Every Kiss You Steal: A Redeeming Love Novel (Book 7)

by Parker, J. E.

  "I didn't say that I don't like him," she replied, dropping her hands. "I said I don't approve of him. There is a big ol' difference."

  That made no sense to me.

  At all.

  "I realize I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed at times, but I don't get it. If you like him, then why don't you approve of him?"

  She shrugged. "Because he's not good enough for you. It's as simple as that." I opened my mouth to reply, but she kept talking, not giving me the chance. "And before you get your panties in a twist, let me just say this—it doesn't matter how good a man is, he will never be good enough for you. Not in my eyes, and certainly not in your father's."

  Her response warmed my heart, but at the same time, I felt like I'd been gut-punched.

  "That's not true," I quickly retorted. "If anything, Chase is—"

  I snapped my mouth closed when Anthony suddenly appeared in my doorway, a solemn expression on his handsome face. It was a far cry from the seething anger that had possessed his every feature an hour before. "You got a minute?"

  Eyes narrowed, I thinned my lips, annoyed as could be. I may love the man more than words could ever say, but I was so upset with him.

  Not because he'd reacted so harshly to seeing Chase and me kiss, but because he'd wrongly assumed that I'd been easily talked into doing something I shouldn't.

  Given my past, I understood his rush to judgment, but that didn't dull the sting his words had created. And right or wrong, deep down, I couldn't help but wonder if my entire family thought I was stupid for ending up with Dominic in the first place.

  They never acted like they did, but after today...

  Well, I wasn't sure what to think.

  "Ashley." Shelby softly tapped my arm, pulling me from the mess of tangled thoughts consuming me. "Sugar, answer your father."

  I swallowed, unsure of what he was about to say. "Yes," I replied, teetering on the edge of a breakdown. "I've got a minute."

  Crossing the room like Shelby had done minutes before, he came to a stop in front of me and slid his hands into his pockets. "I was wrong," he said, unexpectedly, knocking me off-kilter. "The way I reacted earlier was out of line, and the things I said weren't okay."

  Shelby's eyes narrowed. "Did you just really just admit that you were wrong?' Cause if so, then I need to run downstairs and alert the media since this is breaking news and all."

  A ghost of a smile played on Anthony's lips.

  Ignoring Shelby, he continued. "Seeing Chase kiss you"—he paused—"it broke my heart."

  Once again, I didn't understand.

  I swear confusion was an ongoing theme for me.

  "Why did it break your heart?"

  He glanced at Shelby before meeting my gaze once more. "Because, Principessa, I just got you. And I'm not ready to lose you to another man, much less a hot-headed teenage boy."

  His words...

  They stirred something inside me, and if I hadn't known better, I could've sworn that one of my many broken pieces snapped back into place.

  "You're not going to lose me. I mean, it's not like I'm getting married. I only kissed him once—"

  "You kissed him?" Shelby interrupted, wide-eyed.

  I bit my lower lip and nodded.

  "Well, hells bells," she said, borrowing one of Grandmama's favorite phrases. "Didn't see that one coming." Smacking Anthony's arm, she glared in his direction. "Why didn't you tell me that she kissed him instead of the other way around, Stud Muffin? If I had known that, I wouldn't have come up and interrogated our poor girl. Men, I swear..."

  I erupted into laughter.

  Anthony, though, he scowled. "I still don't like it. Don't like him either."

  It was Shelby's turn to crack up. "Of course, you don't." Hands on her hips, she pursed her gloss-coated lips. "So, I guess now isn't a good time to tell you that he's downstairs playing with Lucca, huh?" Mischief twinkling in her eyes, she added, "And by him, I mean Chase."

  Heart slamming against my rib cage, I froze.

  Chase was downstairs?

  With my little brother?

  Hearing that made me all sorts of happy.

  "What?" Anthony snapped, his face swinging in Shelby's direction. "What the hell do you mean he's downstairs?"

