Tye stuffed her hands in her front jean pockets.
"Your father is a good man, but he has his weaknesses. There were women, I won't deny it. I ran him off and he went back to rodeoing full time."
"If he loved you ― Ben and me, he would have stayed."
"Tye, don't ever think your Daddy didn't love us. He had a big heart." Her mother sighed with memory, but it wasn't a sad sound. "I made my own share of mistakes. It’s not good when you let anger speak for you."
Tye clenched her fists. "Sometimes I hate him ―"
"No, you don't, Tye," Mama said softly, laying a hand on her arm. "You love your Daddy, and that's the way it should be. We all have to make peace with the past. I've watched you rush down some frightening roads and I've ached for you. I'd hoped you'd pick up a normal life, a life you could be happy with."
"One that doesn't include rodeo."
"There's nothing wrong with rodeo but you need something more."
"In the hospital after the amputation ― I'll never forgive myself for what I said to you," she whispered. Tye stepped in close to her mama and put her arms around her again.
"Even the strongest know fear, Tye, and that was a most fearful time. You're my daughter, I'll always love you, no matter what." Her mama hugged her back and Tye closed her eyes, realizing how good it felt to wind her arms about mama's slim frame. She felt as if she'd missed this, all these months. It was her own fault for staying away, her own self-imposed punishment.
Mama stepped back and laughed, the sound a bit shaky. "Well, now, are you going to ride this bull or should I have tell these boys to turn him loose?"
She let her gaze meet her mama's. "I'm going to ride him, and then I'm going to get on with my life. Maybe I’ve finally got my priorities straight." Tye drew a deep breath, then gave her mother a smile as big as the outdoors. "I'm going to find Jake ― see if he'll take me back."
Her mama nodded and stepped back. If she was afraid she hid it well. "Give him hell, Tye," she said softly.
Tye climbed up onto the gate holding the bull. She climbed using her good leg. She swung her prosthesis over the top bar, then her other leg. She stood looking down at the bull, her hands gripping the rail tightly.
Tye felt as if she were moving in slow motion. She could feel the beat of her heart, hard and heavy in her chest, hear the breath as it left her lungs. It felt like so many times before, the thoughts wild and crazy in her head. This time, though, her hands were clammy, or had they always been clammy before a ride?
She pulled on her gloves, awkwardly climbed down on the bull, felt him shift under her, move uneasily. Quickly, she put rosin on her glove, wound the rope and gave the signal to open the gate. Someone responded, because the gate swung out and her breath left her dry mouth. The bull leapt forward, the motion jerking and yet familiar.
Tye rode him, spurred him, and they twisted and turned. She heard the distant shouting of the cowboys who had appeared from nowhere, then the clamor of an old steel bell. The sound didn’t make sense, until she realized the ride was over.
Tye threw her leg over the bull’s side and let go of the rope. She jumped to the ground and landed on her feet. Both feet. She stood still and breathed, all in one piece, her chest heaving, heart easing down past her throat now that it was over. She had done it. The bull kicked up his heels and was herded out another gate.
Time righted itself as Tye stood in the dirt on two legs. She felt dazed, relieved, scared and satisfied. She pivoted on her heel. Only then did Tye see Jake standing there beside her Mama and Daddy.
Jake looked like hell. He looked like he had been rode hard and put away wet...and he looked wonderful to Tye. In his hands he clutched a spray of white carnations. The flowers looked as worn as Jake, the stems bent and limp.
"You did it, Tye, girl," Daddy said, nodding his head solemnly. "I’m proud of you. You’ve got guts."
Tye heard her Daddy’s comments, but she kept her eyes on Jake, hardly aware of the others moving away.
"I did it," Tye said softly, walking towards Jake, her eyes only on him. "I did it, Jake."
Stunned, Tye watched Jake turn on his heel and walk away.
"Jake!" She called, "Jake!" He kept walking. The flowers he had carried lay in the dirt where he’d dropped them. Panic gripped Tye. Had Jake finally given up on her? No, Jake, no, but the words didn’t come.
