The Little Gift Shop on the Loch

by Maggie Conway

  Lily regarded Iris thoughtfully for a moment, her normally placid features etched with strain reminding Lily that no matter how strong and hearty she normally appeared, this morning’s events must have given her a fright. The same thought seemed to run through Jack’s head and he jumped to his feet. ‘Can I get you something, Iris?’

  ‘No thank you dear, not from here. She wrinkled her nose disparagingly in the direction of the vending machine. ‘I’ll wait until we get home. In fact, I’ll take over now, you two can head off.’

  Lily felt relief flood through her but she desperately wanted to see Angus, to see with her own eyes that he was okay. ‘Actually I’d like to stay if that’s all right.’

  ‘Of course it is, sweetheart. Jack, what about you? You’ve done enough already and you must be needed at the centre?’

  Jack checked his watch and then glanced at Lily, appearing almost reluctant to leave. ‘You’ll get back with Iris, then?’

  ‘Sure.’ She nodded. ‘And thanks.’

  They watched him leave, the waiting room suddenly feeling very empty without him.

  ‘I’d say he’s quite taken with you,’ Iris stated.

  Lily wasn’t sure how to respond. It was true his gaze was capable of making her feel as if she was the only person in a hundred miles radius. Whether that meant he was taken with her as Iris so quaintly put, she wasn’t sure.

  She glanced sideways at Iris. ‘He told me about the car crash and Adam’s wife.’

  Iris tutted. ‘Such a terrible business. Sometimes I think that’s why Jack never stops. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, I suppose. He’s a good man, you know.’ She sighed, sounding wistful. ‘And I saw the way he looked at you.’

  Lily made an odd little sound. Perhaps she was feeling a certain chemistry between them but she’d made a massive mistake with James, misread the signals so badly and she wasn’t about to let that happen again. Besides, Jack had made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything. And that suited her because neither was she.

  ‘He was pretty amazing today,’ Lily conceded. But that was as far as she was prepared to go. Any more and she’d be in danger of giving Iris false hope of a burgeoning romance which simply wasn’t going to happen. If she was lucky, one day she might find love. But if she didn’t find it, then that was fine too. Look at Iris, she was happy and as far as she knew, single.

  ‘What about you, Iris – do you miss not being married?’

  ‘Goodness, no,’ she laughed. ‘Three times was enough for me but I’m not a cynic, I’m still a romantic at heart, still believe in love. And I’m on good terms with all my exes. But I have everything I need now. I’m always busy and I have my friends – good friends.’

  Lily distracted herself for a moment watching a young child – totally oblivious to his environment and his mother’s reprimands – race around and interweave his small body between the chairs. To him, it was all an adventure, a new territory to explore. To Lily, it was somewhere she didn’t want to be. She turned to Iris who gave her a knowing look.

  ‘Seems like yesterday, doesn’t it?’

  The days they had taken turns to sit with Patty were so deeply embedded in both their beings, they didn’t need to say anything. Instead, Iris simply laid a hand on Lily’s arm.

  ‘My mum and Angus – did you know?’ Lily asked quietly after a short while.

  ‘I did.’ Iris paused. ‘But they were both very discreet about it. I think Patty quite liked the idea of it being a secret liaison even though there was no reason for it to be.’

  Lily shook her head with a watery smile, it sounded so like Patty. Just then, a nurse came in to let them know Angus was ready to leave. Lily was unbelievably happy to see Angus back on his feet and looking so much better. They made their way slowly to the car park and all three of them bundled into Iris’s small car.

  As they approached the cottages where Iris and Angus both lived, Lily looked out in the direction of the old caravan park where she’d stayed for all those summers. Her mouth fell open in shock – was that actually the same place?

  Iris let out a little laugh, seeing her expression. ‘Oh yes, it’s all changed now. It’s got eco-cabins and chalets as well as five-star caravans. There’s a café and a small grocery shop, and the playpark’s all been fitted out – there’s even crazy golf.’

  Times really had changed in Carroch, Lily thought as Iris pulled up outside her cottage.

