Chasing Trouble

by Sonia Stanizzo

  He dipped his head and stared at his hands. “It killed her, I know. I’m responsible for her death.” The anguish lined his face, and her heart bled for the pain it caused.

  The anger that had been aimed toward her father all these years started to dissolve as he crumbled from the strain of holding onto the blame of someone’s death. She knew exactly how it felt, because she’d been doing the same thing. How many times had she wished that she’d never told her mother about Olivia being pregnant? So many it ate a whole right through her heart until there was nothing left to destroy.

  “You weren’t responsible for Mum’s death, I was.” The secret she’d been keeping lifted like concrete from her shoulders. No matter how her father reacted to what she was about to say, she could breathe better for finally setting it free.

  His head raised to stare at her. “What are you talking about? You were only a child.”

  “I found out about Olivia and the baby, and I told Mum. I wanted her to open her eyes and see what you were doing to her. I hoped if she knew about the baby she’d finally leave you and hopefully sort out her life. But after I told her, she freaked out and got into the car.”

  Shudders ripped through her body, and she wrapped shaky arms around her middle. When her legs no longer had the strength to stand, she dropped on the seat next to her father.

  “I begged her not to go. I knew she’d been drinking, but she wouldn’t listen. If I had kept my mouth shut, she wouldn’t have wrapped her car around a tree.”

  “God, Ava, none of what happened was your fault. Your mother knew I’d gotten Olivia pregnant. We couldn’t keep living the way we were, and I’d already told her I was leaving to be with Olivia. I’d fallen in love, and I had to put an end to our marriage.”

  She sucked in a shocked breath. “But when I told her she completely lost it. She screamed and cried.”

  “Probably because you found out. She didn’t want you to know about the baby. She thought me leaving would’ve been enough for you to deal with.”

  If he’d left years earlier, it would’ve stopped her from seeing the disaster their marriage had been, and maybe Ava wouldn’t have had such a twisted view on relationships. But her father was holding onto enough guilt without her adding more. It may have taken many years, but her heart was slowly starting to knit itself back together. And she had Nick to thank for filling the empty space.

  She didn’t want to hold on to all the resentment she’d been dragging around. It was tiring and emotionally draining. It was time to put the past, and her mother’s ghost, to rest.

  Reaching out, she held onto her father’s hand. It trembled in hers. He swiveled his head around to look at her.

  “I’m sorry.” And she really was. Sorry for the turbulent family they had, for being such a defiant teenager, and sorry for the distance—not geographically, but emotionally—that she’d put between them.

  Tears misted his eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry about. If I could go back in time, I’d change things. I made many mistakes, and I’m ashamed of them. But you…you were the light in the darkness. I ruined that too. When you were old enough to understand the tension between your mother and I, you never looked at me the same way again. But please believe me, you are my daughter. I’ve never once doubted it.”

  “I know. We’re both too damn pigheaded to not be related.”

  They both chuckled.

  “I love you, Ava,” he said and pulled her into a tight hug. One that was still a little awkward but that could only get better.

  “I love you too.” The ‘L’ word wasn’t so hard to say after all. It sounded good and felt even better.

  When they pulled apart, her father wiped away tears with the back of his shirt sleeve. It was a new experience seeing her strong, tough father so emotional.

  “I should be mad at Nick for telling you.” His voice was gruff. “But it’s a relief that you now know.”

  Nick? His name whirled around her head. “Nick knew about this?” The thin, high-pitched voice was unrecognizable.

  “Yes, I thought he told you.”

  “It was Olivia.” And just like that, her heart that had begun to feel whole, collapsed like rubble at her feet.

  A painful tightness constricted around Ava’s throat, making it hard to breathe. She pulled in air as best she could before she passed out from lack of oxygen. Rising on unsteady legs, she turned to leave.

  “Ava, wait.” Her father grabbed her wrist. But she pulled free and continued to walk away.

