Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character)

by Brannigan, Grace

  "So you still enjoy make boxes for a living?" she quipped, needing to shake the attraction nipping at her.

  "Sure, why not? Miller manufactures the best cardboard boxes this side of the Mississippi." Jake's mouth quirked up at the corners as if he were amused by her.

  "I'm having a hard time putting the two together," Tye said smartly. She put her hands on her hips. "You know, man who makes boxes, horse that races like the wind."

  Jake looked at her thoughtfully. "After my dad’s accident I had to take over the family business. That doesn't mean I’ve turned into a dead bore," he finished dryly. "I have managed to come up with a semblance of a life in the time you’ve been away." His words were smooth, but cutting all the same.

  Tye felt heat mount into her cheeks. Embarrassed by her own deliberate lack of finesse, "I-I didn't mean that," she said hurriedly.

  Jake dusted his hands off and moved away. "I think you did. I have a few things to take care of before I leave, so if you'll excuse me."

  Tye knew he didn’t give a damn if she minded him walking away. She had offended him, unintentionally or perhaps intentionally. She had wanted to distance him from herself and maybe that was her warped way of doing it. Nothing like implying a guy was as boring as dirt or boxes. She didn't really believe that, but she needed a defense. The same intense feelings she’d always felt for Jake gripped her. She didn’t want to feel them. What Jake stirred in her made her feel vulnerable. She’d never survive loving and leaving Jake a second time. And she would leave. They both knew it was a given. There was no place for her here, with Jake.

  Tye could only guess at the pain Jake had experienced when he’d been forced to give up a promising football career. He had been on the verge of a scholarship. Then, abruptly, he’d had to shoulder responsibility for his family, the business, his father’s care. Tye knew at the time they were too young. She’d been too young. She had left and it had broken her and his.

  Being near him did something to her hormones, no doubt about it. The man was that good-looking, but then, she had known plenty of good-looking men on the rodeo circuit. Tye felt a momentary remorse for the partying lifestyle she had led, then immediately put a rein on her thoughts. She had never worried about her lifestyle before the accident, so why was she giving it a second thought now? Darn Jake; it was his fault she was suffering all this introspection.

  Confused, Tye stared after Jake as he walked away. He wore creased gray pants and a pristine white shirt with a tie that looked like silk. He used to know how to kick back and have a good time. Each time she had seen him since arriving here he had been wearing a suit. Tye tried to recall that night he had stayed with her while she was pinned under the bull, but most of it still remained hazy. Except for his eyes. They haunted her still, but not in a bad way, and that worried her.

  Since she had left Jake all those years ago, she had never been tempted to spend too much time with any one man. She had chosen her path and stuck to it. Rodeo, first and foremost. Her mama had taken that path for a time, then quit to raise Tye and Ben. Daddy had never left rodeo for very long, and probably wouldn't until the day he died. The plan had always been for Tye to follow in her daddy's footsteps. Although he had won dozens of buckles, trophies, saddles and the like, he had never made it to the finals. Making the finals had been Tye's dream for as long as she could remember. Daddy used to call her his "wild child." He’d bragged to anyone who would listen that she had the guts and grit to win big. Daddy had made her believe it.

  Tye had witnessed firsthand what the rodeo life did to families. She knew of the loneliness Mama couldn't hide. Daddy had made a good living at rodeo, but it had come at a cost to everyone. Tye wouldn't marry and raise kids the way she had been raised. It wouldn't be fair to anybody. She was her own person, and she had decided, selfish or not, that she was living her life the way she chose. Jake would never know how her decision to leave him had torn her apart. How do you recover from a once-in-a-lifetime love who you threw away?

  No doubt there were plenty of women willing to take on the position of Mrs. Jake Miller. But not her. With a grimace, Tye laughed at herself. Who was she kidding? She had never stopped yearning for him, but she’d never be asked again. Jake had his pride, just as she had hers. She would never beg him to take her back.

  Tye recalled how Jake had watched her in the rodeo yard before that fateful ride on old Hit Man. She had even thought of boldly seeking him out after her ride. They might have joined the gang and gone out for a good time.