  ‘I can go to my own home,’ Angus said as Lily helped him to lever his large frame out of the car.

  ‘You’ll do no such thing,’ Iris admonished, already leading the way up the garden path and through the front door which was framed with roses. Like Patty, she had green fingers. That was how the two women had first met. On their way back to the campsite one day, Lily’s mother had stopped to admire the beautiful flowers in Iris’s front garden. Iris had been happy to stop her pruning and dead-heading to chat and the lifelong friendship had been formed.

  Like Aladdin’s cave, Iris’s cottage was pretty much as Lily remembered, only busier if that was possible. Iris ushered them through to the back room which served as kitchen and living room. A low-ceilinged room, the walls were lined with shelves of cookery and gardening books and every conceivable space was taken up by trinkets, ornaments and photographs. An ancient range took up most of one wall and a large, worn, dark-red rug provided some warmth on the stone floor.

  Although it wasn’t cold, Iris lit the fire and sat Angus down on the armchair, propping cushions behind him and ignoring Angus’s pleas to stop fretting over him.

  ‘I’m going to heat some soup,’ Iris told them, hanging her coat on the back of the door and swapping it for an apron.

  The hospital had sucked any normality out of the day so that Lily wasn’t sure what time of day it was, only that she was suddenly famished. ‘Can I help?’

  Iris waved her offer away. ‘You stay with Angus. I’ll just check on the chickens and then organise some food, so I’ll leave you two for a short while.’

  Iris disappeared and Lily joined Angus by the fire who was shaking his head at Iris’s retreating figure. ‘Feel like an old fool, causing all that fuss,’ he muttered.

  Lily gave him a small smile. ‘Are you feeling all right now?’

  ‘I’m fine now. You mustn’t worry about me.’

  They sat for a few peaceful moments, the fire crackling between them. Outside the sun was losing its battle against the grey clouds which stubbornly dominated the sky. Lily’s thoughts drifted, her body finally beginning to unwind.

  Angus seemed content just to sit. He had such a calmness about him and Lily wondered what might be going through his mind, if he was thinking about today and it occurred to her she didn’t know if he had family he might want to tell.

  ‘Do you have children Angus?’

  ‘A son in Australia.’

  ‘A long way.’

  ‘He’s married with three children and they’ve got a grand life there. Me and my wife, we used to visit them every year or else they’d come here. They manage the trip most years but of course, it’s not always easy.’

  Lily nodded in understanding as he carried on talking for a while about his son and his family, clearly very proud of them. As she listened, she could see why her mother had liked him. A big, handsome man. Solid and dependable. Was that what her mother had wanted?

  ‘Do you mind if I ask you something, Angus?’ she asked tentatively.

  ‘Of course, absolutely.’ If anything, he sounded eager to talk.

  ‘Well, I know this might sound a strange question …’ She paused taking a little breath. ‘But do you think my mother was happy?’

  Angus stayed very still, his grey eyes soft and warm as they regarded her.

  ‘I don’t think it’s a strange question at all. Whenever we lose someone close to us, we always seek reassurance that they were happy.’ He seemed to consider his next words carefully. ‘But I can understand why you might ask that about Patty in parti
cular.’

  ‘You can?’

  He leant forward slightly, his large hands lying on his lap.

  ‘I had never met anyone like Patty before. We grew close but it took me a long time to feel like I really knew her or at least at well as anyone could. She never wanted a traditional relationship. We didn’t go on dates as such, she insisted on that. Just walks, the odd shared meal. But we would talk for hours and hour.’ He stared into the fire, his eyes far away for a moment.

  ‘I used to think of her as a butterfly, flitting from one thing to the next, never settling. If you were lucky you’d capture her attention for a while and then it was like the sun coming out after a long cold winter.’

  Lily sat back with a sharp intake of breath hearing Angus express so succinctly and eloquently what she’d so often felt.

  ‘She was one of those rare true free spirits,’ he said. ‘In one way she was complex but in another way she was wonderfully simple. She had this philosophy – you know, a sort of seize the day thing. She was good for me.’ Unshed tears glistened in his eyes and Lily suspected that for a man like Angus, tears didn’t come often or easily. ‘I’m simply grateful that I knew her.’

