The Problem Child (The Sisters Grimm, Book 3)

by Michael Buckley

  The family stared at the witch, dumbfounded.

  "You've never seen

  Days of Our Lives?"

  she asked.

  Everyone shook their heads.

  "Oh, well," the witch said as she was lifted out of the chair and placed on the floor by an unseen force. "Relda has told me about your problem. I believe I can be of some assistance."

  "So, you're not going to eat us?" Daphne said.

  "Not today, child. Perhaps when you are older. Children are mostly gristle at your age," Baba Yaga said as she turned to Jake. "But you, on the other hand. I thought I told you I would feast on your innards the next time I saw you in my house."

  Uncle Jake shuddered. "We need your part of the Vorpal blade," he stammered. "I wouldn't have come if it wasn't important."

  "You Grimm men are a bit jumpy. Spaulding Grimm was the same way when he brought me the blade," she said. "What's the matter, Jacob? Do I make you nervous?"

  Sabrina clutched the wand in her pocket and stepped forward bravely.

  "Are you going to give us the blade or not?" she said. "For a price," the witch said. "A price?" Sabrina said. "There is always a price, child."

  "OK, what do you want?" Sabrina said, reaching into her other pocket. She pulled out a couple dollars in change. She urged her sister to do the same. Daphne managed to produce a little rubber ball, a button, a paper clip, and ten cents. "I

  suppose if this isn't enough, we could mow your lawn in the summertime, maybe dust your bones and headstones."

  "I want the wand," Baba Yaga said.

  The words felt like a slap in the face to Sabrina. For the last few days, she had felt confident like never before and it was all due to Merlin's wand. When she had it in her hand, she no longer had to run. Bad guys backed away. It was the source of her power and it dissolved her fear. Asking her to give up the wand was like asking her to hand over a leg or an arm.

  "I don't know what you're talking about," she lied.

  The witch smiled broadly, revealing a mouth full of puffy gums. "The child has been touched, Jacob," she said, eyeing the man. "Just like her uncle."

  "No, she hasn't," Uncle Jake said with a sneer as he turned to Sabrina. "Give it to her, 'Brina."

  "No," Sabrina said. "We might need it when we face Red Riding Hood and the Jabberwocky"

  "No wand, no blade. It's that simple," Baba Yaga said.

  Sabrina took the wand out of her pocket and pointed it at the old woman. Her hand was shaking with anger. "Then we'll take it from you!"

  "Sabrina, think about Mom and Dad. We need the blade, not some lousy magic stick," Daphne pleaded, but was drowned out by the rumbling thunder overhead.

  "Sabrina, give the wand to Baba Yaga!"

  Uncle Jake shouted.

  Sabrina shook her head. "Give us the blade!"

  The witch cocked an eyebrow at her and sneered. "You don't want me as your enemy, child."

  Suddenly, Uncle Jake reached into his pocket and removed a small fire-red stone. Energy emanated from it and filled the room, and suddenly a shocking force yanked the wand out of Sabrina's hands, sending it sailing across the room and into Baba Yaga's hand. The energy running through Sabrina quickly faded, only to be replaced with a rage at her uncle for betraying her.

  "OK, old mother," Uncle Jake said. "You've got your payment. Let's see the merchandise."

  "Very well," the witch said as she stepped across the room to a table where an old mug sat that read FOXY GRANDMA. It was filled with wands. She carelessly stuffed Sabrina's in with the others and opened a drawer in the table. Inside was a shiny piece of metal. She took it out and handed the piece of blade to Jake.

  He studied it. Sabrina noticed that unlike the other portions of the blade, there was no inscription carved into it. There was no clue to finding the Blue Fairy.

  "We need help putting this back together," Uncle Jake said.

  "The Blue Fairy is the only one who can do it. If the price was right, could you tell us where she is?"

  The old crone shook her head. Mounds of hair fell from her head and onto the floor. "Some things are not for sale," the witch said. She clapped her hands and Red Dawn, Bright Sun, and Dark Midnight entered the room.

  "My knights will escort you out," Baba Yaga said.

  Jake nodded to her respectfully and led the girls toward the door.

  "Well, that was easier than I expected," Uncle Jake said.

