Timeless

by Lucinda Franks

  I fold my arms. “Hmm, I don’t steal road signs, but otherwise I think I do the job for you. I’m your surrogate. There’s an impetuous man hiding in you, and that’s why you got me the hot rod, even though it cost so much money; it’s why you call it the red devil. You have a crush on this car!”

  He chuckles. “I do like the car.”

  We sit and watch the golden glow of the sun’s last light, the crows spiraling and the hawks gliding high above the trees. I am somber, thinking about how it has taken me three decades to come to terms with the nature of the husband whose nature I deliberately chose.

  I think of all the hard work ahead of us, the mindfulness, the concentration, the biting edge of angry exchanges as we change.

  The language of love, so different for each of us and for each of us so hard to grasp, to translate. The discipline it will take to understand the nuances, the shades of our desire, to recognize and truly feel our divergent expressions of intimacy.

  I know that Bob, no matter what his age, no matter how distant he was raised to be, craves love as much as I do and that he needs me to love him—not in my way, but in his. My mission is to find the oblique paths to his heart. Which offerings, which gifts, will relieve his pressure, will please him, will bring out the depth of his feelings.

  I must recognize his own gifts to me. He may not speak the words I expect or want, but I will know that what means little to me often means everything to him.

  When he arrives home in the evenings, I will never again dismiss or, being busy, pretend not to hear him call, “Where’s Lucinda?” This is his way of locating his love by locating me; he seeks only to be beside me. I will expand my definition of love, watch for the things I once ignored: the glow of acceptance in his eyes; the electricity of his touch as he intentionally brushes against me; the shiver of pleasure I could feel when he runs the tips of his fingers down my hand.

  And if, in the end, I myself should need more from him, now I am certain it’s only for the asking.

  * * *

  I have a strange sense of rising into the air, as I did when I was a child, praying. One day, here on this soil, you will be taken to a place inside me where death cannot reach you. I feel the deepness and the timelessness of our love, the certainty that it expands beyond our physical selves, that it exists outside us, a current coursing through the lives of the ones who love us. We pass its spiritual power on to them. It will be there when we are gone.

  * * *

  “Maxwelton braes are bonnie!” Bob has suddenly broken into song with the Scottish ballad I love most. His rich baritone has a completely new vibrato, and never has he sung so in tune, his voice soaring, a new voice that has left behind the two or three good notes he had before: “Where early fa’s the dew!”

  As his chest expands, as he lifts his chin and lets forth the almighty “A-a-a-n … nie Laurie,” the highest and grandest of sounds in the ballad, goose bumps come up on my arm. His voice is so heartrending and his delivery so amusing I want to cry.

  Now he takes up “Loch Lomond,” and I warble a descant. We drive past the perfect rectangular fields, hay brown, sage, burnt umber; the apple trees, some of them shedding their leaves. Ahead, by the barn, we see Josh talking to Rowan, a jaunty Jamaican who’s one of my favorite orchard workers. They’re smiling, and we slow up to wave to them. As we pass, I can just hear Rowan saying, “There goes Romeo and Juliet.”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I want to thank the people who gave their time and energy to help shape this memoir: Sarah Crichton believed in the book from the start and expertly guided it through the thorny thickets of revisions, more revisions, final revisions, and at last, production and publication; Rob Weisbach, superb agent and editor, gently coaxed me to think more deeply about relationships, to locate the reality behind the reality; Lila Meade, my editorial assistant, worked tirelessly until she virtually lived the book; Laura Pancucci made me see truth where there was illusion and feelings where there were just facts.

  Elaine Markson, my former agent and a beautiful person, took me through three decades of writing and publishing. Ruth Gibson illuminated my understanding of spirituality.

  Blair Brown Hoyt, editor, Jill Comins, therapist, and Pat Bryne Cosentino, poet, shared their talent and friendship. The wonderful writers Fran Klagsbrun, Hilma Wolitzer, and Wendy Gimbel helped me usher the book into the world.

  Carolyn Hessel, head of the Jewish Book Council, has given me confidence and endless support.

  The inimitable Ida Van Lindt, my husband’s secretary, provided me with much material, as did the lightning-quick Marilyn Bauza.

