Masks and Lies

by McKechnie, A C J

  “I was expecting an interrogation, I suppose.”

  “No need. You know what I would say to you anyway. Why speak the words myself when my presence is enough to put them in your mind?” he added before leaving the diner again, and Kendra shook her head. The man was amazingly astute.

  She did know what he would say to her, that she needed to watch herself and her heart with the man she’d been out with three times so far. He’d say that she needed to be careful and to let her spirit guide her. He’d tell her that she deserved to be treated like a princess, a warrior, a great woman. Then he’d tell her that Growling Bear could do all of that and he was more suitable to her in the long run, that he loved nature like her, that the city boy would never stay.

  He’d say it all and she’d think it over, and she’d still choose to go out with Nick again. She enjoyed their time together. They had fun. She’d found herself laughing more than she had done in a long while. It was liberating, and freeing, and unexpected.

  She hadn’t expected to find herself letting go so easily of all her worries, cares, and doubts with the man around. But something about him put her at ease. She might not have trusted him at the start but she definitely did now. Now she trusted him completely. He wouldn’t let her down, he wouldn’t hurt her, he’d keep her safe. She knew that, and because she knew that, she was able to relax with him and enjoy herself fully.

  “Kendra,” a voice said from beside her, and she looked down in surprise at the Sheriff who was holding his cup out for her. She been on auto-pilot while she’d been thinking about Nick and hadn’t been concentrating on anything around her.

  “Sorry, Sheriff,” she said with a blush of embarrassment before topping up his mug.

  “You were a little lost there. Anything the matter?” he asked with genuine concern, and she smiled while shaking her head ‘no’. “Ah,” he said in understanding. “Our new boy in town, I guess,” he hypothesized, and Kendra just shrugged. “You see,” he said suddenly, “this is exactly why I worry about Joanie.”

  “Because I’ve been dating?” she asked with a raised brow.

  “Because look at how distracted you are, and you’re an adult,” he said, and Kendra smiled.

  “Yes, but Joanie’s much smarter than me, Sheriff. And besides which, she’s been with Mark for long enough to have gotten over the easily distracted period. Have you made an effort with the boy yet?” she asked with a hand on her hip as she stared down at the man.

  She watched as he shifted uncomfortably before just muttering something quietly, and Kendra raised another brow at him.

  “I said, I’ve been too busy.”

  “Busy, Sheriff? We had a local crime spree that nobody’s heard of lately?” she asked and watched as he shifted uncomfortably again.

  “I have other things to do in this town, you know,” he defended, and Kendra smiled.

  “I know, Sheriff. And you do a mighty fine job. But seriously, you need to start opening yourself up to the boy. There’s a very real chance that he’ll be your son-in-law one day,” she pointed out and watched as his head snapped up.

  “You know something?”

  “No. But I’ve seen them together. They love each other. Joanie won’t be marrying and settling down anytime soon, but Mark could easily follow her to wherever she ends up and marry her then. There’re plenty of young married couples at college, Sheriff. There’s a good chance that they’ll be one of them,” she advised.

  “You really think they might …?” he said and trailed off.

  “I think it’s a possibility, yes,” she said truthfully. “And I’d support it,” she said with a shrug and watched as the Sheriff’s eyes bugged.

  “But you don’t believe in marriage.”

  “For myself, Sheriff. I don’t believe in marriage and family for myself. I never said it wasn’t for anybody else. I sincerely hope that anybody looking for it finds true love and gets their happy-ever-after. And I especially hope for that for Joanie and Mark,” she added before heading back to the counter.

  She found herself stumbling to a stop when she realized that Nick had obviously entered, and was staring at her with an odd expression on his face. She had no idea how much he’d heard or what the look meant, but she found herself feeling guilty and blushing. She wasn’t sure of why that was either, but she suddenly felt uncomfortable around the man.

  Deciding to ignore her crazy emotions, she walked up to him, ready to take his order. “What can I get you, Nick?”

