“It’s okay. I should really find something too.” I walked toward the door and Devlin stood, following. My fridge consisted of the usual. Milk, cheese, yogurt, lunch meat. I grabbed the ingredients and began making her a sandwich.
Devlin had already sat her in her high chair and I cut the sandwich into small pieces before I placed it on her tray. I was exhausted by the time I put the food away.
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“I don’t think so.” I started to head to the room when he reached out and grabbed my wrist, gently pulling me in his direction.
“You really need to eat.” The demand was there, even if he was trying to act restrained. “It might be hard or unappealing, but think about the baby.” The brush of his hand over my stomach almost made my eyes close. I wasn’t used to being touched. Not by a man, by him. The heat that emanated from my body left me longing for more. But that couldn’t happen. Not like I wanted. He wasn’t interested in me in that way anymore after what I’d done. Now, I was only the mother of his children.
My head lowered and he moved me to sit on the chair. “Now’s not the time to be proud or stubborn. I’ll make you something, but you have to try to eat it. Okay?”
All I could do was nod. I didn’t trust myself to speak. Wasn’t even sure I’d have the strength.
As he warmed up the soup, I kept my attention on Ava. The sandwich was scattered and she was mainly eating the meat and cheese. I stood, walking over and grabbing her cup. Devlin took it from my hand, leading me back to the table.
“Sit and tell me what to do.” Again, an order.
“There’s apple juice in the fridge. She likes it with her lunch.”
He smiled. “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
Ava’s hands went out as he finished up and walked toward her.
“There we go. See, all your mommy has to do is talk to me and we’ll get everything sorted out.” The look he threw me had both of us looking away. Had he meant something else by that? Maybe even caught himself off guard?
He went back to the stove, turned the burner off, and poured my soup. The smell as he set it before me had my eyes closing. Chicken noodle may have been good for sickness, but not pregnancy. I managed to do better if I breathed out of my mouth, but not by much.
“Good. Keep eating.” Devlin was back at the stove, making himself some. I was betting he couldn’t even remember eating anything from a can in his life. At least since he’d made his money. This had to be odd for him. The house. The food. The…people. How was he taking it? Was he really as comfortable as he appeared or was he having second thoughts?
“If you want to go on your date tonight, it’s really okay. I’m feeling a little better. Ava and I will be fine. You don’t have to stay.”
Blue eyes met mine and he turned back to the pot, stirring.
“I already called and cancelled. Besides, Branson’s bringing me some videos. Jill’s letting me borrow them. We can watch them together. It’ll be good.”
“What videos? Like, auditions?”
I knew Branson was in charge of his ad and if he thought I was going to help him pick out a wife or sub, he had another think coming.
“No. It’s a show called A Baby Story, I think. Like a TV show. Anyway, he was telling me that Jill watched them every day when she was pregnant and I thought you and I could watch them too.”
My eyes widened. “That show is…” To say I hadn’t seen it would have been a lie. I bawled my eyes out on almost every single one. Seeing the babies born and the parent’s reactions got me every time.
“Is, what?”
Even though I knew how I’d reacted, they were damn good and I wanted to experience that with him. “We’re going to need to keep some tissues handy. Well, I will.”
“It’s sad?” Concern had him staring over as he tried to pour his soup into the bowl.
“Not sad, just…emotional.”
He got quiet as he walked to the table.
“It’s a great show, though. You’ll like it. A lot, probably.” I smiled, taking another bite. Banging had him peering over at Ava who was slamming her cup into the lid of her highchair. “I’m going to go wash her up and lay her down for a nap.” He started to rise when I held up my hand. “I can do it. Really, I’m fine. It’s your turn to eat.”
I placed my bowl in the sink, and took off her tray, lifting her out. As I washed her up and changed her diaper, I opted for rocking her to sleep. I needed her comfort. To hold her to me as the rest of my world spun out of control. Time flew by and I wasn’t sure how long Devlin stood leaning against the door frame, or how long Ava had actually been asleep. With the expression on his face…butterflies took over and I stood, placing her in bed and easing the door shut on my way out.
“You’re a wonderful mother, Victoria. So much stronger than I imagined.”
I paused. Although I knew how much work and love I put into my life, hearing him say that made it all come together. It touched something deep within, easing some form of invisible weight. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
All he did was nod as he followed me back to the room.
As I climbed in my bed, he didn’t hesitate to join me on the other side. I sat down on my side while he went back to flipping through the stations on the television. Was this the way things were going to go? There was a TV in the living room, yet he was here. In my bed, relaxing against my headboard as if he owned it.
There was a pat on my pillow, but he didn’t look at me or say anything. I eased down, getting comfortable as I tried to adjust to how things were playing out. If this continued, it wouldn’t be good. Sure, I could guard myself living under the same roof…if we weren’t constantly together. But this, surely the dam holding our lust would break at some point. Well, mine would. And then what?
Chapter 5
Devlin
“Don’t jump,” the pig said. “You can’t fly.”
I looked down at Ava, smiling, as I read her one of the books in her massive collection. “I can, too. Watch. The bird spread his wings, flapping them and moving a few inches off the ground.
