Heart Unheard

by Andrew Grey

  His dad leaned over and hugged him. Scott was learning that sometimes so much could be said with touch and a hug. He knew exactly what his father was saying to him. He’d heard it so many times when he was growing up. All his mom and dad wanted was for him to be happy and to find someone who loved him as much as they loved each other. Scott knew he truly had found that.

  The issue was, how was he going to tell Brent?

  Saying he loved someone was one thing, but this was different. He had changed. Words had lost some of their power for him. He needed to be able to tell Brent how he felt without words, and therein lay the rub.

  Chapter 9

  BRENT WAS nervous as all hell—he had been for the past few days. He and Scott had spent most of their free time together, and Brent was loving every second. Scott had taken to spending more nights at Brent’s apartment, and thankfully his mom and dad didn’t seem to mind. They talked briefly when Brent came to pick up Scott or drop him off. More than once Brent had seen the two of them share expressions of hope between them, and Brent thought, maybe wished, that meant they approved of the two of them being together.

  Neither of Scott’s parents had said anything about the age difference or the fact that Brent and Scott worked together. Maybe they had grown to accept those things because they weren’t an issue for either Brent or Scott. In Brent’s mind, those had been things that he and Scott needed to come to terms with, and they had done so. After two years of dancing around each other, something like that shouldn’t have been an issue any longer—and wasn’t, much to Brent’s relief.

  “Why do you keep pacing?” James asked as he brought in a tray from the kitchen. James had called and invited Brent to stop by for coffee after work. Scott was spending the evening with his parents. They wanted to take Scott shopping for a new car now that the insurance issues had been taken care of. Brent had wanted to go along as well, but James had called with his invitation. “Trevor says he thinks there’s something wrong.”

  “So instead of asking me, he gets you to invite me over?”

  “Of course not.” James set down the tray with practiced ease. It was great seeing the way James moved effortlessly through his home, with Penny, his guide dog, right beside him watching his every move. If Brent weren’t well aware that James was blind, he would have sworn James could see. But of course he knew it was just familiarity with his environment. “Well, maybe a little. He says you’ve been preoccupied and it hasn’t been about work. So I thought it might have been about Scott. Are you worried about him and his challenges?”

  Brent shook his head and realized he was making gestures to a blind man. “No. It isn’t that. I asked Trevor about that once. He told me he loved you for you and the rest didn’t matter. I think that’s how I feel for Scott. I love him. I think I have in some way since the first day I showed up at the garage and he approached Trevor and me, asking if he was going to still have a job, because Alan the thief had hired him and he was afraid that we’d think he was tainted or something. Even as scared as he was then, there was a kind of fire behind his eyes, and dammit if he didn’t keep looking at me. And every time he did, that fire lit something in me… for two years, and I did nothing about it.” Brent conked himself on the side of the head. Again, a gesture to a blind man. He really needed to get his head screwed on straight.

  “Then what is it?” James sat down, and Penny curled up at his feet. She was an amazing dog, and even when she wasn’t in her harness, her devotion to James was amazing. James motioned toward the chair. “Just sit before you make me dizzy.”

  “How can I?” Brent asked out of curiosity as he moved to where James indicated.

  “I keep trying to follow your voice, but it’s in a different spot all the time. You can see, so you follow visual cues. I use auditory ones, but the effect is the same.” He waited until Brent lowered himself into the chair. “So spill. What’s going on?”

  “All right. I’m trying to think of a way to say something important to Scott, but I’m not going to just write the words on a sheet of paper and give it to him. There has to be a better way, a more significant way, for me to tell him what I want.” Brent sighed and took a cup of coffee off the tray, and James did the same. “I mean….”

  “You want to tell Scott how much you care for him?” James seemed amused and smiled behind his mug, eyes twinkling like some mischievous elf.

