Down & Dirty_Slade

by Jeanne St. James

  Hawk hadn’t brought it up during their phone call and she had been too worried about Slade’s physical well-being to think to ask.

  She curled her fingers against his jeans and stared at his chest, watching the soft rise and fall. “I know this is probably the last place you want to be, but you can’t go back to church and be on your own right now, and I’m sure you don’t want any of the brothers to do it, so I’m sorry, but I’m going to take care of you.”

  “Princess...”

  “I have a confession to make—”

  His thigh muscle tightened under her fingers. “Princess...”

  He couldn’t interrupt her, she needed to get it out. “I didn’t sleep with Rig. I’m sorry I lied to you, but I didn’t have a choice at the time. I... I...”

  Oh fuck. The tears were escaping faster than she could wipe them away. And soon she would start snotting and sniveling like a weak little bitch.

  She bowed her head and mustered on. “I’m sorry, Slade. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t know what to do so I said the first thing that popped into my head...” She sniffled. “I know it’s no excuse. And if you wouldn’t have left... you wouldn’t have fallen into Warrior hands if it wasn’t for me...”

  She gave up and stopped wiping at her face. She just couldn’t contain the tears and there was no point in trying.

  She looked up when his hand cupped her cheek and his thumb brushed a tears away. “Ain’t your fault,” he said softly.

  “Yes, it is. You left because of me. Because of what I did... or really, what I said.”

  “Princess... D told me why you did what you did. Told me that he found out ‘bout my pop. With the shit the Warriors been pullin’, don’t blame him for bein’ cautious.”

  “You didn’t know your father was a Warrior?”

  “Had no fuckin’ clue. Been askin’ ‘bout him for a long time. Just had a bad photo with his name on the back.”

  Di decided to test the waters. “Do you know what happened to him?”

  He shook his head slightly. “No. Warriors said he’s dead. All I know. Not sure when or how, but they said he’s dead. No reason not to believe ‘em.”

  Diamond reached up and snagged his hand, pulling it into her lap with a squeeze. “They didn’t tell you how he died?”

  “No. Wasn’t like we were havin’ deep conversations, princess.” He flipped his hand over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

  “D didn’t say anything?”

  His fingers flexed within hers and he lifted his gaze from their hands. “Does D know?”

  Oh fuck... Oh fuckity fuck.

  Her mouth dropped open and the air rushed from her lungs.

  She couldn’t tell him yet. Not yet. Not when he needed her help to heal. Once he was up and about, she’d tell him and then he could leave if he wanted to. But not until then. She needed this time with him. Needed to make amends for what she did. She’d also made amends for what Rocky did to his father later, if necessary.

  But right now, he was there, in her bed. And he needed her. She stared at their clasped hands.

  “Wanted to kill Rig. Just so you know.”

  Diamond glanced up in surprise.

  “Every time I closed my eyes, saw ‘im on top of you... saw him getting’ what should only be mine, princess. That killed me, fuckin’ ate at me. Had a hard time gettin’ that outta my head. Couldn’t. Tried to drink it away, that didn’t work, either.”

  Diamond didn’t know what to say. Her throat had closed up as he spoke and now more tears threatened to spill.

  What the hell was happening to her? She was not a weak cry baby like this. She shook herself mentally.

  “Have to get these clothes off of you,” she finally said, clearing her throat and wishing she could clear her emotions just as easily. She reached for the bottom of his shirt. “They’re filthy.”

  He grabbed her hand, holding it still for a moment. “Yeah, need you naked, too, princess. Need to feel you against me. Just you. Just me. Can’t do more than that, but wanna feel how real you are. A reminder that I didn’t die in the Warriors’ hands.”

  She bit her bottom lip to keep from becoming a blubbering mess. “You definitely didn’t die in Warrior’s hands. I’m real. You’re real,” she whispered.

  She pulled his blood-stained shirt up and over his head carefully and threw it on the floor. He unbuttoned his jeans and he slowly shimmied out of them with her help. Though, she couldn’t miss the few times he sucked in a sharp breath. She peeled his boxers off next.

  He needed a shower but that wasn’t going to happen tonight. She gathered his dirty clothes and tossed them into the hamper she kept in her closet, then went to get a pan of warm water and a wash cloth.

  When she returned he still sat up in bed naked and she let her gaze roam over his bruised body. His tattoos weren’t the only colors now adorning his chest and ribs. She steeled herself and carried the pan over to the bed.

  “Going to clean you up a bit, baby. Let me know if I’m hurting you.” She chewed on her bottom lip as she dipped the washcloth into the water, rang it out and began to gently wipe away the dried blood on his face and chest.

  She couldn’t read his expression because his face was so swollen, and his eyes were still not much more than slits. After cleaning him up as best as she could, she threw the washcloth back into the pan and sat studying him. She traced her fingertips across his collarbone and down his sternum, straightening out his dog tags before continuing down over his abs and following the line of hair that started at his navel and went south.

  He grabbed her hand and held it still. “Sorry, princess. Wish I could but can’t tonight.”

  “I know. I just needed to touch you.”