  Susan Morgenthau, my much-loved daughter-in-law, who is a trustee of the New York Public Library, gave me welcome insight, as did Holly Hollingsworth, my opera comrade.

  Laurie Lowenthal, Sarah Morgenthau, Ellie Hirschhorn, Sage Sevilla, and Henry Morgenthau III provided me with introductions and inspiration. Pierre Romain, film producer, advised me on any number of issues.

  Victor Temkin talked to me many times and at length about Bob, as did Pat Dugan and Peter Kougasian.

  Chris O’Connor, Marina and Steve Kaufman, Soma Golden Behr, Alex Hoyt, Andrew Meade, and Howard Stein were there to give me ideas and moral support. Emily Strasser and Robyn Yzelman helped with the nuts and bolts.

  My gratitude to the patient and indefatigable FSG team: Laury Frieber, the excellent lawyer; Lottchen Shivers, my publicist; Jenny Carrow and Maureen Bishop of the art department; Susan Goldfarb and Nina Frieman in production; Jonathan Lippincott, the designer; and Marsha Sasmor, Sarah Crichton’s invaluable editorial assistant.

  I owe a special thanks to the two men who influenced me, coming as they did from a different time and a different place: William Gifford, the first professor who convinced me that my passion for words could tease out my ability, and Edward Hoagland, the nature writer, who taught me my first valuable lesson as a writer: always keep a journal in your pocket.

  INDEX

  The index that appears in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your e-book. Please use the search function on your e-reading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.

  Abate, Catherine

  Abdel-Rahman, Omar

  Abedi, Agha Hasan

  A Coney Island of the Mind (Ferlinghetti)

  Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud

  Alcott, Louisa May

  Alpert, Jane

  al-Qaeda

  Alsop, Joseph

  America First Committee

  American Agriculturist

  Amherst College

  An American Tragedy (Dreiser)

  Anarchist Club

  Anderson, Gene

  Arafat, Yasser

  Arens, Moshe

  Arnold, Marty

  Asch, Sidney

  Astor, Brooke

  Baez, Joan

  Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI)

  Bauer, USS

  Beame, Abe

  Bechtel Corporation

  Begin, Menachem

  Belfast

  Black Panthers

  Bloomberg, Michael

  Blum, John Morton

  Blum, Jack

  Bondi, Andre

  Bondi, Lea

  Boston Globe

  Bradley, Ed

  Breasted, Mary

  Brokaw, Tom

  Brookings Institution

  Brown, Tina

  Buckley, Charlie

  Buckley, Sen. James L.

  Buckley, William F.

  Burroughs, William

  Cabey, Darrell

  Cambodia

  Cambridge (Mass.)

  Cardozo, Benjamin Nathan

  Carey, Gov. Hugh

  Carlisle, Kitty

  Carroll, Mickey

  Carter, Jimmy

  Castleman, Dan

  Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

  Cherry Lane Theatre

  Chomsky, No
am

  Children’s Hour, The (Hellman)

  Churchill, Winston

  Clinton, Bill

  Clinton, Hillary

  Coffin, William Sloane

  Cohn, Roy

  Cole, USS

  Comins, Jill

  Commentary

  Communist Manifesto, The, (Marx and Engels)

  Conboy, Ken

  Congress of Racial Equality (CORE)

  Connor, Christine

  Cooke, Alistair

  Cooke, Lawrence

  Cornell University

  Corrigan, Mairead

  Credit Suisse

  Crewdson, John

  Crowley, Candy

  Cuomo, Gov. Andrew

  Cuomo, Gov. Mario

  Curley, James Michael

  Cunningham, Michael

  Daily Beast, The

  Dan, Uri

  Deerfield Academy

  Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA)

  DeLuca, Giorgio

  Democratic Committee Women’s Division

  Derry (Northern Ireland)

  De Sapio, Carmine

  Diana, Princess of Wales

  Doyle, Mark

  Dreiser, Theodore

  Dugan, Pat

  Dylan, Bob

  Eichmann, Adolf

  Eitan, Rafi

  Ellison, Nancy

  Emerson, Gloria

  est

  Fairstein, Linda

  Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

  Feldman, Justin

  Ferlinghetti, Lawrence

  Fleischer, Ellen

  Food and Drug Administration (FDA)

