Karma

by Barbara Huffert

  “What do I do if it shows? She cringed at my hand earlier and I don’t know if I hid my reaction completely or not.”

  “It’s not about hiding your reactions. You have to learn to understand hers so well that you’re truly not hurt. When in doubt, extend the invitation to talk but make it clear Abby gets to set the boundaries.” Alex urged him toward Abby. “Enough other people have left now. You can go too without seeming like you’re anxious to be alone.”

  “No wonder Brett is such a good guy. Thanks again, Alex.” Jesse was sure he’d take advantage of this generosity many times in the future.

  * * * * *

  Jesse and Abby stood in the diner parking lot with his family. When the other nearby cars left, Frank interrupted their light banter and turned serious.

  “Abby, please let me apologize for my behavior. I overreacted and formed conclusions that, if I’d thought at all, I would have known were ridiculous.” Frank kept his voice soft. “I could see how interested Wyatt was when I mentioned that you knew what Harry put in our dinner that night.”

  “And I’m sorry too.” Holly spoke in her best pediatrician-calming-a-nervous-child voice. “I saw my cousin glaring at my brother and I jumped in, just like when we were kids. Please don’t hold our lack of manners and common sense against Jesse. If you give us a chance, we’ll show you that we really are a close, caring bunch.”

  “Okay,” Abby agreed, with the smile still pasted on her face.

  Dwayne’s chuckle broke the quiet tone. “Don’t get me wrong, Abby. This family is closer than most and they do care deeply. I’m sure they have every intention of making nice next time we get together. Just don’t be surprised when they can’t manage it. Ever since the first time Holly included me in a family gathering, I’ve noticed that they are a boisterous group. But, even when they’re arguing, you can still see how much they care about each other.”

  “I think Abby gets the picture.” Jesse cut off a lengthy discussion of past family gatherings.

  Shelby stepped forward and took one of Abby’s hands. “We really should start for home. I have to finish my column on Frank’s night out with the boys and I know Dwayne and Holly both have early mornings tomorrow. We meant it earlier when we said we wouldn’t become pests but I hope we get to see you again soon.”

  “I have no right to ask this, but since I already blew any chance at appearing dignified…” Holly took the hand Shelby released. “Please, please, please let me be there when Jesse introduces you to Uncle Adam. He and Dad will positively drool when they see you.”

  “Why?” Abby saw how the others hid their grins.

  Jesse groaned. “I told you about our family vacations to Old West reenactments. I neglected to tell you how enthusiastic my dad and uncle will be to include you. Holly’s right. They will drool. Bet it takes them less than ten minutes of polite conversation before they innocently ask if you could picture yourself as a saloon girl.”

  “A saloon girl?”

  “Let me, Jess,” Frank said. “Abby already saw me at my worst. I’ll just be blunt, okay?” She nodded. “Dad and Uncle Nick will see you in one of those low-cut dresses that make it seem as if you’re about to fall out the top. I’m sure my brother would have warned you before you met them and I know they would have tried not to stare too openly but Jesse wasn’t exaggerating at how long it would take them to steer the conversation to their favorite subject.”

  “See what I mean, Abby?” Dwayne gave Holly’s hand a tug. “We intended to apologize and retreat before we made things worse. Instead, we probably made you dread seeing us again.”

  “Um, no.” Abby couldn’t believe they were just talking about how Jesse’s father and uncle would like her cleavage.

  “Dwayne’s right,” Holly agreed. “It is time for us to go. Come on, Wyatt.”

  “I’m riding back with Frank and Shelby,” Wyatt announced.

  Holly visibly refrained from commenting as Dwayne urged her into their car. Even though she clearly understood her brother and cousin needed to talk, she was obviously the one used to stepping between them.

  “Want a ride?” Frank asked.

  “No thanks,” Jesse replied for both of them. “It’s a nice night so I think we’ll walk.”

  “Right.” Frank frowned slightly. “Call us soon.”

