Too Late... I Love You

by Archer, Kiki

  Connie ignored the hovering waiter and stalked straight to the sofas.

  “Hi.”

  Karl was obviously flustered and scrabbled with the off button of his phone as he scrambled to his feet. “Hey, Connie, surprise.”

  “Who were you talking to?”

  “No one. Why?”

  “You were and you didn’t say bye. You just saw me and hung up.” She folded her arms. “And I was watching you. Your face looked all goofy.”

  “And hello to you too.” Her partner slumped back down onto the cushions.

  Connie stayed standing. “Who was it?”

  “No one.”

  “Yes it was.”

  “Connie, would you just sit down, please?”

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re out. I’ve planned a nice night.”

  “For me? Or the person on the phone?”

  “Oh for goodness sake, would you just grow up?”

  The familiar stab of guilt that jabbed her conscience caused her to shift her weight on her hips. It was always the same whenever her age was in question. “I’m just asking who it was.”

  “No you’re not. You’re accusing me.” Karl held out the phone. “It was no one. See for yourself.”

  Connie glanced around the room expecting all eyes to be focused on her. They weren’t. She ignored the outstretched offering and sat down. “I’ve just had a hard evening.”

  “Why? What could possibly be hard about it: your boyfriend’s taking you out, the babysitter’s sorted, so have a good time?”

  “That’s not quite how your mother delivered it.” She rubbed her face and looked up at the ceiling. “I was in my scruffs. I was already settled.”

  “You’re twenty-five, Connie. Maybe it’s me who’s bringing out the worst in you. You used to be so much fun.” He sat forward in his seat, looking pensive. “Having Noah seems to have cut off your lifeline.”

  Connie’s eyes flashed with passion. “He is my lifeline. He’s my life, Karl.” She nodded quickly. “And he should be your life too.”

  “That doesn’t mean we have to stay in every single evening sitting around in our scruffs.”

  “You don’t have any scruffs.”

  “Exactly.”

  She smiled, picturing him in his royal silk pyjamas. “I should get you some scruffs. Some Donnay joggers and a McKenzie hoody.”

  Karl grinned. “Would they go with my Ralph Lauren socks?”

  “I’d get you some white Dunlop ones instead.”

  He reached out for her hands. “This is the Connie I love. You’re witty and funny, and I want to get us back.”

  “There are three of us now.”

  “No. If we don’t have an us, then we don’t have a family.”

  Connie shook herself free from his fingers. “Is that a threat?”

  “No, it’s…” He shifted in his seat and scratched the back of his neck. “We didn’t plan him, did we? It makes sense therefore that he shouldn’t inhibit our plans.”

  “Karl! I can’t believe you just said that. Noah’s done nothing but add to our lives.”

  “What lives? We work. Well I do. And then we sort Noah, and that’s it.”

  “We cuddle up on the sofa. We chat about our day. We do stuff on the weekends that you’re free.”

  “What? The zoo? The park?”

  “Yes!” gasped Connie, exasperated. “What is this, Karl? You want out?”

  “No! This has all gone horribly wrong.”

  “What? Meeting me? Having a child with me?”

  “Tonight. This surprise. I just wanted a drink with my girlfriend. I thought we could have a laugh, maybe go dancing,” he smiled, “and then pick up a stinky kebab on the way home. You love to dance, Connie. We met on the dance floor, remember?”

  “You hate dancing.”

  “Not with you I don’t.”

  “People with young children don’t go out. It’s a fact of life.” She looked around at the mix of diners for confirmation. “I bet none of these people have children.”

  Karl nodded towards the bar. “Those men do.”

  “Yes, but they’ve been let off their leashes so their wives can get five minutes peace.”

  Karl nodded again. “Fine. That old couple in the middle, see them? I bet they do.”

  “Yes, but their kids have grown up. That’s why they’re smiling.” Connie signalled towards a young couple who were sitting across a table in silence. “They do.” She watched them. “They look utterly miserable.”