  “Any chance a date might be on the menu?” he asked with a smile, and Kendra shook her head. If he’d heard her pronouncement to remain single, clearly the man was happy with the development, and if he hadn’t, then she wasn’t likely to bring it up again, it hardly mattered, after all.

  “The fruit or the activity?” she asked, and he smiled more widely at her.

  “Activity. Got a spare evening coming up?” he asked, and she shrugged at him.

  “Maybe,” she replied before his grin ratcheted up another level.

  “Are you ever going to make things easy on me?” he asked, and she just shrugged again before focusing back on her pad in her hand.

  “Your order?” she asked with a smile and a twinkle in her eye, and she wrote down his order before turning to sashay away from him. She could feel his eyes on her but she refused to look around at the man. He was too smug most of the time as it was, she didn’t need to inflate his ego any more than it already was.

  “Another date?” Betsy asked as Kendra handed over the order.

  “Yep.”

  “That’ll be the fourth, huh? Many more, Kenny, and people hereabouts will have you two married off.”

  “We haven’t even kissed yet, Bets.”

  “What?” the woman said with wide eyes, and Kendra laughed at the reaction. “Why not?”

  “He’s never made a move to,” Kendra replied with a shrug.

  “What’s wrong with the man?” Betsy asked with a furrowed brow as she studied Nick intently.

  “Perhaps he’s just spending time with someone while he’s here killing time.”

  “Well, if he don’t hurry up and make a move, all sorts of rumors’ll be flying around about him,” Betsy predicted as she scowled at the man in question.

  When Kendra looked over her shoulder she almost laughed at the uncomfortable expression on the man’s face. He’d seen Betsy’s reaction no doubt.

  “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about when it comes to his masculinity, Bets,” Kendra said in amusement.

  “I do if the boy still ain’t tried anything with you. You should have been able to at least slap him for his efforts before now,” Betsy said with a grumble, and Kendra laughed.

  “So you don’t want me to kiss him?” she asked.

  “Not on a first date, girl, but he should have at least tried. What hot-blooded American boy wouldn’t have? You can bet Growling Bear would have tried to kiss you long before now if you’d have given him any encouragement,” Betsy affirmed with a nod of her head.

  “I love you, Bets,” Kendra said in amusement as she headed back with a plate for one of the other tables.

  Shaking her head at the woman’s antics, she found herself approaching Steve and Harold and smiled at the pair. When they smiled back and shot a glance over at Nick she realized that Betsy might be right. There really would be rumors abounding if the man didn’t hurry up and try something with her.

  Perhaps the most compassionate thing to do would be for her to make the first move.

  * * *

  Mitchell looked down at Kendra and smiled. They’d been on their fourth date, and he was making good progress with her. Very good progress.

  They still hadn’t broached the topic and subject which he really needed to with her though, and that was starting to worry him. He wasn’t sure how to bring it up without all of her walls appearing again. An event he couldn’t afford to have occur. His boss was getting impatient. Really impatient. And Mitchell was having to
do everything to put them off for the moment.

  “So I heard an interesting rumor the other day,” Kendra said as they stood outside of her apartment door, and Mitchell looked at her in question.

  “A rumor you say,” he prompted when she looked like she was waiting for some sort of response from him.

  “Uh huh,” she said with a smile.

  “About?”

  “You.”

  “Me?!” he said in surprise.

  “Yep.”

  “What about me?” he asked with a furrowed brow. Had somebody found something out about him? Did someone know what his real purpose here was? What his real name was? And most importantly, did Kendra believe it?

  “I’m surprised you haven’t heard it yourself,” she mused as she studied him, and Mitchell swallowed nervously. It seemed important judging by the serious look in her eyes.

  “I haven’t. So what have Granville been saying about me?” he asked in marked interest.

  “Just something about how maybe you have some issues,” she said slowly as she locked her eyes with his.

  “Issues?” he asked in confusion.