  When she reached her room, she locked the door behind her and slid to the floor, dropping her head on her knees. But she didn’t let the tears that were building slip out. No, Nick didn’t deserve them, nor would she succumb to such weakness.

  After the week they’d spent together, how could he have kept something so important from her? And how did he know about it and for how long? She scrubbed her face with her hands. It didn’t matter. He’d proved he couldn’t be trusted after all. Better to know who he really was now rather than later.

  Heaving herself from the floor, she went about packing the few clothes she had, and went to find Bella. Both Bella and Olivia were in the kitchen, the older woman wringing her hands in distress. Bella was eating a piece of chocolate cake, oblivious to the tension going on around her.

  “Ava, is everything okay?” Olivia rushed to her.

  “Everything’s fine.” The smile she put on for Bella’s sake felt stiff and brittle on her face. “I need to head home.”

  “Aww, already?” Bella wailed.

  “Are things good with you and your father?” Olivia gently asked.

  “We’re okay.” A long way from being good, but they’d work on it. Walking over to Bella, she gave her a hug. “Come visit me during your next holidays.”

  “You’re going to come back here too, right?” she said with pleading eyes.

  “Of course.”

  But first she needed to make sure Nick was long gone. The thought of him sent a sharp jab to her chest. She’d gotten over him once before, and she could do it again. The more she kept telling herself that, the more she would believe it. That was the plan, and she was going to stick to it.

  * * * *

  The drive to Maggie’s house was quicker than she’d hoped, even though she’d kept under the speed limit. She was in no rush to be on the property. If it weren’t for Maggie, Ava would’ve been out of Sunland Valley already, but she’d promised her she’d stop and say goodbye.

  Also, Lauren had sent Ava an email wanting to buy ten of Maggie’s photographs to start with, and if they were popular, like she predicted, she’d buy more. The photo of the dilapidated gazebo was top of the list. It was beautiful, so she could see why Lauren would want it. Ava had planned on buying it herself, but she couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.

  When she arrived at the house, she let out a pent-up breath, grateful to see neither Nick’s truck nor his car parked out front. Hopefully, he was at the workshop and she could say her goodbyes and disappear without crossing paths.

  Knocking on the door, she waited a moment for Maggie to answer. The door opened, and the smile Maggie held in greeting slipped when she took one look at Ava. Concern replaced her happy expression.

  “What’s wrong?” Maggie asked as she ushered Ava inside.

  Molly came bounding from the kitchen and danced around Ava’s legs. She must’ve picked up on Ava’s mood, because she whimpered, laid down, and rested her head on crossed legs. Ava was good at making everyone upset today. The quicker she got away, the better.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve come to say goodbye.”

  “Come with me,” Maggie said, pulling her into the living room and giving her a light nudge to sit on the couch. “Don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. I can clearly see there is.”

  Ava knew there was no point trying to pretend, so she took a deep breath and recapped they day’s events.

  “And Nick knew about this?” A look of disappointment crossed Maggie�
�s face. Ava nodded. “Surely he must’ve had a good reason not to say anything.”

  No matter what his reasons were, it was still a betrayal, and she didn’t want to hear any of Maggie’s excuses. “I need to go.” Reaching over, she gave the woman a quick hug then pulled out Lauren’s email from her bag. “Lauren loves your work and has asked me to pass on a list of the photos she wants. All her contact details are there too.”

  “Thank you. I’m glad she likes them, but please stay a little longer so we can sort this out.”

  “I can’t.” The words clogged in her throat. Giving Molly a scratch behind the ears, she then hurried out of the house.

  As she approached her car, Nick’s truck pulled up beside it. Her stomach dropped. If only she’d left a few minutes earlier, she would’ve avoided seeing him. Squaring her shoulders for what needed to be done, she waited furiously as he got out of the truck and sauntered over.

  A smile that once warmed her from head to toe lit up his face. The sight of him still made her pulse race, but she put it down to the anger boiling in the pit of her gut. Because she wouldn’t allow it to be anything else.