  “They’re probably just on a first date and shy.”

  Connie shook her head. “No. They’ve not spoken since I arrived and they’ve got the tell-tale eye bags.”

  “People who work hard have eye bags.”

  “Not the sort you can pull over your head and wear like a balaclava they don’t.”

  Karl laughed. “Like ours you mean?”

  “Hey! I wore concealer.” She sighed. “I don’t want us to end up like them.”

  “So let’s make time for each other.” He looked at her carefully. “And I noticed. You and your makeup look lovely tonight. You honestly do.”

  Connie took a moment to absorb the kindness before reaching into her pocket for her phone. There were no missed calls or messages from Evelyn so she smiled and made her decision. “Drinks and a dance?”

  Karl smiled. “Drinks and a dance.” He picked up his phone and stood from the sofa. “I’ll go and order.”

  “And you need your phone for that, do you?”

  He wiggled the mobile towards Connie. “I’m on call. I’m always on call.”

  The phone started to ring.

  Both saw the name on the screen: Louise.

  Chapter Seven

  A week had passed since the disastrous date night and Connie still couldn’t let things lie. She’d brought it up again at breakfast that morning, asking why he’d refused to answer Louise’s call. If she was simply his business partner he should have no problem answering his phone and talking business. He’d chosen, however, to ignore the ringing, even though in his previous breath he’d claimed he was always on call. Connie had bristled at his combative accusation that she was stupidly insecure and demanded his phone. She was sure he had been speaking to Louise as she’d arrived at the Flag and Lamb, and his denial simply fuelled her quest for the truth.

  “Prove me wrong,” she had said once again that morning, fully aware that it would all be deleted by now, but wanting to restate her point. “If you have nothing to hide you hide nothing at all.” It was then that Karl got up and left without a word of goodbye. That’s the one thing he always did: kiss her when he left for work in the morning and kiss her when he arrived home at night. Not today though. Today he’d just grabbed his gear and gone.

  Connie tried to pull herself out of the over-analysing by refocusing instead on the bustle of the community hall around her, wishing that Ryan was there by her side. He’d get to the point. He’d assign the blame. He’d make her feel better. She looked towards the centre of the room and smiled at Noah who was playing with the soft blocks, building towers and knocking them down. It was a game that could go on for hours. She scanned the rest of the room, her attention drawn to Earth Mother – rushing around in an agitated fashion. The large lady was kitted out, as usual, in a full-length tie-dye sack of a dress, accessorised with her trademark non-brand walking boots and hair rag that kept her wispy ginger locks away from her face. Connie shuddered. One of Earth Mother’s long boobs was hanging loose over the top of the dress for everyone to see, even though her son was nowhere nearby. She watched carefully. Earth Mother seemed to be calling for Lucas, but only in her quiet whisper-voice. She was one of those women who spoke without actually engaging their voice box, someone who assumed their hushed tones invoked calmness and harmony, when actually their words just passed by unheard.

  Connie eyed the hall for Lucas. She scanned the arts and crafts tables near the coffee hatch and the messy play at the back of the roo
m, unable to spot the young boy. He was usually dressed in some sort of homemade brown corduroy outfit which could blend into almost anything, but his wild orange hair was hard to miss. Connie looked back at Earth Mother who was now teetering, tit still out, on her tiptoes in a poor attempt at a bird’s eye view of the room. Connie stood up; she had to help. It was still early and most of the regulars had yet to arrive so she knew it would be easy enough. She walked towards Noah in the centre of the room and stepped over his block fortress, crouching next to him with a cuddle.

  “Hey Noah, I love this. Is it a castle?”

  “Noah’s castle.”

  “Can I play in it?”

  “No. Noah want Liss to play in it.”

  Connie looked towards the door where Top Dog and her gang were now making their entrance. “I’m not sure if Alice is coming today.” She paused, hearing the disappointment in her own voice. No firm plans had been made after their Mariano’s visit, but she knew, given the number of times she’d already checked the door, that she was hoping to see the intriguing dark-haired woman once more.

