“I didn’t want to push you, pressure you. I thought we needed to take our time.”
“Is that why you haven’t been touching me?” she asked and watched as he nodded.
“I knew once I got my hands on you I wouldn’t be able to control myself,” he explained, and she nodded at that. “Especially after it having been so long,” he said, and she nodded again.
“I didn’t realize,” she said and watched as he looked at her in surprise. “I thought maybe you didn’t want me,” she confessed as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself again.
He barked out a short sharp laugh while shaking his head and just looked at her incredulously. “You couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said in dry amusement. “I want you more than ever.”
“I think I get that now,” she said with a soft smile and saw him smile softly in return as his frame relaxed at their joint admissions. “I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t have to worry about pushing things. I’m big enough to say stop, and you’re honorable enough to respect me if I did,” she declared and watched as he seemed to straighten up with her words, as though she’d said something of monumental importance to him.
“Thank you,” he said, and she looked at him in surprise at the gratitude expressed.
“For what?”
“Thinking the best about me,” he explained. “I wasn’t sure that you ever would,” he said with a slight furrow to his brow. “I wasn’t sure that you’d ever be able to trust me again.”
“I wasn’t sure that I would do either,” she confessed. “But I do, Mitchell. I really do. I want to make things work,” she hazarded nervously and wrapped her arms more tightly around herself.
“I want that too. So much,” he said with so much want and emotion in his words that there was no way that she couldn’t believe him. “I want everything with you, Kendra,” he added, and she understood his meaning entirely. She could see it in his eyes. He didn’t just mean her physically, though she was almost certain that that was a part of it, but he wanted the whole of her emotionally as well.
As she nodded at him, she watched him studying her and found herself so overwhelmed by the confession that she wasn’t sure how to answer him.
“I’m not trying to rush you though,” he said cagily when she didn’t respond, and she looked at him in surprise before speaking at last.
“I have a lot of baggage, Mitchell. Right now I’m good, but I can’t guarantee that life will be smooth sailing,” she warned and watched him nod at her in understanding.
“I’m not naïve, Kendra,” he said. “I’m not expecting a rosy happy-ever-after where all of our problems are in the past, but nobody gets that. Everyone experiences trials and hardships. I know that, and so do you. But I don’t want to have to go through them with anyone else but you. I love you, Kendra, and you’re what I want,” he said, and she felt tears welling in her eyes.
“Come with me to my parents’ wedding,” she blurted out and watched as his eyes widened in surprise at her outburst.
“What?” he asked.
“Come with me,” she said more timidly. “I want you there. With me,” she added and held herself as he scanned her face, obviously judging her sincerity.
“Are you sure?” he checked, and she nodded. “Are you sure Howard will be okay with this?” he asked, and she thought on that seriously. Her dad had been furious with Mitchell and his actions, but he knew that she loved the man, knew that he was a part of her life. Her dad knew that if things progressed between the pair of them, that Mitchell would be a permanent part of his life.
If things progressed to where Kendra wanted them to go to, the man would be the father of her dad’s grandkids. At some point he’d have to accept Mitchell as a part of the family. But would he do it on his wedding day? Well, there was only one way to find out, and her mom had been supportive of the idea. Even if Howard had problems with it, Kendra’s mom would be able to talk him around on it all.
“No. I’m not,” she confessed and saw the sadness enter his eyes.
“Then, I don’t think –,” he tried but she interrupted him.
“But I still want you there,” she added.
“I don’t want to come between you two. I’ll still be here for you when you come back,” he reassured with a soft smile. A soft smile that didn’t hide the hurt he felt.
“Mitchell,” she said as she moved towards him and reached out to him, “he’s going to have to accept you at some point. My dad’s not an idiot, he knows what’s been happening with us. No, I’m not sure if he’s going to be happy about it, but he respects me and my decisions,” she explained. “Prove to me that you love me enough to do this for me. Prove to me that you can stick through the tough times at my side,” she implored and watched as a fire lit in his eyes.
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” he defended. “I just don’t want to hurt your bond with your dad.”
“My dad’s not going anywhere. Prove to him that you aren’t either. Prove it to me,” she added softly and watched as that fire flared up in him again.
“I’ll give you all the proof that you need,” he said roughly before he grabbed her to him firmly and reestablished the kiss that she’d interrupted.
Sighing with delight and melting into his embrace, she took his words to mean ‘yes’ and decided that he was right, they could discuss it all later on. Right now she was too busy enjoying the passion of the man she loved.
“If you can’t take care of the customers, I’m never gonna give you my diner,” a sharp voice interrupted, and Kendra sprang away from Mitchell in surprise and guilt. “Leave it for later, you two,” Betsy said with a shake of her head, but Kendra didn’t miss the soft smile on her face as she turned away. She also didn’t miss the mumbled comment that she shot at Mitchell as he sheepishly exited the kitchen past the woman.