“But I don’t have wings,” the pig said, snorting. “How did you get yours?”
Ava’s hand came out, pointing at the page.
“Yeah, that’s a bird,” I said, watching as she studied it.
“Ma ma ma.” She giggled, dragging her finger over the page.
“Well, your mother is sort of a like a bird.” My smile fell. “She likes to fly.” She likes to run.
“So, if I’m the bird, does that make you the pig?” Victoria laughed as she walked into the room. I stood, my mouth parting at her appearance. She was wearing make-up and a wine colored dress that reached just above her knees. It matched the lipstick and I longed to run my finger over it, smearing the shade across her cheek as my mouth ravaged hers.
Ava squirmed and I adjusted her in my arms as I tried to focus on Victoria. “Wow, are you going somewhere?”
She shrugged. “You had a date tonight and…well, Daniel called and asked if he could stop by to talk over a few things. I invited him to have dinner here. You don’t mind, do you? I mean, Ava will be asleep and you won’t have to see him or anything.”
Jealousy clawed at my insides. “You’re having dinner with Daniel? And he knows you’re pregnant…by me?”
“I told him. But it’s not a date, not really. Just dinner over some options he said he came up with.”
“Legal?” Flashes of the other man’s Family Practice had my lip practically snarling and I didn’t need her answer. “For Ava.”
Victoria glanced over at her. “I went to him originally to see where I stood for when I told you—”
“And then you started dating him?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “That came first. I didn’t even know what type of lawyer he was then. Devlin, let’s not do this. I have no intentions of trying to keep Ava away from you. He just wants to go over everything and see ho
w things are with me. Lorraine told him I was in the hospital. I think he’s just concerned.” She stepped forward. “Why don’t you give her to me and I’ll put her to sleep while you go get ready for your own date.”
It was getting late. Reluctantly, I handed her over.
“Da da da.” Her tiny arms came back out to me and I froze, meeting Victoria’s surprised expression. Those three words…they took my breath away. Burning once again stung my eyes and I could hardly see the beautiful little girl who stared at me like I was actually someone important. Like someone she wanted to keep around. The completion she gave me inside, I didn’t even have words for.
“That’s right,” I whispered, taking her back from Victoria. “I’m your dad.” Her tiny body rested against my chest and I started bouncing her, something I noticed she liked over the last three days. It didn’t take me long to get her to sleep that way.
Victoria’s hand rubbed down my bicep and she smiled, leaving the room. My heart still pounded in my chest and the burning in my eyes only made my throat tighten. I paced, slowly, keeping the movement that had Ava’s face burying into my neck. It didn’t take long before her soft snores filled the room, but I didn’t want to let go. Didn’t want to put her down or go on my date. I sure as hell didn’t want to leave Victoria alone with Daniel. This situation was bizarre—but I reminded myself I couldn’t be with a woman who was deceitful. At least not in that way.
Ava barely stirred as I eased her into the crib. Those full lips, just like Victoria’s, moved as if she still drank her bottle and I smiled as I watched her. It hurt to know all that I’d missed, but I had her now. That had to count for something.
I turned off the light and left her door cracked while I went across the hall to my room. Sophia’s old room. It was a decent size for what I’d brought. My clothes fit in the small closet and that was the majority of what I had piled in my car.
I grabbed a pair of a jeans and a black, button-up, long-sleeved shirt. A new date. A new woman I’d never met before. Supposedly she was into the BDSM lifestyle. I’d intended to take her to the club downtown, but something stirred inside of me. A sense of dread that made me want to pick up my phone. Dammit. I couldn’t put off another date. No matter how much I wanted. Victoria couldn’t fill my needs. So as torn as I felt, I had to keep going forward for myself.
The restroom was at the end of the hall and I went in, locking the door behind me. All of my essentials were already in place. Shampoo, soap, toothbrush. I flew through the shower routine in a daze, all of my thoughts wrapped around the two main people in my life. I ached to for them, even though they were both right here. I had both of them, but something was off. It wasn’t enough. My anger might have still been present regarding Victoria, but now it was nothing more than a nuisance in the background. I’d forgiven her too quickly and I didn’t even seem to care when I should have.
As I wrapped the towel around my waist, laughter had me pausing from wiping the steam from the mirror. I opened the door, hearing a man’s voice. A man, in my house… Nothing else registered. Not the fact that this wasn’t technically my home, or that I wasn’t dressed.
Before I could stop myself, I was walking toward the living and kitchen area. Victoria paused from cutting the lettuce and Daniel looked up from the table. A flicker of fear replaced her happiness, but I didn’t focus on her. I turned to the man who wasn’t looking at me the way he had at the diner. This stare was different. Almost…challenging.
“Beast. Interesting tattoo choice.”
I looked down at the ink on my lower stomach.
“Very nice,” he said, under his breath. The slight sarcasm had my eyes narrowing and my dislike for him growing by the second. I would have let it go had he not met my stare with something all too recognizable. Anger pounded into my chest as he didn’t break his gaze.
