Deliciously Sinful

by Lilli Feisty

  Maybe she thought Nick was going to ring her up for a late-night booty call.

  Maybe Nick was already making pudding. Creamy, chocolate pudding, all mixed up and ready to spread on Sherry’s flawless pale skin.

  The woman lived in Southern California, for goodness’ sake. Shouldn’t she be all tanned and wrinkly? But no-o-o-o. This Sherry had skin as perfect as an untouchable white cloud.

  Shaking her head, Phoebe pulled out another mug and turned on the gas stove to heat the kettle. She wore her same old flannel nightgown and old beat-up slippers. Her stomach turned. This woman—Sherry—was what Nick was used to. So why had he gone after Phoebe? It made no sense.

  “He doesn’t make sense.”

  Phoebe nearly dropped the box of chamomile tea she’d just lifted out of a basket on the counter.

  Glancing at Sherry, Phoebe said, “What?”

  Sherry gave her an impish smile. “Nick.”

  “W-what makes you say that?”

  She smiled. “He’s just a bit confusing at times.”

  Remembering the way Nick had split after their earlier romp in the restroom, Phoebe had to laugh. “Yeah. I’m getting that about him.”

  Sherry rested her chin on her hand. “He’s afraid.”

  “Afraid? He seems so confident.” But then she remembered the look on his face as he’d fled from her.

  “It’s just a front, a facade,” Sherry said.

  Phoebe placed the tea bag in a mug and filled the cup with hot water. “I imagine he needs to be strong for his job.”

  Sherry looked thoughtful. “There’s definitely that aspect of it. But there’s more.”

  Phoebe crossed the kitchen and set the steaming cup of tea on the table. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want to say too much. I mean, you are his boss and everything.”

  “Right,” Phoebe said, slowly taking a seat opposite Sherry. There was that little fact of her employing the subject of their conversation. But she wanted to know more about him.

  She wanted to know everything.

  Shaking her head, Phoebe tried not to pry.

  And didn’t succeed. “You don’t have to share anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” She rubbed her fingertip across a scratch in the table. “But. If there’s something you think would help me do my job better…please, feel free.” Right, Pheebs. You want to know all about Nick so you can do your job better. Would Sherry buy it?

  And anyway, she didn’t want to know! “Never mind.”

  “No, it’s okay. Anything to help you handle Nick.” Sherry paused and then said, “I’ll just say he’s not as tough as he puts on. He’s had a…”

  Phoebe looked up. “Yes?” she encouraged. “A what?”

  “A hard life. He’s been through a lot.”

  “A hard life? It seemed like he had it all in L.A. He makes it sound like he had the perfect life.”

  Sherry sipped her tea. “On the surface, he did. He had a high-profile job, a great income, and any girl he wanted. And I do mean any girl.”

  Phoebe coughed. “Right. Any girl. Great job. So what was the problem?” She really did not need to hear all about Nick’s escapades and his perfect girls.

  “It was superficial. He lives his life trying to get out of his own head. Alcohol, parties, sex…It’s all a distraction so he doesn’t have to deal with what’s in here.” Sherry touched one red fingertip to her temple.

  Phoebe stared at Sherry. “What do you mean?” And was he having sex with Phoebe just because he needed the distraction?

  Sherry shook her head. “I’ve already said too much. I guess what I was really getting at is, I think this move has been good for him.”

  Phoebe laughed. “All he does is complain. He’s bored here. He hates the people. Heck, he hates everything about it. I have no idea why he took this job.” She took a large gulp of cold tea. “Other than the fact that no one else would hire him, of course.”

  “You’re right about that. No one wanted him. And I think that was the hardest thing for him to handle. Being dismissed so easily…It ripped him apart.”

  “But he’s amazing at what he does!”

  Sherry shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. There are a lot of talented chefs in that town, always someone ready to take your place. Yes, Nick is good at what he does. But he doesn’t know how to leash himself. And it all went to his head.”

