Survival

by J Marie

  So that was it then. Plan A it is.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he said, heading for the door, “I have some work to do.”

  Panic rushed me as I realized the work he was referring to was probably locating my family for their execution. I threw myself forward from the floor and raced after him.

  “Wait! Darren, don’t!” I shouted as I ran after him, but by the time I reached the door, he had just closed it without even bothering to turn around as the lock clicked into place. My entire body slammed into the door while my fists pounded into the hard oak. “Darren, please don’t do this! Don’t leave me in here!” But I could already hear him walking up the stairs.

  I pounded on the door for what felt like hours, kicking it and throwing my body with as much force as I could muster, but it never fell. My entire body ached along with my fists as bruises formed all over the place.

  I shoved myself from the door and paced back and forth in the black room, my hands sweaty with anxiety as I thought long and hard about how to break the fuck out of this prison that was my life. How could I get a message to my family to run?

  I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. I needed to calm myself the fuck down if I was going to think clearly and figure this out. I forced myself to stop pacing and stood very still, taking long, deep breaths and exhaling them slowly. I needed to be rational; I needed to focus.

  In a room surrounded by sex toys of pain and torture, I found a way to drown it all out and concentrate on one singular moment. I lowered myself down to my knees, parted them slightly in a comfortable position, and placed my hands lightly on top of my thighs. Bowing my head, I closed my eyes and quieted my mind. I silenced everything around me until the only thing I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat.

  I listened to it intently; the sound and strength of each beat resonated through me while I brought myself to an absolute calm. Nothing was around me for miles, nothing above me or below me. There was just me and nothing else.

  I relaxed every muscle in my body one by one, releasing the tension from my shoulders that reached all the way to my lower back. I took long, deep breaths, sucking them in through my nose and breathing out through my mouth, releasing all my stress and anguish.

  I took about ten minutes of pure solid meditation before my heart rate had slowed and I felt in control of myself again. My fear was gone, replaced with determination for a solution.

  And then it all went to shit when my stomach growled like a miserable little bitch.

  I had forgotten I hadn’t eaten yet, and it was probably well into the afternoon. It wasn’t like Darren to starve me, but maybe with today’s events, he’d forgotten. I stood up from my position, my stomach now tight from hunger pains as I walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down, facing the door. My hands gripped the edge of the mattress as I waited for Darren to enter the room. It was maybe an hour later when the door finally opened.

  I nearly jolted forward, ready to rush the door when I saw Scott slide half of his body through to glare at me in warning.

  “Don’t.” He pointed at me. “There are two more guards out here, so don’t bother trying anything. I’m just bringing you some food since you haven’t eaten all day.”

  I just glared at him, my knuckles turning white as they continued to grip the mattress.

  “Well, make it quick before I change my mind,” I warned him, a slight hint of bitchy sarcasm on my tongue.

  He gave me a smirk and then walked in with a silver tray, quickly shutting the door behind him. I watched him with hard eyes as he set the tray down on the nightstand and headed back to the door.

  “Tell me,” I said to him before he opened the door. He turned to look at me. “Are you looking forward to helping Darren hunt down my family or are you just following orders?”

  He just shook his head at me with a glare and shut the door behind him, the sound of the lock vibrating in the pit of my stomach. I turned my head toward the tray sitting on the nightstand and walked over to it. There was a plastic bowl of what looked like a thick potato soup, a plate of Greek salad, and a cup of mixed fruit. There was also a giant bottle of water with a small folded note next to it. I picked it up and unfolded it to find Darren’s writing.

  Your practice of meditation is impressive.

  Use it to contain your outbursts next time

  and I may not have to punish you as often.

  -Darren

  Fury raced through my veins as I crumpled the note in my hand and chucked it at the door. Fuck him for watching me. He was always watching, though, so I didn’t know why I was surprised. I snatched the bottle of water from the tray and gulped down nearly half of it. I nibbled on the soup and salad and had only a few bites of the fruit. With all the knots in my stomach, I didn’t have much room for anything else.

  Exhausted and full, I laid my head down on the pillow and curled into myself. I closed my eyes and hoped for the first time that maybe I just wouldn’t wake up and this would all be over.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Crumble

  I heard screaming. Sharp screams that pierced my ears. I could see the gardener screeching in fear, his face and body covered in blood as he watched while his family was murdered in front of his eyes. But someone else was standing in the background, someone I had forced myself to forget long ago. Megan, the girl from the warehouse, whom I had tried to instill hope in only for her to have her neck snapped by Darren right in front of my eyes. I now had two deaths to claim responsibility for and it made me weep.

  “Your fault,” Megan said in the background as she watched the gardener with calm indifference.

  “No,” I whispered back, my tears ready to drown me.

  Then a loud bang shattered my ears and a small black and red bullet hole appeared between the eyes of the gardener.

  My vision warped until I suddenly saw my family, my friends … Jason. They were all running, running from a storm of bullets that rained down on them from all directions. Blood spilled and splattered everywhere, coating everything in a dark glossy red. I fought to save them, but I felt paralyzed, unable to move even an inch to try to help them. I watched as both of my younger brothers fell to the ground, deep crimson soaking their clothes, the light slowly draining from their eyes.