  Ford, Gerald

  Fortas, Abe

  Fosburgh, Lacey

  Fraiman, Arnold

  Franklin National Bank

  Franks, Lorraine; and cancer treatments

  Franks, Lucinda: association with radicals; and breast cancer; childhood; first pregnancy of; and Hillary Clinton interview; hired by New York Times; in London; at MacDowell Colony; and marital strain; in Northern Ireland; and Pulitzer Prize; quits New York Times; radicalism of; relationship with father; relationship with mother; relationship with Uncle Billy; at Seabrook protest; at Vassar; and Watergate reporting; and writer’s block; writes book about father

  Franks, Penelope (Penny)

  Franks, Thomas; death of; and wartime experience

  Freeh, Louis

  Fresh Air Fund

  Friedan, Betty

  Friedman, Karen

  Friedman, Stanley M.

  Furstenberg, Diane Von, see Von Furstenberg, Diane

  Gage, Nicholas

  Gelb, Arthur

  Gelb, Barbara

  Georgiou, Renos

  Georgiou, Steve

  Germany Is Our Problem

  Gestalt

  Gifford, Bill

  Gill, Jim

  Gimbel, Wendy

  Ginsberg, Allen

  Giuliani, Rudolph

  Goetz, Bernhard

  Goldberg, Arthur

  Goldsworthy, Andy

  Good Eggs

  Graiver, David

  Grand, Anne Morgethau, see Morgenthau, Anne

  Grand, Hilary

  Grand, Noah

  Grand, Paul

  Greenfield, Jimmy

  Gribetz, Judah

  Guardian Angels

  Haig, Alexander

  Haines, George

  Hanauer, Linda

  Harris, Ben

  Harry F. Bauer, USS

  Harvard University

  Haskell, Molly

  Hays, Rep. Wayne

  Healey, Jim

  Hearst, Patty

  Hellman, Lillian

  Hepburn, Katherine

  Hersey, John

  Herzog, Chaim

  High, Stanley

  Hirsch, Marcelle Puthon, see Morgenthau, Marcelle Puthon Hirsch

  Hirschhorn, Elizabeth

  Hitler, Adolf

  Hoffman, Abbie

  Hoffman, Nicholas von, see von Hoffman, Nicholas

  Hoyt, Blair

  Hull, Cordell

  Hunter-Gault, Charlayne

  Hylton, Renia; death of

  Innocence Project

  Irish Republican Army (IRA)

  Ivins, Molly

  Izvestia

  Jensen, Greg

  Jensen, Irona

  John Birch Society

  John Paul II, Pope

  Johnson, Rob

  Johnson, Lyndon

  Junior League

  Kahan Commission

  Kahane, Meir

  Kaufman, Marina

  Kaufman, Steve

  Kelly, Ray

  Kennedy, Edward

  Kennedy, Jacqueline, see Onassis, Jacqueline Kennedy

  Kennedy, John F.

  Kennedy, John F., Jr.

  Kennedy, Robert

  Kerry, Sen. John

  Kimes, Kenneth

  Kimes, Sante

  Kindler, Jim

  King, Martin Luther, Jr.

  King, Stanley

  Kissinger, Henry

  Koch, Ed

  Kollek, Teddy

  Kougasian, Peter

  Kozlowski

  Kropotkin, Pyotr

  Lahey Clinic

  Lang, Dan

  Lang, Margie

  Lansdale, USS

  Lauder, Ronald

  Law & Order (TV show)

  Lawe, USS

  Lee, Hanmin

  Lehman, Herbert

  Lehman, Irving

  Lehmann-Haupt, Christopher

  Lelyveld, Joe

  Lend-Lease Act

  Leneman, Nan

  Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich

  Lewis, C. S.

  Leopold Museum

  Leval, Pierre

  Leval, Susana

  Levin, Gerald

  Levin, Jonathan

  Lewinsky, Monica

  Lewis, Anthony

  Liman, Arthur

  Lipton, Martin

  Little Women (Alcott)

  Lloyd’s of London

  Looking for Mr. Goodbar (Rossner)

  Lowey, Nita M.

