by Maria Grace
‘Did you tell your friends at the home about today?’ she asked.
I shook my head.
‘WHY NOT?’ she bellowed at me.
‘Because I went to visit my mother last night, that’s why,’ I said. ‘So I didn’t have time to say anything to them. And besides, I’ve only just made up with Karra. I don’t want to ruin things by asking her to do something that could get her into trouble.’
‘But Em!’ Megan was frustrated. ‘She’s your friend. You know that she would help you.’
‘Please don’t shout at me,’ I pleaded.
‘Soz,’ she replied. ‘You’re just silly sometimes.’
‘I know.’ I nodded. ‘I thought about not coming to school today, but if I back out of this, Stacey Lock will never leave me alone. And then I’ll be known as Emmeline-Chicken for the rest of my life.’
Megan sat down next to me.
‘Can’t you use your woo-woo stuff to get inside her head and make her change her mind?’ she asked.
I massaged my forehead to try and ease the stress. ‘No, I’ve told you before – it doesn’t work like that.’
We folded our arms around our knees.
Megan shot back up. ‘We could move schools!’
‘We’re not moving schools,’ I replied.
‘Then what are you going to do?’
I wrapped my lucky cardigan around me, and blew again into the paper bag.
BRRRRRING! BRRRRRING!
The sound made us jump.
The lunch bell.
‘There’s only one thing for it,’ I said. ‘I have to fight.’
THIRTY-THREE
I walked to the hockey pitch with Megan, dragging my legs up the hill. My body felt as if it was simultaneously made of bricks and feathers. In one way, I felt so heavy – every step was an effort. But in another way, I felt like I was floating.
This must be how people feel, just before they die.
We arrived at the pitch and she was already there.
The crowd was massive. There were loads of people waiting to witness my final moments. I had no idea I was so popular.
‘You’ll be OK,’ said Megan. But the expression on her face wasn’t as confident as the words from her mouth.
Megan and Ollie had been panicking all morning. Ollie had even threatened to go to the head teacher so he could put a stop to the fight, but I had convinced him not to. Even though I was terrified, I knew that if I didn’t do this, I would always live in fear of Stacey Lock.
‘Em, this is stupid,’ said Ollie, trying to control his worry. ‘Please don’t go through with it. What if you get hurt?’
‘I have to go through with it, Ollie.’
He ran over to Stacey Lock. ‘Stacey, come on…’ he pleaded with her. ‘Hasn’t this gone far enough?’
‘Sorry, Ollie.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s done.’
I took a deep breath. I was shaking all over. The fear gripped me like a seatbelt stuck tightly around my neck. I was too frightened to cry. That was a good thing, I reckoned. It made me look less scared than I actually was.
I took off my lucky cardigan and handed it to Megan.
‘If anything happens to me … I want you to have this.’
‘No, Em!’ said Megan. ‘Not your lucky cardigan.’
‘Yes. Take it.’
I started walking towards Stacey Lock.
I had never really noticed how stocky she was until now.
She glared at me across the pitch.
The fear stopped me in my tracks. My legs turned to jelly.
I started reciting The Lord’s Prayer in English.
Our Father, who art in Heaven…
I looked at Stacey. She was rolling up her sleeves.
I started reciting The Lord’s Prayer in Welsh.
Ein Tad, yr hwn wyt yn y nefoedd…
She scowled at me and spat on the ground.
She was going to destroy me.
I started reciting The Lord’s Prayer in French – just to be on the safe side.
Notre Père, qui es aux cieux…
Stacey Lock walked slowly towards me, like a lion about to eat its prey.
I recited The Lord’s Prayer one final time in Spanish.
Padre nuestro que estás en los cielos…
‘SMELLMELIIINEEE!’ she roared. ‘LET’S DO THIS!’
Oh balls!
Balls, balls, balls, balls, BALLS!
I tried to think of all the things that made me angry, so I could get into the zone. It was the only thing I could think of to bring out my fighting spirit. That’s if I had any.