  He made to hold her around the waist, but she stepped back out of reach. Searching her expression, he said with a serious tone, “Has something happened?”

  Yes, you broke my heart and stomped on it, you stupid jerk was what she wanted to say, but she wouldn’t allow him to know how much of her heart she had given to him. “I know.”

  When he raised a curious eyebrow, she let out a harsh laugh.

  “I know about the secret you’ve been keeping. The one about my mother.”

  His shoulders slumped, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. “You left town before I could tell you.”

  So, he had known for years. “And what about the past week? You had plenty of time to tell me.”

  “It wasn’t that easy, Ava. God, when you first came back into town we couldn’t stand the sight of each other. It wasn’t the first thing that came to mind.”

  “And after that? What about then?” Why did she ever hope she could build a future with him? Her life had been built on secrets, and he had kept them.

  “If we weren’t ignoring each other or fighting, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. The time was never right.” He threw his arms in the air. “Bernie asked me not to say anything. I didn’t think it was my business, so I kept quiet. I was wrong. I should have told you. I’m sorry, Ava.”

  All she could hear was the sound of him tearing out her heart. She swung open the car door. “I don’t care what you have to say anymore. It was fun while it lasted.”

  With that, she slammed the door and turned the ignition with shaky hands. Gravel spat from under the tires as she drove away.

  Chapter 19

  “Beth has a hot friend she wants to set you up with.” Ben slid a Corona toward Nick as they sat in a booth at Dexter’s Pub.

  How many beers did this one make? Nick had lost count. Maybe he should stop. His head grew dizzy and two Bens sat in front of him. Fuck it, another one couldn’t hurt. Slugging back a mouthful of the cold liquid, he tried to remember what Ben had said. Something about a hot friend.

  “She’s been eyeing you all night, and Beth reckons she’s a guarantee.”

  Nick glanced in the direction Ben was pointing. A woman with auburn hair wearing a skimpy dress stood next to Beth, smiling and wiggling her fingers at them. Was she hot? He’d seen better. He pictured Ava’s face, and he shook it away.

  “Come on, boss, she’ll make you forget about Ava.”

  At the sound of her name, a sharp stabbing pain knifed through his chest. “She did it again. She fuckin’ ran away. Why did I fall for her again? Once was bad enough.”

  “This is why you need to hook-up with Beth’s friend. She’ll make you forget about Ava.”

  “Stop saying her name.” He groaned like he was in pain.

  “Sorry, boss. Look, they’re coming over. Act nice and give her a chance.”

  The two women strutted over and slid into the booth. Beth next to Ben and auburn-haired woman friend next to Nick.

  Beth made the introduction. “Nick, this is Lucinda. Lucinda, this is Nick.”

  Lucinda slid closer to him so they were touching from shoulder to knee. Twisting in her seat to say hi, her generous breasts pressed against his chest. The hand she placed on his thigh wasn’t shy. Her palm slid seductive and slow toward his lap.

  Maybe this was the best way to forget about Av… Now he couldn’t even think her name. Looking over at Ben, his mate gave him a thumbs-up sign and wiggled his eyebrows.

  Sliding an arm across the back of the booth, Lucinda snuggled in even closer. Any closer and she’d be giving him a lap dance.

  Nuzzling at her ear, he whispered, “Want to get out of here?”

  * * * *

  When Nick woke the next morning, the sun beamed so bright into the room he threw an arm over his eyes to block out the harsh rays. A fierce pounding split his brain. Groaning, he sat on the edge of the bed, hung his head between his knees, and waited for the room to stop spinning. He took a few deep breaths through his nose to settle the rolling queasiness in his gut.

  God, how much did he have to drink last night? Ben kept sliding them over to him, and he kept putting them away. Beers weren’t the only thing he remembered. A hand on his thigh, a breast against his chest, and red auburn hair in his face.

