“What? Why?” she asked in confusion and a small amount of hurt.
“He wasn’t divulging your secrets, Kendra,” Mitchell explained. “It was more a matter of him trying to point out to what extent I’d managed to mess up so spectacularly in caring for you.”
“He blamed you?” she asked incredulously.
“If you want the truth, yes. He pointed out that if I’d stepped in earlier two years ago, then it would most likely never have happened,” he said with a shrug. As much as he’d been angered by Howard’s accusations he hadn’t been able to deny the man’s logic at it all. He was right.
“He was wrong, Mitchell,” she said sternly. “I chose to drink. I chose to go to a bar that night. It wasn’t your responsibility to stop me. And to be frank I’d most likely have found my way back to another watering hole some other night anyway. You helped me,” she said sincerely, and Mitchell found himself speechless at her words.
“You took care of me that night,” she said, and he blushed guiltily. She must have noticed because she narrowed her eyes and asked, “What?”
“You should probably know a few things about that night as well,” he said with a wince and watched as she frowned at that.
“What do you mean?”
“Uh,” he said and stalled, trying to think how to explain it all.
“What did I do?” she asked with trepidation.
“Nothing bad,” he hastily reassured. “But you did try … well, you tried to …,” he said and shifted uncomfortably.
“What? Tried to do what?” she asked warily as her arms squeezed herself more tightly.
“You tried to get me to sleep with you, Kendra,” he finally confessed. “And I have to admit that I was tempted at the time. Very tempted. But I swear that nothing except a particularly heated make-out session occurred,” he clarified and watched as she stared at him, probably hoping to verify the truth of his words.
“How heated?” she inquired, and he winced again.
“Very,” he said uncomfortably.
“How much of my clothing stayed on?”
“All of it,” he hastily said. “Though,” he added with another wince, “that took a lot of willpower and persuasion on my behalf.”
“But, that was it?” she asked, and he nodded. He could see her running it all through her mind and sighed in relief when she nodded slowly with a soft ‘okay’. “Thanks for telling me,” she said, and Mitchell just shrugged.
“You deserved to know.”
“You should probably know that that never happened again,” she put forward, and he felt his brow furrow over what she meant. “The morning after kind of came as a wakeup call to me,” she explained. “When I awoke in a complete stranger’s house I freaked out. Especially when I couldn’t remember what had happened and how’d I’d gotten there. So I made sure never to experience the same thing. I won’t lie to you, Mitchell, I kissed my fair share of guys in bars, mainly as a way to get free drinks,” she confessed, and he appreciated her frank honesty, even if he didn’t like it. “But that was as far as it ever went. I never went any further and never ended up going off with a guy again. You should know that,” she repeated, and he nodded in acknowledgment of her words.
“We’ve gotten off track though,” she mumbled. “The fact still remains that I have an addiction. An addiction that I have to fight against every day. I think you should know that, Mitchell, and know what that means. I’m sorry that I lied to you as well,” she added before he could respond to her confession.
“Lied?” he asked with a puckered brow.
“I should have told you about my problem with alcohol before,” she said, and he shook his head at her. “Yes. I should have. And I should have told you why I wouldn’t go to Lucky’s that night,” she added.
“Kendra, it’s a personal matter. If you didn’t feel comfortable telling –”
“I was scared,” she interrupted. “Scared that it would affect the way you saw me, what you thought about me. I was scared that you’d run, or look at me in disappointment, or … or even disgust,” she said, and he found himself surprised at the supposition. “So I lied,” she continued.
“You never lied,” he defended.
“I never told you the truth though,” she pointed out, and he shrugged.
“I honestly have no idea what you were feeling, I can’t even imagine what it’s like, but I can only guess that it isn’t something you talk about freely with people. Keeping something so personal to yourself isn’t the same as lying, Kendra. I think if I hadn’t messed up, then you’d have told me in your own time,” he said.
“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. “But I should have given you an explanation that night.”
“You didn’t owe me anything.”
“I loved you. You deserved the truth,” she stated plainly, and he smiled ruefully at that.
“I wasn’t exactly doing a very good job of giving you that either though,” he pointed out, and she shrugged.
“But I didn’t know that at the time.”
“Kendra,” he said tenderly as he stared at her where she was wrapped in her own arms and avoiding eye contact. “It wouldn’t have changed what I thought of you,” he declared and watched as her head snapped back in his direction to study him closely.
“It must do,” she averred.
Mitchell thought on that and really considered what Kendra’s reliance on alcohol meant, what impact that knowledge had on his opinion of her, whether or not it really made a difference.
“Alright,” he said slowly as he finished analyzing what it meant. “You’re right. It does alter my opinion,” he said and watched as her face fell before she quickly rallied a timid smile.
“It’s a big –,” she tried magnanimously.
“But you’re wrong in how it’s altered,” he interrupted quickly. “My opinion of you isn’t lowered at all. If anything, it’s grown. The fact that you’ve dealt with such a problem on your own for so long is amazing, Kendra. Do you realize how strong you are? Do you realize how amazing you are?” he asked and watched as her mouth gaped open at his pronouncement.
