"You're right, Jake. It's times like this when you remind me of what I've accomplished, that I feel I can do anything." She planted a kiss on his cheek, then rained another half dozen along his jaw and lips. Jake’s body responded immediately. He tightened his arms around her.
"You're good for my ego. I think I'll keep you around."
Playfully, she leaned her full weight against him, then propped her chin in her hands, her elbows resting on his chest. "I'd like to seduce you," she said boldly. "Are you going to cooperate?" She trailed a finger down the side of his neck and snap by snap, slowly undid his shirt.
He laughed. "Depends how good you are at it."
Each popping sound brought Jake closer to the burning need he always felt for Tye. His gaze met hers and held. She wanted him, he could see it on her face. He knew her well enough by now to know she didn't want gentleness. She wanted...needed to forget, if only for a moment, the news she'd heard from her father.
Jake let the exuberance that was Tye distract him into a frenzy of need and want. They made love quickly, explosively. Jake felt as if he were being consumed by the fire in Tye, then he consumed her in turn. He wanted to protect and devour her at the same time, but he settled for reaching out and touching the stars instead. With Tye, he felt like he could do anything, be anyone. Sometimes, he even forgot the past.
He wondered how long this relationship could last. Sexual desire would only continue for so long, then it died a natural death. What if she wanted to break things off before he was ready to end it? Would he be worse off than he was before they began a relationship?
Jake cared about her, but he was determined it would go no further than the desire he felt now. They were too different. He had buried the pain of Tye’s leaving with family issues and work for ten years. He felt a clenching in his gut. When they felt the time was right, they would call it quits and they could both walk away and get on with their lives. That had been his plan all along. Closure. It’s what Tye wanted too. She would return to bull riding, maybe thinking of her time here as just a pleasant interlude. Jake didn’t want it to be like that, but he had to let her go. It hurt too damned much otherwise.
There was no way he could watch her return to bull riding. Obviously she was still bent on doing so. Her resolve had not changed. She had never pretended otherwise. Tye had always been up-front with him about that.
Bull riding. A chill raced through Jake, he felt it clean to his toes. To ward off the confusion in his head, he tightened his arm around Tye, feeling her snuggle down against him, the skin of her shoulder warm against his ribs.
"I like our little...ahem...conversations," Tye said in a husky murmur.
Jake bent his head, aware of the feather of her hair against his cheekbone. He speared his fingers through the silky blonde texture, cupping the base of her skull to tilt her head up.
Jake looked straight into Tye’s eyes. "You’re one hell of a lady, Tye Jenkins," he said deliberately. "I’m proud to know you."
Tye’s smile slipped just a bit. "Thanks, Jake. Too bad we couldn’t..." she let her voice trail off.
"What?"
"Nothing. There’s no use going over the past."
Jake felt his insides tighten. Was this goodbye? He’d said all along he wanted to get her out of his system, but he couldn’t forget the last week of camaraderie they’d shared. "What rule says we can’t try to live with it? I’m willing to forgive and forget."
Tye jerked back from him. "How can you say that?" She asked, her voice bordering on anger.
She pulled the sheet and wrapped it around her body, almost as if she had to shield herself against him, Jake thought.
"Forgive and forget ― you make it sound like it was all my fault! You know what happened! I was seventeen. We were both too young. Afterwards, you did a good job of cutting me out of your life."
Jake felt his own temper rise, but he knew they’d accomplish nothing by yelling at each other. "You did the walking, Tye." Jake clenched his jaw tightly. He wouldn’t soften the words. He recalled the sting of her walking away. "You told me you loved me and you walked away. Rodeo was more important."
"What else could I do? I didn’t know anything except rodeo." Tye got up quickly from the bed. "At first it was romantic to talk about getting married, then it became more real. I got scared. You were talking about babies, a mortgage. Then the whole world suddenly dumped on your shoulders. I was one more burden to the pile."
