A Kiss, a Dance & a Diamond

by Helen Lacey

  “Wanna tell them that?” he challenged, his gaze darting upward for a moment.

  Her denial was smothered by the soft touch of his lips, and the crowd cheered again. Nicola swayed, felt his hand tighten, and she sighed against his mouth. His kiss reminded her of everything they had once been to one another, of everything they’d rekindled in the past couple of weeks and then of everything she knew they had lost. Because they had no future. The kiss was just for show. His proposal was a joke.

  Suddenly, Liam was by the tree trunk helping them down, and the boys were racing toward her. Marco began jumping around them excitedly, and Johnny gave a thumbs-up sign. Nicola pulled herself away from Kieran’s embrace and hugged both boys.

  “Don’t ever do something like that again. You scared me!”

  “We’ve climbed that tree a hundred times,” Marco announced. “Nonno brings us to the park all the time.”

  She made a mental note to talk to her father about his activities with the boys.

  “I think we should go home now,” she said, grateful that some of the crowd had begun to dissipate. “There’s been enough excitement for one evening.”

  “But we haven’t seen the fireworks yet,” Marco wailed and then pouted. “You promised.”

  “And people should always keep their promises,” Johnny added. “Right?”

  “Of course,” she said. “The rodeo event will be finished soon, so we can go back to the bleachers and find a good spot to sit.”

  “We’d rather stay here,” Marco said and rushed over to clutch Gwen’s hand. “I wanna stay with my new grandma.”

  Nicola moaned inwardly. Things had gone from bad to worse. She was about to explain that Gwen wasn’t actually going to be their grandmother, when the older woman spoke.

  “I think that’s a great idea. Let’s go and find a place to sit so we can talk about how great grandmas are and how little boys shouldn’t climb trees without permission.”

  “See,” Kieran said as Gwen walked back to the picnic table with both children. “All fixed.”

  “I really hate you right now.”

  His mouth curved at the edges. “Is that any way to talk to your fiancé?”

  She laughed humorlessly, aware that they were now alone, standing by the tree. “I’m not going to marry you.”

  “‘People should always keep their promises,’” he said, reminding her of Johnny’s words. “Right?”

  Nicola glared at him. “You know I only agreed to get them to come down. Stop being ridiculous. You don’t want to marry me any more than I want to marry you.”

  “I don’t?”

  She waved a dismissive hand, torn between hating him and loving him, because he was talking about marriage like it was a casual thing, and to Nicola it was precious and something she had dreamed about. “They’ll have forgotten all about it by the time they get home.”

  “Don’t be so sure,” he said, his blistering gaze unwavering. “They’re terrified you’re going to leave them.”

  She gasped. “I would never do that.”

  “I know that...but that’s a child’s logic. It’s why Marco is so emotional, why Johnny acts like the tough guy. Those are their coping mechanisms for what they believe is inevitable. Being left. Being alone.”

  Heat filled her chest, and she glanced toward the boys. “But I’ll never leave them. They’re my nephews. My family. They’re my children now. How could they possibly think I’d leave them?”

  “Because when people are hurt, when they experience grief and loss that seems unimaginable, they get scared. And afraid. Afraid to...believe. Afraid to hope that something great is actually possible.”

  An odd expression came into his eyes, and for a moment, the tiniest of seconds, Nicola wondered if he was talking about the boys or himself. But the look was gone in a flash. And they were back to their usual stance...their usual wall of resistance.

  “I should take them home and talk to them, reassure them,” she said, almost to herself.

  “It’s not words they want, Nicola. It’s actions.”

  She stiffened. “You mean, like pretending that we’re getting married.”

  “I’m not pretending.”

  She made a disbelieving sound. “Are you saying you actually want to marry me?”

  “Of course.”

  Of course. Just like that. He was about as romantic as a rock. “That’s crazy. And impossible. Marrying you just because my nephews think you hung the moon is out of the question. I’ve told you before, I’m not in the market to be anyone’s rebound relationship. Particularly yours.” She inhaled a shuddering breath. “The boys are confused enough by what’s going on between us.”

  “Are we back to the rebound thing again?” he shot back irritably.

  “It’s not a ‘thing,’” she insisted. “It’s the truth. It’s how things are because of what happened to you in your marriage, and—”

  “My marriage is over,” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been over for two years. And if I’m honest, it was never much of a marriage to begin with. Something was missing, and—”

  “I really don’t want to hear the details about your marriage, Kieran,” she said.

  “You brought up the subject,” he reminded her.

  “Because I—”

  “Because it’s an easy target, I guess. Blame my lousy marriage for everything, and we don’t have to face what’s happening here, right now, between us.”

  “There’s nothing between us,” she said and grabbed her tote. “I’m going to tell the boys the truth.”

  “They’ll be hurt.”

  She tilted her chin. “They’ll get over it. They’ll get over you.” She took a breath, stronger, deeper. “Like I did.”

