A Kiss, a Dance & a Diamond

by Helen Lacey

  “I did no such thing,” she said hotly. “I don’t understand how that could—”

  “Of course,” he said quickly and ran a weary hand through his hair. “The boys.”

  She stared at him. “Huh?”

  “You said you lost your cell phone. They must have taken it and sent the messages.”

  “They stole my phone?” She was horrified. “And sent you messages to buy me flowers and chocolate?”

  “Looks like it.”

  He was smiling, but Nicola saw nothing funny about the situation. “It didn’t occur to you that I would never do that?”

  He shrugged. “I thought you were...you know...flirting.”

  “Why would I do that?” she demanded, turning hot all over.

  “Because you want me,” he replied casually. “Why else?”

  Heat scorched her cheeks. “I don’t want you. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Positive,” she replied. “And I noticed that you didn’t take the check I left to cover the costs for the pond. And don’t think, simply because you’re here, that I—”

  She didn’t get to say anything more because suddenly she was in his arms and he was kissing her. No finesse, no soft seduction. Just a hard, passionate kiss that should have infuriated her—but instead it curled her toes and unleashed a fire in her belly that could have sent them both up in flames.

  And then he released her just as quickly, color slashing his cheeks, his breathing ragged. “Sometimes you talk way too much.”

  Nicola glared at him. “I officially hate you. And stop sending me flowers and candy. And don’t kiss me again... I don’t like it.”

  “Liar,” he shot back. “I think you’re really turned on right now.”

  Nicola stormed across the room, then headed down the hallway and opened the front door. She knew he would follow, and she made a dramatic gesture, ushering him outside.

  “Thank you for watching the boys. Good night.”

  He lingered in the doorway. “God, you’re beautiful when you’re angry.”

  “Go to hell.”

  He laughed softly. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Well, I haven’t missed you,” she shot back, lying through her teeth. Because she had missed him like crazy.

  “I could stay for a while. We could talk,” he said and shrugged. “Or make out.” His voice flowed through her like fine whiskey.

  His audacity was astounding. “I’m not in the market for another one-night stand. I’m looking for real commitment,” she reminded him. “And that’s not something you can give me, is it?”

  “Who knows what the future holds?”

  “I do,” she shot back. “I know my future. I know that you’re not in it. I know that on Sunday I have a date for the rodeo with a very nice man who’s not afraid of commitment.”

  His expression narrowed. “A date? I don’t believe you.”

  “Believe it.”

  “I was hoping we could go together. I’m part of the medical staff for the event, but my shift is only for two hours in the afternoon. I know the boys want to watch the fireworks, and I thought we could spend some—”

  “I broke up with you, Kieran. And I have a date,” she said again. “Now, good night.”

  He left, and she closed the door before he was down the porch steps. Then she leaned against the door and burst into tears. God, how long had it been since she’d really cried? Forever. Not since Gino and Miranda’s funeral. And she needed it. She needed the emotional release it gave her. She needed to embrace the grief and sorrow that came with it.

  And she was still blinking away tears twenty minutes later after she’d closed up downstairs, and then she took a shower and dressed in her pajamas and went to check on the boys. She was just about to turn off Johnny’s night-light when he rolled over and spoke.

  “Has Kieran gone home?”

  “Yes,” she replied and tucked his duvet around his bony shoulders.

  “Marco and I really like him.”

  “I know you do,” she said and touched his hair. “Is that why you took my cell phone?”

  He looked instantly guilty and then nodded. “We were trying to help.”

  She knew exactly what they were trying to do. “It’s wrong to steal things.”

  “I know,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

  Nicola sighed. “You also know my password?”

  He shrugged a fraction. “I saw you put it in once. I just remembered.” He dug between his mattress and bed frame and withdrew her phone. “I think the battery ran out,” he said and passed it to her.

  She looked at the phone, then knelt next to the bed and said gently, “Don’t do anything like this again, okay?”

  “I won’t,” he said, his voice wobbling. “I promise.”

  Nicola ruffled his hair. “Good night, kiddo. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  She said good-night, headed to the next room to check on Marco and found him fast asleep, and then walked into her bedroom. It wasn’t Gino and Miranda’s old room. It was a smaller guest room at the end of the hallway. She couldn’t quite bring herself to occupy the master suite. In fact, as much as the house was lovely and well designed, it had never felt like a home to her. She stayed for the boys but knew she’d never feel as though it was her own. Maybe she should put the house on the market, start fresh somewhere. The very idea made her feel more alone than she’d believed possible. She walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth, caught a glimpse of her unruly hair, red-rimmed eyes and blotched complexion and grimaced.

  How did I get here?

  And suddenly, every yearning, every longing, every dream she’d ever had came rushing forward and fresh tears burned her eyes. Marriage, children, a career...things she’d once believed she would have, expectations she’d taken for granted. Now, those dreams seemed so far away...unreachable as the stars surrounding a distant planet. And she was sad...for herself, for Marco and Johnny, for the babies she feared she’d never have. Because she did want kids. She wanted a large family, she wanted Sunday dinners and picnics by the river. And she longed for someone to love her, a man whose arms were strong and whose heart was big enough for her, the boys and any children they had together.