  Lukas, J. Anthony

  Madoff, Bernard

  MacDowell Colony

  Mailer, Norman

  Malamud, Bernard

  Malkin, Peter

  Marcuse, Herbert

  Marshall, Tony

  Mason, C. Vernon

  Maybe (Hellman)

  Meade, Lila

  Meir, Golda

  Memorial Sloan-Kettering

  Messinger, Ruth

  Milford, Nancy

  Millett, Kate

  Mohammed, Khalid Sheikh

  Mollo, Sil

  Montebello, Philippe de

  Morgenthau Diaries (Blum)

  Morgenthau, Amy Elinor; assessment of father

  Morgenthau, Anne; relationship with Franks; and father’s marriage to Franks

  Morgenthau, Barbara; and father’s marriage to Franks; and mother’s death; relationship with Franks

  Morgenthau, Bobby; and father’s marriage to Franks; relationship with Franks; weds Susan Moore

  Morgenthau, Elinor (daughter)

  Morgenthau, Elinor (mother)

  Morgenthau, Harry

  Morgenthau, Henry

  Morgenthau, Henry, Jr.

  Morgenthau, Henry III

  Morgenthau, Jenny; and father’s marriage to Franks; and relationship with Franks

  Morgenthau, Joan

  Morgenthau, Joshua Franks; and family farm

  Morgenthau, Martha

  Morgenthau, Martha Pattridge; and cancer

  Morgenthau, Marcelle Puthon Hirsch

  Morgenthau Plan

  Morgenthau, Robert: appointed U.S. Attorney; and BCCI case; and Bernhard Goetz case; boat trip with Franks; and Brooke Astor elder abuse case; and Central Park jogger case; childhood of; dates Franks; on death penalty; and “DNA footprint” case; elected district attorney of New York County; family disapproval of relationship with Franks; and f
amily farm; fired by Nixon; first date with Franks; first marriage; Greece trip with Franks; hearing problems; honeymoon with Franks; on Israel; Israel trips with Franks; marital strain; meets Franks; gubernatorial campaigns; on immigration reform; and Judge Lawrence Cooke case; and Kimes murder case; and Mafia; and melanoma; and Museum of Jewish Heritage; and Nazi stolen art cases; Portugal trip with Franks; and post-traumatic stress disorder; and rape law reform; reelection campaigns; relationship with father; relationship with mother; retires; on Ronald Reagan; and Roy Cohn investigation; and September 11 attacks; and service in World War II; as source for Franks’s reporting; weds Franks; with Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz; and white-collar crime

  Morgenthau, Susan Moore

  Morrissey, Francis X.

  Mostly Morgenthaus (H. Morgenthau III)

  Moscow, John

  Museum of Jewish Heritage

  Museum of Modern Art (MoMA)

  My Father’s Secret War (Franks)

  Nemerov, Howard

  Nerissa (housekeeper)

  Newfield, Jack

  Newsweek

  New York Daily News

  New Yorker, The

  New York Observer

  New York Times

  Nidal, Abu

  Nixon, Richard; and Watergate

  Norton, Larry

  Nosair, El Sayyid

  nuclear power, protests against

  Oakes, John

  Oakes, Margery

  Obama, Barack

  Oates, Joyce Carol

  O’Connor, John Cardinal

  Office of Civilian Defense

  Oggi

  Onassis, Jacqueline Kennedy

  Oughton, Diana

  Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO)

  Pancucci, Laura

  Pataki, Gov. George

  Paterson, Gov. David

  Patman, Wright

  Patterson, Hon. Robert

  Paul Hamilton, USS

  Pius XII, Pope

  Plimpton, Mrs. Francis T. P.

  Plimpton, George

  Power, Katherine Ann

  Powers, Thomas

  Raines, Howell

  Rangel, Alma

  Rangel, Rep. Charlie

  Ray, Elizabeth

  Reagan, Nancy

  Reagan, Ronald

  Redford, Robert

  Reeves, Richard

  Renta, Annette de la

  Reyes, Matias

  Robinson, Edward G.

  Roche, Kevin

  Rockefeller, David

  Rockefeller, Nelson

  Rolling Stone

  Rollnick, Bill

  Roosevelt, Eleanor

  Roosevelt, Elliott

  Roosevelt, Franklin Delano

  Roosevelt, Franklin Delano, Jr.

  Rosenthal, Abe

  Ross, Steve

  Rossner, Judith