  "Jacob," the old witch called out. "Your mother saved you from my hungry teeth this time. She paid quite a price for your past intrusion. You should go home and thank her. But know this: If you ever invade my home again, I'll suck the marrow out of your bones while you watch."

  Uncle Jake's face turned white and Elvis let out a surprised yelp.

  "Tell your mother I said hello," Baba Yaga continued, changing her tone to that of a sweet old lady. The cat, the hawk, and the terrier led the family outside into the cold clearing and left them at the gate.

  Uncle Jake looked down at the blade and smiled. "We did it!"

  Daphne hugged Elvis tightly. "You were so brave!"

  "Let's get this home and see what Mom has to say about it," Uncle Jake said.

  "No," Sabrina said softly. "I can't leave the wand with her. It belongs to me and we need it. You saw her. She tossed it aside like it was nothing. Well, it's not nothing! That wand might save our lives."

  "Sabrina, get ahold of yourself," Uncle Jake snapped. "We've got the blade. That's what's important. We're lucky all she wanted was the wand. It's gone. Forget about it."

  Sabrina couldn't believe he was so willing to surrender. Before her uncle could stop her, she reached into his overcoat pocket and snatched the Shoes of Swiftness. She slipped them on and turned to her family. "I'm going back for it! She won't even know I was in there."

  "Sabrina, no!" Uncle Jake demanded, but it was too late. Sabrina ran back to the house, opened the door, and in a flash she was racing into Baba Yaga's room. She snatched the mug off the little table at a speed faster than the human eye. Unfortunately, Baba Yaga stuck out a bony leg and tripped her. Sabrina slammed hard onto the floor and the little mug shattered, spraying magic wands all over the floor. Sabrina snatched up the nearest one before being yanked off her feet by her hair. Baba Yaga's inhuman strength allowed her to dangle Sabrina in front of her.

  "Your grandmother would be disappointed to know you are a thief," the witch said. "Cooking you would save her the anguish of finding out."

  Sabrina fumbled with the wand and eventually aimed it at the witch's face. She thought of thunderstorms and flicked the wand with her wrist. Nothing happened.

  The witch cackled. "I'll give you some credit. You're braver than your uncle. He snuck in here and ran like a rat when I found him. You're still putting up a fight. Sadly, your passion is fueled by your addiction. It's made you so blind you can't even tell that you're not holding Merlin's wand. All that little trinket does is turn people into frogs."

  "Well, then I hope you like flies, ugly," Sabrina said as she conjured a big fat, slimy frog in her mind. There was a sudden zap and a cloud of dust and the sound of laughter filled her ears.

  "You really have to be sure to point those things in the right direction," the witch said as the smoke cleared. Sabrina was no longer in the witch's grasp; in fact, she was staring directly at the woman's crusty, corny feet.

  Fudge, I made her a giant,

  Sabrina thought to herself as Baba Yaga's gnarled hand reached down and scooped her off the floor. Sabrina squirmed but she couldn't get free.

  "Oh, goodie for me," the witch said as she held Sabrina close to her face. "I haven't had frog legs since the last time I was in Paris."

  Frog legs? What is she talking about?

  Sabrina looked down at herself. Her feet were green and webbed. Her skin was slimy and sticky. Her belly was like a massive sack hanging between her skinny little legs. A bubbling gurgle churned in her gut, slowly rising up through her body, and then her wide mouth opened. "I'
m a frog!" she croaked.

  Baba Yaga lifted the frog girl above her head and slowly dipped her down into her open jaws. Sabrina struggled and used her webbed feet to block her descent into the witch's hungry mouth. Wiggling frantically, she slipped out of the witch's hand and tumbled to the floor. Without allowing herself any time to recover, she leaped toward the door, flailing and screaming as she went. Her new amphibious body could leap incredible lengths but controlling the leaps was impossible.

  "My lunch!" the witch cried. "She's getting away! Red Dawn, Bright Sun, Dark Midnight… help Mommy!"

  The animals raced into the room. They spotted Sabrina and raced after her. She jumped as hard as she could, and her skinny springlike legs propelled her high over the creatures' sharp claws and vicious fangs. She sailed into the next room. Spotting the front door on the opposite wall, she jumped toward it but unfortunately smacked into it headfirst. She fell, dazed and hurt, as the witch's guardians rushed toward her. All three began to grow and change. Bright Sun returned to his tiger-warrior form, while Red Dawn morphed into a horrible birdlike man with a savage beak and rippling arms. Black Midnight's transformation was equally disturbing. When it was finished, he was a hunched, muscled giant with thick black hair all over his body and savage fangs. All three of the guardians were in armor and held long swords in their hands.