  Phoebe continued tracing the line on the table. Finally, she looked up into Sherry’s big blue eyes. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

  Sherry smiled, a small spread of her perfect lips. “Because I don’t want Nick to fuck this up.” She waved around the kitchen. “This is good for him. It’s forcing him to take a break from all that craziness. It’s making him get some perspective. Get back on track.”

  Phoebe glanced up sharply. “What do you mean, get back on track?”

  Sherry shrugged one satin-clad shoulder. “You know. Get his life back in order.”

  “And then what?” For some reason this conversation was making something in Phoebe go cold. “And then what happens?”

  Sherry’s blue eyes searched hers. “I…I don’t know.” Picking up her still-full mug, she stood. “I’m sorry. It’s late. I’ve been driving all day.” She laughed, but it sounded falsely light. “I never know when to shut up.”

  Phoebe watched the other woman take the damp tea bag out of the mug and toss it into the garbage. Why had this conversation left her feeling as if she were missing some piece of the puzzle?

  “Sherry, I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

  Sherry dumped the amber liquid into the sink. “Nothing. I’m sorry.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I was just trying to say I think this entire experience is good for Nick.” She punctuated her statement with a smile that Phoebe was sure was meant to be reassuring.

  It wasn’t.

  Phoebe stood. “This experience? Like does he think this is summer camp or something? Are his parents going to pick him up at the end of three months?”

  She didn’t miss the way Sherry’s shoulders clenched at Phoebe’s statement. But then, turning, Sherry’s big blue eyes looked worried. “No, of course not. Please, don’t read too much into what I said. I honestly don’t know what I’m talking about.”

  Phoebe didn’t understand why panic was rushing through her. She pushed the chair she’d been sitting in under the table. “I just want to know. Are you saying Nick is simply here on some sort of hiatus?” Phoebe knew their contract was a year at least. It took a lot of work to train someone; she didn’t want to do this again in less than a year. She’d barely gotten to the point where she felt she could leave Nick in the café without any supervision.

  And it was more. There was a part of her that had been opening up to him. Starting to trust him. Starting to like him. Not romantically, of course, but she was gaining glimpses into the good side of him, and she didn’t want it to be false. If he really was planning on simply using her and the café—the thought made her heart hurt.

  Phoebe said, “I just want to know if he has something else planned. I mean, I’ve been spending a lot of time training him. To, you know, run the kitchen. Be the chef at the restaurant. To learn the fixed-price menu on Saturday night…” She sounded pathetic. She sounded needy. She sounded like all the things she hated.

  Sherry was backing out of the kitchen, her satin gown whispering against the hardwood floor as she glided away in retreat. “I know you have. Like I said, I don’t know what I’m saying. Just forget everything. Nick is doing great here!”

  She sounded so enthusiastic that Phoebe wanted to vomit.

  “So, thanks, Phoebe. I’m just going back to bed now.”

  Phoebe put her hands on her hips and faked a smile. “You do that.”

  “Okay. Yeah, I will.” Sherry nodded. “Oh, and thanks again. You know, for the tea.”

  “Anytime,” Phoebe muttered. Yeah, any time you’re up in the wee hours of the morning, I’ll be here! Ju
st waiting to make you some organic chamomile!

  Still walking backward, Sherry said, “It was really good. The tea, that is.”

  “Thanks. It’s, um, organic.”

  “I can tell! Okay, then. Night.”

  “Night.”

  And then Sherry was gone, disappearing into the darkness of the hallway like some sort of gorgeous blonde phantom.

  Phoebe stared after her. In the quiet of the kitchen, she replayed their conversation. Her head swam with everything Sherry had said. Obviously, she knew Nick wouldn’t be in Redbolt forever. But was he just here biding time? Was he simply putting up with them until something better came along?

  Was he putting up with her until something better came along?

  No. He wouldn’t do that. Phoebe put the cups in the dishwasher and shuffled out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and back to her room.

  Still, she couldn’t stop the questions going through her head. Why had Sherry come here? Why had she appeared in the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning to put these ideas in her head?