#
Tye floored the gas pedal. She’d probably get a ticket. She ducked her head as her vehicle hit a pothole. Quickly, she yanked her seatbelt out and hooked it. Why had Jake left like that without a word? Tye tried to still the real fear burgeoning in her chest. Maybe she had blown it so bad this time she’d never get Jake back. He had to know he loved her! He had to. How could she live if they parted again? The last few weeks had been terrible hell. Surely he knew they needed each other? She had never stopped loving him. Tye bit her lips and drove too fast around a corner. She pulled the wheel around quickly, almost losing control.
"Calm down. You’ll kill yourself before you can tell him you love him." What if he didn’t love her? What then? Tye tossed her head and peered through the dusty windshield. She’d tell him anyway that she loved him. If he trampled her pride, so be it. But she bit her lips and prayed it wasn’t too late.
Tye pulled into the driveway of Jake’s ranch. She roared up the drive, a cloud of dust billowing out behind her. She jerked the vehicle to a halt and jumped out, not even bothering to close her door. She didn’t see Jake’s truck. Tye ran around the house, ignoring the dart of pain in her right leg.
"Jake?"
The house remained quiet and still. Tye heard her rasping breath in the softly falling dusk. Where was Jake?
She ran down the hall to his office and found it empty. Tye turned and walked back to the living room. She exited the house by the kitchen door and stood indecisively. Where was he?
"Why aren’t you out celebrating?" His voice came from the around the house. Tye yelped, startled, as Jake walked toward her, his thumbs hooked in his belt loops. She took an eager step toward him, relief making her want to grab him and kiss him.
"Jake, you’re here! I didn’t see your truck and I couldn’t imagine where you were. I left right after you did. Why did you leave like that? I really need to talk to you. I’ve been so selfish, so caught up in my own wants I’ve ―"
Jake stood there not saying a word, one brow raised, a bored look on his face.
Tye swallowed hard. "Jake?" If her voice sounded thin and scared, that’s the way she felt. "I-I did it, Jake. I beat my fear."
#
Jake wondered why she’d come to rub it in. He was already hurting like hell, he didn’t want to see her again. It had been a stupid move on his part to go to the rodeo anyway.
"You did it," Jake repeated, his voice hoarse. Desperately, he cleared his throat. He still hadn’t recovered after arriving in time to see Tye on the back of that two thousand pound stomping, twisting animal. It had brought back memories of the night she got hurt, and it had sunk him into a misery so deep he couldn’t act normally.
Jake made an effort to pull himself together.
"Tye, I came to the rodeo today to say if you want to move out of my place, I’ll help you. If you go back to rodeoing, I’ll support your decision. Damn it, Tye, if you just wanted to live together, then we’ll damned well do that, too, and forget about any of the rest of it." Jake closed his eyes a moment, feeling the cost to himself, knowing what he had to say next.
He opened them to find Tye close to him. "I came prepared to agree to almost any terms to keep you. I love you so much it hurts."
A look of wonder filled Tye’s eyes, but Jake shook his head and touched her cheek briefly. Anger and despair ate at him, burning into his gut.
"But I can’t, Tye. I turned coward, if that’s what you want to call it, when I saw you on that bull. I can’t watch you riding bulls. Those six seconds just about tore my insides out." Jake had thought he was going to embarrass himself and puke in t
he dirt. Lanny Jenkins had come to stand beside him and luckily, he hadn't, but it had been real close.
"It’s over," he said harshly. "I’m not going to try and hold you down. I love you, Tye, but I don’t want you." Emotion, hot and tight, gripped his throat.
"I love you, Tye," he muttered, pushing back the bile that wanted to rise. He had said it, now she would leave.
The exhilaration on her face almost undid him. She looked so alive, so ready to take on life's challenges. How could he bear to let her go? But he wasn’t letting her go. He was pushing her away. It was a matter of survival, for both of them.