  “Yeah. With women,” she added, and Mitchell noticed the amusement was nowhere in her eyes now.

  “What?!” he said in shock, and Kendra stared at him while hugging herself tightly.

  “Seems that everyone is wondering why you haven’t a made a move on me yet, Nick,” she said, and his eyes widened while he took her in. What the heck was everyone saying about him!?

  As he studied Kendra more closely he realized that she seemed upset. Though why she’d be upset by people casting aspersions on his masculinity he wasn’t sure. After all, it wasn’t her they were slighting, it was him. Kendra wasn’t having to defend herself to them. She was apparently the victim in all of … oh. Okay. So it reflected on Kendra as well then. Clearly she was starting to think that she wasn’t desirable enough to tempt him or some such like.

  Mitchell had already learnt that Kendra’s self-esteem wasn’t the greatest in the world, and by him not even trying to make a move on her it looked as though he didn’t want to. If he successfully defended his masculinity to everyone without making a move on her, it would mean that Kendra would be looked upon as being unwanted.

  Which couldn’t be further from the truth. He definitely wanted Kendra. A lot. Which was one of the reasons that he hadn’t made a move on her. It was dangerous. It would muddy the waters. It would be too much of a temptation.

  Though if he wasn’t careful, she’d pull away from him because of this ridiculous rumor, and all of his efforts would be for naught. Really it was the charitable and sensible thing to give in to his desire for her for the moment.

  Shaking off the pang of guilt that seemed to be an almost constant companion to him lately, Mitchell decided that for everyone’s benefit he’d have to kiss the girl. Alright, so not exactly a hardship, but it was something that he hadn’t planned on doing.

  “Well, I thought you should know,” she said with a fleeting smile before grabbing herself more tightly and making to head back into her apartment.

  “Wait,” he said suddenly as he reached out and gently grabbed her arm to stop her. Looking back up at him, Kendra just waited for whatever he wanted to say. “I think maybe we need to put those pesky rumors to bed,” he added and watched as her eyes widened slightly before a slight blush spread over her cheeks.

  “You don’t have to do this, Nick,” she said in a whisper at him. “You’ll be moving on soon enough,” she added, and he frowned at her. He was starting to hate the way that she kept bringing up that fact, but refused to analyze why.

  “I might not have to do this, but I dang well want to. I think I’ve been patient long enough,” he said as he pulled her closer to him. He could feel her breathing coming in shallower and faster and kept his gaze locked on her blue one. She truly was a remarkably beautiful woman, and it had been a long time since he’d kissed anyone.

  In fact, the last person that he had kissed had been Kendra herself, but she didn’t remember that incident at all. To them this was their first kiss. And in a way it was to him as well. This Kendra wasn’t the same one as the girl he’d shared such passionate responses from two years ago, this Kendra was so much more. So much more.

  As his hand came up to cradle her face, he watched as her eyelids drifted closed and he slowly bent towards her. He’d never taken so long to kiss someone before, but somehow this felt different between them.

  Reminding himself that all of his strange emotions and uncharacteristic feelings were all a product of his job, he closed his own eyes and finally touched his lips to hers. The moment he did a spark seemed to shoot through him and he pulled back in surprise to see Kendra staring at him in just as much shock.

  As he took in her rapid breathing and her partially open lips Mitchell gave up rationalizing and thinking, and even caring about his job, and instead he just did what he was drawn to do with this woman: he claimed her as his.

  Inhaling a shocked breath, Kendra stared at Nick in utter surprise. When his lips had touched hers she’d felt a shock. An actual physical shock. It had been unlike anything she’d ever felt before and had taken her completely off-guard.

  When the shock had dissipated it had left behind a tingling in her lips. Spreading out from there, however, warmth seemed to swamp her body and Kendra just stared at the man in utter confusion. How the heck had he managed that with a simple brush of his lips against hers?