  Then another thought occurred to her. Phoebe did not like Steve’s response to Sherry, not one bit. Sure, she’d hoped Steve would eventually find a partner, someone to replace Judy, Phoebe’s sister. Phoebe’d always thought the phrase “God brings his angels home early” was definitely appropriate when it came to her sister. Judy had been kindhearted, generous—always welcoming people into their home for supper. She’d carried Jesse in a sling for two years and had loved her unconditionally. Her death had been a tragedy, a loss for the entire community. No one would ever replace her.

  Especially not some starlet from Southern California.

  Phoebe’s stomach turned at the idea of someone like Sherry coming into the family.

  He’s only just met her tonight. You’re being ridiculous.

  Yeah, the idea of getting worried when they’d only met the woman once might seem a bit preposterous. However, since Judy had died five years ago, Steve had never, not once, responded to a woman like Phoebe had seen him do tonight.

  With Sherry. Nick’s girlfriend or ex-girlfriend or whatever she was.

  It was amazing how one person could have such an effect on so many of Phoebe’s emotions. A Buddhist quote she had printed out and pinned up in her office flashed across her mind:

  A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another, it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.

  Harmony. She needed to keep her family in harmony, and suddenly everything seemed anything but harmonious. And why? Because of Nick and Sherry? Phoebe laughed bitterly in the darkness. They weren’t family—why was she allowing them to affect her? And why was Sherry sleeping under their roof, when she saw the effect she’d had on Steve?

  Because Phoebe had acted on fear and jealousy. She knew these emotions were unproductive and damaging, and she had the power and wisdom to overcome them.

  So far she’d failed at following Zen instead of flying off the handle. She’d allowed the negative thoughts and emotions to guide her decisions, and she had to let them go.

  Nick had Jesse cooking meat. And despite how she’d defended Steve, she did know he wouldn’t be happy about it. Even if Phoebe thought Jesse should have the choice of cooking whatever she wanted, she did know it would upset her brother-in-law, whether he admitted it or not. And Jesse probably hadn’t noticed, but Phoebe had observed her niece watching Nick like he was some sort of hero. Her niece was blossoming, and a true love of cooking, of food, was surfacing in a way Phoebe couldn’t deny. Jesse hadn’t had quite that spark in her eye when she was in the café before Nick had arrived. However, every day Phoebe watched Jesse’s skill improve, and her confidence grow.

  A thought occurred to her. Maybe if Nick did leave, perhaps Jesse would want to take over the café. The thought resonated in Phoebe’s mind, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Jesse was going to be a responsible, smart woman, capable of being in charge of a business. She’d been working for Phoebe, at the farm and at the café, for years.

  The more she pondered the thought, the happier Phoebe became. It was perfect, really. She’d allow Nick to train Jesse in the hopes Jesse would one day take over the café. Then if Nick left (and she knew one day he surely would), the Green Leaf would be successful and still kept within the family. Harmonious.

  But, at the moment, nothing was harmonious. She’d been shoving questions and uncertainties to the back of her mind ever since Nick had arrived. She hadn’t wanted to seriously consider them, but that damn blonde bombshell had thrown them in her face.

  Phoebe crossed the room straight to her bed and fell onto the soft mattress. Through her open window, the moonlight illuminated the glow-in-the-dark stars she’d pasted to the ceiling when she’d been just a girl.

  Just a girl. Had she ever been that? Just a girl. Maybe once…

  Her parents had died when she was fourteen and her sister was seventeen. Their aunt and uncle had taken them in, but Phoebe had always felt as if she’d taken over the role of parent.

  Her relatives were kind, generous, and supportive. But they hadn’t been ready to take on the responsibility of two teenage girls. Ironically, they’d been so busy with the restaurant that there was never any food in the house for Phoebe or her sister. Her aunt and uncle would bring home delicious leftovers. Phoebe and her sister went many a night hungry, eagerly waiting for their guardians to arrive home with the food.

  Organic quiches, quinoa salads, tempeh lasagna…The girls had truly obtained a palate for gourmet food, thanks to their aunt and uncle.

