“Yes. Because I stayed the night with her,” Notaku said, and Mitchell’s fists clenched automatically. “To help her. To get her through a night without falling back into the habits from her past. We spent all night talking things through. Her mother. Her father. You. Her adventures on the road and her ordeals while she did so. We spent all night talking and making sure that she would resist the lure she felt tugging at her,” Notaku said, and Mitchell studied his face to verify the truth of the man’s words.
“I heard her though,” Mitchell added with a furrowed brow. “She was talking to Betsy about it all. Saying how kind and gentle you’d been. How you’d helped her take a monumental step and how amazing it had all been.”
“She was talking about the fact that he sat with her and made her confront that demon she’s been fighting,” Betsy said from behind, and Mitchell spun around to see her staring at them. He had no idea how much she’d heard and Mitchell blushed at that. “She told me how Notaku made her stare down that bottle while she related the worst things that had happened to her, and how he was there with her to make sure that she wouldn’t break down and give in.
“She didn’t sleep with him, Mitchell. She’d have asked, and she’d have thought she wanted to, but she wouldn’t have gone through with it. She wouldn’t have done it to him. Or herself. Or even to you. She wouldn’t have used Notaku, she wouldn’t have demeaned herself, and she wouldn’t have betrayed you,” Betsy affirmed.
“If you thought we’d been together,” Notaku said, and Mitchell spun back to look at him, “why did you still want her?”
“Because I love her. And if something had happened, I knew it would have been because I’d pushed her into it. Because my actions had made her act out against it all,” he said sincerely and watched as Notaku studied him closely.
“It wouldn’t have mattered?” Notaku asked.
“No,” Mitchell said with utter conviction. “I had no right to be upset with her behavior after mine,” he said. “It wasn’t any of my concern what she’d done after the way I’d treated her. And ultimately I love her anyway. It wouldn’t have mattered because of that,” he said and watched as Notaku slowly smiled at him.
“You ain’t Nick,” Betsy said from the side again, and Mitchell looked back at her. “You ain’t the man she fell in love with.”
“I –,” he started but she cut him off.
“You’re a better one,” she added before smiling herself.
Chapter Twenty-one
Something was going on in Granville. Kendra had no idea what, but something was definitely up.
Staring down at the phone in her hand, Kendra narrowed her eyes at it and tried to pinpoint exactly what was off with Betsy. She didn’t know precisely what it was but she did know that something about the previous call had been strange.
Betsy had called her back to let her know that everything was now fixed, thanks to Mark, and no thanks to the rest of the men who’d tried to ‘help’ her. It sounded as though Betsy had had a time of it; water damage, electrics out, fuses blown, heating down. Kendra felt a twinge at the thought of the woman having to cope on her own but knew that there were plenty of people around to lend her a hand. Even if those hands ended up creating more chaos for the woman.
When Kendra had gone on to explain her reason for calling earlier in the day Betsy had been sympathizing with and advising her on her opinion and take on it all. At least she had at the start, then something had changed, her attention had splintered and something else had taken her focus off of Kendra and her own situation at the moment.
Then Betsy had abruptly ended the call, and even Kendra had been able to ascertain why. She’d heard an angry voice in the background that had come down the line crystal clear. Kendra had no idea what had been going on and had tried to ask Betsy, but the woman had just brushed her off and rushed off to obviously deal with it all.
Kendra wasn’t worried though. She knew Betsy well enough to be able to tell that the woman wasn’t scared or frightened. Instead Kendra was left with an overwhelming feeling that something was going on. Something unusual. And what made it even more unusual was the fact that Betsy wasn’t telling her what it was.
“Everything okay?” her mother’s voice cut into Kendra’s thoughts, and she smiled at the other woman in welcome.
“Yeah. Just a call from Betsy,” she said and watched as her mother nodded. Marilyn had gotten to know Betsy through her repeated phone calls to find out about Kendra’s life and how she was doing over the past couple of years.
“She’s alright?”
“Had a few disasters with her utilities, but it’s all fixed up.”
“You still look worried,” her mom ventured, and Kendra shrugged.
“Just … something’s going on over there that I don’t understand.”
“You miss it,” her mom said after studying her face closely, and Kendra couldn’t deny it. Granville was home. As much as she and her mom had mended things, or at least were in the process of mending them, and as much as she was enjoying getting to know Howard, she still thought of Granville as home.
“You could always head back there,” her father said from the doorway, and Kendra looked up in surprise. She hadn’t seen the man since she’d returned from the airport with her mom in tow. She hadn’t told her dad that the woman was visiting and she hadn’t been sure how he’d taken it all.
She hadn’t been sure if he’d allow her to bring her mom to his house, but she wanted to repair the damage that her disappearance and estrangement had caused between her and her mom. And she also wanted to give her parents a chance to get to know each other again. She didn’t know how things would turn out between them, but she thought that they should at least get used to being in each other’s lives now.
Kendra didn’t want to have to keep her parents in separate parts of her life, and to that end figured that they’d need to be around each other to get used to it all. But now she wasn’t so sure. Her dad had looked up, seen Marilyn, then blanched and excused himself.
