by Archer, Kiki
Ryan pulled a face. “It’s only ten past nine and just so you know, Maria’s—”
“Ryan!” Connie punched him on the knee and stood up, turning to face Phoebe with a smile. “Thanks for coming in. Have a good day. Right, where’s Noah? I fancy snuggling up with a book.”
Ryan took hold of the top of Connie’s jeans, pulling her back to her chair. “Just you sit down.” He paused, staring at Phoebe. “Bye then.”
“Okay, bye,” she said turning the pushchair around, not noticing the tongue-out, finger-wiggling raspberry being pulled by her daughter.
Connie sat down as Phoebe wheeled her away. “Nice parting gift. Pretty much sums up how totally crapped on I feel.”
“Little shit,” growled Ryan.
Connie shook her head. “Since when has Maria been a fussy eater?”
“You’ve only known her two seconds. You’ve never done picnics. Phoebe was obviously a very close friend.”
“So close that she dumped her? This whole thing’s just rubbish, and I’m not playing along.”
“You think it’s a game?”
“Why else show up here, spouting off about their perfect play days?”
Ryan shook his head. “I think it was genuine. You’re giving yourself too much importance.”
“I am important. Maria liked me. We had something special.”
“She saw you as a straight girl experimenting, nothing more, nothing less. What lesbian wouldn’t play along?”
“I haven’t been played.”
“You have. Us gays are notorious for it. There’s no other explanation. Alice is fine and it’s not like Maria’s snowed under at work. She’s out and about with her new girl.”
“They’re just friends! She’d never go there with Phoebe.”
“Wouldn’t she?”
“Stop it, Ryan, you’re making me angry.”
“Good! Get het up! Let out your rage.” He gasped. “Oh god, hold it in for a second.”
“What?” Connie followed his gaze to the entrance. Earth Mother and Crusty were signing in, squeezing each other’s bottoms as they giggled with flirtation.
“They’re coming this way!” he wailed. “And they’re holding hands!”
Top Dog and her gang wolf-whistled at the two women. “Ai ai!” they shouted, causing Crusty to halt her walk, turn to her wife and kiss her hard on the lips.
“Bout time too!” yelled one of the tattooed women.
“We all knew you were lovers,” added Top Dog. “More action than my bloke gives me.”
“He’s busy givin’ it me,” laughed one of the crew.
Earth Mother smiled at the banter and continued her walk. “Go on, Lucas,” she said to the little boy as he scooted up to their shins on the pedal-kart, “go and play with your brother. Mummy Clare and I will be sitting over there.”
Connie smiled for the first time that day as she followed the direction of the finger. She stood up to rearrange the chairs for their arrival. “Hi,” she said, welcoming them properly.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” gushed Earth Mother, wrapping her arms around Connie and enclosing her in a huge breast-first hug.
Crusty joined in, tightening the circle. “You were right. This is the way forward. You and Maria talked total sense. We went home, thought things through and decided we should well and truly step out of the closet. Things have been fantastic. It’s like we can finally breathe.”
Earth Mother ended the embrace, scanning the immediate surroundings. “Where is she? Where’s Maria?”
Ryan sneered. “She’s out shopping for wardrobes.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The atmosphere in the house was tense and not at all conducive for a smooth change over. Noah had woken up that morning complaining about Grandma Evelyn’s itchy sheets and horrible tasting breakfast. He’d also said she smelt funny, and whilst Connie had to condemn his negative tone of voice, she didn’t fully dispute his criticisms and may have even let a slight snigger slip from her lips. This was to be the third time he’d stayed away and the previous two Sundays she’d seen him arrive home rather subdued, with last weekend being the most horrific when it transpired that Karl hadn’t seen him at all. Evelyn had been left in charge while he travelled to Manchester for a meeting that involved an overnight stay and apparently a second day of essential golfing.
Even more worrying was Karl’s sudden u-turn on property, saying he was more than happy to lodge at his mother’s at the weekends because he’d most likely invest up north where prices were cheaper. Connie knew he couldn’t possibly be happy with Evelyn which led to her conclusion that he was barely there, choosing to spend any free time he had in Manchester instead.
She wilted on her chair, dropping her head onto the kitchen table as Karl confirmed her suspicions. “That’s not okay,” she said with a moan.
Karl stayed standing, checking his watch once more. “I’m giving you lots of pre-warning this time. Noah will be fine. Right, we really need to go.”
Connie lowered her voice. “I want him to see you, not your mother.”
“I have to work, and it’s not for another month yet.”
She propped herself back up, resting her chin in her palm. “He was complaining about her this morning.”
“Mum? Saying what?”
“That she… Oh it doesn’t matter.” Connie sighed and shouted through to the lounge. “Come on then, Noah, let’s get your bag.”
“I have it here,” said Evelyn entering the kitchen with the little red rucksack dangling between her two fingers. “I think I’ll go upstairs and change a few things. Last weekend he looked terribly scruffy.”
Karl spoke first. “Mum, it’s fine.”
His mother maintained her position. “No, we’re meeting Audrey and Joyce at the garden centre for lunch and I want him to look smart.”