  And then Phoebe had discovered the garden. One afternoon, after school, she’d wandered into the weeds and plopped down under the sun. It was the first day in weeks that the fog hadn’t been looming over the area like the lid of a coffin, smothering everything. No one was home, and instead of going inside the house and doing homework or making dinner, she’d meandered into the fenced-in, overgrown garden and allowed herself a moment of peace.

  Just one moment, she’d told herself.

  But then, as she reclined back on her elbows, she’d glanced over and seen a leafy green plant that somehow differed from all the weeds and wildflowers surrounding her. She reached over and pulled the feathery plant out of the dirt. It was a carrot.

  She wiped the dirt off and stared at the root vegetable. She’d pulled that plant out of the ground. She’d extracted something that had meaning. It wasn’t just a useless weed; it was food. And as she stared at that carrot, she felt a sense of accomplishment as never before.

  It made no sense. But the next thing she knew, she was on her knees, crawling through the overgrown mess of the garden, tugging out random plants.

  It didn’t take long. Soon she knew what leaves could be pulled to produce carrots, and there were more. She found celery and fennel. Basil and cilantro. And as she pulled out every plant, it brought a memory.

  Her mother had gardened. She’d helped her mom when she was very little, and as she crept through the dirt, it was as if her mom were right there next to her. They’d sow and nurture, watching things grow. And every seed turned into something that ended up on the dinner table.

  So many memories…Everything came back in a rush. It was too much. She started digging. She plowed into the earth with her bare hands, and before she knew it, she had an entire pile of vegetables and herbs.

  Covered in dirt, she’d brought that pile of food into the very kitchen beneath which she currently slept.

  Her straight-A report cards, her soccer trophies—none of those things compared to the sense of pride that filled her chest simply by looking at a pile of produce she’d discovered in the long-ignored garden.

  That summer, she worked every day in that plot of earth. She spent hours at the local garden center, learning about what would grow the best. She came home with packets of seeds
, mulch, and fertilizer. By the time fall came, she was harvesting enough produce for her aunt and uncle to start putting the food Phoebe grew on her aunt and uncle’s menu.

  Sadly, unlike her mother, Phoebe had little talent when it came to turning the food she’d created into anything edible. Still, her lack of culinary skills didn’t detract from her newfound love of gardening. She just needed someone else to actually prepare the results of her labor.

  Like Nick did. The things he could do with food. When she pictured him in the kitchen, deftly slicing onions and mincing garlic…

  It sent a shiver through her.

  Why? Why did she find his skills so attractive? Sometimes, when he threw a handful of herbs into a sauté pan, she became fixated on his arms. Just fixated. She loved watching his tight muscles flex. She loved looking at the veins that ran in stiff cords beneath his skin. She loved the little mole he had on his right biceps.

  But most of all, she loved watching him turn simple food into something so delicious, the simple scent of his cooking made her mouth water.

  And then there was the sex. She flopped over and pulled her pillow over her head. She could not believe that she’d succumbed to Nick’s advances. She couldn’t believe she’d had sex—against a door, and in a bathroom—with her employee.

  It had to stop. She wouldn’t do it again.

  Nope.

  Never.

  She wouldn’t even think about it.

  But what had happened when he’d spanked her? It had hurt and yet it had exhilarated her. The pain had made her feel as if she were flying. Skydiving.

  It was fun and naughty, and she loved every little minute of it.

  Loved it too much. She couldn’t believe she’d actually smoked part of Nick’s cigarette. It scared her. The whole thing—the café, the forest, his kitchen. As much as she knew every part of it was wrong, she couldn’t help the little smile that came over her when she thought about so many of their interactions.

  He made her heart race with excitement. And with fear. Because she couldn’t deny the fact that her feelings for Nick were a mixed bag. It wasn’t just attraction. She kept getting these little glimpses of him that drew her to him as a person. She found herself wanting to get to know him better. Sometimes, she actually enjoyed her time with him. Sometimes, these flashes shot through her brain of what it could be like if she decided to actually have a relationship.