“I don’t think less of you,” he continued. “It just raises you in my opinion. You don’t let it control you. The whole time we were together I never saw any indications that it had a hold over you, except for that last night together, and even then I didn’t even imagine what the real problem was. I thought you’d been attacked there. Thought maybe you were reluctant to go back to where someone had hurt or scared you.
“I don’t know what you go through as a daily struggle. I only know what I can see, and what I see is a strong woman who doesn’t give in to whatever you’re feeling, and instead goes about her daily life as though nothing’s the matter. You’re a truly remarkable woman, Kendra Wilcox.”
“You should know,” she said and swallowed hard, “that I almost gave in that night,” she said quietly.
“I know.”
“You know?” she asked in confusion.
“Betsy couldn’t find you and called me. I figured the only other place for you to head to in Granville would be Lucky’s at that time of night. I went there to find you.”
“In case you needed to rescue me again,” she mused sadly.
“To make sure that you were okay. I was worried. You’d been so opposed to going there earlier in the night that I didn’t think anything good could come of you turning up there. It was my fault, after all, and I felt responsible. I also cared about you not to let any harm come to you.”
“Jeff wouldn’t serve me though,” she confessed.
“Granville’s a good town.”
“I hated him at the time.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m grateful. He was right that I’d thank him in the morning,” she said with a small smile which lasted only seconds before she frowned again. “I didn’t see you.”
“I was in my car outside when you came out,” he said and watched as she thought on that before her ey
es widened again.
“You saw –”
“You and Growling Bear? Yes. I did.”
“Nothing happened,” she quickly said then blushed as he stared at her. “I tried. You should know that. But he’s a good friend.”
“He cares about you. Enough to do what’s best for you,” Mitchell added, and Kendra nodded. “I’m not angry, Kendra. I don’t even blame you. And I’m glad that he was there for you. I wish it had been me helping, but that would never have happened. I’ll admit that I was incredibly jealous, and yes, I guess a part of me still is that he was so instrumental to helping you out, but I’m also incredibly grateful that you had such an honorable man there to help you at the time.
“Notaku and I have gotten over it, and although he never told me what happened that night I know that he’d never lie to me, and he’d never try to be my friend and encourage me to try for you again if he wasn’t being sincere.
“I had no rights to you at that point, Kendra,” he said, and she continued to stare at him, taking in all his words. “You weren’t disloyal, you weren’t betraying me, and I’m aware of that completely,” he finished and watched as she continued to study him closely.
“Yes,” she said slowly and quietly. “Yes, I think I’d very much like to get to know Mitchell Astley,” she declared, and Mitchell was taken by surprise before smiling softly at her.
“And I’d very much like to let you,” he said and watched her smile shyly at him as well. When her arms finally loosened from their grip around her waist, Mitchell smiled even more widely.
They’d get to know each other again, and they had all the time in the world to do so.
Chapter Twenty-eight
“Have you asked him yet?”
Kendra’s head snapped up to see Notaku standing next to the kitchen doorway at the diner and she smiled at her friend while shaking her head.
“Why not?” he asked with a frown, and she shrugged. “Don’t you want him to go with you?” he tried, and Kendra sighed.
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“What’s the matter?” Notaku asked in concern, and Kendra thought over his question before resigning herself to talk to the man about it. He’d gotten to know Mitchell pretty well in the couple of months that she’d been with her dad and might have some answers for her.
“Nothing specifically,” she started and watched as he just waited patiently for her to continue. “It’s just that we’ve been going out together almost every night for almost two weeks now, and we see each other during the day as well,” she said in explanation and watched as Notaku continued to look at her for an explanation.
“Well, you do work together,” he pointed out. Mitchell was still waiting tables, and Kendra had taken over the cooking while Betsy recuperated. In fact, it looked as though that might be how things turned out long-term.
As reluctant as Betsy had been about giving up her work in the place, she’d finally started to enjoy having her own time to rest. She came in every day to socialize and check up on the pair of them, but that seemed to be as much as she needed. Kendra and Mitchell had discussed the possibility of taking over the place long-term, and Kendra knew that Mitchell had even broached the subject with Betsy herself.
The fact that the older woman hadn’t automatically decried it all seemed indicative of the fact that she might be amenable to the idea herself. But for the moment, the pair of them were just working together as Betsy’s employees. Kendra enjoyed it, or at least she would do if she weren’t so uncertain about the man’s feelings for her.
He’d said that his opinion hadn’t changed after finding out about her alcoholism, but things were different than she’d expected.
Focusing back on the man opposite instead of thinking of the one she loved, she continued with explaining her doubts.
“But he doesn’t seem as interested as he did before,” she finally said aloud and watched as amusement flashed in the man’s eyes opposite her.
“Really?” Notaku asked in amusement. “You don’t think he’s interested?”