I thought about Mum and all the stupid stuff she’d done. I mean, who smashes their kids’ home up? What kind of mother puts their kids through something like that?
I thought how Freya and I had been separated. My little sister had gone to foster parents and I had been taken into a children’s home. Pathetic.
But then I thought how Mum was trying her best to get better, and how difficult it must be for her to be away from us and stuck in that horrible hospital, all by herself.
I thought about how much she and Grandma Coalman loved me and Freya. We may be a slightly dysfunctional family, but we really did care about each other.
I thought about how happy Freya was with Bill and Nora, and how she had a little foster sister there with her making the experience fun. If I was honest, it had been more of a positive experience for her than a negative one.
It wasn’t working. The anger for my mum had gone. How odd… When did that happen?
I tried to think about something else instead.
I thought about my argument with Karra and all the mean things we’d said to each other. She had called me an attention seeker. But then again, I had embarrassed her in front of everyone, so we were both in the wrong.
I thought about all the times she’d been in a mood over Lucas. I mean, you just can’t go around treating your friends like dirt, because some boy is giving you a hard time. Whatever happened to Sisters before Misters and Fries before Guys?
Then again, it must have been horrible for her to be with someone who cheated and made her feel like crap.
And then I thought about how much I had missed Karra when we weren’t speaking.
I thought about all the laughing we had done over the last couple of months. About how much easier she had made my time in the children’s home and how she’d lent me her lovely hot-water bottle during my first night there.
Nope.
I still couldn’t get angry.
I had to try something different.
I looked at Stacey Lock. She was standing opposite me with The Clones at her side. They seemed to find the whole thing quite amusing. Stacey looked like she had done this a hundred times before. She was probably a pro at ripping people’s heads off.
I thought about all the things that Stacey had done to me.
Tripping me up in the corridor.
Slamming the locker door into my nose.
Throwing the netball at my face.
Calling my mother a psycho.
Calling me ‘Smellmeline’ all the time.
I washed, damn it. I washed every day! How could she call me smelly? And how could she be so nasty as to make fun of my mother for being in the hospital?
But, it occurred to me, if it wasn’t for Stacey Lock being so mean to me and triggering the Listening, I would never have understood it. I would never have learnt that I was a Listener. I would never have gone to my mother for help. And my mother would never have taught me about all this new stuff – a whole world of real-life awesomeness that I wouldn’t have had a clue about. And because of that, Mum and I had somehow managed to repair the wounds that had gaped between us like a rip in a pair of tights.
I couldn’t even be too angry with Stacey Lock. In the end, she had actually done me a favour.
For every reason I came up with to be angry, there was an even better reason not to be.
It suddenly dawned on me tha
t my life was actually … OK.
And for the first time that day, I smiled.
CRUNCH!
I was jolted out of my lovely epiphany as I hit the floor, landing on top of my schoolbag.
‘What are you smiling about, you freak?’ Stacey Lock stood over me.
I got up, glancing at the crowd that surrounded me.
‘I can’t look!’ Megan covered her eyes.
I could do this – I had to do this. It was now or never.
I tried to motivate myself.
Think like a bull, Em. Think like a bull.
I don’t know why I imagined a bull, but it seemed to work. I thought like a bull and charged at her, as fast and as hard as I could. I knocked her down onto the hockey pitch.
She was shocked.
I was shocked.
Megan clapped.
Ollie fist-pumped the air.
Please, God. Don’t let me die. Don’t let me die.
Stacey stood back up. Giving me daggers, she got ready for her next move.
What was I supposed to do now? I had never hit anyone properly in my life. I didn’t know how to fight.
She came closer.
I closed my eyes and braced myself for the next impact.
I waited…
And waited…
I heard footsteps.
‘I think you’d best step away from my friend,’ a familiar voice warned.
I opened my eyes.
Karra.
But how did she know where I was? How did she know about the fight?