  A fool’s dream, maybe. But she couldn’t let it go. She saw her children vividly...with dark hair and glittering blue eyes. The image was overwhelmingly acute and made her ache deep in her womb. It was the same image she’d had since she was young. Because, in her heart, in the secret place where she allowed only dreams to linger, she’d always believed that she would have Kieran’s child. Even when she was with Carl, creating a life together, planning a wedding and a future, the old dreams would occasionally resurface, reminding her that she’d already had her one great love.

  And, for a moment, she’d gotten him back.

  That was what hurt—the knowledge that they’d been so close to recapturing something special. Of course, the outcome was all her own fault. She’d known going in, when she’d spouted words about purging him from her thoughts, getting him out of her system, using sex to sate her old resentment—in her heart, she’d known it was a lie. A falsehood of epic proportions. The biggest of her life.

  But on Sunday, when Alex arrived to collect her and the boys in his state-of-the-art minivan that might have impressed her had she not felt so desperately unhappy, Nicola knew she had to snap out of her funk and try and have a good time.

  Because Alex was nice. Tall, fair-haired and handsome in a clean-cut, accountant kind of way, he was exactly what she’d expected. He had a good sense of humor, two well-behaved young sons, a good job, and he appeared genuinely keen to get to know her. Although a little younger, his sons went to school with Marco and Johnny and once they were all seated in the minivan, they headed off.<
br />
  They arrived at the show grounds a little after four and had to walk a few hundred yards from the designated parking area. The bronc-riding events had already started, and they watched for a while, before the boys pleaded to check out the variety of stalls on the midway. As they walked behind the kids, Alex chatted about his job as a surveyor and asked her about the restaurant and her family, and it was all very nice. They sat at one of the picnic tables and watched as the band set up on the stage, eating hot dogs and sipping sodas.

  Yep...as far as first dates went, it was a good one.

  Except for Johnny and Marco. They were clearly not happy with the arrangement. They weren’t impolite because they knew she wouldn’t have stood for it, but they didn’t waste any time letting her know in private that they didn’t want to hang around with Alex’s kids or Alex.

  Things got worse when his younger son Tim raced off and tumbled into an elderly couple carrying donuts and hot coffee. The child was scalded down one arm and, despite Nicola’s attempt to run cool water over the burn, the boy was clearly upset, and Alex suggested they head to the medical tent set up near the bleachers.

  And, of course, since the afternoon seemed to be going from bad to worse, the first person she spotted when they entered the tent, stethoscope around his gorgeous neck, broad shoulders superbly filling out his white coat, was Kieran.

  Chapter Eleven

  His gaze zoomed in on her the moment they stepped in front of the small reception table and then to Alex as he explained to the nurse what had happened to his son. Marco and Johnny couldn’t have been happier, and they quickly skipped past reception and headed for him. But he was at reception in seconds, regarding them suspiciously.

  “Is there a problem here?”

  The nurse explained about the burn and, within a few minutes, the wound had been examined and treated, and Tim had a gauze dressing around his arm. While Alex gave a few personal details to the nurse and the boys picked out grape lollipops from the jar on another table, Kieran cornered her by the door.

  “You’re actually on a date?”

  She shrugged. “I told you as much.”

  He flicked his gaze toward Alex and scowled. “Who’s the stiff?”

  True, Alex was wearing a shirt and tie and did seem a little out of place among the cowboys and horses and locals dressed in denim and plaid, but he was still a nice man. And Kieran had no right to question her about anything or anyone.

  “I think that’s self-explanatory.”

  “Where did you find him?”

  She scowled. “He’s a friend.”

  “A friend like I used to be, or a friend like I am now?” he queried, his voice little more than a ragged whisper.

  The implication wasn’t missed. “None of your business.”

  His gaze narrowed. “You really like this guy?”

  “Sure.”

  “And he likes you?”

  “Of course,” she said irritably. “Why else would we be on a date?”

  “To torture me maybe?”

  Nicola stared at him. “Not everything is about you.”

  He shrugged. “Do the boys like him?”

  “Why wouldn’t they?” she shot back. “He’s a nice man.”

  “He’s not the right man for you,” Kieran said quietly.

  Nicola’s glare turned upward. “And why not?”

  He reached out and touched her hair. “You know why.”

  She got lost in his gaze, suddenly held captive by his glittering blue eyes. His fingers stroked her cheek and as she pulled away Nicola looked across the tent and met Alex’s curious stare. He smiled, nodded, and then gathered up his kids.

  She left Kieran and met Alex on her way out of the tent. He spoke first.

  “I’m going to take the kids home,” he said and placed his hands on his youngest son’s shoulders.

  Nicola didn’t argue. “Okay. Thanks for...the ride in the minivan.”

  He laughed. “Will you be able to get a ride home?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Thanks again. Take care.”