“About damn time you showed that woman what you’re made of,” the woman teased, and Kendra smiled at that. She smiled even more widely when she realized that Betsy didn’t even realize how much Mitchell had really proved that to her.
Chapter Twenty-nine
For a fairly confident, independent, successful man, Mitchell was feeling ridiculously nervous at the moment. Nervous and also slightly desperate for acceptance. An odd occurrence, and one that he’d never really experienced before.
He’d never needed anyone’s approval to feel as though he was good enough before. In his career it had been different, he’d enjoyed and looked forward to critical praise. He’d relished in highly rated appraisals and end of year reviews. But he’d never needed a manager’s or superior’s good opinion to make him feel worthy enough, it had never been in doubt before.
Since meeting Kendra though he’d had his fair share of self-doubts, especially since losing and then regaining her. He’d never been so wary, so conscious of every decision he made. It wasn’t that he had any self-confidence issues, it was more that he was more aware of others and how his behavior would affect them.
Though things had changed since their embrace in the diner’s kitchen. Around Kendra that timidity that he’d been experiencing was slowly dissipating as he realized that she was accepting him, that she seemed just as eager to embark on a relationship as him.
It was more than their renewed physical connection as well. Though that was bolstering his confidence immeasurably, and her easy manner of falling into his arms always made him smile and feel ten feet tall, it was the fact that they were finally relaxing around each other.
Since trying again they’d been out together but hadn’t really been relaxed. The tension created by their physical attraction had been one factor, but the doubts that they’d each held about how serious each other was was another. With those behind them they were getting back to how things were before he’d messed up so much.
In actual fact, they’d gotten back and had now surpassed that point. With no more secrets and no more deceptions between them their relationship had grown immeasurably. It had
grown so much, in fact, that they were finally talking about the future together.
They’d sat down with Betsy and discussed their idea about taking over the diner from her permanently. The woman had been surprisingly amenable to the suggestion and although they had more minor details to sort through, by the time that he and Kendra returned back to Granville they’d finally be the legal owners of the small establishment.
Not only had that been settled, but they’d even taken time to think and discuss their personal opinions on a family. They’d talked about how many children they wanted, and in what sort of timeframe. They’d talked about the type of home they’d want to raise them all in, and had discussed the sorts of rules and structure that they’d have surrounding them as a family.
It was amazing how much of the future together they were planning. What was even more astounding about it all was the fact that they hadn’t actually discussed marriage yet. They were making plans with the assumption that they’d get married without ever having actually spoken about it at all.
Not that they wouldn’t. They most definitely would get married. Every time he had to pull himself from the brink of pushing Kendra too far physically was enough reason to want to wed her, but they loved each other as well. They had a life together to get started on. But he wasn’t going to ask and start on that course until he’d made some headway with her dad.
He’d been honest with Howard at the hospital, he was going to have Kendra with or without the man’s permission, but he’d much prefer to have her with it. As such he hadn’t gone down on one knee to the woman he loved yet. He also hadn’t bought a ring. That was more due to semantics though, Granville didn’t exactly have a wide array of jewelers for him to go to, and with his time working in the diner coupled with his time spent with Kendra he didn’t have any other opportunities to go to Jacksonburg or anywhere else larger to purchase one.
It was a shame that Betsy was recovering so quickly really, not that he wished the woman ill, but she hadn’t even had to travel anywhere for a check-up with the doctor. If she had, he’d have driven her and taken the opportunity to go shopping at that point.
As it was, however, he still didn’t have what he wanted. Though he was hoping to change that within the next couple of days. Travelling to the city with Kendra for Howard and her mom’s wedding meant that he had a wide array of vendors to go to to find the perfect ring.
He was sure that he’d have the chance as well. Kendra was her mom’s attendant, and the women were bound to have fittings or plans that they needed to go over together in that time. So when she was busy with wedding preparations he’d be able to go out to one of the many stores and finally get a ring, then he’d be able to actually propose to her. After he’d tried with her dad that was.
Mitchell was giving himself this one trip to get Howard Powers on his side and accepting of him, then he wouldn’t worry about it again. If he couldn’t sway Howard within this week, then he’d surge ahead with his own plans for the future regardless, and the man would just have to accept matters as they were.
He didn’t want that though. He wanted to be accepted, he wanted to ensure that he didn’t come between father and daughter, and he wanted them all to be a complete family unit. Not for himself, but for Kendra. She’d never had a proper family before, and he wanted that for her, wanted to make her happy with it all.
So that was why he was so nervous, that was why he was feeling a desperation at the moment. If he could get the man’s approval, then everything would be perfect, not just alright, but perfect for once in Kendra’s life.
“It always amazes me,” a soft voice said from the side, and Mitchell turned his head to look at Kendra sitting in the passenger seat of the rental car. They’d flown in and rented a vehicle to enable them to be more mobile while visiting, and Mitchell had already missed the quiet roads that were so typical of the area around Granville.
“What does?” he inquired as he pulled up in front of Howard Powers’ large home and switched off the ignition.