"It wouldn’t have been like that. We’d have been stronger, the two of us together."
Tye shook her head, clutching the sheet as she quickly gathered her clothing. "You didn’t have time for me, Jake. I didn’t blame you, I understood. Your father was hovering by death’s door, your mother...your little sisters needed you."
"You never gave us a chance," Jake bit out, no longer trying to contain the anger. "One week we had all these plans and then wham! You tell me it’s better if we split."
Tye looked around the room almost desperately, Jake thought. He took a deep breath, standing quickly and pulling on his shorts, then his jeans.
"Tye, we’ve got to talk about this calmly and rationally."
She looked at him over her shoulder, the slender curve of her back to him. "No, no, we can’t see each other’s point of view. Maybe we’re both too stubborn. Maybe..." she caught her breath, and Jake put out a hand to her when he heard the half-sob that escaped her. "...maybe it’s happening again, the inevitable tearing apart. We’re having an affair, that’s all. We don’t care about each other enough. It’s like it’s unfinished business between us, Jake. Unfinished business you’re intent on finishing. I’ve got to go."
She whirled from the room, still clutching the sheet and her clothes. Jake dropped into a chair, his insides as empty as the doorway. He put his head in his hands, pressing his forehead with his palms. He needed to examine what was going on here. He had an uneasy suspicion he was missing something. Had Tye changed? Did she want more than what she said? Did either one of them want to go back and start again?
Telling her he forgave her had been the worst thing he could have said. Why had he added fuel? Had he really wanted to start a fire? What the hell was going on with him?
§ Chapter Sixteen §
Tye had gotten into the habit of arriving at the Riverdale barn early in anticipation of her riding lessons at the clinic. Today, it looked like she was the first one to arrive.
She had lined up a few apartments in town, but she hadn’t had time to go look at all of them yet. She knew she couldn’t stay with Jake much longer, not after what had happened. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to stay with a man she loved, but who might still harbor resentment over a decade-old mistake. When had she changed? Suddenly, the idea of forever with Jake was something she wanted. It scared the hell out of her, too. He wanted an affair for a short while, she wanted more, but she wouldn’t go begging to Jake. She had never begged for anything in her life.
Tye looked at the barn. She had been giving lessons almost two weeks and found she really looked forward to working with the kids. They were so eager and ready to learn, but what really made it worthwhile was they weren't easily discouraged. They tried time and again and their efforts paid off. Riding gave them the mobility they lacked on the ground. The children ranged in age from five years up into their teens. Tye worked four days instead of the originally agreed-upon two. By the end of her first week she and Sam were fast becoming friends.
Tye admired Sam for her dedication to the program, despite the odds against her. Tye could see the equipment was badly in need of replacing and some of the horses were ready for retirement. Tye wondered what would happen to the children if the program was dropped. There was nothing in the area to replace it.
Sam’s car drove up to the barn. Sam exited the vehicle. "Tye!" she called. Tye saw Sam walk toward the other barn and waved her arm at her. "Come over to the tack room first, I have someone I want you to meet."
When Tye entered the barn she foun
d Sam with a tall, blond man. He had a camera slung over his shoulder. Curiously, Tye approached them. The man was casually dressed in dark jeans and a sweatshirt, while Sam wore her customary breeches and leather boots. Sam held out her hand to Tye and gave her a friendly smile. "Morning, Tye. I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Dan Anderson."
Dan lifted a brow, a somewhat speculative grin on his handsome face as he looked at Tye. He thrust his hand out to her. "Tye Jenkins, it's great to meet you. Sam told me you were helping her out. I thought she was pulling my leg."
"We're helping each other out. I’m loving this too."
"Ever since Sam told me you showed up an idea’s been in my head. I wouldn't be adverse to interviewing you. We could let your fans know what you've been up to in the last several months."
"Uh, one thing I should mention, Tye," Sam said quickly, "Dan's a reporter."
"Oh." That information made Tye a bit edgy.
