The Sheikh's Secret

by Knight, Kylie

  There was always an odd glow on the horizon over the water, a thin scrim of light that seemed to suggest that there was something bigger out there, more glamorous, better. They walked side by side, leaning into each other for warmth as much as for the company, and the reassurance that the other was still there. “I leave for London tomorrow,” he said, as they walked.

  “Do you have to?” she asked.

  “I need to defend my thesis soon,” he said. “And I have a committee meeting next week.”

  “You could stay.”

  “You could come with me.”

  But somehow, they both knew that he would not stay, and she would not leave. Living their lives for someone else was something they’d both tried, and they both discovered that it could never work. They weren’t ready for the kinds of sacrifices that people made in the name of love, and yet he found himself wondering—maybe, just maybe, he could be ready for this. He’d refused his father’s pleas to take a wife because he’d have been living based on what his father had said was right—but now, he was doing what he felt was right.

  He was aware of how silly this all was. Falling in love, this hard and this fast, just wasn’t realistic. This couldn’t be real. And yet, her body was warm against his, and the look in her eyes as they walked on the sand together, letting the warm water kiss their feet, was open and calm.

  “It could work,” she said, absently, after a while. So she’d been thinking the same things, too.

  “Could it?” he asked. “If I lose my trust fund, it’s going to get a whole lot harder to fly back here.”

  “Why would you lose your trust fund?” she began, but then she cut herself off and just shook her head. “The king seems like such a nice guy on the news,” she said.

  “He’s as nice as any other man with nearly-unlimited wealth could be,” Bashir said. “And he’s not inclined to forgive the fact that I’ve spurned all of the ‘suitable matches’ he’s found for me over the past few years—and if I bring you home—”

  “I don’t want to be a source of contention between you and your father,” she said, quickly.

  “You would have been a source of contention anyway,” he said. “Because I chose you, not him. You could literally fulfill all of the criteria for the perfect wife and he would still hate you because I picked you, not him.”

  “Parents are so weird like that,” she said.

  “They are,” he agreed. “It’s like, they raised us, but they don’t know who we are or what makes us happy.”

  “So what makes you happy, o Prince?” she asked, teasingly.

  He had to stop and think about that—it’d never occurred to him to ask himself that question before. “You know, I don’t know,” he said, stunned. “I like my thesis and I like doing the research and I like living in England, but there’s no burning need to do that, no ‘If I can’t do that then I’ll die’ sensation. Is that what happiness is? Do you know what makes you happy?” he asked.

  “I always figured that I’d know it when I find it,” she said, squeezing his hand. “And I’m pretty sure I’m right.”

  He turned to face her, fighting down an urge to kiss her out of gratitude-someone who understood him, who knew what it was like to have to face these kinds of pressures. That wouldn’t be proper—it’s just a first date—

  She leaned up and kissed him.

  Her kiss was soft, sensual, leaving a lingering warmth when she stopped. He didn’t want it to stop—he went after her with his mouth, wanting to taste more of that delicate softness, to feel her warmth against the cool of the night breeze. Her lips tasted of honey and wine, sweet, intoxicating—the skin on her face was soft and dewy, like velvet, and her breath was a sweet warmth against his lips.

  “No,” he said, hoarsely. “It’s not proper.”

  “Screw proper,” she murmured. “Do you want this or not?”

  Her arms wrapped around his chest and she pressed herself against him. Their bodies pressed against each other, hot with desire. “I want you,” he said, hoarsely. “I just don’t think—”

  “Then stop,” she whispered. “Stop thinking. We have so little time together. If we start thinking about what we’re doing we’ll never get around to doing it.”

  “I don’t know if I even like you—”

  “What do you feel?” she asked.

  That was when he knew for sure: he felt her passion rise through him, and it felt like he unleashed a flood of need: a need to be free, a need to love her and taste her and kiss her and touch her and know her the way he’d never thought a woman could be known. The desire did not feel like sacrilege—it felt like getting to understand the mind and word of the divine, as if just knowing that he felt this desire brought him one step closer to understanding God.

  Her body was soft against his, her skin creamy and smooth under his hands. He felt tendrils of her hair coiling against his cheek—she’d taken off her headscarf, and her hair was floating freely in the sea breeze, tantalizing and seductive. The waves kissed their feet, washing the sand out from under their feet, anchoring them in the desert, under the stars, while his mind floated, reveling in the abandon with which they were touching each other, now—how free, how incredible.

  It was a gift. Seeing the smooth skin of her shoulders as she slipped through the jeweled collar of her dress was like unwrapping something that was made of pure goodness and light. In the light of the moon her body was exquisite, not just because she was willing, but because she was beauty—and he understood now, as he watched her delicate fingers tug at the buttons on his shirt, that beauty was not just about the proportion of her breasts to her waist, but about giving him the gift of her body, allowing him to indulge his senses in the smell of her. There was, underneath the scent of her perfume, a sweet clean smell—a delicious smell, one that stoked a fiery warmth in him that he’d never felt before.