Quinn, Bett, Little Charlie and Karra walked in unison onto the hockey pitch, like a slow-motion scene from a blockbuster film. It was epic.
Karra stepped forward. There wasn’t even a hint of fear in her face. The girl was solid.
‘If you want to pick on someone,’ she said to Stacey, ‘then pick on me, you grim little skank.’
Stacey looked unsettled. ‘This is between me and Smellmeline.’
‘Between you and who?’ Karra asked.
‘Smellmeline.’
Bett came and stood next to me. ‘Why do you call her that?’
‘Because she smells, obvs.’ Stacey laughed at Bett.
‘Emmeline Rose doesn’t smell,’ said Bett. ‘She showers every day. She’s one of the nicest-smelling people I know. She smells like raspberries.’
Stacey smirked at Bett.
Karra grabbed her by the jumper. ‘You find my friend funny, do you?’ She was nose-to-nose with Stacey Lock. ‘Well, you won’t find her so amusing when you haven’t got any teeth left to smile with!’
My ear started ringing again. Oh, come on,notnow!
The noise scraped through me. I winced and covered my ears. I couldn’t hear anything that Karra was saying, but I knew she was still talking because I could see her mouth moving.
The high-pitched sound eventually settled down, and the pain started to subside.
I heard someone crying.
I looked around me. Everyone seemed fine. So, where was the crying coming from?
‘This girl is crazy.’ I heard Stacey Lock’s voice, and I realised that the crying sound was coming from her. ‘I can’t fight her,’ said Stacey. ‘She’ll slaughter me!’ She sounded genuinely scared.
Karra was pretty intimidating when she wanted to be. I could see that she was ready to deliver the smack-down of the century to Stacey. And I could also see that Stacey was terrifiedof Karra. I knew how it felt to be that scared of a person. I had always felt so frightened of Stacey Lock. But looking at her now, I could see that even she was frightened sometimes. And that made her seem less scary.
I couldn’t let Karra beat her up. If I did, then I would be just as bad as Stacey. I was the only person who could hear how frightened she really was. I felt a tiny bit of responsibility to help her.
This was a chance to put things right.
‘Karra, leave it there,’ I said.
Karra turned to me. ‘What? Are you mad?’
‘Please?’
She huffed loudly. ‘Are you sure? Because I’ll deck her if you want me to. You know I will.’
‘It’s fine, honestly,’ I replied. ‘Let’s just go.’
Karra let go of Stacey Lock’s jumper.
‘You’re lucky,’ she said to Stacey. ‘But I’m warning you … if you mess with my friend again, I’ll break your face, alright?’
Stacey nodded.
Megan and Ollie picked up my schoolbag and we started to walk away.
Bett turned back to face Stacey Lock.
‘You’re a really mean girl,’ said Bett. ‘You’re just a bully.’
Stacey snarled at Bett. ‘Piss off back to special school, Chubs.’
I gasped in shock.
I looked across to Bett. Her bottom lip wobbled and she had tears in her eyes.
‘Woah, woah, WOOOAH!’ Quinn’s eyes widened and she had a look on her face that I’d never seen before. ‘BACK … THE TRUCK … UP.’
She walked over to Stacey Lock and stood in front of her.
Stacey looked at her with attitude. ‘What do you want?’
Quinn slowly lifted her arm up high, bringing it as far back as she could. Then she brought her fist down sharply and…
SMACK!
She punched Stacey Lock right in the face!
Everyone cheered as Stacey fell backwards and held her nose.
Quinn shouted at her, ‘NOBODY speaks to Betty Morris like that – except ME!’
Stacey grabbed her bag and staggered away from the hockey pitch as fast as she could.
Bett was beaming. ‘Quinn Davies! I can’t believe you just did that. For me!’ She threw her arms around Quinn.
‘Yeah, yeah.’ Quinn hugged her quickly. ‘Don’t milk it.’
‘Thank you for sticking up for me,’ said Bett.
‘You’re welcome,’ replied Quinn. ‘I know we have our arguments, but I won’t stand by and watch someone treat you badly. You may be a massive turd, but you’re my massive turd.’
