by K. S. Thomas
I take a deep breath and get situated again on the bed. Closing my eyes and readying my lips, I’m expecting him to pick up where we left off before I stopped him. Only, this time Cowboy has other plans.
Instead of landing on my mouth, his lips begin to trail their way down the side of my neck to my shoulder and across my collar bone. The soft scruff on his jawline tickles my skin, magnifying the feeling his lips are leaving as they trace their way over my chest.
I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into his mattress. It’s probably all mental, but if it were possible to literally melt, I’d be doing exactly that right now. In fact, I’m such a puddle, my body is nearly limp when I feel both of his hands tug at my arms, bringing me into an upright position while he sits on top of me, straddling me.
I keep my eyes closed as ordered, as he peels my sports bra over my skin and pulls it off over my head before gently letting my body slide back into the pillow behind me.
Holding himself up with the arm he has resting beside my head, he uses his other hand to cup my breast, gently massaging it with his palm while his mouth moves to the other, tantalizing me with each meticulous flick of his tongue across my nipple.
My fists are curled around handfuls of his sheets as the mind-bending pleasure begins to mound, sending my body into new and unwanted uncontrolled spasms, unable to contain all it’s experiencing.
I’m so focused on what his tongue is doing, I barely notice at first when his hand moves down from my chest, softly caressing the skin on my stomach before sliding under the rim of my panties. I’m pretty sure I’m about to completely lose it when his fingers slide down the front of me. His thumb instinctively seeks out the most sensitive part of my entire body, moving in small circles, gradually increasing in pressure and speed and then letting up again.
I’ve almost come like ten times already but somehow, Cowboy has more control over my body than I do. It’s the exact moment I realize this that his finger enters inside me, adding to the already overwhelming friction. I want to scream. I do scream. I’ve been screaming. It’s like a freaking prayer circle up in here the amount of times I’ve shouted the words ‘oh my God’ in the last three minutes.
He moves in a second finger, and I feel myself tighten around him. Because I know him well enough already to know that he will take this pleasure away on a moment’s notice just to prolong this euphoric sort of torture he’s inflicting on me.
Only this time he doesn’t take it away. He just keeps giving me more. More. And More. Until I’m gasping for air and my body shudders and shakes under him from the release.
Chapter Four
Riker
I close my eyes to the sun. I’m not ready for daylight. I’m not ready to go back to my life. For some reason, even the uninterrupted sounds of the isolated early morning beach aren’t enough to quiet my mind right now.
Well, if nothing else, Sid’ll be pleased her condom run didn’t go to waste. I thought she’d been nuts when she showed up here two days ago with an armload of condoms and tooth brushes, making her grand speech about how I was still alive and how it was about damn time I acted like it. I wasn’t really sure how that translated into safe sex and oral hygiene, but she assured me it did. And maybe it does.
Three condoms and five orgasms for her later, and I’m feeling more alive than I have in a long time. I’m sure it would shock her to know I got more out of the two I gave her than the three we shared. It’s been so fucking long since I’ve put anyone else’s needs above my own, doing something that was completely about someone else for a change was almost becoming a foreign concept to me. It gets tiring being a selfish son of a bitch all of the damn time, but what else am I supposed to be when I live in a hole, isolated from the rest of the world with no other living, breathing being around. Except on the rare occasion that Sid still comes by. And it’s my own damn fault she doesn’t show up more often than she does. I wouldn’t want to be around me either.
But Quinn does. And even though she’s gone for now, I have a feeling she’ll be back. Of course, I’m giving Quinn something I’m not about to give Sid. She’s getting something out of being here with me. Sid gets shit. Because I love her. And she loves me. And that’s what you do when you’re a selfish son of a bitch. You give those you love the worst of what you have. And Sid’s the only one left, so she gets the worst of it all.
***
Quinn
Still feeling the waves of embarrassment after having woken up in Cowboy’s bed after specifically making a point of promising a ‘wham bam - thank you ma’am’ kind of experience, I’m doing my best to sneak back into Kirsten’s house as quietly as I can.
The sun’s already coming up and I’m still dressed in my running gear. I can easily make an argument for having just returned from an early morning run if I get caught, but I’ve never been all that good of a liar. I’m pretty sure it would take Kirsten all of three seconds to deduce I was out all night with some scumbag who would only get me into trouble. And then I’d grin like an idiot remembering the night I’ve had and it would be all she’d need to seal the deal on her conclusions.
Thankfully, I make it back into my downstairs living quarters without a hitch and Harley and I climb into my bed to spend what’s left of the night sleeping there. I know the less gross thing would be to shower first. But I’m exhausted. And strangely, not nearly as disgusted with myself as I ought to be right now.
It’s nearly eleven by the time I come crawling out of my cave and greet the rest of the family. It’s Sunday, so Nate is actually home for a change.
“There’s trouble. I heard you tried to steal a horse yesterday.”
I can only see his eyes over the Sunday paper, but I can tell he’s laughing at me.
“Seriously, Kirsten. You’re so freaking dramatic about everything.” I head for the fridge and pour myself the biggest glass of OJ I think I’ve ever had. I’m parched. Three guesses why.