  Sabrina hopped onto the table with the witch's potions and powders, knocking over vials and bowls. The three guardians swung their swords at her frog body, destroying books with each mighty blow. Sabrina managed to keep just ahead of the knights, but she couldn't hop forever.

  Bright Sun landed a blow that nearly took off her webbed foot and managed to upend a bowl, splattering himself with a particularly foul-smelling potion. He was instantly transformed into a little red mouse. He scurried across the floor, but not before he caught the attention of Red Dawn. The hawk-man dove for the mouse, only to morph into a tiny spider when he knocked a vial of blue powder on himself. Black Midnight kept up the chase, but quickly suffered a similar fate as his companions. Something spilled on him that made his body inflate like a balloon. He soon drifted to the ceiling where he was unable to get at Sabrina.

  Sabrina leaped back down to the ground and headed for the closed door. She soon realized that without hands to open it she was trapped inside the house.

  "Uncle Jake!" she cried. "Open the door!"

  Suddenly, the door swung open and Sabrina hopped out into the cold air. The family stared down at her with mouths agape.

  "All right, let me say it for you: 'I told you so!'" Sabrina grumbled.

  "Is that you?" Uncle Jake said, reaching down and picking her up off the ground.

  "Yes," she said. "You're squeezing too hard."

  Just then, a window opened and the witch stuck her head out of it. She shook her fist at the family and screamed.

  "She's mine," Baba Yaga shouted from a window. "She tried to steal from me!"

  "You know I can't give her back, crone," Uncle Jake said.

  "I was hoping you'd say that," the witch said. A liquidy cackle bubbled from her throat and the ground started to shake.

  "What's that?" Daphne said.

  "Here, hold your sister," Uncle Jake said as he put Sabrina into Daphne's hands. He nervously fumbled through his pockets, yanking out odds and ends and growing more discouraged by the second.

  "What's going on?" Sabrina said, struggling for a view around Daphne's thumb. Uncle Jake turned to her and tried to explain, but his words were drowned out by a horrible tearing sound followed by an incredible sight. Baba Yaga's house lifted itself off the ground on two massive chicken legs. It walked toward them. Sabrina wanted to scream but all that came out was "Ribbit!" Daphne and Elvis both whined at the same time.

  "You know what?" Uncle Jake said, giving up his search. "Let's just make a run for it." He spun around, snatched Daphne's free hand, and dragged her back down the path. Elvis followed, barking and growling at the house that stomped after them.

  "I hope you're happy," Daphne said to Sabrina as the group raced through the woods. "When we find Mom and Dad, I'm telling!"

  The dense forest slowed the house down a little, but with each step its sharp chicken claws got closer and closer, eventually snagging the back of Uncle Jake's overcoat. Desperate, he slipped out of the coat and left it behind.

  The house stopped abruptly and lowered itself to the ground. Baba Yaga popped out of the front door, scurried over to the overcoat, and snatched it up in her gnarled hands. She riffled through the pockets and let out a laugh that echoed through the woods. Sabrina turned her little frog head and saw Baba Yaga holding the final piece of the sword high in the air above her head. Her heart sank. They'd been so close to recovering the third piece of the blade and she'd ruined it. Why couldn't she just let the old woman have the wand? Why had she been so reckless?

  But then the witch did something incredible. She tossed the blade through the air. It landed at Uncle Jake's feet. "You forgot your prize, Jacob!" she shouted, then held up his overcoat. "I'll take this as payment for the child's thieving ways," she said as she rolled it into a ball. She went back into her house and the gigantic chicken legs lifted it once again. Awkwardly, it turned itself around, and then lumbered back the way it came.

  "Uncle Jake, I'm so sorry," Sabrina said. "It's my fault you lost all your magic."

  "What's important is we have the last piece of the blade," Daphne said. "Uncle Jake can find a new coat."

  "Except I did have a magic potion in my inside pocket we could have used to de-frog Sabrina," their uncle said.