  Lily listened, soaking up every word. Since arriving in Carroch, she felt as if she’d been piecing together her mother’s life. Although she’d been reassured she’d been surrounded by friends and had been making plans for the future, Lily still felt there were unanswered questions and something about Angus told Lily he perhaps knew Patty better than most. The last thing she wanted was to sound self-pitying but Angus’s perception gave her the courage to say out loud the thoughts that until now had only ever circled uncomfortably in her own head.

  ‘Sometimes everything feels so horribly unfinished with her. As if we were still to have all these conversations and everything would start to make sense,’ she told him. ‘I did all the things most parents would want. I behaved, I did my homework. I went to university. But there was always this feeling that somehow it wasn’t quite right. Do you know she actually looked horrified the day I told her I was going to university?’ She shook her head, blinking. ‘I’m not sure I’ll ever understand her.’

  ‘Maybe you don’t have to understand her. Your relationship with her might not have been like most peoples but that doesn’t make it bad or wrong.’

  Lily waited a few moments. ‘Did she ever mention my father to you?’

  ‘No.’ Angus shook his head. ‘She talked about you though.’

  ‘She did?’

  ‘Probably more than you would ever think. She told me about your career and how hard you worked.’ Angus paused. ‘She hoped one day you might take over the shop, thought you’d be a natural at it’

  ‘The gift shop?’ Lily was amazed.

  ‘I think she wanted the shop to be something for you both, something for her to build for you in the future. It was her way of showing she cared about and loved you.’ He took a breath. ‘You know, I don’t think Patty would mind me saying that there were certain things in life she regretted or wished she’d done differently.’

  Lily had never associated her mother as someone who had regrets but of course she did. She was human. Her mother hadn’t been perfect and neither was she. Lily understood now that her mother had probably rebelled against her ultra-conventional parents while Lily had gone the other way, seeking stability and security against her relaxed upbringing.

  ‘You know Lily, she might not always have been able to show it, but the love between you was always there and always will be.’

  Lily bit down on her lip, tears welling in her eyes.

  Angus reached over and patted her hand. ‘I want you to know I’ll be here and you can always talk to me, Lily. Sometimes things don’t seem quite so bad when you say them out loud.’

  ‘You’re right,’ Lily sniffed. ‘And thank you.’

  Sitting there, Lily felt as though a warm comforting blanket had been put around her. She might not have not known her own father but she knew now it didn’t matter. Family came in many guises and it was the people around you that mattered. Knowing Angus was there felt like being surrounded by a warming, comforting blanket.

  Lily looked to him now, seeking guidance. ‘Do you think it’s time we scattered Mum’s ashes?’ It was important to her that he thought it was the right time to do it.

  He nodded, a hint of sadness momentarily shading his features. ‘As long as you feel ready, then yes. We can do it with Iris whenever you want, just say the word.’

  Angus sat back, his expression lightening. ‘Do you know I asked her to marry me several times?’ The merriment dancing in his eyes suggested the proposals had been made in the spirit in which he’d known they’d be received. He chuckled, shaking his head. ‘But she was having none of it.’

  ‘Sounds like Mum,’ Lily laughed with a small sob.

  Lily laughed, tears of relief, grief and love merging into one as they trickled down her face. She wiped them away with the back of her hand just as Iris returned, the aroma of homemade vegetable soup wafting in behind her. She took one look at Lily and Angus and tutted. ‘For goodness’ sake, I leave you alone for a few minutes and look at you both!’

  Lily and Angus exchanged glances and burst out laughing.

  Chapter 14

  When Lily told Iris and Angus she intended to open the shop they’d both insisted on being there. ‘In the capacity of lending moral support,’ Iris told her. Lily looked at them fondly now, Iris bustling around Angus and burrowing in her omnipresent yellow bag for goodness what and she felt a swell of gratitude and affection for both of them. Angus rolled his eyes in jest at Lily behind Iris’s back.

