My Name Is Not Alexa Pearce

by Kerri McLoone

  I pick out whatever is on the top of my bag — an oversized, long-sleeved gray shirt and another pair of skinny cargo pants, olive colored. The clothes I was wearing are completely ruined, so I wrap them up into a ball and shove it as far down in the garbage as I can.

  I take out Milo’s brush from the bag of his things. I brush him out as much as I can, throwing away clumps of the shed dirty fur. I splash some water on him and use some paper towels to try and get as much dirt off of him as possible. I brush him again, and when I’m done his coat is at least black again. Whether or not he’s entirely clean, I’d lean toward no.

  Next to Milo and I, Cali puts on a teal v-neck tee, a navy hooded sweatshirt, and jeans. She throws all the clothes she had on in the library into the garbage, then tosses the pile of paper towels on top.

  I pick up my canvas laundry bag, stuff Milo’s bag inside it, then I grab the supply duffle and throw it over my shoulder. The three of us exit the bathroom making sure we haven’t left anything behind. I use my telekinesis to re-lock the bathroom door. I take in a deep breath of the fresh night air and blow it out with puffed cheeks.

  Matt comes out of the men’s room shortly after. He has a red sweatshirt on with a yellow shirt poking out from underneath and jeans. He’s washed up like we have, and has his bag slung over his shoulder.

  I know this is not the time for it, but I can’t help but swoon at the sight of him. Facing death is known to be an aphrodisiac and I imagine if I weren’t so exhausted, I would jump him right here and now. I tilt my head to the side as I enjoy the thought for a minute.

  Cali breathes deeply and sighs. She crosses her arms then asks, “So where to now?”

  “What?” I reply, my brow furrows in confusion as I’m knocked out of my fantasy.

  “Where to?” Matt asks.

  “Are you guys still sure about this? I mean, you saw what just happened. It’ll only get worse from here.”

  I know I wouldn’t have gotten out of the library alive without them. But how can I expect them to come with me again after all that happened tonight?

  “You still have to ask us that?”

  “I will always ask you that.”

  “Lex, we’re coming, or at least I am.”

  “I’m with the Squirrel,” Matt adds. “And with you.”

  “You’re both sure?” They nod in sync. “Like really, really sure?”

  “Yes,” Cali says. “So, now that the library is gone, does that mean The Book is gone too?”

  “Well, yes that one is, but The Book itself isn’t technically gone,” I say off-handedly.

  “What?” Matt asks. “I saw the third cube blow up. And the whole library is gone. Did you take it out somehow?”

  “No.”

  “Then how is it not gone?” Cali.

  “It has a twin.”

  “A twin?” they ask at the same time.

  “Yup,” I say popping the P.

  “So that’s where we’re going?” Cali.

  “That’s right.”

  “And where is that?” Matt.

  “The twin is in the Eternal City. The place where all roads lead.”

  Acknowledgements

  There are an abundant amount of people who are responsible for this book. However, it would be incredibly boring and indulgent to list everyone, so I’ll just hit the main bullet points.

  To my mother, Marguerita, for listening to the ever-changing plot until I landed somewhere that made sense: thank you for never discouraging my wild ideas and reading draft after draft without complaint. Thank you for being there regardless of the situation, or your level of irritation with me. Thank you for showing me the type of person I want and strive to be.

  To my father, Dan, for helping me out of a jam or two (or three or four): thank you for giving me a little more freedom to pursue this than I probably would have had.

  To my sisters, Meghan and Kaitlin, who set the bar really high in life: thank you for always pushing me to rise to your level, telling me like it is to toughen me up, trusting your baby sister to give you advice, and always, always, always providing me with unwavering support.

  To my nieces and nephew: thank you for reawakening my imagination and creativity.

  To Amanda, Brittany, Erica, Kristen, Meryl, and Phil (you’re listed alphabetically, not in any order!): thank you for keeping me laughing when the days were dark and seemingly endless, for thrilling game nights no matter how many times I lost, meals filled with genuine excitement over this project, and text messages of constant love and encouragement.

  To the rest of my family, far and wide, extended and near: you are all very dear to me, and I love you wholeheartedly.

  To Ms. Donna B, who gave me the final push to ultimately start all of this: thank you for keeping tabs on my progress and proofreading. You are one of the best teachers I have ever had.

  To the magical medical professionals — SD, DM, KA, and everyone at NY Orthopedics and Lenox Hill; JD, and everyone at NY Pain and Spine; and EK, JD, and everyone at Burke Rehab: thank you for returning me to being a functioning human again, for reminding me to trust that the day would come when I would be back to myself again. Once my spine healed because of your multiple combined efforts, my mind was finally clear enough to be able to write this book. I am eternally grateful to you all and forever in your debt.

  To my pups, Corie and Jax, who were meshed together to create Milo: you are both very good dogs. However, one more so than the other.

  To Joey, the love of my life: thank you, quite honestly, for everything. There are not enough words to describe what you mean to and what you’ve done for me in our time together. I am my best self with you. If I had nothing else in the world but you, I’d still have everything I’ve ever wanted.

  And finally, to you, the reader: thank you for taking the time out of your life — from whatever schedules, appointments, play dates, chores, errands, or any of the other tasks that endlessly fill all of our days — to read this book. Our time on this earth is limited, and that you spent a little piece of it with the words I’ve written fills me with a gratitude I’m not sure I could ever completely express.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  

  Kerri McLoone has worked as a camp counselor, an administrative assistant, and plenty of jobs in between. She first came up with the character of Alexa Pearce when she was a college student. In 2009, Kerri graduated from the Conservatory of Music at Purchase College. A few years later, she was inspired to go back to school and pursue an area that had always been of interest to her. She received her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Long Island University in 2015.

  Only a couple short months later, she suffered an accident at work that left her in constant debilitating pain, severe physical limitations, and resulted in two major back surgeries before her thirtieth birthday.

  Recovering her health allowed her the time she had not previously had to explore the story of Alexa and finally, after many long years, see it put down in tangible form.

  She currently resides just outside of New York City with her dog, Jax.

  This is her first novel.

  Email: KerriMcLooneBooks@gmail.com

  

  Follow Kerri McLoone on Social Media:

  @KerriMcLooneBooks @_kmbooks_ @_kmbooks_