  "What am I going to do?" Sabrina groaned.

  "I think you should stay like that for awhile and think about how you're behaving," Daphne said.

  "I absolutely agree," a voice said from nearby. The group turned and found Mr. Canis lurking in the trees.

  "Mom sent you to check up on us, huh?" Uncle Jake said, sounding offended.

  Canis ignored the question. He approached the group and stared down at Sabrina, who was still resting in her sister's hands.

  "How did you get into this situation?" he said.

  "She went back in for the Wand of Merlin," Daphne said. Sabrina looked up at her and flashed an angry look.

  "And how did you come across the Wand of Merlin?" Mr. Canis growled, studying Uncle Jake.

  "Uh, I gave it to her," Uncle Jake admitted.

  The old man' eyes were aglow with anger. "The child is eleven years old. Grown men can't handle that kind of magic."

  "He was trying to prepare us for the future," Sabrina said.

  "You and I will have words later, child," Mr. Canis barked. "For now, we need to find a way to change you back."

  "Why don't we just take her home? Mom is sure to know something in the Hall of Wonders that will fix her," Uncle Jake said.

  Mr. Canis turned on Uncle Jake and grabbed him roughly by the collar. "Ever since you were a child you have been nothing but a problem for her. Every mess you made you expected your mother to clean up for you! Well, look at the mess you've made this time!"

  "It's a simple frog-spell," Uncle Jake cried. "She's not hurt."

  "I'm not talking about the spell! Sabrina risked her life and the safety of her family for a stupid piece of magic wood you gave her. The child is touched. She is addicted and you are to blame!"

  "Mr. Canis," Daphne said setting her hand on his arm. "It's OK."

  The child's comforting words had a soothing effect on the old man.

  "This kind of spell can be broken with the kiss of someone with royal blood. Puck would have been perfect but he's still very ill," Mr. Canis said.

  Sabrina wondered if anyone could tell when a frog blushed. She hoped not.

  "Well, this town is crawling with princes," Uncle Jake said. "Who should we call?"

  "Unfortunately, I am going to have to clean up this mess myself," Mr. Canis said. "Jacob, you're forcing me to ask a favor of my bitterest enemy."

  "Absolutely not!"


  Sabrina cried when she realized whom he meant.

  * * *

  "Absolutely not!"

  'Mayor Charming bellowed. "It's the only way," Mr. Canis growled.

  Charming looked around his mansion as if he were searching for an escape route. The entire house had become his campaign headquarters and signs blocked most of the windows. When he realized he was stuck, he scowled. "The Big Bad Wolf is asking for my help? The Devil must have his long underwear on today."

  The two stared at each other in disgust. They had a long history and none of it was nice. Most of the time when the two got together, Granny Relda had to separate them like two schoolboys bent on fist fighting.

  "You can do it on your own or you can do it with a substantial bite taken out of you," Mr. Canis threatened. "Your choice."

  "I liked you better when you were dead," Charming said through gritted teeth. He stepped over to Daphne, who held out Sabrina in her hands. "Personally, I think the girl looks better this way. The mustache and goatee were unsettling. She's rather striking as a frog."

  "Mayor, if you don't do this, I will follow you wherever you go. I will be your shadow until you relent. You will never escape me. Your scent is one I know well," Canis said.

  "Fine," Charming said, rolling his eyes and picking Sabrina up out of her sister's hands. "I suppose you'll be registered voters eventually. Remember who did you a favor once."

  He raised Sabrina's frog body to his face, closed his eyes, and planted a tiny peck on the top of her head. Sabrina felt the spell break immediately. There was a puff of smoke and when it was clear she looked down, saw that her feet and hands were normal, and almost started dancing with happiness.

  The mayor, on the other hand, looked as if he might barf and quickly wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

  "Mayor, you're so cool," Daphne said, racing over to him and wrapping him in a big hug. He struggled to free himself but the little girl wouldn't let go. "I hope you win the election."

  Charming smiled slightly and then managed to push away the affectionate little girl. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. The latest polls are in and I'm going to win by a landslide. If all goes well, I think our friend the Queen of Hearts is in for a very rude awakening." He stepped over and pinned "VOTE FOR CHARMING" buttons on everyone's coats. When he got to