  She said goodbye with the vague promise to see him again. However, she didn’t stay in the medical tent but collected the boys, ignored Kieran completely and headed outside, finding a spot on the bleachers where they could watch the bronc riding. She sat there for an hour, fielded a few texts from both Connie and Annie asking where she was and hid among the crowd like a coward. And she seethed. Because he had no right to question anything she did. One magical night together didn’t mean he had a claim on her. If he wanted one, he had to give her what she wanted. And she knew he wasn’t ready for that.

  But he found her soon enough and squeezed in between her and the boys, who were happy to give him whatever he wanted, it seemed. He’d ditched the white coat and looked sexy as sin in jeans, checked shirt and jacket. He offered her the coffee he carried and she refused, staring straight ahead, watching some cowboy get flung off a frenzied colt and then get to his feet without a scratch.

  The crowd cheered loudly, and Nicola jumped. “I wish you’d leave me alone.”

  He grinned. “No, you don’t. And now that your date has bailed you don’t have any excuse for us to not to hang out together,” he said and grabbed her hand. “So, have you had enough of this bronc-riding thing? I told Liam I’d meet him and Kayla by the Ferris wheel in five minutes.”

  “You want to ride the Ferris wheel?”

  “Sure,” he said easily and tapped the boys on the shoulder and said they were heading for the rides. They had moved on from the bleachers and were walking toward the midway when he spoke again. “The last time we rode the Ferris wheel together, I got to second base.”

  “First base,” she corrected and called the boys back from running too far off.

  He laughed. “I’m sure it was second base.”

  “First,” she said again. “And it was a long time ago.”

  He nodded. “You look nice, by the way.”

  She glanced down at her jeans, bright red shirt, sparkly vest and high-heeled cowboy boots. “Thanks.”

  “I think I must have a thing for you in boots. But I like the other ones. You know. The black ones.”

  “Weirdo.”

  He laughed again, and the sound rumbled in his chest, making her heart skip a beat. “You know exactly what you do to me when you wear those boots.”

  “I’m not exactly the temptress type,” she reminded him. “But I’m glad you like them.”

  “So, friends again?”

  She shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”

  When they reached the Ferris wheel, Gwen was there, hands on the stroller that held her grandson, Liam and Kayla looking on with pride. Strangely, Marco and Johnny declined the offer to ride on the wheel, instead assuring Nicola they’d prefer to remain with Gwen. And Gwen looked delighted by the prospect. Liam made some faintly crude remark that was meant for adult ears only, and Nicola knew she and Kieran were being observed as though they were under a microscope. She almost suspected that Kieran had put the boys up to staying behind but, before she could protest, they were both settled on the ride and it was moving upward. It was dark now and, as the Ferris wheel lifted them, the people on the ground became smaller. She waved to the boys for a while, until they lost interest.

  “Everything looks insignificant from up here,” she remarked and stiffened when his arm came around to rest on her shoulders.

  “Relax, will you? I’m not going to pounce.”

  “Your family thinks we’re back together,” she said bluntly.

  “I know they do.”

  The seat wobbled and his hand tightened on her shoulder. She wanted to brush his touch away. She wanted to stop imagining they were back where they used to be. Because that hadn’t ended so great.

  “Are you going to tell them that we’re not?”

/>   “Honestly, I don’t know what to tell them.”

  She shrugged. “It’s not like I want people talking about us anyhow. I hate gossip. You know, you broke my heart on graduation day, and everyone knew it,” she said quietly, almost to the wind.

  He nodded. “I have to live with it.”

  “You devalued everything we were that day,” she said, her pain suddenly palpable. “I hated you for a long time.”

  “I deserved it. All that hate and anger, every bit. But time changes things, Nicola.”

  “Nothing’s changed, Kieran,” she said and shuddered in the breeze. “We’re right back where we were. And I don’t know if I’d have the strength to recover again.”

  “What if you don’t have to recover?” he said. “What if this is exactly how it’s meant to turn out?”

  “Then I suffered for nothing,” she said and shook her head. “Because I’m back here in the same place anyhow.”

  “Which is where?”

  Loving you. Nicola’s chest tightened, and she felt the words burn on the edge of her tongue. “Wanting you.”

  He reached out and cradled her jaw, rubbing his thumb across her bottom lip. “Is that all it is?”

  Nicola rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. “No.”

  “Then that’s gotta feel better than hating me.”

  “Sometimes it’s the same thing.”

  “And if we’re both feeling it?”

  “But we’re not,” she said and pulled away. “We want different things.”

  “What if we don’t, Nic? Let’s just date for a while and see if we can make it work.”

  “That’s the problem,” she said, dying inside. “You need a backup plan. An escape clause. And I don’t want that, Kieran. I want stability. I want—I need—everything. Not the easy part, like dating and making out and flowers and making up after a fight. I have two kids to think about now, and they also need stability. They need a home. So, I need commitment. Assurances.”

  “There are no assurances,” he said flatly. “You should know that better than anyone.”

  “Because I’ve been dumped twice?” She tensed as the car swung, realizing they were almost down at the bottom again. “You’re right, I do know. But the next time, I want to get it right.”