  Shelby's smile grew. "He knocked on the door a few minutes ago and said he was upset about what happened earlier. I threatened to castrate him on the spot, but he flat-out refused to leave until I let him visit with Ashley. Said he wanted to see for himself that she was alright, and since you were busy pouting in your office over God only knows what, I figured it was as good as time as any to let him in. Ya know, especially since I didn't know if I needed to kill him yet or not."

  Oh for heaven's sake!

  "Nobody is killing Chase." I looked from one parent to the next, projecting as much fierceness as I could muster, which admittedly wasn't much. "He's a good guy, and I kind of..."

  I fidgeted in place, scared half to death to say what I needed to.

  Buck up, Chiquita, a familiar voice in my head said. Say the words.

  Comfort mixed with the feeling of soul-shattering loss swept through me. Miss you, Carmen. Jade too, I mentally replied, fighting to hold it together. More than you possibly know.

  Taking a deep breath, I channeled my inner sass, or what little of it I possessed. Then, I did as Carmen's ghostly voice demanded and said the words I needed to. "Listen, y'all, I like Chase, and even though neither of you do, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't murder him in the living room."

  My father scowled. "Not making any goddamn promises."

  "Well," I said, flicking my hair back over my shoulder. "That's the best I can ask for."

  Jaw ticking, he shook his head before nodding toward the door. "Go check on your friend. Christ knows, your brother may have him duct-taped to the wall by now."

  I didn't need to be told twice.

  After kissing both my parents on the cheek, I took off. Darting out of my room, I ran down the hall and bounded down the wooden stairs. Reaching the bottom, I turned and bolted into the living room.

  There, I found Chase, seated in the middle of the sofa with Lucca snuggled into his side, his strong arm holding my little brother close. A movie played on the flatscreen—Shrek, I think—but I paid whatever they were watching no mind.

  Instead, my eyes were focused on them.

  Looking back, I think it was right then, at that very moment, that I lost a huge piece of my heart to Chase Jacobs.

  It was the first of many...

  And one I'd never get back.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ashley

  Six Weeks Later

  It was a typical Saturday afternoon at the Toluca City Mall, the place Heidi, Carissa, and I found ourselves bouncing from one store to the next, and every one of them was packed

  And I mean packed.

  I swear I couldn't move a foot in any one direction without bumping into someone. For me, a person who literally couldn't stand to be touched most of the time, it wasn't an ideal situation.

  But I was coping.

  Well, best as I could.

  Truthfully, I was so busy keeping my body wedged between Carissa and Heidi's frames that I hardly noticed when a stray arm or hand came too close for comfort. It was a blessing because let's face it, the last thing I wanted to do was nosedive headfirst into a panic-driven meltdown in the middle of the mall.

  A mall where, apparently, everyone in the tri-county area was busy shopping.

  "For goodness sake," Heidi grumbled, dodging a group of girls that looked to be around middle school age. Busy giggling and staring at a trio of boys by the food court, they were standing stock-still, smack dab in the middle of our path.

  Swooping and swerving, we navigated past them.

  "Too bad your football star boyfriend isn't here," Carissa said, stepping the slightest bit in front of me to shield my body from a man who was walking a tad too close, his gaze locked on a brightly colored storefront w
indow to the left. "He could just plow through everybody for us."

  My brows rose. "I don't have a boyfriend."

  Carissa looked at me, her blue eyes twinkling. "You sure about that, Ashley Jo?"

  Was I sure? No, not really.

  As silly as it sounded, I didn't have the slightest clue what Chase and I were. We hadn't exactly labeled our relationship. And we'd hadn't been on an official date or anything and other than a single kiss, one which I'd stolen, and a half dozen hugs, he hadn't touched me either.

  It was both disappointing and relieving.

  Disappointing because he'd made no move to take things to the next level with me. It made little sense because him acting like a true gentleman in that regard should have been a good thing. But with my bottom of the barrel self-esteem, I spent half my time second-guessing whether he genuinely had those types of feelings toward me or not.

