My Name Is Not Alexa Pearce

by Kerri McLoone

  I stack the cookies one on top of the other turn to Milo and say, “Milo, pound it.” He bumps my fist with his nose. “Good boy. Take it nice,” I say as I hold out the bones. Milo takes them both in his mouth gently and quickly scurries over to eat them underneath the coffee table.

  “Okay, Milo I’m going to work,” I call out to him as I grab my bag and jacket and head toward the door. “Be a good boy today!”

  I take my phone out from my bag as I hear another text message notification. I check the screen and see I have five messages waiting from Cali. I let out a tiny snicker and think, she can wait a little longer. I smirk as I head to the stairs.

  I walk out of the building and head left toward the library, head up, smirk still firmly in place.

  ● 11 ●

  I finally give Cali some relief and read her messages as I’m waiting to cross the street.

  CAL: what?!? oh my god that is so sweet!!

  CAL: was it like a quick peck or did he linger a little bit? tell me everything

  CAL: lex come on you can’t just say that and then not tell me more!!

  CAL: lex!!!!!!

  CAL: LEX COME ON!!!

  This kid is going to give herself an aneurysm if I don’t answer her soon, I laugh to myself.

  LEX: alright alright! i was getting ready for work jeez!

  LEX: it was very sweet. it wasn’t as short as a peck but he didn’t linger too long. it’s was just right

  CAL: awww omg like goldilocks!

  LEX: haha sure

  LEX: i really like him cal. i’m just so nervous about screwing it up or ruining it. i don’t even know if he likes me too. plus we work together. i mean how awkward would that be if it didn’t work out??

  CAL: lex he SO likes you!!

  CAL: believe me

  CAL: and don’t worry about it getting screwed up because it won’t. just relax and let things happen like they’re supposed to. i’ve known moose forever, i can tell he definitely likes you too

  I feel like such a middle schooler right now. “Okay, I’m asking you, to ask him, to tell you, so you can tell me if he likes me.” Why does it feel so complicated, it’s not like I’ve never had a boyfriend before.

  I don’t need to wait to give me an answer. I know what’s holding me back. It’s because Matt is the first guy I’ve really liked since my eighteenth birthday, since my life was simpler. I’m also hiding a huge part of who I am from everybody I know. How can I start a romantic or sexual relationship with someone while carrying around this giant secret?

  I know Cali is waiting for a response, so I decide to go with the truth again. Well, part of the truth.

  LEX: uuugh i feel like i’m in middle school right now!

  CAL: don’t sweat it

  CAL: i got you.

  LEX: what does that mean??

  CAL: it means i got you

  CAL: i gotchu

  LEX: cali.

  The text bubble comes up and disappears a few times. I lose my patience after a few seconds and text Cali back right away.

  LEX: what does that mean?

  Still no response from my roommate.

  LEX: tell me what that really means or i’ll tell mickey you told milo he is a better kisser

  CAL: you wouldn’t!!

  LEX: i would

  CAL: man that’s cold

  CAL: what i meant was i’ll be very subtle and ask moose how he feels about you

  LEX: NO!! no you will not!

  CAL: the game’s afoot i say! soooo, i gotchu

  LEX: cal, i love you, but subtlety is not your forte

  CAL: hey i take offense to that!

  I’m in the middle of typing my response when my phone rings in my hand. I see Cali’s face come up on the screen.

  “Hey,” I answer.

  Cali doesn’t waste time with pleasantries, she just jumps right in. “Mickey was getting annoyed with the constant alerts, so she said to just call you.”

  “You also say each word out loud as you type,” I hear Mickey add from the background.

  “Oh yeah, you definitely do that, kid. Tell Mickey I understand.”

  “What is this, gang up on Cali time?” I have no mature response to that so I just stay quiet. “Anyway. Look, Moose definitely, definitely has the hots for you. We could see it last night, right babe? He kept looking at you when you weren’t watching.”

  I hear some sounds that must be the phone changing hands because the next voice I hear is Mickey’s.

  “It’s true, Lex. He had this small, soft smile on his face all night like he was just happy being near you or something. It was really sweet. Plus, don’t forget I saw you two holding hands walking up to the restaurant.”

  “WHAT?!” I hear Cali yell in the background.

  “That’s not what you think it was though. It was—”

  Mickey cuts me off. “Whatever it was, it was cute. You guys are a match. You fit. Just relax and let it happen naturally like I told Cali to tell you before. ‘Cause it’s gonna happen.”

  “Yeah, he obviously already likes you as you are, so don’t worry. Just if he flirts with you, now you can flirt back!” Cali’s voice is a little echoey, she must have put the call on speakerphone.

  “Flirt with him? I am SO awkward at flirting!” I can already feel my face heating up at just the thought of flirting with Matt.

  “Relax Lex, don’t focus on flirting with him,” I hear Mickey chime in. “Just continue doing whatever you’re already doing, because it’s working.”

  “My love is right. Just keep being yourself.”