Her mom had taken the opportunity to blast Kendra about springing her visit on the man. Kendra had endured it but wouldn’t have changed anything if she had a chance to do things differently. Except maybe tell her dad before her mom had entered the room. She wouldn’t have told him any sooner, but she recognized that he probably shouldn’t have just been confronted with a ghost from his past.
It was done, however, and now she was going to have to deal with the fallout. Which now she’d be able to actually do with her dad finally making a reappearance. At least he was still talking to her, she hadn’t been sure if she’d blown it with him with her impetuous actions.
Focusing back on the conversation at hand, however, she answered him instead, “I will do. When I’m ready,” she said with a smile.
“When will that be?” he asked, and she found her brow creasing at the intense look he was giving her.
“I don’t know. I guess when everything’s settled with all of us,” she said with a shrug as her gaze darted between him and her mom.
“That might take years,” the man said with a rueful smile. “We don’t have to rush developing a relationship, Kendra. I’m not going anywhere, and neither is your mom. If you want to head back home, I understand. I’ve had your company for over a month already, and I recognize that you have another life there.”
“I do, but there’s nothing pressing for me to return to. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere until Christmas was over anyway,” she said and watched her parents assimilate that fact.
“It would be nice to have you here for that,” her dad said with a smile, and Kendra noticed her mom shift uncomfortably. Howard must have noticed as well, as he said, without looking at the other woman with them, “And of course your mother is welcome to stay as well.”
“Oh!” her mom said, obviously startled by the reluctant invitation. “Um, thank you,” she added quietly to the man, and Kendra watched as the two locked eyes again. She could see her
father struggling with his emotions and noticed his hands go to his pockets as he shrugged.
“You’re Kendra’s mother, Marilyn, you deserve to be able to spend Christmas with your daughter. You missed the last couple,” he said graciously, and Kendra just watched the exchange in silence.
“And you missed those and all the others before,” her mom said softly and with real regret tinging her tone. It wasn’t just Kendra that had been surprised at her mother’s soft and rueful confession, Howard seemed to be at a loss for words over her mom’s utterance too. “I’m sorry, Howie,” she said, and Kendra felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth at the nickname. She doubted anyone would dare call Howard Powers, ‘Howie’, but her mom obviously still saw the man that he was, not the one that the public saw.
“It doesn’t matter, Marilyn,” he said briskly and turned away, obviously wanting to get off the subject, but Marilyn wasn’t that easily set aside. Her father had been right, Kendra got her stubbornness from her mom, and Howard was about to realize that Marilyn Wilcox hadn’t lost that part of her even after all of the years that had passed.
“It does, Howie,” she said more forcefully, and Kendra watched as Howard turned back to her. “It matters a lot. You lost out on a chance to raise your own daughter. I know that. I always knew that. I always regretted that. But I wouldn’t have done anything differently,” she affirmed, and Kendra watched as Howard stared at her with a mixture of anger and curiosity.
Obviously recognizing the curiosity in his gaze, Kendra’s mom took the opportunity to explain herself. “You and I both know that if I’d have told you that I was pregnant, you would have dropped out of school to take care of us. I know you, Howie. I knew that you would give up on your dreams in order to be with us, to be a father and a husband, and I couldn’t let you do that. You had so much promise. So much ambition. So much to become and to give others.
“Look at you,” Marilyn continued as she lost the reserve that had plagued her since Kendra had met her off the plane. “Look at all that you’ve achieved. All that you’ve done. You wouldn’t have been able to do that with a young wife and baby underfoot. Look at all the good you do. The charities you help. The people you employ. The benefit that people receive because of what you’ve become. We’d have stood in the way of all of that,” she said heatedly, and Kendra watched as her father absorbed her mother’s words.
“Did you ever think, Marilyn, that you and a family were one of my dreams?” he said through a tight jaw, and Kendra watched as sadness filled her mother’s eyes.
“I know. You have no idea how much it broke my heart to turn you away,” she said softly. “You have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep. But I wouldn’t do it any differently. You know I’m right about it all.”
“No. I don’t. Do you think so little of me to think that I couldn’t have done both?” he asked angrily, and Kendra watched as her mother’s eyes widened before she smiled ruefully.
“I knew you could do anything, Howie. But I was sixteen. Sixteen. All I could see was that it would have been a choice for you. Do you honestly mean to tell me that at the time you would have thought that you could do both? Would the thought have even entered your mind? Because I honestly don’t think that it would have. For me it looked like an either/or scenario.”
“An either/or scenario that I should have been given a choice in.”
“No,” Marilyn stated firmly. “There would have been no choice. You would never have left us. Never left me on my own,” Kendra’s mom said, and Kendra watched as her dad processed that.
“Why did you never tell me though?” he said, and Kendra could hear the hurt in his words as he did so. “You could have told me later. You could have given me a choice then,” he said angrily, and Marilyn smiled sadly at him.