  ‘Can I make you tea?’ she asked him, taking the chance to surreptitiously scrutinise his pallor. She’d missed him at the swimming but understood a few days off was probably wise. Apart from looking slightly pale, she was pleased to see him looking fit and well and despite his protestations for her and Iris to stop fussing, she suspected that secretly he didn’t mind a bit.

  ‘No need for tea,’ Iris trilled appearing from the hobby room with three glasses set on a tray. ‘I’ve made this especially for today so we could make a little toast,’ she announced. ‘Homemade ginger beer with a little something special added.’

  It wasn’t a day for celebration; they were all too painfully aware that this was a day Patty should have been there for. But it still felt significant in some way and so silently they brought their glasses together. Lily took a sip and spluttered, suspecting the something extra was highly alcoholic. Once she’d recovered and with a nod of encouragement from Iris, she turned the sign hanging on the door from closed to open.

  Lily’s stomach fluttered with nerves and excitement. ‘Do you think Mum would have liked it?

  ‘She would have loved it. And she’d have been proud of you.’ She squeezed Lily’s shoulder, her voice wavering.

  ‘You know I’d say you’ve got a real eye for this,’ Angus added, swallowing a mouthful of Iris’s concoction, his cheeks taking on a sudden ruddy glow.

  ‘You think?’ Lily smiled.

  ‘Definitely – look at the place,’ Iris exclaimed with an all-encompassing wave of her arms.

  Lily took a moment to survey the results of her work over the last few days and had to admit the shop looked amazing. It was like a treasure trove, your eye unable to settle on one thing because there were so many lovely things to look at.

  Outside the day was drizzly with grey clouds hanging over the loch but inside everything was lit up and looking wonderful. Lily felt a little lit up herself in some way, having made a special effort with her appearance. She’d chosen a cream blouse and black jeans with heeled boots and a pair of silver dangly earrings.

  After years of poring over numbers and being marooned at her desk, Lily had loved getting the shop ready. She’d enjoyed creating the displays, the once empty cabinet and shelves now filled with pottery, scented candles and pewter hip flasks and the selection of silver and enamelled jewellery
was now nestling prettily in the backlit glass shelves. Taking centre stage were Beth’s oils, lotions and handmade soaps, and knowing it was important to let customers touch and smell them, Lily had laid out a few samplers and tester pots.

  All the knowledge she’d absorbed in Bremners had come to the fore so she knew instinctively how she wanted to set out the shop. Immediately inside the front door was a welcoming space to encourage people to come in and let them see everything on offer. Her idea was to create a natural flow, leading customers round the shop and let them move to the things they liked.

  Lily had priced all the stock at a reasonable level. It wasn’t so much about making profit as getting it all sold. But she marked up the range of Highland Aromatics by a higher margin. Not just in recognition of their quality but she really wanted to be able to pay Beth a good price for them and hopefully show her what she could achieve.

  Iris and Angus retreated to the hobby room where it was agreed they would be on standby if Lily needed any help. Angus, she had discovered, was a keen amateur artist and so had brought along his sketchbook and pencils and she watch him settle himself at the table by the window to make use of the natural light. Lily’s imagination very unhelpfully shot into overdrive suddenly envisaging all the other uses for the room – art classes, kid’s parties, ceramic workshops, the possibilities were endless. With a little shake, she stopped herself. She wouldn’t be here so why even think like that.

  All Lily could do now was wait and she paced around nervously. She had absolutely no idea what to expect, how busy it would be or if they’d even have any customers at all. Acutely aware the shop had no name above its door, the words The Shop with No Name kept swimming around her head.

  She knew from Bremners, it was all about getting people through the door and that a window display was one of the most powerful ways of drawing people in. So in a bid to make the shop appear inviting, she’d strung some fairy lights in the windows and bought a couple of hanging flower baskets which Jack – always willing and able with his toolbox – had helped her to put up. Iris had provided some small wicker baskets which she’d filled with soaps and some empty boxes wrapped in sparkling paper had provided makeshift displays for the some of the other items.