Connie raised her eyebrows at Karl. “You’re meeting Audrey and Joyce are you? That will be fun boy time for you and Noah.”
Evelyn sniffed. “No, we’re dropping Karl at the retail outlet so he can pick up some suits.”
Connie’s eyes flashed. “Karl!”
“I’ll just nip Noah upstairs to pick out something more suitable,” said Evelyn, backing out of the kitchen, totally satisfied with her meddling.
Karl shut the door behind her. “It’s going really well in Manchester. I’m exposed to new clients on a daily basis. I need to keep up appearances.”
“On Noah’s time?”
“It’s only lunch. What’s with you today? You’re all sulky and you’ve been lolling about all over the place.”
“I have not and you’ve only been here five minutes.”
“Long enough to see you’re not right.”
“I’m fine, and if you don’t want Noah at the weekends you should tell me. He’ll be in nursery soon so I’ll have less time with him during the week. It might suit both of us if we change your responsibility to every other weekend.”
Karl blinked quickly. “That’s better for you?”
Connie smiled at his inability to hide his quiet, yet pleasant, shock. “Yes.”
“Well if it’s better for you then I don’t see why not.” He looked at her carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Listen,” he lowered his voice, “I was wrong to speak to you the way I did.”
“When you accused me of being a lesbian?”
“Shush!”
“No. It’s not a rude word, or a word that should be silenced.”
“Okay, okay.”
“But once again I give you complete assurance that absolutely nothing is going on with me and Maria, or any other woman for that matter, but if it was then I hope you’d realise that it would be none of your business.”
“I know, I know, and I was only saying shush because of Mum being so old-school.”
“And you’re okay exposing Noah to that, are you? Sorry, of course you are. It’s the upstanding male role mod
el of Ryan that you hate.”
“No, yes, I mean…” Karl ran his fingers through his hair. “What is it with you today? And anyway it was just the shock, especially when you threw in that allegation about Louise and I felt ganged up on.”
“Oh don’t be so ridiculous, Karl.”
“I did,” he looked at the floor, “but she told me.”
“Told you what?”
“Last week. She’s bisexual.” His eyes returned. “And she admitted she was wrong about you and Maria. So I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.”
“What does that woman know about me and Maria? She’s always been there on the outskirts of whatever you and I have had. Why can’t she just mind her own business?”
“Oh I don’t know. I ignored her the first time she mentioned something but when I spoke to that old woman in the coffee shop I couldn’t help texting her to find out what she’d been going on about.”
“There’s nothing going on.”
“I know that now. I think Louise is quite smitten with Miss Mariano. It’s as you said, sour grapes.”
“Something’s happening with Louise and Maria?”
“No, Maria’s apparently got someone else who’s got a daughter as well, or so says Louise who I think could be stalking her to find all this out.” He paused. “It’s strange really, how you think you know people, only to have them surprise you with the most unexpected things.”
“And this is unexpected because you’ve slept with her and a declaration of her bisexuality hurts your male pride?”
“No, I…” He sighed. “I’m trying to be civil, Connie, and I don’t care who you end up with, man, woman, freak of nature.” He smiled. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Yeah. You too.”
“Do you mean that?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
“It’s just that I’ve met someone,” he quickly sat down next to her, pulling his chair as close as he could, “and it’s early days, but she’s wonderful, and she’s in business too. She wants to travel the world and conquer the globe. She’s full of sparks and ideas. The type of person who makes you want to be the best version of you.”
Connie looked up at him slowly and spoke with a rolling of eyes. “Oh good god.”
“It’s true and I know it’s quite sudden, but she's special, and I want your blessing.”
“You don’t need my blessing. You were just a man I shared a house with.”
Karl recoiled. “Ouch.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean it quite like that. I’m happy for you. Is she based in Manchester?”
“For now, but she wants to expand her business worldwide.”
“Great.”
Karl nodded quickly. “She’s so determined. She infuses everyone with such confidence when she meets them. You can see it in their eyes. She makes them believe they’re capable of anything. She’s called Erin.”
The monotone continued. “Wow.”
“Oh Connie, you’re cross.”
“Honestly I’m not. I’m sure she’s lovely. Does Evelyn approve?”
“No, Mum doesn’t know.”
Karl’s mother opened the door, clutching a small pile of shirts. “What doesn’t Mum know? Connie is this really all you’ve got? He ought to have a smart suit by now for occasions such as this.”
“It’s only the garden centre, Mum.” Karl stood up quickly. “Come on, we should head off. I’ll have him back by four tomorrow.”
Connie pulled herself out of her seat and followed them both into the lounge, smiling as she saw Noah sitting on the bottom step of the stairs with his arms wrapped tightly around the bannister. “I love you, big man,” she said, kneeling in front of him. “You have fun with Daddy and Grandma.”
“Grandma Evelyn smell funny.”
Connie shook her head. “Noah.”
“Sorry,” he said, his mouth turning down even more.
“We’ll have none of that nonsense this week,” snapped Evelyn, trying to grab hold of his hand.