“Victoria seemed to think so. If I recall correctly, she liked it a lot.” My lack of control and the words I’d spoken didn’t register until after I said them. I clamped my mouth closed as hurt washed over her features. But it was more than that. Embarrassment? Betrayal?
“Excuse me.” The knife fell to the cutting board and she stepped around the counter.
What was wrong with me? Was one-upping this man more important than the emotional stability of the woman carrying my child?
She headed for her room and I stepped forward, searching for something more meaningful. Something to right my wrong. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” Fail.
“Sure you didn’t.” I heard the bedroom door shut behind her and I glanced back at Daniel, who was looking at me like the bastard I was. I had a feeling I’d walked right into his little trap and even though he appeared unfazed, he was probably laughing his ass off on the inside.
I headed for her door and he stood. “It might be best to let her cool off for a moment. You’ll just make things worse.”
“I know how to handle Victoria. Don’t you worry about that.” I opened her door without knocking and shut it behind me. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring toward the restroom. Maybe I should have gotten dressed before I came in here.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here when I got out of the shower. I overreacted.”
She looked up as I stopped in front of her. The way her eyes lingered on my tattoo, I could already feel myself getting hard. Our first night, she’d taken her time licking each letter. When she finally moved to my cock…damn, she nearly made me come within seconds.
Our eyes met, but she remained quiet.
“It won’t happen again. You have my word.” I held out my hand. “Come here.”
An eyebrow rose and she dropped her gaze to look at the hardness that pushed against the towel, only to look back up at me. God, I wanted her so much and it tore at me with the anger and jealousy I still harbored.
“Maybe not.” My hand dropped. “Your guy is waiting. Go have fun. Forget I’m even here.”
“I didn’t expect him to come early. Trust me, if I could have avoided this, I would have.”
“No, it’s fine. It had to happen at some point.” My head gestured. “Go ahead. I’ll just…” the longer I looked at her, the harder I became. Those curves and just the right amount of cleavage…only the slightest glimpse, leaving the rest to imagination. But I knew the beauty she held under that dress. And I wanted it, just as much as I ever had. “I’ll just wait in here for a bit.”
She eased to stand and took a few steps before I found myself moving in front of her. Jesus. I had to stop this. She didn’t want me! Plus, she’d lied. “Victoria…” I trailed off, not having a clue as to what I was doing. My hands itched to grab her face. To brutally kiss her and make her pay in the most delicious ways for what she’d done. The pain would push her to her limits and I knew she could take a lot. More than any other sub I’d ever had. But that was over now. She was pregnant. I had to stop this.
“Don’t.” She side stepped around me and I fisted my hands so I couldn’t reach back toward her. My mouth wasn’t controllable. Not with her. “I think you owe me something for what you’ve done.”
Her dark hair flew over her shoulder as she spun to look back at me. “I’m not a prostitute, Devlin. I’m not paying for my sins through sex. If you want that, you, more than anyone, should know where to go to find one.” She slammed the door on her way out and I sunk into the bed, once again lowering myself down to bastard level.
Minutes went by and the sound of laughter eventually began again. My blood raced while I seethed. It was the perfect ingredient to the cock-kill I’d been waiting for. I stalked from her bedroom, glaring at the lawyer as he looked up from over her shoulder. Papers lay on the table and I almost beelined to see what in the hell they were. Instead, I kept my eyes on him until I was out of sight. He was leaning over her shoulder. Perfect view to see down her God damn dress. I grabbed my clothes, putting them on. If I didn’t get out of here, all hell was going to break loose.
My shoes were b
y the bed and I slid them on, stopping in the restroom to fix my hair. It didn’t take long. Cologne misted around me and I stepped into it on the way out of the door. My keys were on the kitchen counter. I couldn’t stand the thought of going back in there, but I didn’t have much of a choice.
“If you’ll see right here,” Daniel stopped, looking up at me as I entered.
“What’s that?” I glanced over, having no intention of stopping until I saw the practice’s name at the top. I moved in closer. Victoria’s hands left the table to rest in her lap. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her shifting nervously.
The top was filled with big words, but it didn’t take me long to catch on to what I was looking at. “You’re trying to get her to move this to the courts?” I picked up the papers and burst out laughing. “A paternity test for child support. You can’t be serious?” My attention went to Victoria. “You want to do this? Go through the courts? You sure about that? I told you where I stand. Ava will be mine. And that one,” I said, pointing to her stomach. “Mine.” Fuck, if I didn’t want to tell that son of a bitch that she was mine too. Anger had left long ago and I was now bordering damn near hostile rage. This piece of shit was trying to turn her against me.
“They’re just suggestions. I haven’t decided to do anything,” she said, lowly.
“Nor will you. We’re in this together. Me and you. We decide what happens with our children. No lawyer is going to try to change that.” I grabbed my keys, tearing the papers in half. “There are your options, Daniel.” I tossed them on the table, watching them scatter.
“I’m not mad at you,” I said, turning my attention to Victoria. “But remember, you come to me first before you decide anything. We’ll work this out together.” My lips pressed against her cheek and I brought her face up to look at me. “Me and you.”
Dom Fever (Devlin Black #2) Page 4