“Oh, I’m the dramatic one now? You’re the one who decided to pout all night because of our little talk in the car. You even missed dinner.” My sister frowns. “I made chicken pot pie. From scratch.”
I’m sure this means something significant to her. I hate chicken pot pie, so it means squat to me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ditch you. I just went for a run...and by the time I got back, I was exhausted and went straight to bed.” It was totally true. Minus one major detail. Cowboy. “Which reminds me, do you know there’s a house like twice the size of this place less than a mile down the beach from you?”
Kirsten’s mouth twists into a grimace that reminds me of the face she used to make when we were kids and dared each other to eat lemons. “It’s not twice the size. It’s just laid out differently so it looks bigger.” She places a bowl of oatmeal in front of Sophie who’s quietly coloring in her coloring book at the breakfast bar.
Nate clears his throat. “Well, the lay out isn’t the only reason. The Shepherdson place has like a thousand square foot on this place.”
I don’t know why I care. I shouldn’t care. “Shepherdson? Is that who owns it?”
Kirsten puts a bowl of oatmeal down in front of me as well and I smile politely. I know she means well. She even musters a smile of her own, in spite of the conversation I’ve started which she’s clearly not enjoying. “The Shepherdson family practically owns this whole town. Apparently, they settled out here a gazillion years ago and claimed every kernel of sand before anyone else got here.”
Nate chuckles. “That’s not entirely accurate, hon. Earl Shepherdson came out with his family back when there was nothing but open country out here. They settled inland. Made their living from raising cattle. Later, his son William took over. He’s the one who took the land they owned and turned it into a fortune. By the time his son and grandson came along, the family business was booming. And yeah, now they own damn near every vacation rental between here and the moon. Including the place you’re talking about.”
I experience o
ne of those light bulb sensations. “Hey, was that Earl Shepherdson’s ranch we were at yesterday for Sophie’s party?” I’d seen the sign. Just hadn’t really registered it. Until now. If it was the Shepherdson ranch, it would make sense
“It was.” Nate puts down his paper, giving up on it for good. “His son Willie lived there his whole life. Right up until he died about four years ago. Supposedly the ranch went to family, his grandson’d be my guess, but as far as I know, no one’s doing much with it these days. Other than just keeping it running.”
I slurp some oatmeal from my spoon. Sophie giggles. Kirsten shoots a dagger from her eyeballs straight for my face. I slurp some more. “So, who’s this stupid grandson of his letting the place go to waste?”
Nate’s trying hard not to smile. Not because he thinks slurping oatmeal is funny, but because his daughter does and her little laugh is nothing if not infectious. But then, so is my sister’s scowl. “James Shepherdson. And I don’t know that I would call him stupid.”
I cock my brow skeptically. “Really? If you ask me, anyone who has access to a place like that and then just sits on it, sounds pretty damn stupid to me.” My whole life I fantasized of owning a ranch like that one someday. I spent hours upon hours just dreaming up all the things I would do with it. Horse related services I would offer. Training facilities I would set up. The list went on and on.
But Nate doesn’t get it. Why would he? He’s a suit and tie guy who probably hasn’t ever stood close enough to a horse to even know what one smells like.
“You know, for someone who has a pretty interesting story of her own, you’re pretty quick to jump to conclusions on someone else’s, Quinn. The Shepherdson family went through hell in the last few years. James Senior and his daughter were killed in a car crash almost five years ago. Old Willie had a stroke the night it happened because he couldn’t cope, and then died less than six months later. The whole family empire landed square in his grandson’s lap, and there’s a whole hell of lot more to it than just enjoying the fortunes it comes with.” Nate lowers his head, shaking it slowly and I wonder how much more he knows that he’s not telling. I get the feeling he knows this James guy personally. Like maybe they were friends in the past. “I’m guessing that’s why his wife took off. Took all three kids with her. After that, James Shepherdson just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. Business is still running though. Ranch is still standing. So, he’s a far cry from stupid if you ask me. Unmotivated maybe. But not stupid.”
“Fair enough.” I suddenly feel like I need to play a one upping game of personal tragedies with this guy. It’s stupid. I don’t even know him. And, in all fairness, he’d probably win. I’m pretty sure I have to disqualify myself anyway, since tragedies likely imply they weren’t self-inflicted. Besides, really I just feel like an ass for being so judgmental and then being called out for it, by Nate of all people.
“Why are you asking about the Shepherdson place anyway?” Kirsten’s otherwise perfect face is still showing a distinct line of disapproval straight across her forehead.
“Wasn’t really asking. Merely pointing out that there’s a castle bigger than your majesty’s sitting smack in the middle of your kingdom.”
This time Nate’s not as successful at hiding his amusement and Kirsten swats him with a dishtowel for it. “God! You two are ridiculous. Why would I care if there’s another house bigger than mine? Ours.” Her little slip is reason enough to drop the topic all together and move onto something else. “Meanwhile, C.J. invited all of us over to their place today. Rick is cooking out on the grill and she’s invited over a few other families as well. The girls can all play in the pool. It’ll be fun.” She’s nodding at me with an extra dose of enthusiasm, probably hoping some of it will spill over and land in my oatmeal or something.