  It was ridiculous.

  Especially considering that the dark part of my psyche—the place where I fought to keep my demons locked away—felt nothing more than relief over the fact that he hadn't tried to touch me like that.

  A simple kiss on the lips had been one thing, even if said kiss had turned my world upside down, but I wasn't ready for a whole lot more. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd gladly accept his mouth on mine once more, but as for full-blown sex?

  That was a big fat nope.

  Trust me, I'd fantasized about what it would feel like to have Chase touch me intimately—more than once—but when my mind went there, my skin would begin to burn as panic roiled to life in my belly.

  It happened each time, without fail.

  And I hated it.

  Despite knowing that my reaction was normal given my past, I still feared that he would leave me, writing me off forever, if I didn't find a way to conquer the demons that came out to play whenever I imagined baring my body to him for the first time.

  In my heart I didn't believe he'd walk away over such a thing, but the problem was, my brain had a hard time believing anything my heart said; especially since it had led me astray the day I made the damning choice to put my trust in Dominic after a handful of well-delivered, albeit phony, promises.

  Because of him, every touch that my body had endured since I arrived in Georgia, had been taken without permission. And because of my mother and her horrific choice in men, I'd learned what it felt like to have my innocence forcibly stolen from me when I was nothing more than a child.

  Both truths made me absolutely sick.

  "Earth to Ashley." Heidi's unique voice pulled me out of the heart-wrenching fog encapsulating me. "Did you hear me?"

  Brows furrowed, I looked directly at her and shook my head. "No," I said. "What did you say?"

  Being moderately deaf meant Heidi had a hard time understanding what was being said in loud settings where her hearing aids struggled to filter out background noise.

  Ya know, like the crowded mall.

  Because of that, Carissa and I both made sure to look at her when we spoke, giving her the chance to read our lips, a skill she thankfully possessed since, unlike C, I didn't know sign language.

  It was a problem I was working to correct.

  After Heidi and I started spending so much time together, she'd quickly become the closest thing I had to a best friend. Because of that, I figured learning ASL was something I should do.

  So that's what I was working on.

  One sign at a time.

  Smacking my arm, she grabbed my attention once more. "Do you need to borrow my hearing aids?" Before I could aim a sassy remark her way, she smirked and then pointed to the other end of the mall. "Just look over there, Dimples."

  Dimples...

  I loved it when she called me that.

  More than curious as to what she wanted me to see, I followed the trajectory of her finger. When I who she was pointing at, I almost came out of my skin.

  Chase...

  "He's here," I whispered, heart pounding as I drank in every inch of him, starting at the top of his blond head and ending at the tips of his sneaker covered toes. Dressed in a pair of loose, grey sweats that hung low—not to mention, just right—on his lean hips, along with a fitted white t-shirt that hugged his chiseled chest and strong shoulders, he looked enticingly beautiful and beyond tempting.

  Coming from me, that was saying something.

  "Careful, Ashley Jo," Carissa teased. "You're starting to drool." Dabbing her finger against the corner of her mouth, she added, "Right about here."

  Wide-eyed, I shook my head, my unwavering focus traveling right back to Chase. "I don't even care," I replied, mouth suddenly drier than the Sahara. "I mean, look at him."

  Laughing, Heidi jumped in front of me and turned. Walking backward—seriously, the girl was nuts—she dropped her eyes to my lips. "Did you tell him we'd be here?"

  I shook my head. "No."

  "Huh," she replied with a half-hearted shrug. "Wonder how he found out then?"

  Brow arched, Carissa shot her little sister a look that screamed, are you kidding me?

  "What?" Heidi asked, reading said look easily. "You know something we don't?"

  "Oh come on, y'all," C said, rolling her eyes. "You both know exactly how he found out."

  "We do?" I asked, clearly confused.

  Carissa nodded. "Yes, you do."

