, I’m leaving.

  SHE DIDN’T RESPOND back to my e-mail. Why the hell would she? I mean, I’ve acted like a complete ass toward her. Not given in to her innocent advances. Withheld useful information from her. Lied to her. She probably hates me.

  As she should.

  I paid for her.

  Fucking paid money for her.