  She turned her attention back to her son. “Noah, have you seen Lucas?”

  The little boy nodded. “Lucas in wendy house. Lucas always in wendy house. Noah want Liss to play in wendy house.”

  “Thank you, my gorgeous boy. I’ll come and play if Alice doesn’t come today.”

  “No, Noah want Liss.”

  Connie stood up and ruffled her son’s hair, looking over to the small plastic house. She spotted Lucas inside, bobbing up and down, deliberately dodging the eyes of his mother. She smiled to herself; he was probably avoiding the ever present tit, thrust into his face at every possible opportunity. She glanced at Earth Mother who was quite ashen. Connie waved; she had to. She waved once more, finally gaining the flustered lady’s attention, and pointed towards the little boy’s hide-out. Earth Mother fanned her face and bustled her way over, bouncing her on-show bosom up and down in the process.

  The voice was hushed. “Oh thank you, is he in there? Oh yes he is, isn’t he. What a terror. Thank you.”

  Connie didn’t hear a word of it. “He’s in the wendy house.”

  “Thank you so much, thank you, thank you.”

  Connie spoke loudly. “It’s a horrible feeling when you think you’ve lost them.”

  Earth Mother nodded in agreement. “I always stick to schedule.”

  “Pardon?” Connie couldn’t hear her.

  Earth Mother stepped in closer. “Snack time. I always stick to schedule.”

  Connie looked at the large clock hanging on the community hall wall. It was only five past nine and the children didn’t sit for snacks until ten. “Snack time?” She hoped her firm voice would encourage a louder tone but Earth Mother simply came even closer and took hold of the loose breast, lifting it up with a smile. Connie coughed, unable to avoid the weathered looking teat. “Oh right.”

  Earth Mother presented the breast to her like a prized slab of meat. “Did you breast feed?”

  Connie couldn’t take her eyes off the udder. “Umm, yes, for just over a year.”

  “Oh well done!” Earth Mother stroked the toughened skin with her thumb. “Lucas is four now, but the longer the better they say. He loves his booby-dooby time. Now, where is that rascal?” She raised her voice slightly. “Lucas. Booby-dooby time. Here’s the booby-dooby. Lucas?”

  Connie watched as Earth Mother hurried off towards the wendy house but was unable to hide her distaste as the woman got on all fours, causing her boob to scuff the floor, back and forth.

  “Why do I always miss the action?”

  Connie spun around, instantly greeted by a warm kiss on both cheeks.

  Maria was smiling. “How are you, Connie?”

  “I, umm…” Connie fell over her words as she inhaled the sweet yet delicate scent of Maria’s cherry blossom perfume. She’d smelt the same intoxicating fragrance at Mariano’s last week and had gone home and Googled perfumes that contained cherry blossom, confident after a while that Maria must either wear Jo Malone or Guerlain. Ryan would know, he was good at things like that; in fact he’d probably chastise her for thinking that a woman like Maria would own perfumes that were easily Google-able from Fragrancenet or The Perfume Shop. Maria would probably have them handmade for her in some Indian palace or other.

  “Connie?”

  “Sorry, hi.”

  “Has that onslaught of breast got you all of a tizz?”

  Connie couldn’t help but glance at the open neck of Maria’s fitted black shirt. “No, I…”

  “Oh don’t look now but the other one’s popped out.”

  Connie snapped out of it and turned around to see Earth Mother still on all fours but with both breasts dragging along the floor as she chased, unsuccessfully, after her son. “I … wow … it’s… It’s just too early in the morning for that, isn’t it?”

  Maria smiled. “I’m a lesbian. I love it.”

  “Really?”

  “No! Of course not. I like breasts, but not covered in floor grit.”

  Connie self-consciously lifted her hand to her multi-coloured cardigan, aware that the buttons could gape. She paused, registering Maria’s comment. “Floor grit?”