Little Charlie jogged in front, doing boxing impressions of Quinn’s victory punch. Bett ran to join her, fist-pumping the air.
Megan handed my lucky cardigan to me. ‘You’ll probably want this back.’
I gratefully put it back on and felt the comfort wrapping around my shoulders, making me feel safe once again.
I looked at Karra. ‘But how did you know about all this?’
‘Your friend phoned the home earlier and filled us in on all the goss,’ Karra answered and pointed at Megan, who shrugged her shoulders.
‘I did warn you that if you didn’t tell them, I would tell them myself,’ said Megan.
I put my arm around Megan’s shoulders and kissed her cheek.
She smiled.
Then I put my arm around Karra’s shoulders and kissed her cheek, too.
‘You’re welcome,’ said Karra. ‘Now get off me, you lezzer.’
THIRTY-FOUR
Mum sang happily to Christmas songs as she and Freya danced around with tinsel on their heads.
Grandma Coalman was sitting on the sofa, fiddling with some string on one of the tree baubles. She’d been trying to tie it for about ten minutes, but kept losing the string at the very last second.
‘Here, Gram…’ I took the bauble away before she lost her temper. ‘Let me do it. You can do these ones instead.’ I passed her the hanging reindeer to put on the tree.
It was going to be an epic Christmas. Mum was home and the house was all fixed up lovely. Grandma Coalman had done a wonderful job with organising everything.
Freya now had my old room and she loved it. Grandma Coalman had moved into Freya’s old bedroom and Mum’s room had been done out in lilac – just like she had always wanted.
The living room was great, too. We had a nice new telly because Mum had smashed the last one up when she thought the government was using it to spy on us.
Mum seemed reallyhappy now that she was at home again. She and Grandma Coalman bickered a li
ttle, but they would soon get used to living with each other.
Freya was also back at home, but she was still going to visit Bill and Nora every weekend for respite care and to see Lola. They had become firm friends and Mel had organised a care plan to make sure that they all saw each other regularly.
Grandma Coalman still had her bungalow if she wanted to go back up there for some space, but I think she liked being around to look after Mum and argue with Freya.
Mum was taking her medication every day, so her moods had stabilised. She had a lady who called round to make sure everything was running smoothly. Mum seemed so different since she was home, much more settled. And she was cooking again. She hadn’t cooked in a long time, but now her and Grandma Coalman had started watching Jamie Oliver on the telly and spent loads of time making his posh thirty-minute meals, which really took two hours.
And me? I hadn’t moved back home, no. I gave my room to Freya and moved my stuff to the attic bedroom. I came for overnight stays on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Mum would have preferred me to be at home more than that, but we had come to a nice compromise and I was grateful that she didn’t pressure me.
Mum sang as she strung a set of white lights around the tree and Grandma Coalman joined in, throwing the silver tinsel over the branches.
Freya and I helped by hanging the last of the tree decorations up and eating most of the little chocolates.
‘What time is your party, Em?’ asked Mum.
‘It starts at seven, so Mel’s picking me up at half six,’ I answered.
She stuffed a chocolate into her mouth. ‘I’ve ironed your clothes ready. They’re on your bed, OK?’
‘Cheers, Mum.’
Grandma Coalman pinched one of Freya’s chocolates.
‘Oi!’ Freya folded her arms. ‘Give that back!’
‘Or what?’ Grandma Coalman teased.
You’d think that living together would have mellowed them out a bit, but no. They still squabbled about twenty times a day.
‘Childish!’ Freya shouted at Grandma Coalman.
‘Brat!’ Grandma Coalman shouted back.
‘Gram…’ Freya looked at her. ‘Have you always been like this?’
‘Like what?’
‘So offensive,’ replied Freya.
‘Oh, yes.’ Grandma Coalman looked proud. ‘It’s how I was raised. My brothers and I were brought up on insults – it’s how we showed our love.’