  Wyatt waited for Frank and Shelby to get in before he turned to Abby. “Sorry again. We’ll be over it before we’re halfway home. Frank wouldn’t be Frank if he weren’t picking at me over something.” When Abby looked doubtful, he continued, “Jess’ll tell you. I’m glad you married him. Once everything calms down, I’d like to spend some time with you. I promise any questions I have are personal interest only.”

  Abby surprised both men when she hugged Wyatt to her. “Thanks.” She kissed his cheek. “I think I’d like that.”

  Wyatt was still blushing as Frank drove away.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Jesse seemed to be waiting for Abby to say something. When she didn’t, he took a step toward the street. “I hope it’s okay that I said we’d walk. I thought we could avoid the whole question of inviting them in for coffee. If you don’t mind, we’ll take a different route back so you can see some more of the town.”

  Abby walked silently beside him for the first block. Jesse stayed close without touching her even though she could tell he wanted to. “Did you ask Dee to do that?”

  “Do what? I don’t know what she did.”

  “When you were talking to Alex, Dee asked if I would be interested in making desserts for her. She said she and Sally don’t really enjoy that as much as cooking meals. She didn’t want an answer tonight but she asked me to think about it if I decided to stay here.”

  “No, I didn’t put her up to it. Alyssa or Kiley must have mentioned your brownies.”

  “So one of them got her to offer me a job.”

  They were walking through the park, past the swings. “Can we sit down?” Jesse waited for Abby to claim one before he perched next to her. “I’m sure it must seem that way to you. I know my friends would be happy if we decided to live in town but I don’t think they’d try to manipulate us. Dee’s always talked about finding someone local to supply desserts so she and Sally don’t have to do it themselves or buy them like they usually do. Alyssa was probably raving about your brownies like she did yesterday. I’m sure it was an innocent conversation.”

  “But why would she want to hire me?”

  “She knows how much Alyssa loves sugary things. If she said your brownies were incredible, Dee would trust her opinion. She would also have told Dee about the other things you said you would make for her sometime. Dee’s offer was sincere, Abby.”

  “Oh.” Abby frowned. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you.”

  “No problem. I can see why it would look that way to you. Can I ask you something?” She nodded. “I’m probably going to screw this up but I’ve been thinking about what Gwen said. I’ve told you how I believe in fate and that we are meant to be together. Have you been telling me that you love me because you think you have to?”

  “Jesse…”

  “Wait a second. Let me add something before you say anything. Don’t take my asking that the wrong way. It’s not that I don’t believe you when you say it. I can feel it. I just don’t want to pressure you to respond when I get emotional on you. We already decided to stick together. That’s enough for me. All the words can wait until you’re ready.”

  “You’re right. How can I possibly know if I love you or not when I can’t make it through a misunderstanding without falling apart completely?”

  “I wasn’t thinking about that. One thing has nothing to do with the other. Maybe I’m reading too much into what Gwen said. Maybe I’m just being insecure. I just want my wife to be sure it’s what’s in her heart when she says she loves me. I wanted you to know that although I’m thrilled to hear you say it, it won’t make me turn away from you if it’s too soon for you.”

  A
bby studied his face in the semi-darkness. All she saw was tenderness. “Maybe you aren’t wrong. Honestly, Gwen made me wonder too. I know I’m a basket case. I’m appalled at how I reacted in front of your family. I never did that before. I can’t let myself think about how that looked to them. And you’re right, I don’t trust my judgment anymore. Part of me keeps insisting I’m in over my head and completely insane but at the same time part of me knows that I shouldn’t question my feelings about you. After the way my life has been, it’s not difficult to conclude I’m holding on to you because of the security you can provide. It’s not hard to guess the image of how you describe our possible future is something I could latch on to. But in spite of all that, I believe I really do love you. Gwen is right though. This isn’t going to be easy for either of us. Was Alex giving you moral support when Dee was talking to me?”