  It was too bad she had alienated him, because now she couldn't ask him all the questions inside her head. He had so much land, a big, spacious barn…why was it all going to waste? Tye stopped in her tracks. Why in the world should she care? she asked herself. Jake might look like a cowgirl's idea of heaven, but he was as steady as any Mr. Right. Thank God finding a Mr. Right wasn’t on her agenda.

  There had been a time when she’d do anything for Jake. Her seventeenth summer had been happy, idyllic. Jake had followed the rodeos with her and fit right in. They’d had vague plans for the future. Jake would take his scholarship, play football and someday they would buy a ranch. But Tye hadn't really looked further ahead than that summer. When Jake’s father had had a car accident and then suffered a stroke it was the end of their world as Tye knew it. Overnight the welfare of his family had rested on Jake’s shoulders. He was running in ten directions, trying to keep everything from falling apart.

  Tye knew she was part of the problem. Jake needed to concentrate on his family, not follow her around. He had no time for her. Their plans to marry when she turned eighteen fell to dust. Tye had told Jake she needed breathing space. The idea of marriage had suddenly been too real, and had begun to scare the hell out of her. She didn’t know anything about being a wife or caring for babies. She wanted to play, not be bogged down with responsibility, the way Jake had suddenly been.

  He hadn’t seen it that way. Despite everything, he didn’t want what was between them to change. It tore her apart, but her decision had totally alienated Jake. Afterward, she’d tried writing to him, calling him, but he’d cut her out of his life. His indifference had sliced her to the bone. He didn’t understand that the rodeo wouldn’t wait, that she had to make her mark.

  In the intervening years Tye had wondered if she had made the right decision. At the time, the situation had seemed so hopeless, Jake’s burdens so heavy. Leaving had seemed the only solution.

  Tye put a brake on her own thoughts now. Here she was, worrying about a relationship between her and Jake, when no doubt it was the furthest thing from his mind. He had matured into a sensible, solid citizen, too smart to hook up with a loose cannon like herself, especially now that she had a bum leg. He would want a homemaker, a round-the-clock mother for his kids, someone dependable with a capital D. Tye had long ago discarded any such notions. Angrily, she swiped at the wetness on her cheek. She had made her life her own. All the faults were hers, and it wouldn’t do any good to regret the decisions she’d made.

  Stopping to rest a moment near the barn, Tye leaned against the open wooden door, staring at the fields as the sun crept higher in the sky.

  With a wry grin, she dropped onto an old rickety bench beside the doorway, stretching her legs out before her. Her right leg ached just the tiniest bit, but it was a good ache. She had to be careful not to overdo it or she would be back on crutches with blisters and sores. It was a constant battle, having to be careful about things she'd never had to think about before.

  Gently, Tye massaged the limb. Looking around, she had to admit Jake's ranch, with its seemingly endless stretch of pasture and low hills, was a rancher's dream.

  Tye decided she wanted to explore the layout of the land and become familiar with the place. Even if she didn't stay long, she liked to know her way around. Maybe Jake would let her work with the horses, even if she just brushed them or exercised them on a lunge line.

  Right now a walk would strengthen her leg. The long driveway to the ho
use would be the ideal place to start, for she could negotiate slight inclines. Her therapist had told her walking would become easier the more she did it.

  Resolutely, Tye got to her feet.

  #

  Jake was getting ready to leave for town when Tye passed his office window. Curious as to where she was going, he watched her walk down the driveway and disappear around a curve.

  Mentally, he shrugged his shoulders, then pulled on his suit jacket. It wasn't any of his business, was it, if she wanted to go for a walk? Then a thought hit him. What if she fell and hurt herself? Who would be around to help her? There were some uneven stretches along the driveway. He opened the glass door leading to his back deck and skirted the swimming pool. Quickly, he strode around the house.