I push away my bowl. Just in case. “Sounds like you guys are going to have a great time.”
“And?” The only thing raised higher than her brows right now are her expectations of me.
“And I’ll be there suffering in silence.” Only even as I say it, I realize, I’m not actually bothered by the prospect of spending the day with Kirsten’s friends. I wait a moment to see if the panic attack is merely delayed today, but nothing happens. I feel...nothing. Not happy. But I’m not visualizing myself crawling up the walls using my teeth and finger nails, so that’s bound to mean something.
Apparently, Kirsten is noticing as well. “What’s going on?”
I do my best to look innocent, but I can feel a smirk spreading on my face, so I reach for my glass of juice to try and hide it. “Whaddayamean?”
“You. There’s something different. You didn’t even try to get out of coming with us. What happened between yesterday evening and this morning to take you from the ‘terrified of happy people recluse’ to this casual, ‘sure why not, parties are no big deal for me’ person sitting in front of me?”
Cowboy and his five orgasms happened. But I can’t tell her that. She’ll freak. Provided she even believes me. Actually, she probably won’t. I set my glass down and look her straight in the eyes. “I got laid.”
Without saying anything to either of us, Nate gets up from his seat and scoops up Sophie in his arms. “Come on, sweetie. We’re going to let the big girls sort this one out without us.”
Kirsten waits for her husband and daughter to turn the corner and disappear down the hall. “You going to tell me what’s really going on now, or what?”
I want to. I really do. I want nothing more in this world than to tell my sister everything. But I’ve tried. So many times. We never agree. Neither of us ever understands the other. In the end, I’m never able to live up to her standards. I understand why she sets them so high. I really do. But I can’t stand letting her down anymore. I don’t want to see her disappointment, or the disapproval she’s bound to express if I tell her what really happened. Who really changed me. So I don’t. I lie.
“Honestly? I went for a run just like I said I was going to. I just went for a longer run than I’ve ever gone before. After our talk in the car...and being out with the horses again...I felt like everything was closing in on me and I just needed to...blow off some steam.” I shrug. “So, I did. And I didn’t come home until all of that pent up anxiety and anger...and fear...mellowed out a bit. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still all broody and cranky just like before.” I grin at her to ease the tension. “But going out last night, it definitely took the edge off.”
Kirsten scans me skeptically with her mommy vision and I’m really hoping it won’t work on me since I’m her sister. “Well, if running is really all it takes, may I suggest you start upping your mileage? Maybe even start going twice a day?” She breaks into a small smile as well. “Because this is nice. Seeing you less tense. It’s almost like some old part of you is clawing it’s way back to the surface.”
I do my best to smile back. “Yeah. Maybe.” I don’t have the heart to tell her that’s not possible.
As per Kirsten’s suggestions, I do start running twice a day. However, it’s not really having the same effect since I’m purposely running my old route. The one that takes me away from Cowboy and not to him.
I mean, I got the feeling I was welcome back when I left, but it wasn’t exactly discussed. Nothing was really discussed. That was a big part of what I liked about our encounter. The absence of talking. The lack of questions. The just being. No past. And sure as hell no future. And with that in mind, I keep running. As far away from his place as possible.
Until now. It’s five a.m. and I’m on the sand. Alone. Running for my life. Running toward his house. I had a dream. The dream. Only this time, I couldn’t wake up in time. When I finally broke free from the iron grip of my own sleep, I was drenched in sweat and screaming. Thank God for the extra sound proofing they did when they turned the downstairs into the gaming slash movie room, or Kirsten would have been standing over me with a kitchen knife in hand and the cops on their way already, ready to fight off whatever was coming
for me. Only it’s too late for that. She can’t stop something that already happened. Neither can I. But with Cowboy’s help, I can forget.
It’s not until I’m standing in front of his door in the dark about to knock that I realize how insane this is. He doesn’t know me. I don’t know him. One random hook up does not give me permission to stand on his doorstep in the early morning hours expecting another one. On the other hand, I’d never met a guy who turned down sex.
I need to have sex. With him. Right now.
I’m still pacing back and forth in front of his door, trying to decide what to do, when it opens and his broad frame fills the entire doorway.
Looking half asleep, he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. “Is it working?”
I stop dead in my tracks and stare back at him. “Is what working?”
He loosely points in my direction. “Whatever that was you were doing out here before I interrupted you.”
I bite my lip. Offering sex to a perfect stranger is only sexy when you don’t look like a jackass while offering. “I didn’t know you were up.”
Much to my frustration, the left corner of his mouth creeps up into the hottest looking half grin I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m having flashes of what it felt like to have his lips pressed to mine and my calves tighten as my body instinctively preps to pounce on him. Then he speaks.
“So, is this like a frequent thing you do now? Pace back and forth outside of my apartment at night while I sleep? Call me crazy, but that seems like a misuse of your time and energy considering what we could be doing with it if you brought it inside. Not to mention, the wrong guy might find it to be a little on the psycho-stalker side.”