  She left him by the tree and walked toward the picnic table. Gwen must have sensed something was wrong and that Nicola needed space and time alone with her nephews because she gave her a gentle smile and patted her arm and then walked off to stand near Liam and Kayla, who were huddled close together and keeping a discreet distance.

  “Boys, we need to talk,” she said as she sat down and grabbed each of their hands, squeezing them gently. “I want to make something very clear to both of you. You are the most important thing in the world to me, and I’ll never leave you. We’re a family, and we’ll always be together.”

  Marco’s bottom lip did its familiar wobble. “We were a family with Mommy and Daddy, and they left us.”

  “I know,” she said gently, her insides aching. “They had an accident, and they died. And it’s okay to be sad about that. It’s okay to cry sometimes.”

  “But not all the time,” Johnny said and elbowed his brother in the ribs.

  Nicola smiled, her heart breaking. “No, not all the time. But sometimes. And we should think about them and talk about them and always remember how special they were and how much they both loved you guys. But we have to make a new family, just the three of us.”

  “What about Kieran?” Marco asked. “Isn’t he gonna be part of our family, too?”

  Johnny rolled his eyes. “They just said that to get us out of the tree—right?”

  Nicola couldn’t deny it. “I don’t think we should—”

  “But he wants to marry you,” Marco said, his face pained. “He said so.”

  “When two people like each other, they should get married,” Johnny said and shrugged. “It makes sense.”

  “And he’s building us a fishpond, and he put up the basketball hoop, and he fixed my hand when I got the fishhook in it,” Marco added. “And he’s taking us fishing soon so I won’t be afraid of the water anymore. He must like us to do all that. Is it because he didn’t have a diamond?” Marco asked and jumped up. “Because he could get one.”

  Dazed, Nicola shook her head. “A diamond? What are you talking about?”
>
  “For right here,” Marco said and shook his left hand vigorously. “So you won’t be mad at him anymore. See?” he said and peered over her head. “You just have to get one, and then she won’t be mad at you anymore.”

  Nicola turned her head and saw that Kieran was standing behind them, barely three feet away, and he’d obviously heard the entire exchange. She met his gaze, and her insides contracted. He had an odd look on his face, something unfathomable, and she could have sworn there was a smile twitching his mouth.

  “They know,” he said and smiled. “You can deny it. But the kids know the truth.”

  “What truth?”

  “Our truth,” he replied. “They can see it...even if you can’t.”

  Nicola sucked in a long breath. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “No?” he queried. “Then ask them. They’ll tell you what you’re too scared to face. Kids are surprisingly direct that way.”

  Nicola got to her feet and moved in front of him, keeping a discreet distance from her nephews, but close enough that she could still see them. “Listen up, Doctor Charm. Stop using the boys to get what you want...whatever that is. I’m not interested. Not in you or us. You had your shot fifteen years ago and you blew it.”

  As she said the words, as she felt them leave her mouth on a breath, Nicola experienced an ache deep within her chest. Because, suddenly, she was seventeen again, and her heart was breaking. And in that moment, she knew she’d never really recovered from his rejection. Knowing he’d believed she might try and trap him with a baby back then only amplified that hurt tenfold.

  He stared at her, meeting her gaze. She watched as he swallowed hard and then took a step back. “I see. So, okay.”

  And then he turned and left, walking off, his broad shoulders disappearing into the crowd.

  Heat burned her eyes, her lungs, her skin. And she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stare after his retreating figure.

  Stay and fight for me...stay and fight for us...

  But he wouldn’t. Because he was afraid to really feel anything. He could make all the insincere marriage proposals he wanted...that didn’t prove anything. He talked about dating her, about their insane chemistry but, at the end of the day, the words were empty because they didn’t contain what she needed the most. His heart. His love.

  “I see that you did exactly what you said you wouldn’t do.”

  She glanced sideways. Liam. The man had all the stealth of a jungle cat. He was beside her, and she noticed that Gwen and Kayla were now with the boys.

  “What?”

  “Mess him up,” he said bluntly.

  Nicola wrapped her arms around herself. “He’s not messed up.”

  Liam gave a shot of humorless laughter. “He’s about as messed up as it gets.”

  She shrugged. “You’re imagining things.”

  His brows rose. “I know my brother.”

  “Maybe not as well as you think.”

  His mouth curled. “I know he’s crazy about you and your nephews. I know that over the past couple of weeks he has actually returned to the land of the living. And I know that the only thing that’s changed is you. So, ease up, okay?”

  Heat burned her eyes and she blinked. “I don’t know what you think I’ve done, but you are way off the mark.”

  “Didn’t he just ask you to marry him in front of fifty or so people?”

  Her back straightened instantly. “He wasn’t serious.”

  Liam sighed. “Really? Looked pretty serious to me,” he said and shrugged. “But if you don’t love him...”

  “But I do,” she said quickly and then gasped, humiliated that she’d admitted the truth to Liam when she could barely admit it to herself. “I mean... I mean...”

  “I’m glad. You guys belong together.”