  I jolted from my sleep as a scream ripped from my throat, shredding my vocal cords. My breath came in and out in heavy gusts as I fought to calm myself down. Sweat covered my body while my fingers gripped the tangled sheets around me. I tried to get a grip on myself and released the sheets before my knuckles decided to burst through my skin. I ran my hands through my hair and took several long, deep breaths, but as I started to finally calm down, I realized I was back in my room and I was not alone.

  I raised my eyes to find Darren sitting on the chaise next to the window watching me. Shadowed in darkness, I couldn’t see his face very well, but I knew exactly where his eyes were.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked him angrily.

  “Do I really need a reason?” he answered calmly.

  I suppose not.

  I let the question linger before he stood from the chaise and walked over to the bed. I shot out from the covers and moved to the other side to avoid him as best I could. As I moved, my clothing felt different. I was no longer in the torn dress I wore earlier but in one of those silky nightgowns. No bra or panties.

  “Now is not the time to fight me, Jaden. It’s after one in the morning. Get back into bed,” he said as he slowly sauntered toward me.

  “Get. Out,” I spat, my body turning to the side as it prepared for a fight.

  Darren shook his head at me disapprovingly, his light footsteps beginning to close the distance between us. I could feel the panic mixed with rage creating a storm of hatred and passion inside of me. And fuck if it didn’t drench me.

  “Get back in bed,” he ordered sternly, pointing at my messy bed.

  “No,” I replied harshly.

  Oh, shit. The forbidden word.
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  Darren then lunged for me with an animalistic scowl on his face. I quickly backed up from his advance, but just before my back was about to hit the wall behind me, I brought my foot all the way up and shoved it right under his chin at his throat, nearly stopping him in his tracks. My leg was in a full split as it stretched as high as it could go to reach Darren’s trachea.

  He stood there, towering over me with my foot neatly tucked under his chin as it pushed against his Adam’s apple. My fists remained in front of me, tight and defensive as I stared him right in the eye, glaring with everything I had, but all he did was smirk at me with a certain knowing smile.

  Then he quickly jostled with his pants, grabbed my hips, and suddenly entered my now fully exposed opening with so much force, had he not been directly in front of me, I would have doubled over.

  “Oh, fuck!” I groaned loudly from shock as his cock was now firmly nestled in my core. How fucking stupid was I to leave myself so exposed for something like that?

  No panties on? Jaden, you fucking idiot!

  Anger flooded my face as I tried to retract my leg from his chin, but now, he just held it in place against his shoulder and shoved me further into the wall with his giant muscular body.

  “Ah!” I gasped as I felt the full force of him inside me.

  “Well, this is quite the position you’ve created. We might have to try this one more often.” Darren grinned with amusement as he grazed his fingers up and down my leg before clutching my ankle in a tight grip.

  I tried to make use of my hands and began to strike Darren wherever I could find his flesh, but he just grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head with one hand. His other hand then went to the back of my hip and he began to savagely pump away inside me.

  I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head as Darren brought my body to heel while he fucked me senseless against the wall. My core was instantly wet at the feel of him, my body’s conditioning for him never failing to surprise me.

  Darren then bent low and picked me up by my ass before swiftly turning and slamming me down onto the bed. He practically ripped his own shirt off, revealing a sexy, heavily chiseled and scarred chest and repositioned himself so that my leg was now bent over his shoulder as he continued to fuck me relentlessly. His hands then went to the hem of my nightgown and ripped it clean in half like it was paper, exposing everything.

  With an animalistic growl, Darren took my wrists and pinned them on either side of my head while his head dipped low and he rubbed his face into my breasts. My back involuntarily arched as he took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking hard until it peaked to his satisfaction. My breath came in and out in heavy little gasps as I felt myself on the cusp of one hell of an orgasm.

  How I could ever find pleasure with a man like him, I have no idea. Somehow, in the midst of it all, I had trained myself to accept him because it was so much easier to accept his pleasure than to suffer his pain. There was no denying him. Ever. Otherwise, my pleasure fuck would instantly turn into a punishment fuck, and I had experienced enough of those to avoid them when I could.

  I tried so hard to keep my moans down, to hide my pleasure, but somehow, he’d always find that spot of mine. That spot that could send me into overdrive in 3.5 seconds. My special little come button.

  “Oh, fuck,” Darren groaned as he drilled into me, and before I knew it, I was coming like my life depended on it.

  I moaned louder than I expected as the warm rush swept over me and I felt a tiny moment of bliss. Darren rode my waves and then flipped me onto my stomach, pulling my hips into his groin as he fucked me roughly from behind.

  He moaned above me as he pumped in and out before gripping a fist full of my hair and jerking my head back to expose my neck. I felt his head dip low until his teeth found my throat and bit down hard. I shrieked with a moan as my fingers dug further into the sheets, grasping for something to hang on to.