  "Uh," I said, the wheels in my head spinning a million miles per hour. "Could someone fill me in then because, as per usual, I have no idea what's going on." As soon as the last word left my lips, a lightbulb went off, stopping my brain from frying itself like an egg in a cast-iron skillet. "The Crazy Old Biddy told him."

  It wasn't a question.

  It was a statement.

  Other than my parents, Grandmama was the only person who knew where I'd be, and with the way she rode Chase to watch out for me—something I'd only recently learned—I knew without a doubt that she'd likely called him the minute I jumped into the back of Carissa's car.

  Not that our trip had been a secret or anything.

  If I'd thought it could've been pulled off without causing the Dadinator to stroke out, I would've made arrangements for Chase to ride with us from the get-go. But, needless to say, after witnessing first-hand his reaction to our kiss, I'd thought better of it.

  Despite him extending an olive branch of sorts over the past couple of weeks, he—nor the Mominator for that matter—approved of Chase and I becoming... well, whatever it was that we were becoming.

  While Shelby stood by her opinion that he wasn't good enough for me, with Anthony, it was different. I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly, but deep down, I knew there was something more driving his dislike of Chase.

  That much was clear.

  At least to me.

  "Are you going to talk to him?" Heidi asked, still walking backward. "Or are you just planning on gawking at him all day? I know he's cute and all, but heaven's girl, if you don't go chat him up, some other hussy will."

  My right eye twitched.

  I didn't like the sound of that at all.

  "I'm going to talk to him," I said, feeling my blood pressure rise. "You two wanna come?"

  Readjusting the bags she held, Carissa shook her head. "No, we'll give you guys some privacy." Lifting one hand, she pointed to the crowded food court. "We'll be in there somewhere. Probably near the pretzel stand. Come find us whenever you're ready." Tossing a sweet smile my way, she added, "And bring the jock with you. I kinda like him."

  I kinda liked him too.

  Well, there was no kinda too it.

  Because my feelings for Chase were big.

  After waving at both girls, I quickly turned right, breaking away from them. Giving each person that I passed a wide-berth, I high-tailed it to the opposite end of the mall where I'd seen the most handsome boy I'd ever laid eyes on standing just moments before.

  When only twenty feet separated me from said spot, my skin prickled with awareness, just like it did each time he was close.

&n
bsp; At my approach, he looked up.

  When our eyes locked through the sea of bodies stretching between us, I swear to the heaven's above that my heart skipped a beat—or two.

  Unable to control the excitement crackling in my chest, along with the need to be closer to him, I moved faster, nearly doubling my pace.

  He smiled as I gained ground, giving me a glimpse of his white and perfectly straight teeth. "Sweetness," he said, his deep timbre sending shivers racing down my spine. "It's about time you found—"

  Wanting to feel his warmth against me, I practically slammed my body into his and wrapped my arms around his back the very second he was within touching distance. He grunted and stumbled backward, the force of impact momentarily knocking him off balance.

  "Christ, beautiful," he said, chuckling. "You hit harder than most defensive ends."

  I had no idea what a defensive end was, but I'd tackle him a million times if it meant that I got to spend more time together as we were right then—with my arms wrapped around him, and him holding me tight in return.

  Sliding one strong hand into my silky hair, he gently tugged on my chocolate-colored locks, silently urging me to tilt my head back.

  It was a request which I obliged.

  His lips immediately found my cheek, and my eyes slid closed on their own accord in response. "Chase," I whispered as he leaned down, gently touching his forehead to mine. "What are you doing?"

  Removing his hand from my hair, he lightly trailed his fingers down my spine, ghosting them over my heated flesh before resting his palm on my lower back. "I'm about to do something I should've already done," he whispered, dipping his face closer to mine. "After all, turnabout is fair play."

  I had no idea what he was talking about.

  I didn't really care either.

  Not as long as he continued to touch me, each sensual move was softer and more heart-stopping than the last. It was such a stark contrast to the way I normally felt, but right then, I didn't care to analyze my shift in feelings.

  I just wanted Chase to come closer.

  Much to my surprise.