  Jake felt a need to keep an eye on Tye, if only for her own safety. He remembered how rebellious she could be, how full of determination, but he also knew this could be a real touchy situation. He had a feeling she'd be furious if she knew he was worried about her. Still, Jake told himself, he didn’t need a lawsuit on his hands if she got hurt. He needed to keep an eye on her.

  Rounding the first curve in the drive, he spotted her and quickly ducked into the woods on one side. At least the driveway had been paved last year and the going was fairly smooth. Jake wondered if Tye realized that the way back to the house would be a steady incline. He reminded himself that he had good reasons for staying out of sight, but felt slightly foolish, sneaking around his own property.

  Jake pushed his hair back, feeling sweat dampening his forehead and the shirt under his jacket. He should have left the jacket at the house. Tye didn't seem to be having any problems. In fact, she seemed steadier on her feet then when he had seen her at the barn earlier. Jake began to feel he’d worried needlessly, until she suddenly left the paved drive and wandered toward the woods. Why the devil was she going there? She could really get hurt on the uneven ground.

  Jake pushed tree limbs back so he could see her better. She looked around a few times, but he ducked down quickly. He muttered a curse when he heard the sharp snap of a twig beneath his shoe.

  "Who's there?" Tye called out.

  Resignedly, Jake pushed aside a tangle of brush and stepped forward.

  "Jake?"

  "Hello, Tye." Casually, he straightened his tie and ran his palms over his hair to smooth it down.

  Her hands were on her hips and she had a suspicious look on her face. "What are you doing in the woods?"

  Jake felt heat slide up his cheeks and he cleared his throat. "I forgot to mention the hot water was off because of a power shortage earlier this morning, so if you want to take a shower, it'll take awhile for the water to heat up."

  "Oh, okay, Jake. Thanks." She moved close to him and lifted a hand toward his head. Jake felt her fingers on his hair, and a tingling spread through his scalp. He gripped her wrist and jerked it away from his head. He stared at the small twigs in her fingers, then looked into her face. She seemed ready to burst into laughter. Some of the tension eased from Jake.

  "Somehow, I don't think these will go well with your business meeting."

  Jake released her wrist. "Thanks. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about the water." He looked at his watch. He was going to be late. "Do you want company walking back to the house?"

  "Sure, if you have time. You can show me the path you took through the woods."

  "The path?" Jake thought fast, then took her arm and guided her to the edge of the trees. There was no path. "Sure, follow me."

  Jake managed to find a fairly clear area for them to walk through. Worried about her falling, he deliberately shortened his pace, holding her arm the entire time. Strangely, she didn't protest, and he began to feel some of the tension ease from his body.

  Partway to the house he heard Tye give a small laugh. He looked at her questioningly, seeing the light in her eyes, the relaxed curve of her lush lips. He smothered a groan, then looked fixedly ahead. How different she looked from last night, when everything had seemed to weigh her down.

  "Well, Jake, it’s understandable why Ben has kept in touch with you all these years."

  Surprised, Jake came to a standstill. "Why is that?"

  "Ben's a pretty smart guy. It's because you're such a good friend, and friends like you are hard to find. I’m glad you’re his friend." To Jake's ears her voice sounded almost wistful. In the next moment, the thought was banished when she gave him a brilliant, almost carefree smile. "Do you think we could manage to be friends?"

  "Friends?" Jake felt a rush of anger. What the hell was she asking? How could they be friends? He didn’t want to be her friend. He wanted her to get well and leave, so he’d never have to think about her again. He wouldn’t think of her as a friend. Friends didn’t go away, they kept in touch. If she didn’t leave, all the old emotion might surface and he’d make a fool of himself again. He knew the pain of trying to hold on to a woman who wanted to let go.

  "I think we can do it, Jake. It’s been a long time since we were anything to each other."

  Tye’s gaze was turned away from him, and Jake wasn’t sure if that was deliberate or not. He swallowed hard, stopping the protest about to jerk from his throat.

  "You’re right, ten years is a helluva long time," he said. He told himself he’d better remember that. She had her life and he was working on his.

  "I think we should try for friendship the short time I’ll be here. It might be easier all around." Tentatively, it seemed, Tye held out a slim hand to him.