  When his teeth released my skin, his lips found my ear. “What have I repeatedly told you about using that word?” he growled.

  Fear crept up my spine, allowing another gush of heat to rush to my core. My fear of him somehow quickly became the cause of my arousal as the two now came hand in hand. There was something so different about being afraid while you were being fucked – like fucking in public; it made everything that much more surreal. The rush I got from it was sometimes exactly what I needed. It was like fucking on a plane … right before you knew it was about to crash.

  Darren’s hand reached around my throat, his thumb lining up against my jaw as he gripped it tight, inevitably pulling me back toward him. “You’re mine,” he seethed and slapped my ass hard. I groaned loudly as he continued to pump into me, slow and hard, hitting that spot every time until I was on the verge of coming undone a second time. His hand finally made its way to my breast and pinched my nipple, causing me to gasp and jerk against him until he flipped me again onto my back without missing a beat.

  Wrapping my legs around his torso, his thrusts quickly found my spot again, driving me wild and nearly begging for more. His hand shot back to my throat and held on tight as he continued to fuck me with everything he had. I had to give it to him. His stamina was incredible.

  My hands wrapped around his wrist as he began to grip too tight; so tight I could feel my vision begin to blur and darken. But then I heard his voice.

  “Oh fuck, Jaden. Come, now,” he rasped, loosening his grip on my throat but keeping it in place possessively.

  The orgasm that came next was absolute euphoria. It washed over me slowly, but with a fierce intensity that rivaled my other orgasms. Darren found his release as he filled me up and then collapsed on top of me, his face buried in my hair that fanned out around my head.

  We both laid there, exhausted and panting as we calmed down from our orgasmic state. When Darren finally lifted his face from my hair, he looked deep into my eyes, a longing within them I didn’t recognize.

  “Goddamn, princess, I am never letting you go,” he said with conviction.

  This much I knew, but one thing was still nagging at me that I had always wanted to know.

  “Why? Why do you call me that?” I asked softly, shaking my head in wonder.

  He knew how much I hated that pet name. I was no fucking princess. I never was and never wanted to be. Princesses required rescuing. And the real princess was my freedom. I was the knight in shining armor still battling the dragon that held it captive. A dragon named Darren Davis.

  Darren slowly lowered his forehead to mine, resting it there for a moment before gazing down at me with amusement and adoration.

  “Because your king has yet to make you his queen,” he whispered simply with the slightest smile.

  I didn’t expect that response, yet somehow, that bit of Darren logic made perfect sense to me. And I had no idea how to reply to that.

  He then gave me that sexy chuckle of his and kissed me something fierce. When he was done, and I was breathless, he pulled me toward the pillows and laid my head down on his chest. He wrapped my arm around his muscled torso and draped my leg over his thigh.

  As my body melted into him, guilt flooded me like a tidal wave. I had just received pleasure from a man who was currently planning to kill my entire family. I felt weak and pathetic as a single tear slid down my cheek and fell onto Darren’s chest. His arms slowly tightened around me as he could feel my anguish start to consume me. My tears fell consecutively, heavy with sorrow, guilt, and hopelessness. After everything he had done, he couldn’t possibly be this cruel to me. He couldn’t.

  “Please … please don’t kill them, Darren,” I pleaded softly, squeezing my eyes shut. “Please. I’ll do anything.”

  I could hear Darren release a slow, heavy breath through his nose before he brought his lips to my head and kissed my temple.

  “Shhh … of course, you will,” he replied softly. “Now, go to sleep.”

  Of course, I will … because I’m already supposed to.

  That night I cried
myself to sleep in Darren’s arms while he comforted me with kisses and a gentle touch. I wanted to berate him, I wanted to push him away, and I wanted to fight him until the end of my days—until there was nothing left of me—but even the thought of all that was exhausting. So instead I closed my eyes and pretended to drift off to better times when I was happy and loved. Not owned and imprisoned.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Plan

  The next morning, I woke up alone and sore as fuck. My entire body hurt while a sting of tenderness throbbed between my legs. I turned my body, resting my head on the pillow, and stared out the window. The sun was low in the sky, just rising above the water and creating a soft, warm glow in my room. I listened to the birds chirp and sing outside, their songs serenading me into a calm I wanted to drown myself in.

  I laid there like that for the longest time, just listening and enjoying a small moment of peace that I rarely got to experience since coming into Darren’s life. I never thought it was possible to hate someone so much yet need them at the same time. Darren comforted me through my tears last night, never saying a word as he rubbed my back and kissed my temple. I didn’t know how he could comfort me knowing he was the cause of my pain, knowing he would continue to cause my pain when he could avoid it altogether. How he could even stand to look at himself in the mirror was a mystery to me.

  He had to be a sociopath. It was the only explanation. How could he not feel a single ounce of remorse for me? There was no sympathy. No compassion. Just his never-ending will. What Darren wants, Darren gets, no matter the cost. I wanted to cost him everything—his money, his reputation, his heart, his mental status, and then his life. I wanted him to regret the day he ever laid eyes on me … and one day soon, I swore I would see that.