East

by Lizzy Ford

  “Finally, you have found your skill, Moonbeam?” one of the women teased.

  Aware my adventure was common knowledge throughout the camp, I nodded with a grin.

  “It is a fine skill for you to master, since you cannot fall ill from disease,” Ghoajin said. “You will do much good here, Moonbeam.”

  I hope so. I needed to feel like I was contributing to my new family, community and everyday life, even if I had learned they were willing to overlook my lack of practical skills because of my translating ability.

  Curious about where Batu had gone, I was also a little grateful for some space. Sleeping in his arms had gone from a warm, comfortable situation into one that was charged with sexual energy I wasn’t certain what to do with. It frightened me on some levels, a final sign of how permanent this world was. I was considering him as something more than a temporary guardian and lowering what flimsy guards remained around my heart.

  I stayed with Ghoajin through the day and until the evening feast learning more about my new trade. It was beginning to feel more natural to be here, less like purgatory or a trial and more like a home.

  I kind of liked that feeling. I had a home with my aunt and uncle, but it was different knowing they had three children of their own already. I always felt a little like I was on the outside looking in. Here, I saw more of an opportunity to become a true part of their world.

  Batu came to the feast, and his presence warmed me in a way the fire could not. The idea he was alive, that I had saved him … I had never experienced the profound sense of relief that went through me whenever the thought crossed my mind. I shouldn’t feel so strongly for someone who had a perspective of the world so different than my own.

  I barely glanced his way when he entered with several other men, but I was so aware of him, I found food and my goblet slipping through my hands. I had grown suddenly clumsy. No one around me seemed to notice, and even Batu appeared too busy with others to spare a glance at me.

  When alcohol had begun to muddy the minds of those around me, I slipped out of the tent into the rain. It was cold and wet outside, and the night glowed with mushroom tents. Compared to the uncomfortable warmth of the crowded ger, the coldness was a temporary relief, one that wore off soon after I began wandering through the tents.

  During the daytime, I’d been able to use the colorful scarves or strips of silk that marked some of the tents to guide me. At night, all of the markers were … dark. The rain soaked them enough that I wasn’t able to tell many colors, either.

  One step forward, five tents back, I said to myself. At least I had found my way to Ghoajin’s ger earlier in the day. It was half a victory.

  I huddled into my over tunic and began to shiver, lost and cursing silently at my luck.

  “What do you do, goddess?”

  Warmth bloomed within me at his tone. “The usual. Getting lost.”

  “It is good I found you.”

  I turned to face him and tried to act natural.

  Not that there was any reason to act unnatural. Except the fact my heart began to race when he drew near. I looked up at Batu without being able to identify his features in the darkness. Heat radiated off him, and I stood stupidly for a moment, trying to recall if I should move closer or hold my ground if I didn’t suddenly feel so awkward around him. What did I normally do?

  “This way, goddess,” he said and started off in a direction I hadn’t been going.

  Somewhat relieved, I trailed him until we entered the familiar tent that was ours. “Where did you go today?” I asked and shook off the rain before moving closer to the fire.

  “The clans are moving south. I was greeting old friends and family,” he replied.

  “Moving south … oh, for winter. How often do the clans move?”

  “Every three to four full moons.”

  “Are we moving?” I stripped off my over tunic, got tangled in it and finally managed to pull it off, accompanied by one of my other tunics. I had three layers on, though, so missing one more didn’t really matter to me.

  When I tossed them to the side, I found Batu gazing at me, eyes laughing. He had managed to strip his over tunic with none of the difficulty I experienced with the heavy material.

  “What?” I demanded.

  He approached me and pinched the material of the second layer I wore. “This goes against your skin. This” he tugged up the undershirt I wore “goes on second.”

  “Oh.” Ruffled by his nearness, I laughed. “So I was wearing my underwear all day long for everyone to see. That’s just … ugh! Batu!” I groaned, my emotions skittering and evolving too fast to track. “I’ll never fit in! They’re going to think I’m crazy.”

  “They already do, ugly one.”

  I looked up at him, startled, and my breath caught at his strong features and nearness. “They do?”

  “Unique. Mad.” He shrugged. “Did you think you were not these things?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I thought I could try to fit in.”

  “If you fit in, I would not find you so beautiful.”

  My face warmed despite my goal of not letting him know I was affected by him. “You like unique madwomen who wear their underwear for everyone to see. It would explain a few things about you.” I started away, embarrassed but too … fluttery to give it much thought. In truth, I knew I did stand out. If I were a more emotional person like my delicate friend Kendra, I’d probably develop a severe insecurity complex. As it was, I was generally resigned to being a freak of nature here, but one everyone seemed to love. I could live with that.

  “I brought you this.”

  I folded my overtunic and place it in a trunk I had adopted as mine before returning to him curiously. He held out a small, velvet jewelry pouch. I took it, and Batu moved away to sit by the fire. I opened it and dumped the contents into my hand.