  They did...yes. “Except that he left,” she reminded him.

  “Isn’t that what you wanted?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She swallowed hard. “No.”

  He chuckled. “Well, looks like you’ve got some thinking to do.”

  Then he left her, walking back toward his wife and son.

  Nicola remained where she was, aching through to every part of her soul, watching as Marco and Johnny hung out with the O’Sullivans as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

  Five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty, until nearly forty minutes had passed, and she realized she’d hadn’t spoken a word to anyone. Weeks ago, her life had been about routine and monotony and getting through each day. And then Kieran had returned to town, and suddenly she was back feeling a whole pile of old feelings. And she also found new ones.

  Like friendship.

  And companionship.

  Bitterness turned into forgiveness. Resentment turned into understanding. She thought about the kindness he’d shown toward the boys, and her heart ached. She thought about the support he’d offered her, the wisdom, the shoulder to lean on. Things she was sure she would never have.

  I’m such an idiot...

  Because she’d set rules. She’d made their relationship about sex and nothing else, when the reality couldn’t have been further from the truth. She desired him, she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone. But it had always been more than that. It had always been love. Even when she’d hated him, her love for him hadn’t disappeared.

  She’d wanted him to fight for them and had despaired when he didn’t. But she was just as guilty of flight instead of fight.

  She’d left him after they’d made love, she’d run like a scared rabbit because she was afraid to believe it could be something more than simple attraction. Because jumping in meant risk. And risk meant vulnerability. Risk meant surrender.

  And surrender had let her down in the past.

  Nicola let out a weary sigh just as the band started playing again. Gwen said she wanted to sit closer to the stage, so they grabbed their belongings and found a table near the dance floor. The fireworks would be starting soon, and the boys promised to sit quietly and share Johnny’s gaming console until then. Liam and Kayla hit the dance floor for a slow, moody cover of a George Strait classic while Gwen watched over the baby and her nephews. Suddenly, Nicola felt so alone she could barely stand being in her own skin. There seemed to be couples everywhere, and she stood by the table, arms crossed, heart aching, wanting his arms around her so much every part of her hurt.

  And then she saw him.

  He stood on the other side of the dance floor, and the throngs of people seemed to do a kind of instant divide. He was watching her, and she couldn’t have looked away if she’d tried. He took a step the same time she did, until they were both in the center of the dance floor.

  “You came back.”

  He nodded. “We had some unfinished business.”

  “I know. But I wasn’t sure if you thought it was worth fighting for.

  “It is,” he said. “Turns out, it’s the only thing that matters. Unless you really think I’ve blown it for good.”

  She shook her head, trying not to cry. “You haven’t. I was so upset, so angry, and...I think I just said that to hurt you.”

  “It worked.”

  “I guess we’ve hurt one another a lot over the years.”

  “I have more than you,” he acknowledged. “I guess you owed me one. But I got your point, Nic.”

  “You know you make me crazy.”

  “Ditto,” he said and smiled a fraction, holding out his hand. “Would you dance with me?”

  She smiled. “No point in wasting a good George Strait song.”

  He chuckled and drew her close. “You know how I said there was something missing in my marriage?” he said and took her hand, raising it to his mouth and kissing her knuckles softly. “Do you want to know what that was?”
>
  She nodded, in a trance. “What?”

  His gaze burned into hers. “You.”

  Nicola’s heart leaped in her chest. “Me?”

  He took a long, shuddering breath, stared deep into her eyes and spoke. “You’re the love of my life, Nic. You always have been.”

  Her racing heart skipped a beat, and then another. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. And this is not a rebound thing. This isn’t about sex, although making love to you is out of this world. The truth is I love you. I can’t imagine loving anyone but you.”

  Nicola’s world spun, and she pressed closer, feeling the heat and strength that emanated from him seep deeply into her bones, and she said what was in her heart. “I love you, too.”

  * * *

  Kieran had spent two years in a kind of emotional wilderness, afraid to open himself up. Now he was feeling closer to Nicola than he ever had to anyone, ever. Her words filled his heart and soul. Her words made him feel alive and whole. They chased off every fear he harbored about intimacy and closeness.

  The song ended and another began, and he rocked her in his arms, feeling her pressed against him, happier than he ever remembered being in his life. She swayed, and his hand traveled down her back, resting on her hip. With his free hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  He grinned. “Where do you think I’ve been for the last hour?” he said and deftly flipped open the lid, exposing the antique diamond ring. “Marry me?”

  “Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said with a sigh. “But where did you get it?”

  “It was my grandmother’s,” he explained and kissed her forehead gently. “She gave it to me when we were first dating. I guess she thought I might have a use for it one day. So...is that a yes?”

  She smiled and nodded. “Yes. One hundred percent yes.”

  He slipped the ring on her finger, and it looked as though it had always belonged there. “That looks good.”

  “Are we really doing this?”

  “You bet,” he said and kissed her mouth. “Let’s go and tell the boys.”