The leaving would be worse than ten years ago. They’d been kids back then, and he’d loved her, but now there was a different depth to his passion. A deep caring and need to keep her with him, see her through life’s hardships, at any cost; except this one. He would slowly die, Jake knew it for sure.
"I love you, Jake." Her arms wound around him and Jake stood stiffly, trying to take in what she had said. He didn’t feel as if he could respond properly. She squeezed him. "Do you hear me? I love you. You're the first to know I just rode my last bull. I’m begging you, Jake, to give me another chance. Take me back. Please."
Jake jerked Tye away from his chest and stared at her. "What?" he demanded. Elation gripped him, but he didn’t trust it. He pulled her back to him before she could answer. "Don’t say anything else."
Tye’s voice came to him muffled, but the words were sweet. "I've loved you for what seems like forever but it was scary, a totally new phase of my life. Until today I never realized how much bull riding weighed on me. Even knowing that, I had to ride one last time. Now I feel like I've closed that part of my life. I want to move on."
Tye looked at him uncertainly. "That is, if you still want me. Do you want me Jake? Can we make this work?"
Jake felt as if a light had begun to shine once more. "If I still want you? God, of course I do. I thought I could handle it if you went back to bull riding, but all I could remember was the night of the accident. I’ll never forget what you went through."
"I remembered it, too," she admitted. "The bull riding is over, though I’ll still rodeo part time. I’ve been offered an opportunity to write articles promoting women in rodeo." She stepped back from him and Jake looked around. Dark had fallen, they stood alone in the night air, a warm breeze caressing them, the sound of it in the trees.
"I'm sorry about what happened that night I left. I seem to act selfishly a lot." Tye looked down at her feet and rocked on her heels. Jake couldn’t see her face, it was hidden by a curtain of hair. "I was so scared."
When she looked up at him Jake was jolted by the tears running a steady stream down her cheeks, the wetness making tracks through the dust clinging to her creamy skin. Feeling a sense of wonder, Jake touched a fingertip to the tears. Her vulnerability was there for him to see. "I used my father's mistakes, and my own to try and deny what was between us. I was running again. The time you spent collecting those clippings spoke of the time you invested in me through the years."
"I can understand fears, Tye. I had to confront my own. I’ve been lying to myself. I never stopped loving you. When you left I was angry but I know in my heart it was too soon for us. I guess it was easier to blame you, but I couldn’t stop caring. That’s why I let you come and stay at my place, even though I thought I was looking for some kind of closure. Ten years ago I should have come after you. Maybe that’s why I was so entrenched in anger. I felt guilt over letting you go so easily."
"We both had growing up to do."
Tye linked her hand with his. Jake could see the hope on Tye’s face. It was the same emotion squeezing his heart.
"I want you, Tye, but I won’t settle for anything less than marriage."
Tye’s smile was blinding, her eyes sparkling. She threw her arms around his neck. "Oh Jake, I’ll marry you. I will. I will. I need you in my life. You enhance everything about me that is good."
Jake dipped his head, tasted the sweetness that was Tye. Tough and tender Tye. His Tye.
Tye gave a gurgle of laughter. She put her arms out and stretched them upward to the sky. She twirled away, and then back. "I feel so full of renewed energy, I could dance all night." One moment she was smiling at him, the next, without warning, her leg gave out. Tye slid to the ground as easily as you please.
"Tye." Jake reached his hand out to her.
#
Tye looked at his hand, the wide palm, then let her eyes travel up to his face. From her perch on the ground, in the dirt, she started laughing.
"I was warned this could happen from time to time. Are you prepared to pick me up when my leg kicks out, Miller?" Tye asked him sassily, confident of his answer.
"Every time," Jake assured her solemnly, his fingers already closed on hers.
Jake pulled her up against him. She let her head rest against his chest for a moment, then she stepped back and dusted off her jeans. With both hands she reached up and gripped Jake’s shoulders, cocked her head sideways, then planted a slow kiss on his mouth. Leaning back, arms still encircling his neck, she gave Jake a cocky smile.
"I’m going to count on you, Cowboy, as long as you know you can count on me."