  This is what it is like to love someone.

  The sand was still warm as they lay down on it, their hands exploring each other’s bodies, pressing on the skin, feeling the slight pulse that thumped underneath, feeling the rhythm trip and skip with excitement as they gulped for air and each other. Her legs were as smooth as silk, and the erotic promises they whispered as they coiled around his sent shivers of excitement through his body. Her eyes, deep pools of inky darkness in the moonlight, drew him in—he felt as if he was falling, and his body was acting of its own accord when he took her, and how exquisitely soft and warm she was.

  He was falling, he could feel it now. He was falling and she was the promise of safety. In that secret smile of hers, he was lost—adrift in a sensation of wonder and marvel that a woman like her could make him feel this good.

  They moved together, their bodies slowly grinding against the sand in time with the waves lapping the beach. He could feel her writhing under his body, wave-like, in time with the pulses of pleasure surging through him. They were one, their bodies in perfect synchrony, each one knowing what the other was doing, and as he looked into her eyes he felt as if he were looking into a mirror of himself—as if she were the reflection of his passions, brought to life.

  The sensation that he was falling intensified. He was faintly aware that they were moving faster, now—but mostly he was aware that her breathing had changed, the subtle pulses he could feel through her body had quickened, and her fingers were digging into the flesh on his back and sides. He felt a desperation, a need—the pressure that he hadn’t been aware of was suddenly overwhelming, and he needed to let it go. He had to let it out—he needed a release more than he needed air. She felt it, too. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in the urgency that she was twisting against him with.

  He felt her body close against him, suddenly, and in response he went in deeper. He wasn’t finished yet—didn’t she know that? Didn’t she know how much he needed her? Didn’t she know—

  —how sweet the release was? How perfectly the heat of their bodies countered the coolness of the air? Did she know, as the release c
ame, how beautiful the whole thing was? How he felt at one with the universe in that moment? That he could feel each and every last grain of sand on the beach—that for a moment he was every last grain of sand, he was every last star, casting their twinkling glows down upon them, celebrating their union? This was perfection—

  This was love.

  ***

  “Come see me tomorrow,” she said, when he took her back to her apartment.

  “You can come with me,” he said. “You won’t need to go through immigration, you know?”

  She smiled sadly and shook her head. “I don’t want to go back to the UK,” she said. “There’s too many bad memories there.”

  For the second time, he was tempted to ask her what she meant, with bad memories. But he didn’t want to push his luck just yet. “Well, we can make new ones, together. Drive them out.”

  Melinda offered him a cup of tea, but they both knew that it was just a polite gesture at this time of night. He would have to go back, now—he might be a man of twenty-eight but he did need to return his father’s car and reassure the man that he had not been out whoring and drinking. It was strange, he thought as he got back in the car, how whoring and drinking seemed almost inconsequential in Amsterdam, but when he was with Melinda, it felt like an insult to call it merely “whoring and drinking”. They’d shared something real, a connection. It wasn’t just sex anymore. It was—

  “Love,” he breathed, as he drove back to the royal palace.

  The valet nearly wet himself with relief when he showed up at the garage with the Bugatti—intact, without a scratch, as he’d promised. He could understand why the man had been so nervous: some twenty years ago, his older brother Malakar had taken their father’s new Ferrari 360 for a ride. Malakar had driven the older Ferrari Datyona—the one with “only” 350 peak horsepower—without incident several times and he’d assumed that the newer one was much the same. The car had not ended well—and neither had Malakar, who’d been forced to buy their father a new one. It meant that Malakar had had to go for three years with just half of his trust money.

  Bashir couldn’t help but grin as he recalled the years Malakar had spent grumbling about having to pay their father back. He’d had to chauffeur his brother around during most of those three years, and they’d become close. There was something about driving that invited them to open their hearts to each other. It was during these rides that he’d first heard about love and duty, honor and loyalty—not as part of a lecture being given by his father, but from one brother being “requested” to marry someone he barely knew to another. Bashir would have shared the same fate except for the fact that he was the baby and his mother had insisted that he be free to choose who he wanted to marry—a fact that no doubt rankled his older siblings.

  At that time, it’d seemed fair to him—he was so far down the chain of succession, and his portion of the trust fund was the smallest, by far. The only luxury he’d been afforded was having Misha with him in London, and that was mostly because his father wished to “protect his investment”, which was what he considered Bahshir’s degree.

  But now, now that he’d fallen head-over-heels in love with Melinda, he finally understood the enormity of the privilege that had been extended to him. He could go on dates with her, get to know her without the legal confines of marriage, have a chance to discover what made him happy. For someone whose life so far had been muddling along, doing stuff because he could and because it seemed interesting, to suddenly have a chance to discover who he truly was inside was like waking up one day to discover that the sun rose in the west.

  He needed to talk about this. He wanted to find Miriam and ask her what she thought of it all—but he didn’t think she’d be willing to see him after he told her that he’d been out on a date with a caterer. His father—well, he could forget talking with him. Marrying the woman who’d once threatened to destroy their family was not indicative of sound judgment in matters of the heart.