"Now don't go running off," Dan said, his eyes sharp, as if he could read her thoughts of escape. "I'm really a nice guy." He placed his hand over his heart, then held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."
Tye couldn’t suppress her grin. "Since you're hooked up with Sam, who's a really nice person, I'm going to believe that."
"However," he went on smoothly, "I do think you should let me interview you, Tye. You name the time and place."
Tye immediately shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"It would be a great story...non-intrusive, I promise. We’ll let everyone know what’s going on in your life. You really dropped out of sight."
"I don't do interviews anymore," Tye said firmly, smiling to soften the words.
"Okay, but I think it would be a great human interest story." Reaching into his jean's pocket Dan pulled out a slim gray wallet and extracted a business card. He held it out to her, his face now serious. "If you change your mind, I'd be glad to talk to you. Really...call me any time." He pocketed his wallet and strung the camera back over his shoulder as he turned to Sam. "I've got to go, Sam. I'll call you tonight." He dropped a kiss on Sam's mouth then turned back to Tye. "I'll be seeing you, Tye, nice meeting you."
"Nice to meet you too, Dan."
Tye looked over at Sam as Dan walked around the back of the barn. She leaned against a stall door, crossing her feet at the ankles. "I hope he isn't offended, but I really don't want to do an interview."
"Believe me, Dan isn't easily offended, but I do think he's right," Sam added quietly. "And it's not because he's my boyfriend, either. You could do this program a world of good if you got back out in the public eye and stirred things up, let people know what's going on."
"I don't know how an interview from me can help, Sam. It's been almost five months since my last rodeo. People forget. There's always a new face out there." In truth, the idea of going before the cameras again gave Tye an edgy, uncomfortable feeling. During her rodeo years she had been interviewed countless times, but now she didn't want to entertain the thought. She felt like she had been out of the public eye too long. Why would anyone care what she was up to?
Sam snorted disbelievingly. "Come on, Tye, you can't be that naive. You've been a name in the sport far too long for people to forget you overnight." She shrugged. "It's just a thought. At least promise me you'll think about it."
"All right, I promise I'll think about it. If I decide to do an interview, Dan will be the first to know." Tye said the words, but in her mind she knew she’d never call him.
"On to other business. I talked to the program director. Tomorrow morning they're having a budget meeting on the riding program's renewal. He didn't sound real optimistic."
Tye felt a great wave of disappointment drop on her shoulders. "Great. I know you told me that from the beginning, but now that I've seen what the program does for the kids, it’s even worse of a letdown." Tye drew a deep breath. "There must be something we can do."
"Give me an idea to work with," the other woman said.
"You’ll be the first to know if I come up with something," Tye promised, her mind searching out possible avenues. "But, since it isn’t going to help if we worry about that meeting, I think we'd better check out the Palomino mare before the kids arrive. Yesterday she seemed to be limping a bit."
#
As Tye ran a brush over Arnie, one of the riding program’s horses, she kept going over in her mind the angry words she and Jake had exchanged. He said he’d forgive and forget. Those words stirred her anger and a deep anguish. Had she really done something so terrible all those years ago? At the time she had made the best decision a seventeen-year old could make. Why couldn’t Jake see that? She had never wanted to hurt him. She had thought it out so carefully. Why couldn’t he see that? She had been too young.
Tye gave the horse one last swipe with the brush, then led the mare into her stall and pulled the door closed. She had plans of her own to think about. She loved Jake, but was afraid they’d only keep hurting each other if she didn’t leave. They seemed to want different things out of their relationship. Because of their disagreement, their relationship was strained. Why couldn’t things go on as they were? Tye knew they couldn’t. Everything progressed, changed, that was the whole excitement with living. Nothing remained the same. Sadly, Tye knew Jake no longer loved her. If he had, surely he would have said something, given some indication. Then again, she hadn’t told him she loved him either. She was a coward. Plain and simple. She was too afraid of him not wanting her love. Rejecting her love as she had rejected his years ago.