  “Yes. It’s important that I do it right, and I want it to be memorable and meaningful… and, God, not lame or stupid.” Brent hesitated as his stomach churned, and he set the mug back on the tray. “I know that Scott keeps wondering when I’m going to walk away. I can see it in his eyes whenever he gets super quiet and doesn’t think I’m watching as he looks at me. He gets these little lines around his mouth that he only does when he’s worried about something.”

  James sipped his coffee once again but didn’t say anything, which was annoying. James almost always had ideas about things like this. Trevor was the action kind of guy, but James was thoughtful and usually had really good ideas. He and Trevor made one hell of a team.

  “Okay. I think what you’re saying is that you want a way to tell Scott something important, and you want it to be in a way that tells him how you feel, but also that you love him and that the fact that he’s deaf doesn’t matter. That you love him in spite of his deafness?”

  Brent scowled and might have growled. “Does Trevor love you in spite of your blindness, or does he just love you because you’re you and you happen to be blind?”

  James smiled, and Brent got this idea that he’d just passed some sort of test. He scowled again, but a fat lot of good it did him. “Okay. I understand where you’re coming from and I think that maybe I might have an idea. Let me make a few phone calls. What I have in mind I can’t directly help you with, but I know someone who can,” James said.

  Brent picked up his mug once again, wondering at the gleam in James’s eyes. He might not have been able to see, but James was quite expressive at times. “Do you intend to tell me what this grand idea is, or am I going to be kept in the dark?”

  James chuckled. “Since I’m in the dark permanently, I don’t think it’s going to hurt you to wait a day or so.”

  “Cute. The blind guy is making blind jokes.” Brent sat back.

  “Why not? I do it better than anyone else. I also tell great deaf jokes. Did you hear the one about the blind guy and the deaf guy?”

  “No.”

  “Neither did the deaf guy.” James kept a straight face as Brent looked up at the ceiling.

  “That’s really awful.” Brent groaned softly. “You should put together an act.”

  Penny lifted her head and snuffled as though she were giving her opinion on the idea.

  “What she said,” James echoed, gently stroking her head. “You’re my best girl, aren’t you? You know—and I’m jumping ahead here—when you get a place together, you should get Scott a dog.”

  Brent wondered if James had gone nuts for a second.

  “A service dog. Not one like Penny, but one that’s been trained to work with the deaf. They’re trained to alert their owners to sounds like the doorbell, timers, or even a person calling their name.”

  That wasn’t a bad idea. Brent wondered where he’d go for something like that. He’d have to find out. “Anyway, this idea of yours?”

  James huffed. “You’re like a dog with a bone, aren’t you? Let me make a few calls tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do.” James grinned and then leaned forward, finally telling Brent what he had in mind. It was a great idea—perfect, in fact—and Brent wished to hell he’d come up with it. “I’ll call you with the details if he agrees.”

  “DON’T YOU need to go to work today?” Scott asked when Brent came over on Saturday morning. Brent had arranged for Scott to have the day off on the pretext that he wasn’t supposed to be working full hours yet. He had also arranged for Darryl to watch over the shop for the day.

  Nope, I took a vacation day. Trevor is
going to stop in to check on things at some point, but I have everything set, and Darryl knows what to do. It will be fine. Brent was so excited, but he tried not to let it show on his face. Do you want to do something? God, being cagey was a pain in the ass. I have an idea, if you’re up for it.

  “Sure. I think I’m driving Mom crazy. She keeps hovering around me and watching me like I’m going to break or something. I know she’s trying to tell me something without actually telling me.”

  Your mom is worried, and you can’t blame her. She nearly lost you, just like the rest of us, and it scared her. Give her a break and some time. He knew almost exactly how she felt. Let’s go.

  Carolyn came into the room, and Brent waved to her before Scott went outside to wait for him. Brent hurried to the car and pulled away.

  “What was that?” Scott asked.

  Brent flashed his most innocent smile.