  Whipping his head around—which wasn’t the smartest thing to do because pain exploded behind his eyes—he glanced at the bed with dread. When the other side was empty, he sagged with relief. Parts of the night flittered blurrily through his mind. He thought he could erase one woman with another. But Ava wasn’t easy to forget.

  Getting off the bed, he walked to the bathroom and had a hot shower. The next thing he needed was coffee. The stronger the better.

  He got dressed then headed to the kitchen. Fifteen minutes, and two cups of coffee later, the fog in his mind cleared and he could once again think straight. After asking Lucinda to leave the bar with him, he’d changed his mind as soon as his arse heaved from the seat. The look on her face when he told her he was going home alone was comical, part shocked and part death stare. Ben tried unsuccessfully to get him to stay. Once out of the bar, he’d gotten a lift home from a mate and fell into a coma-like sleep.

  And now fully conscious, all thoughts turned back to Ava. No matter how much he tried or how much alcohol was consumed, he couldn’t get her out of his head. She’d gone and left him again. And if he hadn’t showed up when he did, she would’ve left without a word. Running away was what she was good at. Running away from anything that got too tough. Well, it was time he moved on too. There wasn’t more he could do in Sunland Valley; there hadn’t been for a long time.

  * * * *

  When Nick walked into his mother’s house, he found her removing frames from the walls. “Packing to leave so soon?” he asked as he reached over her to remove a photo hung higher on the wall.

  “No, just doing a few things so it’s not so much later.” He could see the excitement at moving in her eyes, but knew she was trying to tone down her enthusiasm for his sake.

  “I was going to go back to Sydney today, but if you need me to help…”

  “No, no.” She waved the offer away. “I’ll be fine. I’ve arranged a removalist. You need to get back to doing your job.”

  “Sounds like you’re ready to get rid of me.”

  Cupping his face in her hands, she pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “I never want to get rid of you, but you need to live your life, not your father’s.”

  Clenching his jaw, he nodded. The feeling that he was letting his father down was still simmering in his heart.

  “And,” his mother continued, “you need to fix things with Ava.”

  “There’s nothing to fix. She made her choice,” he said, calm and quiet, surprising himself with his restraint. Inside he wanted to punch a hole in the wall.

  “The two of yo
u are as stubborn as each other. You kept a secret from her, a huge secret, and it hurt her.”

  “She didn’t listen to my explanation.”

  “The way she sees it, you had plenty of opportunities to explain.”

  He never thought their relationship would get to the point where they shared that kind of stuff. And it was her father’s secret, not his.

  “Life isn’t always easy. What if something else makes her take off? I can’t keep chasing her when she runs.”

  “When have you ever?” his mother gently pointed out, but to Nick it came across as subtle as a brick to the head. “You love her, Nicky. I know you do. Go stop her from running.”

  “She made her choice.” He pecked his mother on the cheek. “I’ll come back as soon as I can to help with the move.” With that, he left the house and the farm he grew up on.

  Chapter 20

  The factory was ready for the grand opening. The buzz of excitement from the showroom downstairs reached Nick as he sat in his office. This should’ve been the most exciting day of his life, but instead, he wanted to be anywhere but here.

  The last couple of weeks he’d overseen all the hard work Brad had put into the factory. Something Nick should’ve done beside him. But now Nick was the one who got to do the opening because Brad’s wife Lexi gave birth to a beautiful girl three days ago.

  Nick had called Brad to keep him up to date on the progress, but the birth of his daughter outshone the birth of the factory, and he only wanted to talk about how great Lily’s burp sounds were. When Nick Facetimed Brad, he couldn’t miss the dark smudges under his brother’s sleep-deprived eyes. He probably hadn’t slept in the three days she’d been born, but the smile on his face and the sparkle in his eyes showed he loved every minute with his new baby girl.

  If things hadn’t gone to shit with Ava, could they have one day shared the same experience? Would he be looking at the little face of a girl who had her mother’s eyes? He shook his head to remove the image. No point thinking about something he’d never have with Ava. She’d made herself perfectly clear—things were over.