  “I’m real. You’re real,” he echoed her from earlier. “How long can you go bein’ my sweet Diamond without gettin’ any dick? Not capable right now. But hopin’ she sticks around, anyway.”

  A small smile curled the corner of her lips. “I promise I’ll do my best as long as you’re in my bed.”

  “Can’t go anywhere right now, princess. Even so, ain’t nowhere I’d rather be.”

  He might rethink that after he found out the truth about her father.

  “Gotta rest now so I can think straight later.”

  Yeah, she did, too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You said you were raised by a single mom.” Diamond put her fork down and studied Slade who sat across from her at her kitchen table. He was finally feeling well enough to get around, take a shower, and sit with her at the table. She figured he’d soon be moving back to church.

  Not that she wanted that to happen. But if he wanted it, she wasn’t going to stop him.

  Even so, it was time for her to address the issue she had put off, then if he needed to leave, he could.

  “Never said she raised me. Raised in a foster home. No one wanted to step up an’ claim me. My uncle was a member of an MC, so there was no fuckin’ way he was raisin’ an orphan like me. Distant relatives didn’t want nothin’ to do with me. Most of ‘em couldn’t afford an extra mouth, anyhow.”

  She pushed away her plate and picked at the label on her bottle of Iron City beer.

  He glanced at her half-eaten food. “Ain’t hungry, princess?”

  Hell no, she wasn’t hungry. She wanted to puke.

  She just found out since her father killed his, he became an orphan and ended up in a foster home. That made this whole thing between their fathers even worse.

  “Slade,” she started, but then had to swallow the lump stuck in her throat.

  He shoved a forkful of green beans into his mouth and chewed. “What?”

  She closed her eyes when the room began to spin.

  “What?” he asked her again, more forcefully.

  “I need to tell you something...”

  Her eyes popped open when his fork clattered onto his plate. His face had become dark and it was from much more than the remaining bruises on his face. “If yo
u fuckin’ tell me you fucked—”

  Her eyes widened. “No!” she yelled, then took a breath and repeated, “No,” more softly. “No, there’s been no one but you... This is about my father.”

  He pushed his plate away and sat back in his chair, staring at her. “What about ‘im?”

  “This is about your father.”

  He frowned in confusion. “Diamond, what the fuck?”

  She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at the man who had lived with her for the past week, the man who she’d taken care of, the one she had fallen in love with who knew when, the biker who she knew was meant to be her ol’ man.

  She knew it. She felt it in her bones. But that didn’t mean he’d want that, especially after she told him what she was about to.

  But she needed to get it out. He deserved to know. And she had asked D, Hawk and all of the others to let her be the one to tell him.

  Surprisingly, they had respected her wishes.

  “My dad... Rocky went to prison a long time ago...”

  “Yeah, babe, know that.”

  “Your father was killed a long time ago...”

  His head tilted as he studied her. “Don’t know when he was killed. Gonna ask D to find out the details.”

  “Slade...”

  He slammed his hand on the table which not only made the silverware jump but Diamond, too. “Diamond, where the fuck you goin’ with this?”

  She swallowed again then braced herself. “D already knows the details. Had Hunter dig them up.”

  He stared at her with his dark brown eyes intense, his brows low. “You know?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered. “I know.”

  His nostrils flared, and he didn’t say a word for a long moment. “Why’d you keep it from me?”

  “When I tell you what I know, I hope you’ll understand why.”

  His jaw tightened then he demanded, “Tell me.”

  “My father was put in prison for killing two Warriors.”

  “Yeah... oh fuck.” He shoved his chair back so hard, the legs squealed against the floor. He pushed to his feet.

  “One of the Warriors was—”

  “Oh fuck,” he muttered, shaking his head.

  “Buzz,” she finished, closing her eyes and waiting for him to rush from the room. When he didn’t move, she opened them again. He wasn’t looking at her, though. He was staring at the ceiling, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck.

  “Fuck,” he muttered again.

  She stood and rushed around the table, but he stepped back and held out a hand to stop her from coming any closer.

  His dark eyes landed on her. “You tellin’ me that your father killed mine?”

  Diamond took a shaky breath. “Yeah, that’s what I’m telling you.”

  “You knew for how long?”

  “Since that day...”

  “What day?”

  “The day I lied to you about Rig.”

  “The day you found out my father was a Warrior an’ you pushed me away.”

  “Yes.”

  “D wasn’t sure of my loyalty because of that.”

  “Yes.”

  “Diamond...”

  “Yeah,” she breathed.

  He pinned his gaze on her. “My father didn’t come get me from the foster home ‘cause he was probably already fuckin’ dead.”

  Oh shit. She rubbed at her chest because suddenly she had an unbearable ache there. “Probably.”

  He turned away and walked into her living room. He began to pace back and forth in front of her fireplace as he scrubbed a hand over his short hair. “Might’ve come got me if he knew.”

  “Might have,” she repeated, but honestly, she had no idea if a Warrior named Buzz, who couldn’t bother to stick around when Slade’s mother got pregnant, would have come back to claim his kid. No one would ever know if that would have happened.