  “I saw you give my mom a thumbs-up. Are you two in league about something?” Scott narrowed his eyes, but Brent couldn’t write a note, so he shrugged and continued driving. “Where are we going? What’s in Whitefish Bay?”

  Brent patted Scott’s knee and headed toward James and Trevor’s house.

  “Are we going to see James?” Scott sounded excited as they got out of the car. James opened the door as they approached, and Penny came out to greet both of them before doing her business and then going back inside to be near James.

  James motioned them inside to where a young lady stood waiting for them. “I’m Grace Hormel,” she said as she signed slowly. Brent turned to Scott, who watched her fingers with rapt fascination. Then she handed Scott an index card and let him read it as she continued on. “I teach at the School for the Deaf. I am able to hear now, but spent most of my life without being able to.” She turned and pulled back her hair. Small devices were attached to her head behind the ear. Cochlear implants. “These allow me to hear now, but I understand you aren’t a candidate.” She wrote a note to Scott as she spoke.

  Scott shook his head. “My brain was injured in an accident. They tell me that my ears and even most of the nerves to the brain are fine, but my brain isn’t and I lost my hearing. They tell me it was unusual, but it’s what happened.”

  She nodded and wrote again as she talked. This was a skill she must have mastered in her teaching. “I’m here today because James contacted us with a special request from your boyfriend.” She glanced at Brent as she spoke and handed Scott the page. “We’re going to work on some basic signing today. I know you’ve both registered for classes, and I look forward to working with you.” She placed the pad on the table and motioned for both of them to sit down on the sofa. She sat in the chair across the way. James took the other chair, and Penny sat next to him, her head on his lap.

  Grace opened a bag that rested beside the chair and pulled out a tablet. She worked with it a minute and started up a video, placing it where they could see it. It was a brief introduction. Then she brought up a blank Word document.

  “I thought I’d start with some basic signs so you both can get started and say some simple things to each other. American Sign Language is a complete language, but instead of spoken words, it uses hand gestures. There are nuances and regional and individual differences, just like with spoken language. Most people don’t think about it, but when I first got the implants and was able to hear, I had to learn what actual spoken English sounded like and what it meant. See, to me, this was house.” She paused and used her hands to make the sign. “Not the spoken word, which I had never heard,” she added as she typed again. “You will learn the basics of the language in your classes. I’m here just to get you started.”

  “Is that okay?” Brent asked after turning to Scott so he could see him.

  “I can’t believe you did all this for me.” Scott’s voice broke a little. He blinked and then turned away.

  Brent patted his hand, waiting for him to turn back, nodded, and pointed to James. Brent took the pad on the table. I wanted to be able to talk to you again, and I thought this would be a way to get started. We have a week or so until class, but James suggested this might be good for both of us.

  Scott hugged him so tightly Brent was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to breathe, but it really didn’t matter. Compared to the happy shine in Scott’s eyes, air was overrated.

  “Are you ready to get started?” Grace asked when Scott released him, and they both nodded. Grace started with simple words and ideas and how to convey them—I, you, we, and so on. “In class you will learn the alphabet and other basics, so I want to help you express some common ideas,” she went on to explain, then showed them the hand signs for hungry and tired before combining them with others.

  “I am hungry,” she typed on the screen and then slowly made the gestures as they both followed along. Then Grace continued, explaining some more and then showing them how to put them together. It took Brent a few tries, but he was able to get the hang of it. Scott learned quickly and it took him less practice than Brent, but they were both able to make the motions.

  After a few hours, they had learned enough to make some simple sentences. What surprised Brent was how much concentration it took for him to make the sign instead of or in conjunction with talking. Talking was so natural that it took extra effort not to.

  They thanked Grace once they were done. “You both did very well,” she signed and spoke. Scott smiled and gave her a hug. In a way, it had to be like unlocking a part of him now. Just like that, Scott had another way to receive information. Granted, it was still limited for now, but after not too long, it was going to open worlds for him.