  Both women looked back at the scene and grimaced.

  “Yes, floor grit. That’s got to chafe.” Maria turned away from the boob show and pointed at the plastic chairs over in the corner. “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve put my bag with yours. I assume you’re sitting in the same place as last week? Is Ryan here?”

  Connie studied the fascinating features. “You’re good with names. He’d be flattered. But no, he’s not.”

  “I make sure I remember what’s important. The rest of the time I’m a bit of a ditz.”

  Connie knew there was no possible way the woman standing in front of her with such poise and self-assured elegance was in any conceivable shape or form a ditz.

  “Really?”

  “Baby brain. Didn’t you get it? I did. That’s why I stayed off work so long. I was in no fit state to make any decisions. I once brushed my teeth with haemorrhoid cream.”

  Connie laughed. “Really?”

  “Yes, and by the end of the pregnancy I was addicted to Tums. I literally suffered from every single ailment going. If you could get it, I got it.”

  “Swollen ankles?”

  Maria nodded. “Check.”

  “Varicose veins?”

  “Like a road map.”

  Connie laughed. “Really?”

  “Yes! I got the anaemia, the back pain, the itchy skin, the—”

  “Well you look great now.” She blushed at herself for butting in.

  Maria smiled. “Why thank you. But the baby brain still lingers.”

  “You’re sure you can remember where we’re sitting?”

  Maria linked Connie’s arm and started to walk. “You’re funny, aren’t you? Come on, let me show you the way, blondie.”

  Connie reddened even more. “Blondie?”

  “It’s better than shorty.”

  “Now that’s low.”

  “I know. Is there a joke in there too?” Maria squeezed Connie’s arm tightly into her own body. “Sorry. I’m giddy. You’re the first adult I’ve spoken to in two days.”

  Connie laughed. “I have days like that. Stop walking so fast. You’ve got much longer legs than me. I’m only average remember.”

  “You’re far from average.”

  Connie stayed silent, unsure how to reply, just relieved to have made it to the chairs so she could free up her arm. She looked towards the serving hatch for distraction. “Can I get you a tea, or a coffee?”

  “As long as I can get you a real one in return from my place after we’ve finished here?”

  “Mariano’s?”

  “Yes, or you and Noah could come back to mine? I’m easy, whatever you think.”

  “Mariano’s sounds great.” She looked back at the closed slats. “Oh sorry, they’re not serving yet.”

/>   “Sit down then and tell me off for teasing you. It’s far too early for nicknames.”

  “Ryan and I are ahead of you there. We’ve given every woman in here their own special nickname.”

  Maria pulled her chair closer and nodded towards Earth Mother. “I bet she’s called Titty.”

  “Nope.” Connie found the woman she was looking for and tilted her head her way. “She’s called Titty.”

  The brown eyes widened at the tighter than tight vest top. “Gotcha.”

  “Your Titty’s called Earth Mother.”

  “Nope. My titties are Perky and Pert.”

  Connie’s cheeks flared as her eyes were drawn once again to the open-necked shirt. She swallowed quickly. “I mean the breast-feeder in tie-dye.”

  “I know you did.” Maria waited until Connie looked at her. “You’re far too easy to tease.”

  “No, I… I just don’t click with people very often.”

  “Do we click?”

  Connie smiled. “You’ve been here five minutes and already you’re talking about your haemorrhoids and booby names.”

  Maria nodded. “We’ve had coffee so we’re officially friends.”

  “You own a coffee shop. You must therefore have hundreds of friends.”

  “Maybe. But don’t you find things change when you have children? Your childless friends are somewhat interested at the start, but that soon tails off, and your friends with their own children are busy drowning in motherhood just like you are.” She pointed at her blonde-haired daughter who was now playing nicely with Noah. “But look what we get, so it’s fab, and we love it, and we never ever moan.” Turning her attention back to Connie she smiled. “Come on, give me a nickname.”