“What would you have thought of me? What would you have done? What would I have said? Hi, Howie, now that you’re big and successful I’d like you to meet the child that I hid from you. Now that you have money and status and power I’m more than happy for you to become a part of our lives. What would it have looked like?” she asked as tears started to fill her eyes.
“I would have known you, Marilyn. I would have known that you’d never lie about something like that.”
“I never said you’d think I was lying. I asked what you’d have thought about me,” she said emphatically. “As much as it hurt to turn you away I would never have been able to cope if you thought any worse of me,” she confessed quietly and honestly. “I couldn’t have been able to bear seeing your scorn, or for you to think that I only wanted you to be a part of our lives because of everything that you’d become. It was better all round for –”
“No! It wasn’t!” he said angrily as he paced around the room. “It wasn’t better, Marilyn, and you had no right to decide the fate of everyone’s lives! You should have told me! You. I should never have found out in a damn letter. A damn letter written by your waste of a father!” he said angrily, and Marilyn’s eyes popped open at that statement.
“What do you mean?” she asked in a stupor.
“How did you think that I found out about our daughter?” he asked as he flung a hand out in Kendra’s direction. “The great and mighty Jordan Wilcox had a letter included in his will addressed to me, informing me of the existence of a daughter, a daughter that I had fathered and had never known.”
“What? I … I don’t understand,” Marilyn said unsteadily. “Why would he do such a thing?”
“I have no idea. Who knows when it came down to your dad. It was most likely out of spite, that would be in keeping with the man. He wrote to me, telling me that I’d left behind a pregnant girlfriend to raise a daughter on her own. Told me that it was all my fault that you ended up on your own and with no one to take care of you. Told me that I deserved to know all that you’d suffered and gone through. Told me that I should feel responsible for Kendra growing up fatherless and with a mother who took every and any job available to support herself and her child while I rolled around in the money I’d made.
“He told me that he hoped I felt the weight of a little girl having no daddy. Hoped that I realized that if I hadn’t been so focused on the brass ring, that I’d have known. If I hadn’t been so filled with pride, that I would have come back for you and known at once what had happened. He told me everything.
“There were pages, Marilyn. Pages of the things that had happened to you. Pages of the trials that you went through. Pages and pages of what my turning my back on you had brought upon your heads,” he said almost wearily, and Kendra stared at the man in shock and surprise.
She’d never known her grandparents, they’d kicked her mom out, after all, and so was even more shocked to think that they’d known all about her mom’s struggles but hadn’t helped. Then to blame all of her and her mom’s misfortunes on a man who had no knowledge, and no way of knowing about any of it, was galling.
“I should never have heard about it all through that miserable excuse for a parent,” he said, and Kendra looked at her mom to see what she was making of the whole thing.
“He was wrong,” Marilyn said firmly with a straight back. “It was never your fault. The only person who was ever to blame in all of this was me. I know what I did, and I take full responsibility for the consequences of those actions. It was nobody’s fault but mine, Howie.”
“He was right though,” the man said sadly. “If I’d swallowed my pride, gone back to see you, even once to see how you were getting on in life, I’d have known. But you’d hurt me. You’d hurt me and I couldn’t bear to be hurt again,” he confessed.
“I know,” she said with a quirk of a smile. “I understand. I always did. I … I never stopped loving you, Howie, and that same thought of rejection, or of having you think badly of me, well it stopped me as well,” her mom confessed quietly, and Howard looked at her intently.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” he said with a slight quirk of his mouth.
“Love. Makes fools of
us all,” her mom muttered, and Kendra looked between the pair of them. “I truly am sorry for all that you missed out on, Howie. I just … I just made what I thought was the right decision at the time.”
“You still think it was the right decision,” he pointed out, and Marilyn nodded. “You still wouldn’t change anything.”
“I … I never said that,” she said quietly. “If I could change anything, I’d change one thing. I would have told Kendra the truth from the start. I wouldn’t have let her believe what she did.”
“What did she believe?” he asked with a furrowed brow, and Marilyn shifted uncomfortably while shooting a glance her way, letting Kendra fill in the awkward silence.
“I thought that my father had used my mom,” she said. “I thought that he’d seduced her and then ditched her the next morning.”
“I was wrong to let her believe that. I should have told her the truth. I shouldn’t have let her think what she did. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry for that, Kendra,” her mom said while focusing her attention on her now.
“I know, but I think that I can understand why you did,” Kendra ventured. “I think I get it,” she said softly. “Love. It hurts. When you have it torn away from you, it hurts more than anyone can ever describe. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to have to talk about it, why you would want to bury it all somewhere deep. I get it, Mom. I understand that you thought that you were protecting the man you loved, and I understand that you were protecting yourself when you weren’t honest and open with me.
“Sometimes we deceive and we lie, not to be cruel, but instead because we think it’s the best thing for everyone involved. Sometimes we do it to protect others, and sometimes we do it to protect ourselves,” she said and watched as her parents stared at her intently. Shifting under their scrutiny, Kendra wondered what they were thinking as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“Who is he?” her mom asked, and Kendra looked up in surprise at the woman.
Masks and Lies Page 20