  I feel a bit childish at needing to be reassured so much that the guy actually likes me.

  I’ve continued walking toward work while talking to the couple. At this point, I’m across the street from the library stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change. I can see Matt with his head down waiting near the entrance, checking his phone.

  “Oh my god, he’s outside the library! You think he’s waiting for me?” I whisper-yell into my phone as if Matt could hear me from across the street.

  Mickey and Cali respond at the same time with a long, “Awwww.”

  Mickey continues talking. “Alexa, you’ll be fine. Look, I’ll talk to him after my class tonight, feel him out, see what he’s feeling. I’ll tell you what he says.”

  “Okay,” I sigh. Her voice is so calm and soothing.

  “Hey! How come Mickey can talk to Moose about it but I can’t?” Cali’s voice on the other hand is a tad indignant.

  Mickey’s even voice answers, “Because subtlety is really not your forte, babe.”

  “I take offense to that,” Cali replies without any bite. “Alright, Lex, Mickey will talk to him tonight after class and then you’ll know for sure, okay?”

  Damn, that’s what I forgot! My bag with my workout clothes to change into.

  “Shit. Cali, I forgot my bag, are you going to stop back at the apartment before tonight?”

  “Yup,” Cali answers, popping the P at the end.

  “Can you grab it for me? It’s on the chair at the end of my bed.”

  “Oh, yeah. I gotchu.”

  “Stop saying that!” Mickey scolds the younger woman. I can hear her laughing so I know she isn’t really annoyed. I can now hear loud kissing noises as Mickey continues laughing with Cali repeating “I gotchu” over and over in between them.

  “Okay, I gotta go but thanks, guys. I’ll see you later tonight.”

  “Bye!” They both say at the same time.

  I step off the curb just after the light changes, walking with my head down. I can’t help thinking again that I want what Cali and Mickey have. They are so right for each other. They’re meant for each other.

  I also can’t help but stumble over the secret I’m hiding and how my regular life, not just my love life, could implode when it’s revealed.

  I look up and Matt has moved over and is now at the corner waiting for me. He smiles when our eyes connect.

  Are you ri
ght for me? I think while smiling back at him and holding his gaze. I keep walking right toward him. Are you my match Matt Moorely?

  ● 12 ●

  Cali

  After hanging up the phone call with Alexa, Cali continues to pepper obnoxious kisses all over Mickey’s face who is still laughing at the younger woman. Cali is kneeling next to Mickey on the couch in the living room of the older woman’s one bedroom apartment. Cali realizes she has a bit of an upper hand right now and decides to take advantage of it. She slows down her kisses, making them softer and longer, and moves her lips down to the brunette’s jaw.

  Mickey feels the change. She knows what Cali is doing, and tilts her head a little to the side to give Cali access to her neck. Cali doesn’t waste time and brings her lips down to Mickey’s pulse point, a spot she knows is a weakness for the trainer. The younger woman kisses and nips her girlfriend’s neck, then sucks the skin into her mouth a little, gently at first, then a little harder. Mickey’s breath becomes shallow, her heartbeat beginning to speed up.

  Cali releases her girlfriend’s neck and moves her mouth to Mickey’s ear lobe and gives it a little nibble. She then brings her mouth to Mickey’s and gives her a long, lingering kiss. She sits back slightly to look into Mickey’s eyes. Cali sees that the blue eyes of the woman in front of her are almost black, the pupils blown wide with the same desire Cali now feels building in herself.

  Mickey draws Cali forward by her shirt and captures the woman’s lips in a bruising kiss. Cali uses her leverage to push Mickey onto her back on the couch. The younger woman settles on top of her girlfriend in between her legs without breaking the kiss. The couple can feel the intensity and hunger between them, their mouths moving together with want.

  Mickey pulls the shorter woman’s bottom lip into her mouth and swipes her tongue across it. Cali instantly responds by opening her mouth. When their tongues meet, Mickey lets out a soft moan that resonates through Cali’s body and settles deep within her.

  Mickey continues kissing Cali greedily. Cali runs her left hand through long, dark hair, cradling Mickey’s head while her right moves to the bottom of her girlfriend’s shirt. Cali slides her right hand up Mickey’s torso, over abs that tighten at the touch, and up to her chest, her hand stopping just before it reaches where she knows Mickey wants it.

  Mickey lets out a whimper and arches her back, rolling her hips up into Cali. The movement causes some tantalizing friction for both women and this time it’s Cali that moans. Mickey grips Cali’s shirt, giving it a quick tug. Cali sits up, breaking her mouth away, already missing the contact. She rips her own shirt off and tosses it to the side, then does the same to Mickey’s.

  Cali lays back down on top of her girlfriend, their bare, braless chests pressing together. Mickey runs her hands up and down Cali’s back. Her hands are just about to settle on Cali’s ass when the younger woman sits up quickly and pins both of Mickey’s hands above her head. She looks Mickey deep in the eyes, an impish grin on her face.