  “Yes,” Jesse admitted. “Like Gwen, he encouraged me to call if I needed to talk to someone who’s been in a similar situation.”

  “I think they both mean it, too. I don’t know why you’re willing to put yourself through this and I can’t promise I won’t act even crazier than I did earlier. It might be wrong for me to say I need you to help me get through the mess I turned my life into but I won’t deny it. You are an amazing man. Promise you won’t let me wreck that. If being with me ever hurts you, I want you to walk away before I drag you down.”

  “Abby.” Jesse covered her hand on the swing chain.

  “I’m serious! I don’t want to ruin your life. I’m so lost and unstable that I don’t know how to act anymore. I know you saw how I slipped into pretending everything was fine earlier.”

  “Sure I did. And you’ll keep doing that until you accept that most people aren’t like Earl. My family would rather have your honest reaction, no matter what it is, than have you withdraw from them. They will be just like Gwen described Alex’s family if you let them.”

  “Maybe but I still need you to promise.”

  “All right. I’ll make you that promise even though I know nothing will be bad enough to drive me away from you. I’m sure you’ll go into hiding frequently as we’re getting used to each other. As long as I know you’ll come back eventually, I can deal with it. You’re worth the wait, Abby. I’m not going anywhere and I won’t rush you.”

  Abby’s mind was racing again. “I should have asked Gwen how long it took for her to not feel completely out of control once she quit forcing herself to be numb all the time. I think letting myself feel for you is keeping me from blocking out everything like I used to. I’m so afraid that tonight was only the beginning.”

  “Probably but let’s not dwell on it now. We’ll take it as it comes, whatever it may be. I’m likely to go overboard, trying to shield you from things so when I do, you’ll need to tell me when to back off. Or if I distance myself too much you can’t hesitate to say you need me. We’ll get the hang of it eventually but until then, it’s very important that we do our best to communicate.”

  “I know.” She hung her head. After a long pause, she looked around. “It’s peaceful here.”

  “I thought you might like it. About Dee’s offer… I already told you what I’d been considering. I won’t try to deny I’d be happy if we decide to stay here. But I’ll be just as happy if we pick somewhere else. We’ll figure this out too. I want you to wake up in the morning and look forward to whatever the day holds, not dread it. I want you to enjoy being with me. If that means you bake things for Dee, great. If you want to work with me, also great. If you want to try a different job every week until you find one you like, fine. If you want to lounge around the house all day, listening to music and painting your toenails, go for it.”

  Abby’s giggles interrupted him. “Okay. I get it.”

  “Good.” Jesse smiled at her laughter. “We don’t have to rush into any decisions. Frankly, I’d prefer to keep you all to myself for as long as possible but I know that’s not practical. How about we just hang out here for a little while?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Ah, so the town is working its magic on you. The first time Jordan brought me here I understood what he meant by it being a place that feels like home. It’s so much more comfortable than the city even though my apartment is in a decent area.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I think the one thing we should do is pick up Trevor. I can tell you miss him when I watch you with Bear. I know he’s welcome here with us if you’re worried about Jordan and Kiley. While I’m out on this limb, can I suggest we pick up what you left behind at Earl’s too? I’m sure we can borrow Shane’s truck or we can rent one if it’s not big enough. We’ll enlist Wyatt to make sure Earl can’t leave the bank while we’re there even if he finds out somehow.”

  “Oh. Maybe.” Abby pictured Earl’s reaction.

  “It might show him you’re really not coming back. Once he sees your things are gone, maybe he’ll accept that you are too.”

  “It’ll just make him madder.”

  “Maybe but I think it’s the right way to start. Wouldn’t you rather do this on your terms? We’ll collect your things and leave your keys to send the message that you aren’t coming back. Then, when you’re ready, we can stop by the bank so you can tell him in person. I’ll be right there with you. Once he sees he doesn’t have any power over you, he’s going to have to let go.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then we’ll hold off on the visit until you do. I just don’t want him to think you’re coming back because you haven’t claimed your stuff.”