  Scott excused himself to go to the bathroom, and Brent took advantage of his absence. “Please show me one more sign,” he asked, then told her what he wanted, checking that Scott was gone. Grace smiled and carefully showed him what he wanted to know.

  “I think I’ll let you teach that one to Scott,” she said with a wink.

  “Thank you.” Brent shook her hand and walked her to the door. James followed with Penny, and he hugged Grace and thanked her as well.

  “Sign language is helpful to those who are deaf, but it has one big drawback: most people you meet during the day don’t know how to speak it. A lot of deaf people tend to spend their time with other hearing-impaired people because it’s easy for them to communicate. For you and those closest to him, learning ASL is great, but things like lip-reading and other techniques are important as well. He has a ways to go, and it can be frustrating. Know that and expect it. It takes plenty of support to learn a whole new way to interact with the world.”

  Brent nodded his understanding, thanking her once again. He also thanked James for all his help and knelt down to give Penny some attention, until Scott came back. Once Scott joined them again, they said goodbye to Grace. She told them both that she looked forward to seeing them in class and that they were off to a good start. She also pointed them to some good websites and resource materials before leaving the house.

  Brent and Scott got ready to leave as well, because James needed to change and get ready for lunch. Apparently Trevor was stopping back on the motorcycle to pick him up, and James was almost too excited to stand still for very long. They said goodbye, sharing hugs.

  “I appreciate this so much,” Brent told James.

  “You’re welcome.” James squeezed him, and then let Brent go.

  Brent and Scott returned to the car and pulled away as Trevor passed them going the other way, completely badass on his Harley in his black leathers. James was in for one hell of a ride, from the look of it.

  “Are we going anywhere else?” Scott asked, his eyes wide and his cheeks a little flushed. “That was a great surprise.” Sometimes Scott blew him away with his energy and the way he didn’t let things get him down.

  Brent nodded, returning his smile, glancing at Scott as he practiced his symbols while he rode. It wasn’t far for Brent to drive, and he pulled into the park. As soon as Scott saw where they were, his smile t
old Brent he knew where they were heading.

  The sun was burning, but the relief was instant as they stepped under the trees, the sound of the water pulling them both forward to the little creek and its gently turning waterwheel. Their bench was empty, and Brent sat next to Scott.

  “Thank you for doing that. I was nervous, wondering if I would be good at signing. But we did well.” Scott bumped him. Pretty water, he signed.

  Yes, Brent signed back, then turned to Scott, touching his hands gently to quiet him. He made the sign Grace taught him. Then Brent signed the entire phrase. I love you. He waited and did it again, mouthing the words. I love you.

  Scott gasped, then gave a brilliant smile.

  I love you.

  “Did you do that so you could say that to me? Is that why Grace came over?” Scott asked, copying the signs Brent made.

  Yes. Brent ran out of signs and had to resort to pen and paper. He handed Scott the note and let him read it. I wanted to tell you how I felt in a way that was special. Then Brent touched his chin so Scott looked at him again. I love you, he signed yet again, then took Scott’s hands and placed them over his heart. “I love you.” He pulled Scott to him and held him tight.

  “I love you too,” Scott said into his ear. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, but I didn’t say anything because you were my boss, and then after the accident…. I can’t figure out how you could fall in love with a deaf guy.”

  Brent took Scott’s arms, unwrapping them so Scott sat back from him. I didn’t fall for someone deaf, he scrawled in the book. I fell for you. He made the sign for you that Grace had taught them. Scott was funny and smart, cute, hot, sexy, brave, stubborn, and so many other things. But mostly Scott was his. You, me, he signed, then brought their hands together, hoping Scott would understand.

  Scott smiled and leaned in to bring their lips together in a kiss so hot that if they were any closer to the stream, they’d be surrounded by clouds of steam. Beads of sweat burst out on Brent’s forehead, but he didn’t care at all. Scott could make his blood boil and his temperature rise just by looking at him. One kiss was stratospheric.