Even if Jake wanted her to stay, Tye didn’t know how that would sit with her. A relationship meant permanence, staying in one place. She didn’t know how to deal with permanence.
Tye had been half-heartedly looking through the papers the last few days for an apartment. She knew she had to find something. It wasn’t fair to Jake or herself to prolong matters. Tye wondered how she’d ever thought they could go back. How could two people who cared so much keep hurting each other? Why had it turned out so wrong?
The only bright spot in Tye’s life right now was she might have come up with a way to save the riding program. She had run her ideas by Denny and Lynn, and the approval on their faces had convinced Tye her idea was worth a shot. She hadn’t told Sam yet, she had needed to do more research before spilling the beans. Tye wanted the other woman to be as excited as she was. For once in her life, she was looking outward, and it felt good. If she could pull this off...
"Time to call it a day," Sam said behind her. Tye swung around with a startled yelp.
"I didn’t know you were here! I thought you had left." Tye studied the grimness of Sam’s face. "What’s the matter?"
"I was planning on leaving but I got a call from the director. The remainder of the funding has been moved to another program." Sam put both hands behind her neck and let her head fall back. "It’s official, the riding program is finished."
Tye was hardly aware the halter and lead rope in her hand slipped to the stable floor. "No. Just like that?"
"I’m afraid so. They’ve given me two weeks to tie things up, but we’re officially done."
Tye walked in a tight circle, frowning, then looked back at Sam. "I talked to some friends and I may have an idea to save the program. It’s just happened so fast, we need a little time to pull it together."
"I would love to halt this, but it’s not a matter of holding things up. Shoot ―" Sam’s voice sounded tired, "I’ve waived my pay for a month to keep it going for the kids. They’re shutting us down."
"Those are details we can work out," Tye exclaimed, refusing to be daunted.
Sam shrugged resignedly. "I warned you up front what could happen. Now it has," she finished flatly.
Tye stared at Sam. "I’m not giving up, and you can’t either. I need your help Sam. You’ve got the training, you keep this program together. What if I can get the money, secure backers, would you want to continue the program?"
Sam began to smile and the tiredness lifted
from her face. "Are you kidding? Of course I would."
Tye’s thoughts ran in ten different directions. "I’m not going to let this get away. I think I have a solution but it’ll take some work to pull it together. I want to raise money by having a rodeo."
"Tye!" Sam exclaimed excitedly, "that’s a perfect solution. You know people, your name alone will draw crowds. You could probably get some of your famous rodeo friends to come."
Tye started laughing. Sam’s enthusiasm was infectious. "Hang on, we have to put it all together first."
"We can get Dan in on this. He’s got a lot of contacts. Right now he’s doing some reporting for a local television station. Maybe he can put together some preliminary interviews to get the word out." Sam clasped her hands together. "Tye, I have a good feeling about this. I really think we can do it."
"Let’s just hope you’re right about my name being a draw," Tye cautioned her. She didn’t want to build false hope, but Tye felt her own excitement escalating. Could she do this? Could she pull it off?
#
From his vantage point on the back deck Jake saw Tye’s vehicle arrive back at the house. She was doing so well. She had adjusted to her prosthesis and walked with a hardly discernible limp. Jake's chest expanded in a deep breath. She seemed happy and content. Tye was a strong woman whom circumstances could not keep down. He knew she saw her father on a regular basis and he thought that was her way of dealing with his terminal illness. He’d had some time to do some soul searching, but he hadn’t come up with any easy conclusions.
Jake knew they couldn’t go on like this, saying polite hellos. He stared out across the flat expanse of his land, wondering if Tye would ever settle someplace permanently. Since he had known her, she had always been a mover and a shaker, constantly in motion.
Restlessly, Jake hopped off the deck rail and strode across the deck. No matter the outcome, he had to break the stalemate between he and Tye.
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 19