§ Epilogue §
Tye gently traced a fingertip along the feathered wing of an eagle, a recent addition to Jake’s carvings. The guests had finally left the gallery, the lights were dimmed and it was time to go home with her husband.
Tye threw back her hair, excitement making her heart beat rapidly. She would burst if she didn’t share her news with Jake. She didn’t know how she had managed to keep the secret for an entire day. And what a day! Full of preparations for Jake’s showing, and the crowning success had been the show’s centerpiece. Tye stared at the carving Jake had surprised her with. A head and shoulders likeness of herself in beautiful honey-hued wood. She was forever captured, reaching one hand upward, fingertips touching the stars. Jake had depicted her life; reaching for stars that seemed out of reach and coming full circle to completion.
When she heard approaching footsteps, she placed the long neck bottle she held in her hands on the table behind her. Quickly, she faced Jake.
"Everything is locked up," he said.
When he caught sight of her his mouth curved in a smile she knew well. A warm, sensual smile that promised great delights later. Tye felt as if his arms had just wrapped around her.
Jake was devastating in black, right down to the boots on his feet. The only splash of color was his turquoise neck tie. He reached out an arm and pulled her close. The fire in Tye leapt in anticipation. "Why do you suppose it’s taken me all day to get you this close to me?"
Jake ran his gaze over her, then gave her a rueful smile. "Tye, do you have any idea what that tight-fitting little dress and those spike heels have been doing to me all night? Do you know what I’ve been thinking while this place was packed with people?"
"I can guess." Provocatively, she pressed close and laced her fingers behind his neck. No need to tell him she had picked the dress deliberately for that effect. "Why do you think I learned how to walk on these darned heels? It’s all for your benefit."
"We have the place to ourselves..." he said suggestively, one brow arched."There’s a workroom down the hall."
Tye laughed, unable to contain the excitement a moment longer. Reaching behind her she pulled out the bottle of sparkling cider with a flourish. "First things first. This occasion calls for a little something special to celebrate." Tye uncorked the bottle with a soft pop. Grabbing the paper cups she had found, she poured a liberal amount of the clear, bubbling liquid into each cup.
"Here is yours." She handed him a cup.
Tye swirled the liquid in her cup, then lifted her gaze to her husband. She gave him a deliberately wicked smile. Lazily, she let her fingertips trail down his neck and along his shoulder. Tye placed her palm flat against his chest, feeling the flex of muscle beneath, all too aware of the darkening interest in his eyes.
Jake choked and put the cup down. He cleared his throat. "You’re ―" His voice rasped and didn’t cooperate.
Tye patted him on the back, laughing, crying, surprised by the wetness on her cheeks.
Jake’s arms wrapped around her fiercely. "Tye," he finally managed. "Sweetheart."
"I’m pregnant, Jake." Tye knew the smile on her face was huge. She leaned back so she could see his face. She didn’t want to miss one moment of his reaction.
"Pregnant."
Tye swallowed with difficulty, seeing and feeling Jake’s wonder, the joy. It radiated from him.
"I’m so happy, Jake. I can’t imagine my life, our life, being anything other than what it is, and now, we have so much more to look forward to."
"So that’s why you cut back this year’s rodeo schedule," he murmured, feathering kisses up the side of her neck. "And you brought in more help for the riding program."
Tye closed her eyes, hardly able to think with Jake’s lips on her skin. "Yes. It’s been a hectic time, but I found a few people. . . to fill in. . . Mmm, I feel the need to lie down. There’s been too much excitement today." Tye suddenly opened her eyes wide. "That’s not to say I can’t stand a bit more," she amended.
Jake’s growl was muffled in her shoulder as he swung her off her feet. Tye squealed and quickly wound her arms around his neck.
They almost made it to the work room.
THE END
Women of Character Series
Excerpt Once and Always
Memory could be gentle. At other times it left scars.
Anna Barlow had read those words this morning and somehow they felt like a reflection of her life. She stared out over her ranch’s fields now, trying to shake off the cobwebs of old memories.
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 22