  “Uh-uh. No touching right now,” she says. Cali knows this drives Mickey wild, making the buildup more tantalizing and her climaxes that much more intense.

  When the older woman nods, agreeing to her rule, Cali begins to slowly rock her hips against the taller woman; not enough contact to give either woman a release, just enough to work them both up even more. Cali’s lips return to Mickey’s pulse point. Her girlfriend’s mouth and hips are driving the older woman mad.

  “Bedroom,” Mickey pants. Her ordinarily soft voice is low and rough, deepened by her craving for the woman on top of her.

  Cali lifts her head from Mickey’s neck. Her green eyes lock onto blue ones. “No,” she says. “I want you here.”

  Cali is taking full control right now, which turns Mickey on even more. She dips her head again but this time her mouth takes in Mickey’s breast instead of her neck, her tongue moving at a slow, tortuous pace. The older woman gasps at the new connection, her hips involuntarily jerking up, searching for more contact at her center. Her hands, still pinned above her head, grip the arm of the couch behind her.

  Cali uses her body weight to hold Mickey’s hips in place while her hand moves along the top of her boyshorts underwear. She dips the tip of one finger just under the elastic band and lightly slides it across from hip bone to hip bone.

  Cali removes her hand bringing it back up to her girlfriend’s hair as her mouth moves to Mickey’s other breast. The younger woman continues her painfully slow movements on top of her lover’s body. Mickey feels the tension building in her lower abdomen and lets out a soft whimper in response to Cali’s diligent attention to her body.

  “Please, baby,” Mickey whispers. She gasps sharply as she feels Cali bite down on her sensitive nipple. “Please… I need more.”

  “What do you need?” Cali asks releasing Mickey’s breast. She wants to hear her girlfriend say it.

  “I need...” Mickey’s breath is uneven. “I need...” She’s cut off by Cali wildly capturing her mouth again.

  Mickey groans as she feels both of Cali’s hands move underneath her to massage her ass for a minute before moving to her waist, thumbs pressing down on her hips. Cali runs her tongue over the woman’s stomach stopping to leave a dark hickey next to her belly button.

  “Tell me, baby,” Cali whispers into Mickey’s soft skin.

  Mickey swallows and says, “I need you to fuck me.”

  Cali moans loudly at finally hearing Mickey give herself over to the younger woman. The placement of her mouth makes the sound send a vibration straight to Mickey’s center, causing her to let out her own moan in response. Cali moves her head down Mickey’s body, one hand following to where the brunette needs her most, her other hand resting in the shallow between Mickey’s breasts. She gives her love the release she craves, over and over and over again.

  **********

  Cali is standing at one of the counters in Mickey’s kitchen pouring herself a glass of water. She opens the fridge and leans in to return the water pitcher. When she stands up, she feels Mickey’s strong arms wrap around her from behind.

  Mickey kisses the back of Cali’s head, hair still damp from their shared shower, and asks, “What do you want for lunch, baby?”

  Cali closes the refrigerator door and turns in Mickey’s arms to face the taller woman. With a cheeky grin, she answers, “Well I just ate, multiple times, so I’m not very hungry right now.”

  She takes a slow, deliberate sip of cold water and smiles. Mickey takes the glass from her hands and puts it on the counter next to them then quickly presses the younger woman’s back up against the fridge.

  “Mmm, so did I, but I’m still a bit hungry.”

  Mickey leans in with her own face sporting a mischievous grin. She sees Cali close her eyes, anticipating her lips feeling Mickey’s own in a moment. Just before their mouths meet, she pulls back holding a take-out menu she grabbed from a stack on top of the fridge.

  “I’m going to order a sandwich from Marty’s. Do you want anything?”

  Cali scoffs and mutters, “Way to get a girl’s hopes up.”

  She gives Mickey a pout that the older woman immediately kisses off of her face in the same obnoxious way Cali did earlier this morning. Laughing now, Cali takes the menu from Mickey and goes back to the couch in the living room.

  “What time is it?” she calls over her shoulder to the brunette still in the kitchen.

  Mickey checks the clock on the microwave. “Almost noon.”

  “Really? Damn, baby, that was like three hours.” Cali wiggles her eyebrows at Mickey as she sits down next to her on the couch.

  “Anything worth doing is worth doing right, right?”

  Cali chuckles at the woman’s response and gives her a quick peck on the lips. “What are you gonna have?”

  Mickey puts her chin in her hand as she thinks. “Hmm, probably a chicken sandwich.” Mickey sees that Cali mouths the words “chicken sandwich” with her. “What?” she asks as her girlfriend rolls her
eyes.

  “You always get a chicken sandwich.” Cali states.

  “Yes, and you always get roast beef with cheddar, tomato, and mayo,” Mickey fires back. “At least I change what goes on the sandwich.”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” Cali concedes. It’s Mickey’s turn to roll her eyes.

  “Do you want to go there or have it delivered?” the older woman asks.

  Cali pauses before answering and looks Mickey up and down. With a devilish smirk, she answers, “Have it delivered.”