  Moldavite. Two pieces the size of my thumbnail. “Oh, Batu,” I murmured, uncertain what to say. I studied the glass. He had possessed a few pieces in the bag he showed me. For a moment, I debated asking if these were his or if he had gotten them elsewhere. They were a symbol of his honor and his clan. It was a more thoughtful gift than I was expecting, one I sensed conveyed some sort of great … honor, even if I wasn’t certain why.

  They meant something to me, too.

  A normal person, one who didn’t try to categorize the shade of brown of his eyes or breathe in as deeply as possible to smell his scent, would ask.

  “Are these … yours?” I asked.

  He shrugged.

  “Batu!” I snapped.

  He glanced up from his spot at the fire without responding. The question made him uncomfortable. I could see it in his face. Curious about what he was doing, I sat down beside him at the fire.

  “You can ignore me, and I’ll tell Ghoajin you’re being mean, or you can tell me!” I threatened.

  “Do they please you?” he asked.

  “Yes, of course.” I gazed at the roughened chunks so green, they were nearly black. “Very much,” I added, unable to help the emotion that emerged whenever I saw Moldavite. “But I know what they mean to you.”

  “They are yours.”

  “So they were the ones you showed me.”

  “Yes, Moonbeam.”

  I met his gaze, touched by the gift. “It wasn’t because I helped you in the plague tent, was it? Because you know, that was my duty.” I deepened my voice for the last few words and did my best impersonation of him.

  “Do you mock me, goddess?” he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting.

  “Yes, I do. You don’t accept my gratitude for your duty. I don’t expect yours.”

  “It’s not for the plague tent.”

  My heart skipped a beat. It felt like we were close to something, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to push through the veneer to find out what that was. I glanced at the glass and lowered my hand.

  “You do not ask why,” he observed and tipped my chin up until we were face to face once more.
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  “I might know why.”

  “Tell me.”

  “You sold me off to someone at a trading post and this is your farewell gift,” I said, seeking the most outlandish explanation to ease the tension between us.

  He grinned.

  “How will I ever survive without you?” I assumed an exaggerated damsel-in-distress pose.

  As with the first time he kissed me, he surprised me once again. Cupping the back of my neck, he brought my face to his and pressed his lips to mine. My world stopped, the way it had the first kiss, and within seconds, everything from his heat to his scent to his strength had filled my senses.

  I expected some small, token effort of resistance from my mind, some tiny voice that screamed at me to stop and consider what I was doing.

  Nothing came – except for hunger.

  I eased closer and opened to him, leaning into him and knowing he was strong enough to support and protect me. His arms wrapped around me, his body enveloping me with heat and strength that made it safe for me to melt into him. The need rising from the furnace in my stomach was of a different kind than any I had felt before. I craved him with intensity that felt wild, raw, new, the kind that went beyond the physical desire screaming in my blood to the part of me I hadn’t ever wanted to bare to anyone.

  In that moment, I didn’t care if his fire burnt me to a crisp. I wanted to be consumed by him – every last part of me.

  “I am a wolf in every way, my lamb. Are you prepared?” His husky question sent a shudder of desire through me.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He lifted me to my feet and kissed me once more.

  His large, warm hand slid beneath my clothing to my skin. I shivered, amazed at how small and delicate his size and strength made me feel. His touch was firm, possessive, as he swept my clothing off with ease and quickness before stripping off his own. His hands swept over my body, but not for long. His urgency was as great as mine, and I felt it in the slight tremble of his fingers and the long, thick erection pressed to my belly.

  Batu claimed what was his too decisively to tease or wait. He lifted me onto his hips and pierced me fast and deep. I gasped at the sudden sensation that was almost painful with his size and wrapped my legs around him. He knelt and lowered me onto my back without leaving my body. I let my palms skim the incredible strength of the coiled muscles of his back and ran my fingers through his hair. He kissed me breathless and began thrusting, hard, deep thrusts that were slow enough for me to feel every tiny, blissful sensation.

  His warm skin against mine, his hands twisting in my hair or exploring my skin, his breath on my neck or mouth on mine, his erection piercing and rubbing me in all the right places as he moved …

  I’d never been consumed by anyone like this, never experienced sex in a way where I felt like my partner had been molded just for me. With a warrior’s aggression and stamina, Batu was going to be unlike anyone I had ever known, and I was already clinging to him, struggling to pull him into me, to merge our bodies in every way possible.

  I wanted every part of him, wanted our skin to be in contact until I no longer craved his scent and strength.

  Batu was unlike any man I had ever met, and before he brought me to climax the first time, I knew I wasn’t just lost to history, I was lost to him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next two weeks – or maybe three? – passed in a blissful haze. I was rarely away from Batu. During the days, we sneaked in make out sessions between helping the arriving clans settle in for the winter. The nights were filled with passion and lust that lasted for hours, leaving us deliriously happy on most mornings, not at all concerned about the changing weather, the increase of people, lack of sleep or anything else that didn’t involve us naked in each other’s arms as soon as dark fell.

  Batu was different than any other man I’d been with. Taylor had been a gentleman in bed and out, while the college guys I slept with before my time traveling adventures were well, typical college guys. More interested in getting off, in quick conquests or dating the girl who made them look good in the eyes of the other guys. I was the pretty, cheerleader type; I didn’t usually run in circles where the guys were looking for depth, and I was okay with that.