  Jake looked down at her, then let his gaze drift over her palm, the skin pale and smooth, with hardly a trace of a callus. His thoughts flashed back to the night of the accident. He recalled taking her hand then, remembered, too, the slight calluses against his own larger palm. Drawing a deep, fortifying breath, he slowly grasped her hand in his.

  Tye shook his hand firmly. "I won't break, Jake. If we're going to be friends, I want you to remember that. We’re both adults now. I think we can work through the past and leave it where it belongs."

  She looked too damned fragile to him, but Jake merely nodded and said, "Sure," with a smile. He knew he’d ruin this tentative overture if he did what he wanted to do ― step forward and plant a kiss on her luscious mouth, lose himself in her scent and warmth, like old times. "Friends," he heard himself say.

  Jake liked the feel of her hand in his. Was he such a glutton for punishment that any contact was better than none? Dangerous road there! Back up, he warned himself.

  "I think I'd enjoy that, too," she murmured. They reached the house and stopped beside his truck. As Jake opened the door and began to climb inside, Tye said almost musingly, "You didn't fool me, you know."

  Warily, he swung back to look at her. "About what?"

  "I knew you were keeping an eye on me." Before he could think up a plausible protest, she went on. "While it's kind of nice to know you were looking out for me, it's not necessary." Gently but firmly, Tye continued, "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. Forget any notions about taking me under your wing. I know you’re used to looking out for your family, but I don't need that." She added emphatically, "What I need now is a friend."

  For the second time that morning Jake felt heat creep up his neck. Taking the bull by the horns, he said, "You keep using the word friend. Do you really think it’s possible for us to be friends at this late stage?"

  Tye avoided his gaze, as if she, too, was revisiting past memories and what they had meant to each other. "I've been thinking about this arrangement. You've got a beautiful place and it's close to town. I'd be crazy to think I could do better." She turned her head and finally met his eyes. "But it creates problems if you feel like you have to watch over me."

  Jake nodded, trying to soothe the deep ache inside him. He wanted Tye to get well, but he began to wonder if he could keep his emotions in check. Why had these feelings resurfaced after so long? He should be reassured that she wanted nothing more than friendship. In a few days or weeks or months she’d be go
ne, and he could pick up the threads of his life. He’d been getting along fine, hadn’t he? He hadn’t needed her in all these years.

  "Sorry, Tye, it's merely habit that made me follow you. I would have done the same for any of my sisters. You’re right, we can be friends. Old history is old history and we’ve both moved on."

  "Do you still look out for your family?"

  "Of course, but my sisters are settled now, with families of their own."

  "All except you. You’re pretty special, Jake." Tye looked away from him, but Jake thought he saw a flash of pain or perhaps regret. "I’ve never taken care of anyone in my life, except for myself, and sometimes I wasn’t very good at that." She threw her head up almost defiantly and flashed him a smile. "Makes me seem pretty self-absorbed, doesn’t it?"

  Jake had a flashback to that night long ago when she’d walked away from him. He’d seen the same pain in her eyes then, but it hadn’t stopped her from pursuing the rodeo, and he had let her go.

  "How is your little sister Amy these days?" Tye asked, when he didn’t reply to her comment. "Last time I saw her she was about eight."

  "Amy moved out a few weeks ago. She’s sharing an apartment with some friends in the city."

  Tye jerked her head up and her eyes widened as if a thought suddenly occurred to her. "And here I am, intruding on your life, when you’ve finally got your house to yourself."

  "You've been through a bad time, Tye. You need some space to pull your life back together."

  "Yeah, I guess." Jake heard the uncertainty in her voice. As she dipped her head, her hair fell forward. Jake stuffed his fists in his pockets, squashing the urge to push back the locks hiding her eyes.

  He couldn’t touch her. They were going to be friends. There was room for nothing more, even though his traitorous heart wanted more. He wouldn’t allow this to happen again. Jake forced himself to mentally step back and take a deep breath before he did something stupid, like start wanting Tye again, and acting on it.