“Mum, it’s fine, I’ll take him. Come on, Noah, let’s get you an ice cream at the garden centre. We can look at the fountains again.” Karl nodded with encouragement as some fingers came free from the bannister. “That’s it, and the others.” He smiled and lifted the little boy. “Shall we have two flavours this time?”
“What about your suits?” snapped Evelyn.
“I can do that next week. See you tomorrow, Connie.”
“For goodness sake, you need to get things sorted, Karl, and I’ve told you about the dangers of sugar.”
Connie stood still as the shrill voice tailed off, watching the three disappear out of the house. “Bye,” she said in a whisper, turning to the emptiness awaiting her, nothing planned to fill the void that Noah’s departure inevitably created. Last weekend she’d watched two seasons of The Good Wife, the weekend before that it was Damages, but today she knew Netflix couldn’t tempt her out of her gloom. It had been over a month since Brighton and the start of what she had then believed would be a long-term rapport of friendship, possible intimacy and most definite affection. They had liked each other, she was sure of that, and no amount of recycling the days and events leading up to her dismissal gave her the answers she needed. Something had gone wrong. Something had changed, yet she had no idea what, and the only plausible explanation was that she’d been played. Used for sex, and when the sex failed to live up to standard she'd been flicked in one sitting.
Connie dropped onto the sofa. That couldn’t be right. Maria had been so vocal about their need to relax and just see where this took them. She’d been the one reassuring them both. She’d been the one telling Connie to make the first move. Connie closed her eyes, feeling the tears building once more. She missed her. She loved her. Even after the silence, she still loved her. “What am I doing?” she gasped, wiping her cheek and looking around for any distraction. She found her phone and refreshed the screen, clicking on the three new emails in her inbox. The first was from lastminute.com asking her to escape to Gran Canaria for all year round sunshine. The second was from Sheena at Flexicover telling her to get 20% off her travel insurance, and the third was from The National Lottery stating they had news about her ticket. Connie sat up straighter, quickly clicking on the link. What if she’d won big? She could message Sheena at Flexicover and get that 20% off the insurance she’d need to travel to Gran Canaria. Connie entered her login details. No, she wouldn’t go to Gran Canaria, she’d go to Australia, or America. What the hell, she’d just travel the world. The message page on her National Lottery account flashed up. News about your ticket. You’ve won £2.70 on EuroMillions!
Connie threw down her phone. £2.70. Why on earth did that require an exclamation mark? She couldn’t even get a bus ticket to Hackney for that. Maybe the staff at the National Lottery threw it in to laugh at her and say: “Ha! No money, no partner, no job, no life.” She paused as her inbox beeped again. What was it this time? An email from Slimming World telling her to join? Or a message from a funeral parlour reminding her it was never too soon to plan for the inevitable?
She scanned the sender’s name and subject, slowing her reading as the words came into focus. It was from the literary agent. They had received her submission. She re-read the next sentence twice before daring to read it aloud. “We loved the first three chapters of your novel and would like you to send us the whole manuscript on an exclusive basis.” She jumped up, clutching the phone and repeating the words once again. “We loved the first three chapters of your novel and would like you to send us the whole manuscript on an exclusive basis.” The doorbell buzzed and Connie didn’t care who was standing on the step, she was throwing open the door and greeting them with the very same sentence.
“My novel’s a whole and they want an exclusive!” she said as the woman on the doorstep came into view.
“Your what?”
“My, my…” Connie stood still, staring at the soft brown eyes. “My novel’s…”
“You
have an agent?”
“I… I think so… I… What are you…?”
The voice was gentle. “Oh Connie, that’s brilliant. May I come in?”
She nodded, inhaling the sweet smell of cherry blossom as it swirled into the house, following the beautiful woman with her eyes. “You… You look… You look lovely,” she managed to say.
Maria smiled. “So do you.” The stare was intense and the voice was earnest. “And there’s so much I need to say and so much I need to apologise for but you must tell me about your book first.”
Connie lifted her phone, finding it easier than speaking, watching as Maria read the words for herself.
“This is fantastic! They say you have a really unique voice. I’m so happy for you. Come here, Connie.”
Connie felt the arms wrap around her shoulders and the lips press against her cheek, but she froze, unable to enjoy the connection. “You’re… you’re here.”
“I should have been here last week, and the week before that.” Maria stepped backwards. “Can we sit down? Can I try and explain?”
“I don’t want your sympathy.”
“Maybe I want yours?”
“What? Why would I give you that? You walked out of here and left me—”
“I know, I know, can you just listen? Can you come and sit down?” Maria made her way to the sofa, patting the space next to her.
This time it was Connie who sat on the edge of the cushions. “Where have you been?”
“I’ve got something so serious to tell you, something that’s taken me this long to come to terms with, something that was so unexpected that it sent me into a spiral of confusion, a spiral of self-doubt, a spiral of stupidity that made me push you away.”
“What? What was it?”
“Before I tell you I want to ask you something. Will you tell me again?”
“Tell you what?”
“What you said before I left.”
Connie sighed. “I told you I loved you.”
“Well I love you too.”
“What?”
“I do, and I think I loved you from the first moment I met you when I had to apologise for my daughter hitting your son.”
“She didn’t hit him. She snatched a block away from him.”