  Judging by the wide-eyed look on his own face, Nick hadn’t been expecting it either. Which made Kendra wonder what had happened between them. What it meant. What it signified. The shock had been strange enough, but her burning body was even more of an anomaly to her.

  All she wanted to do was throw herself at the man opposite her. It was as though her body was craving him. It was amazing. It was powerful. It was bloody scary as hell. It was reminiscent of the intense desire she had for another vice in her life, and Kendra was suddenly afraid that there was a very real chance that she could find herself addicted to Nick.

  All of her worries promptly flew out of her mind in the next moment though when his arms banded around her and he pulled her roughly against him. There was no gentleness in this kiss like the first. The first had been tender and sweet. This was nothing like that. This was raw and primal. This was a kiss a man gave a woman to subdue her, to claim her, to mark her and ensure that he wasn’t going to be forgotten.

  No bloody chance of that happening. This was the most amazing kiss she’d ever experienced in her life. Nick’s arms were like steel bands around her, crushing her to him, and she didn’t mind one bit. In fact, she was clinging just as fiercely onto him.

  As their mouths finally opened to each other that heat that had been simmering throughout her body burst into flames, and Kendra found her movements turning frantic and urgent. She was burning up, incinerating. It was like she was on fire and the only way to quench it was through Nick, he was the only remedy at the moment.

  He seemed just as desperate as her for this all to happen as well. His hands were roaming in her hair, down her back, at her waist, he wasn’t moving them anywhere inappropriate, but she could feel the tension in them, she could feel the tension in him. He was as out of control as her.

  Wrenching their mouths apart, Kendra gasped in a lungful of air and removed one of her own searching hands to move behind her and the doorknob there. Turning it, she found them stumbling through the doorway and into the lounge that the door opened straight into.

  Nick was busy planting moist kisses down her neck but seemed aware enough of their surroundings to direct her to the couch. As they fell down on it they locked eyes again, and Kendra didn’t miss the labored breathing that they were both struggling with.

  Staring into Nick’s blue eyes, she found herself completely unable to read the emotions swimming in them and wondered what this all meant. She wondered what he was thinking. What he was feeling. She wondered so much.

&n
bsp; Just like before, however, as soon as his mouth touched down on hers again she forgot about wondering about anything. Instead she just took what was in front of her. Grabbed onto it, and him, with both hands, and gave herself up to whatever this all meant.

  Chapter Eight

  If Mitchell didn’t stop himself soon, there was a very real chance that he wouldn’t stop at all. As much as he could remember how amazing Kendra’s kisses had been the first time that they’d met, clearly his memory didn’t do them justice.

  He remembered having to control himself two years ago, but he couldn’t remember it being so difficult back then. But then again hadn’t he already told himself that this wasn’t the same Kendra. Not only that, but he’d gotten to know her this time around, gotten to discover what a wonderful, amazing woman she was.

  All of that made a difference. Not to mention the fact that this time around he knew why she was kissing him. It wasn’t just an escape; it was because she wanted to. Because she wanted him. Mitchell.

  That thought had him breaking from her roughly. She didn’t want him. She didn’t know him. She wanted Nick. Damn Nick. She wanted the man he’d been portraying. And as much as that man was, in fact, pretty much the same man as Mitchell was, the truth of the matter was that she was kissing a man who didn’t really exist.

  He wasn’t a travel writer taking a break between assignments and enjoying the peace that getting out of the rat race had afforded him. He wasn’t Nick Clifton, he was Mitchell Astley. A man who had been lying to and deceiving her. He was a man who had a career that was directly linked to her. A man who had a feeling that she would not be happy with him when everything came out in the open.

  Although he’d been telling Kendra the truth about everything else in his life, his childhood, his family, the things that he liked and didn’t like, there was a very large part of his life that he’d kept hidden from her. There was a very large part of who he was that she had no idea about.

  And this was wrong. So very wrong of him. He wanted Kendra. He wanted her completely. But he couldn’t have her. It wasn’t right.