  Bashir took off his shoes and crept through the house silently in his socks. He didn’t want to run into his father or Alya, and Miriam would probably be asleep by now. The only people that were awake at this hour were the guards, and he didn’t need one of them accidentally sounding the alarms.

  He made it to his suite unnoticed, and stepped inside, sighing with relief. He turned on the lights—

  “You’re late,” said Misha.

  Bashir jumped. He had not expected to see him in his suite, but there was the bodyguard, as immovable and as stone-like as ever. Has he been sitting in the dark, waiting for me to come home? Bashir hung up his jacket. “Didn’t one of the servants set you up in the guest quarters?” he asked.

  “Yes, and it’s quite nice,” Misha said. “But your father was worried about you.”

  “So worried he sent you to ask if I was all right?” Bashir asked, pointedly, wondering why his father seemed to think that Misha was apparently better at being a father than he was.

  “You’ve made it clear to him that you want nothing to do with him,” said Misha. “He’s acceded to your wishes, and so sends me instead.”

  Bashir felt the flush of humiliation burning hot in his cheeks. He’d been caught in a trap of his own making. “Well, I’m late, then,” he said. “Weren’t you following me? Surely you knew what I was doing.” And I hope you enjoyed the show, jerk.

  “Whether I know what you were up to isn’t the point,” Misha said, confirming Bashir’s suspicions that he’d been followed. He had to admire the fact that Misha had somehow managed to follow him all the way to Manama and then to Jaffa without being seen, or raising suspicions. “The point is that you were out and your father was worried.”

  “If he worried about me he should have made a better choice of his second wife,” Bashir grumbled. “What’s it to you, anyway, how I spend my time? You’re still getting paid, and I still cover most of the costs you incur. Why do you care so much? Why do the people who care so much about my happiness despise me for spending my one day in Bahrain with the one woman who makes me happy?”

  Misha stood up, ominously silent. He headed for the door, and then stopped and said, “We don’t despise you, sir. We envy you.” And before Bashir could say anything, he left, closing the door behind him.

  Bashir undressed and sank into his bed, falling into an uneasy sleep, full of weird dream fragments: his father, standing over him, while Melinda laughed at him from below. Miriam saying, “I’m so happy for you,” while holding a beating heart, her hands covered in blood. Malakar stepping out of a smoldering wreck of a car, his clothes burned and tattered, blackness and emptiness where his eyes should have been. Bashir woke with a start at 5 am, wondering what, if anything it all meant—feeling guilty, for the first time, about how he’d treated his father.

  Their flight back to London was at 8 that night, so he had twelve hours to settle everything before he returned back to his life of reading legal briefs, drinking and whoring. He got up, restless, uncomfortable with the understanding that if he wanted his father to approve of Melinda he’d need to accept Alya—not sure if he was willing to do that, but knowing that he’d have to try.

  He went to the kitchen to brew himself a pot of tea. The servants wouldn’t be awake yet, and anyway there were some little rituals that were better when they were done by himself: fussing with the glasses, measuring out the tea in the strainer, finding the perfectly-sized lump of rock sugar. He liked to put the sugar under the tea leaves, so that it would sweeten the tea as he poured the water over it.

  He found a tin of butter cookies—the ones that were supposedly Danish but he’d never seen them when he’d gone to Copenhagen—and he took two and went to sit by the pool. In the east, the sky was lightening, the blue-black of the night fading into the red-gray of the desert dawn. The air was cool, and for a moment he could imagine himself back in London, in his apartment, in the hours before he had to run for his classes and work on writing up his thesis.

  He jumped when he realized th
at there was someone else sitting by the pool. It was his father. At first he thought the king had fallen asleep in the chair, but then his father turned to him, smiling sadly. “Bashir. Come, sit.”

  I’m not a dog, Bashir thought, but he took the next chair. “What is it?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” his father said. “Nothing important, at any rate.”

  “Then why do you want me to sit with you?” he asked.

  “Can a father not enjoy the company of his son?”

  There was an uncomfortable silence, broken only by the chirping of the birds and the squeaking of the last of the night’s bats, while Bashir settled into his chair and resumed sipping at his tea. “You were out with a woman,” his father said, making a guess. Bashir didn’t deny it.

  “Your mother didn’t want me to arrange a marriage for you,” the king said.

  “It didn’t stop you from trying,” Bashir retorted.

  “No,” the king agreed. “But that was before I realized that I’d never been out of love with Alya. The heart does what it wants, you know?”

  It was true, that the marriage proposals that he’d occasionally receive in his email had stopped a few years ago. But Bashir had thought that that was because his father had finally gotten the message: he wasn’t interested in getting married.

  “Your mother and I—we respected each other, and yes, we grew to love each other,” the king continued. “Your brothers will say the same thing of their wives, and your sisters will say the same thing of their husbands. But your mother was adamant that we leave you be, to find your own path and your own wife. I thought for sure that it was a bad idea. I thought you’d go off with the first whore that you met—”