“I mean, we go out and we talk, but, Growling Bear, that’s all that happens,” she lamented and watched the man try to hide his smile. He wasn’t doing a very good job, and she just glared at him before he lost his battle, smiled widely, and chuckled lowly at her.
Leaning forward, he ruffled her hair, shook his head, and just walked out of the kitchen still chuckling to himself.
Kendra stood there stunned at his abrupt departure and tried to figure out what his amusement signified. If he knew something, why hadn’t he shared his opinion with her? What did he know that she didn’t?
While she was musing over her friend’s actions she was surprised to see Mitchell enter the kitchen.
“Growling Bear said you wanted to see me,” he said, and Kendra took in the man in front of her. As much as she’d been in love with him before everything had happened, she was very much more so now. With her being open, and him having no more secrets, everything was different, more relaxed, this time around. And everything was better.
Except for the physical distance between them. Except for the fact that he hadn’t made any sort of move to hold her, to kiss her, to even so much as take her hand in his. There had been absolutely no contact between the pair of them at all, it was almost as though he was desperate to avoid her touch. A very different scenario to how they’d been before. Before, he was constantly touching her in any little way that he could.
Looking at him now, she found herself frowning. What had changed between them? She was still incredibly attracted to him. Maybe even more so as her feelings had deepened. But he didn’t seem interested in her in the least.
But Notaku didn’t seem to believe that. So what did that mean? What was she missing?
Ignoring her circling thoughts and instead focusing on the fact that the man in question was standing in her kitchen staring at her and waiting for whatever instruction she supposedly had, Kendra shook her head and wondered why Growling Bear had sent the man in to her.
“I didn’t ask him to send you through,” she finally replied and watched as his brow furrowed in confusion.
“He said that ‘Kendra wants you’,” Mitchell mused, and Kendra flushed at the implication in the words. She’d wondered why Notaku would lie, it would have been the first time he ever had, but the man hadn’t. She did want Mitchell, just not in his capacity as serving staff for the diner. Instead she wanted him as a man.
As he focused back on her and noticed her flushed face and wide eyes, she saw him raise a brow at her and her reaction. As she stood there silent in front of him and wrapping her arms around herself, she finally saw the penny drop as his eyes widened slightly and a slight flash of fire entered them.
“Oh,” he finally mumbled, and Kendra searched about inside her brain for something to say to that. “Kendra wants you, huh?” he mused, and she finally found her voice working again.
“I didn’t … I mean I … well, the thing is … bloody hell,” she stumbled then came to a stuttering stop as he neared her purposefully. Kendra would have backed away from him if she weren’t frozen in place with a mixture of embarrassment and anticipation.
“Kendra wants you,” he murmured again, and she jumped at the shock that she felt when his hands landed on her waist. As that familiar heat that burned through her whenever Mitchell had touched her started to roar to life through her body, she found her breathing coming in shallow and fast. “At last,” he breathed before his head descended towards hers and she found herself swept away by an incredibly firm and forceful kiss.
Relishing in the familiarity that was this man’s kiss, Kendra found her eyes closing, her hands gripping his shirt front, and her body going lax against his. Bloody hell she’d missed this. As the kiss continued, her hands moved upwards to wrap around his neck and she felt herself pulled up tightly against him as his hands moved from her waist to burn a trail to her back.
Hanging on to him for all she was worth,
she almost moaned when she finally delved into his thick hair again. Notaku deserved a chocolate pie for initiating this.
With the reminder that it had taken the other man to spur them into action, Kendra reluctantly broke away, wanting an explanation for why it had taken Mitchell so long to get to this point again.
“Mitchell,” she mumbled as he kept her close to him and focused on kissing down her neck instead.
“Mmmm?” he said against her skin as his own hands delved into her hair, and she shivered at the action.
“Mitchell, I’ve got a question for you,” she said breathlessly and heard him growl slightly as he continued to ravish her neck and shoulders before making his way back up to her mouth.
“Later,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her deeply again.
As much as she was reluctant to argue with the man and stop their current course of action, she couldn’t quite banish the question from her mind.
“Mitchell,” she tried once more and went to push him away from her. At the movement he stilled immediately and raised his head to look into her eyes directly. She could see a question and an almost fear lurking there and wondered what it meant.
Stepping away from him, she saw him straighten up and try to straighten himself out nervously. Glancing around himself, he shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat before speaking.
“I’m sorry. I assumed that –”
“You assumed right,” she interrupted hastily. She hadn’t expected the apology, but obviously he was worried that he’d made a mistake, misread something in the situation, pushed her into something that she wasn’t ready for.
At the thought she suddenly realized what had been happening between the two of them. He’d been giving her time, waiting for a sign from her. A sign she hadn’t given him, not wanting to push him like she had done the first time between them. She’d hoped he’d come to her on his own, but apparently that wouldn’t have happened without her sending a signal first.
“I wanted this, Mitchell. I’ve wanted this for weeks. Months even. Didn’t you know that?” she asked sincerely and watched as he shrugged.
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