  But Batu … he was every bit the fire Suvdin claimed he would be. Dominant, giving, determined to learn every curve of my body and then brand it with his mouth and hands. He was in control– and I liked it. He was as assertive and possessive in bed as he was dedicated to his duty outside. I had never considered a man like him to be the type I wanted to be with.

  He was. I loved our give and take in bed, melting into his arms and knowing I was safe and protected, closing my eyes and letting him surprise me with what he did next. I loved feeling the difference between his warrior’s frame and my smaller, feminine one. I loved how he made me feel special and delicate while also pushing me to new highs every time we made love. And I loved that when we were spent from sex, we talked and cuddled until one of us fell asleep.

  My stomach fluttered as I thought of him, and I paused in my work crushing herbs beside the fire, lost in the memories of his skin and scent.

  “My uncle is here,” he said as he entered. He was accompanied by a cold wind that made me think winter was going to be unbearable.

  “Your uncle?” I echoed, blinking out of my trance.

  Batu’s eyes went to my lips. He shifted his route from the weapons in one corner to me at the fire and dropped beside me. His lips found mine for a deep kiss, one that sent desire and fire streaking through my body.

  He withdrew. “I cannot stay now, Moonbeam,” he whispered and cupped my face. “The Imperial Court gave me permission to exact revenge upon him for what he did to you.”

  It took me a moment for my addled thoughts to return to the present. “Oh. That uncle.”

  He chuckled and rose, headed to the weapons.

  I watched him for a moment before his words clicked. After all our days and nights together, I was abruptly yanked back to the reality of the side of him I’d never been comfortable with. I still wasn’t certain how to view the violence with which he often committed his routine duties.

  “What revenge?” I asked and stood.

  “What he did to you, times nine, followed by his death.”

  What? It was hard for me to believe Batu capable of such a thing after how he treated me. And yet, I recalled thinking the same when I saw him behead and gut people that I couldn’t imagine him being gentle with me.

  He was both, and I still had no clue how to reconcile the extremes. “Batu, you can’t kill him on my behalf,” I started, struggling with the return of the confusion that plagued me the first few weeks here.

  “It is an obligation, goddess. Duty.”

  “But it’s not right. I don’t want anyone else dying on my behalf.”

  He sat back on his heels from his position sorting through his knives on his knees. His gaze found mine. “This is our world, Moonbeam, and our way.”

  “Batu, you know I see violence and killing differently than you do. If this is being done on my behalf, then can you not show mercy?”

  He rose and approached me, automatically taking me in his arms. “You despise violence and killing, yet they are a part of who I am. Do you despise me as well?”

  “No,” I said firmly. “You are a good man, Batu.”

  “This is a good cause. A just cause. If I show him mercy, do you know how many others might step up to try to harm you? Because they, too, see that I will not follow through with my duty if they do?”

  I touched his stubble roughened cheek, enamored by him even during such a topic. My heart was hammering, as much out of fear I’d disappoint him as fear for a man who didn’t deserve my mercy at all.

  But that didn’t mean he should be tortured and then murdered.

  “I understand your logic,” I said slowly. “Do you go into this with no compassion for your uncle? No desire to see him live?”

  Batu touched my face w
ith tenderness, studying me. “This gives me no pleasure, and I know it will pain Ghoajin as well. But I must perform this duty. She will understand.” He hesitated. “Will you understand, Moonbeam? Or will this come between us?”

  I didn’t know how to answer.

  “It will,” he said, reading my features.

  I withdrew from his embrace and hugged myself. I could mute any of my twenty first century judgments of this era – except for excessive violence and death. That switch just wouldn’t go out. I moved away to keep his scent from teasing me back into his arms, trying to negotiate with my conscience.

  I didn’t want this to cost me Batu. I didn’t want anything to cost me Batu.

  “You wish me to bend my will,” he said quietly. “Are you willing to bend yours?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, meeting his gaze again. I was four feet from him and felt like it was a million miles. I ached to be close to him.

  He was hard to read, except that he was intent and his tone measured. “You once swore never to marry again after Taylor. I would like you to be my wife.”

  The words floored me. The idea hadn’t crossed my mind at any point during our tryst. Coming from any other man, it might sound like blackmail. But I knew what he was doing: compromising in his unique way.

  What left me breathless: marrying Batu didn’t elicit the reaction I expected. As before, there was no tiny voice urging me to refuse, no resistance whatsoever in my thoughts. It made little sense to me that I was not only considering his proposition after swearing I’d never let down my guard again, but thrilled by it.

  To spare the man who hurt me, all I had to do was marry Batu. I chewed on it for a moment before realizing it wasn’t just his uncle’s looming death that bothered me. It was the potential death of every man who crossed our paths from here on out.

  Because I was here for good. I understood this better now, even if there were some nights when a whisper of hope of seeing my home again flickered to life. If I were to stay with Batu forever, then this … issue had to be resolved now. I prepared what I wanted to say. My insides churned with fear he’d reject my request or view me as not worth the sacrifice.