“Just that my father owns this,” she said in amazement, and Mitchell turned to study her in half amusement, half concern. When he saw her shake her head, and her arms remained free at her sides, he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her instead.
“We’ve never talked about it, have we?” he ventured, and she shrugged before focusing on him intently.
“I guess we haven’t.”
“You always thought he was a deadbeat, huh?” he asked and twisted in his seat to stare at her and get comfortable for the moment.
“I did,” she nodded. “And even when my mom told me who he was I don’t think I really allowed myself to think about it all. It didn’t really all sink in until I turned up here with him.”
“You’re overwhelmed by it all,” he surmised as he studied her face, and she shrugged again.
“I’m overwhelmed with the amount he has. It was difficult at the start to accept that he had so much when I grew up with so little, but you can’t change the past, and it was never his fault that he could have provided for us but didn’t.”
“Do you still blame your mom?” he asked in concern, and she shook her head.
“She had her own reasons. In her mind she did the right thing, and I can’t say that she was wrong for doing so. She did the best she could and what she thought was best for everyone. Life is what it is, and mine was what it was. Things are different now, and everybody’s starting to deal with the future instead of dwelling in the past.
“My mom is trying to fix her mistakes, my dad is trying to do what he can from this point on, and I’m just embracing everything that I’ve been given in the here and now,” she explained, and he smiled at that. She’d managed to overcome a lot of her prejudices and doubts in the past few months.
He was proud of her, and also grateful that she’d been able to overcome so many of the hang-ups she’d had. It was the reason that she’d been able to accept him again, after all.
“But I still find myself awestruck at the sight of it,” she said with a smile as she waved at the large structure.
“It’s certainly grand,” he admitted with his own smile.
“How often have you been here?” she asked in interest as she finally made to get out of the car, and Mitchell shrugged.
“Quite a few times, I suppose,” he mused. “Kind of used to come with the territory. I had a lot of errands to do for your dad. But I was never invited in as a guest, just as his employee. This is kind of a first for me,” he admitted and made his way to the trunk to get out their bags from there.
“Staying with Howard?” she asked, and he nodded.
“Well, yeah, but also meeting a girl’s parents. And of course staying at their house. But it’s a little more overwhelming knowing that your dad was my former employer as well as still being an incredibly powerful man,” he said with a smile aimed her way, and she looked surprised momentarily before smiling herself.
“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way,” she said. “My mom and I have always been close, friends really, and my dad still doesn’t exactly feel like a typical parent yet.”
“To be fair, with the age difference between your folks and me it doesn’t feel much like they’re parents as well,” he said as they made their way to the front door together.
Stopping on the threshold, Mitchell inhaled deeply as he stared at the grand doorway before looking over at Kendra who was studying him in concern.
“You’re nervous,” she stated, and he just nodded at her.
“Your dad and I didn’t exactly part on the best of terms,” he admitted, and she smiled ruefully at that.
“You’re here for me, not him,” she said, and he managed to smile widely at that.
“Even though I’m not going to be getting much time with you?” he asked, and she smiled back. “And even less time alone with you,” he added.
“Are you already starting to feel deprived?” she teased, and he chuckled at that.
�
��I’m used to us being around each other all day. And having our own space and freedom in the evenings together. That’s not likely to happen while we’re here,” he pointed out.
“No, it’s probably not,” she mused with a slight frown before a smile spread on her face and a twinkle entered her eyes. The look caught Mitchell off-guard and he stared at her in anticipation as he waited for what was about to happen.
“But we haven’t really arrived yet,” she pointed out, and he found his own smile widening.
“Haven’t we?” he asked with a raised brow, and she shook her head in the negative.
“No. We haven’t. Which means that for the moment we have some privacy,” she said, and he looked around himself with a skeptical look.
“You call this private?” he asked. “We’re in the wide open on your dad’s front step. Doesn’t feel very private to me.”
“I have a feeling it’s a bloody sight more private then we’re going to get for the rest of the visit,” she pointed out, and he dropped the bags before reaching over for her.
“Good point,” he murmured at her before reaching up and trailing his finger over her cheek and around her ear. The action caused her to suck in her breath sharply, and Mitchell smiled at the involuntary response. “I take it that we should make the most of our current situation then,” he said down at her and watched as she nodded breathlessly at him as her gaze locked onto his.
Bending down, he captured her lips with his gently and sighed at that familiar shock and burn that he always felt when he touched Kendra in any way. When she sighed in response and melted against him, he took the opportunity presented to him and grabbed her closer into his embrace.
As their mouths tangled with each other and his hands roamed in her hair while hers linked around his neck, Mitchell forgot everything except the woman in his arms and the fact that he was utterly in love with her.
Trying not to get carried away, he instead allowed his mouth to convey all the passion he felt for her while his hands tensed, along with the rest of him. It was getting so incredibly difficult to keep himself on track with Kendra, and he really hoped that her dad would soften to him on this visit, and that she wouldn’t mind a quick wedding.
Masks and Lies Page 29