  He suddenly stopped his pacing and spun on his heel. He rushed up to her, grabbing her arms. “Never had your pop around because he was doin’ time for killin’ mine.”

  Diamond didn’t answer. She didn’t need to since she doubted that he expected an answer. He was working all of this out in his head.

  “Our fathers fucked us both.”

  She guessed it could be looked at in that way.

  He stared down into her face. “Why did Rocky kill my father?”

  “I... I don’t know. Just knew it had to do with revenge for another murder.”

  “Don’t know the details?”

  “Not enough.”

  He shook his head. “Gotta know.”

  “What?” she whispered, staring up at him.

  He released her abruptly and stalked away to her front window, staring out. He again started running his hand over his hair. “Gotta know the details, princess. Gotta talk to Rocky.” He turned suddenly. “Need to talk to your father.”

  Fuck. He wanted to go to the prison?

  “Can’t have this shit hangin’ over us. We both lost our fathers for this bullshit beef that’s been goin’ on forever. Need to know why.”

  “I can understand if you feel the need to leave.”

  He spun around. “What?”

  “I can understand if you don’t want to be near me because my father murdered yours.”

  He blew out a breath and slowly approached her, his face unreadable. She went to step back, and he stopped her by saying, “Don’t you fuckin’ move.”

  She blinked up at him when he came toe to toe with her, staring down into her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she began.

  “For what?”

  “For my father—”

  “Think you need to pay for the sins of your father?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “Fuck no. You hate me ‘cause my father was a Warrior?”

  “No.”

  “You’re not your father. I’m not mine.”

  “But—”

  “Diamond, get that shit outta your head. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He reached up and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip.

  “You really want to go visit Rocky at Greene?”

  “Fuck yeah. When’s visiting hours?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s been awhile since I’ve been there. I’ll look it up. You don’t want to go today, do you? It might be too late.”

  “Fuck no. Right now I need to take you in the bedroom an’ need some of that sweet Diamond honey.”

  Her eyes widened. “Are you up for that?”

  “Fuck yeah. Been way too long, princess. Gonna be careful. Can’t get too wild, though, woman. An’ know you like it rough. But need to be inside you.”

  “I need you inside me, t—”

  He cut her off, crushing his mouth to hers. She let him in. She was relieved he hadn’t run from her place, never wanting anything to do with her again. Her tongue twisted against his and a groan escaped her as he deepened the kiss.

  Fuck. It had been too long. In the past few days, the only thing she did to take care of his needs was to give him head a couple of times. And, of course, he didn’t complain about it, but it unfortunately left her wanting and on edge. She even started to take care of her own business while he watched but he stopped her. He said if he couldn’t fuck her, it would be more torture for him than anything.

  But now, if he thought he was ready...

  He broke the kiss, almost as out of breath as she was. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Babe, would love to pick you up, carry you into the bedroom an’ throw you on the bed to take you as hard as you like it, but ain’t there yet. So gonna follow me into your room, gonna take your time undressin’ an’ then you’re gonna climb onto my dick. Got me?”

  “Yeah,” she breathed, squeezing her thighs together as heat and wetness rushed through her. “I’m going to do just that.”

  He smiled, gave her a quick kiss and then pulled her into her room.

  He winced when she helped him pull off his shirt. “Are
you sure about this?”

  “Fuck yeah, princess. Can deal with a little bit of pain. Worth it.”

  She finished pulling his shirt over his head and threw it aside. He unbuttoned his jeans and took his time peeling them off. Once he was naked he got on the bed and sat against the headboard.

  “Now get naked... slowly. Give me a show, babe.”

  The impatience Slade felt was growing. He wanted to be inside Diamond more than anything, but as he leaned against her headboard, he reminded himself that he had plenty of time. They had plenty of time.

  He was right where he belonged. In her bed. In her life. And she was right where he wanted her. Well, at the moment she was too far away but she was giving him a hell of a show. Better than any of Dawg’s strippers at Heaven’s Angels.

  And the reason why was Diamond was his. Only his.

  No other man would ever get to see this show. It was exclusively for him.

  She had already stripped down to her panties and bra, so slowly that he wanted to shout at her to come over to him and climb onto his dick. But he didn’t. He let her work it. She circled her hips, then would turn and bend over, wiggling her ass until those little silky black panties rode up her ass cheeks.

  Fuck him. His palm itched to spank those perfect globes.

  He found out weeks ago just how much she loved to be spanked. He wasn’t up to it tonight but soon... Soon he’d see her cheeks red from him giving her exactly what she wanted.

  He circled his dick with his fingers and squeezed.

  Still bent over, she unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor and when she straightened, she spun around, her hands over her tits. She twisted both nipples in her fingers, her eyelids heavy, that fucking skilled mouth of hers parted.

  “Holy fuck, babe. Not sure where you learned to strip, but wish I had a wad of ones.”

  When she laughed, it was low and throaty causing his dick to kick in his hand. She continued to caress her tits and he couldn’t pull his gaze away. Not that he wanted to. He took long, slow strokes with his fingers up and down his length, the precum beading at the tip. He left it there instead of wiping it away because he was going to make her lick it clean. Oh, fucking yea, he was.