  “You’re sure Wyatt can keep him away? How?”

  “For someone who keeps to himself, Wyatt knows a surprising number of people. I think it’s safe to say he can initiate some sort of bank investigation that requires Earl’s presence and is entirely legit without Earl ever suspecting you were connected in any way.”

  “Oh.” Abby drew lines in the dirt with her toe. “He can do just about anything?”

  “I think so. Got something specific in mind?”

  “No. Not really. Well, maybe.”

  “What is it, precious?”

  “I was wondering, um, do you think Wyatt could find my dad? I don’t even know if I would get in touch with him since I never heard from him after he left but I’ve always kind of wondered.”

  “I’m sure Wyatt could locate him for you. Want me to call him now?” Jesse pulled his phone from his pocket.

  “Wait. No. Maybe I should think about this some more.”

  “Whatever you want. Think about getting Trevor too, even if we forget about your things for now.”

  “There’s not much I want. Just some cookbooks and utensils that have special purposes. And my CD cases. Earl didn’t let me keep anything from college and I don’t want things he bought for me.”

  “CD cases?”

  “I took the CDs out. They’re at Janice’s.”

  Jesse laughed. “You’re priceless. You have to let me tell Wyatt about that. He’ll be even more intrigued by you.”

  “I don’t know what made me do that. It’s not like any of them would be hard to replace.” Abby was embarrassed by his praise.

  “I think you were making an unconscious statement. Kind of like taking the wind out of Earl’s sails even if he didn’t know about it. Ready to go?”

  “Yeah.” Abby moved to hug Jesse as soon as they stood. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

  “You didn’t seem like you wanted to be entirely isolated and closed in with me. I thought you might be more comfortable here.”

  “I was. I don’t know how you knew that but thank you again. I’m not afraid of you, Jesse.”

  “I didn’t think you were. I’ve been here a few times with Charlie and Shane. Since I wanted to bring you here anyway, I decided to take advantage of the nice night. I would have been perfectly content to just sit next to you. I wasn’t expecting to talk about any of that. It just felt okay to bring it up at the moment.”

  “I know and that’s why I
appreciate this so much. You don’t have to avoid stuff. If you want to talk about something, just say so. How am I ever going to learn to be normal if you don’t treat me that way?”

  “You are normal. And you’re right. I’ll stop anticipating how you’ll react if you tell me when I’m pushing.”

  “Deal.” She slid her hands to his shoulders and rose on her toes to reach his mouth. When Jesse hesitated, she licked his bottom lip. Soon they were thoroughly involved.

  “You are so hot,” he declared when they eased apart. “You kissing me like that gives me all sorts of ideas.”

  “Mm, me too,” she agreed as she shifted against his arousal.

  “Don’t, Ab,” he pleaded.

  “Why not? I thought you weren’t shy about showing how you felt about me?”

  “I’m not.” Jesse pulled her tight against him. “I just don’t know if we’ll make it all the way home if you keep teasing me like that.”

  “Who says I’m teasing?” Abby urged his hand to her breast. “You’re not the only one reacting.”

  Jesse scanned the park to make sure they were alone before he ran his thumb over her nipple. When she gasped, he grinned. “Like that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Bet you like this even more,” he stated as his hand slid beneath her sweater. “But not as much as this.” Jesse lowered the lace covering Abby’s breast so he had direct contact with her sensitive point.

  “Jesse.” Abby moaned as he continued to stimulate her.

  “Hot, just like I said,” Jesse repeated before he devoured her mouth. Still glancing around, he couldn’t seem to resist encouraging her. “Seems like this is turning you on. Makes me wonder.”

  “Wonder what?” Abby was thoroughly enjoying the way he alternated his touches.

  “Whether the rest of you is as excited as this nipple is.” He leaned down and sucked her through her sweater. “Are you wet yet? Is that sweet cream flowing for me? If I stripped you now, could I slide right in?”