by K. S. Thomas
I want to be pissed. Offended. Turn around and stomp off with a haughty huff. But instead, I practically tackle him, flinging my arms over his neck and jumping up to wrap both legs around his waist while he catches me like this is a neatly timed choreography we’ve practiced many times over.
My lips move with an almost frantic need, seeking out his mouth and waiting for his kiss to take me in. Somewhere in the distance, I hear the door slam shut and I know we’re inside. Safe. He’s got me securely in his arms, moving across the small apartment until we’re in the bathroom.
“What are we doing in here?” I ask, catching my own reflection in the mirror as he sets me down. I flinch. This isn’t going to work. I can’t escape myself while I’m watching the whole thing.
“Multi-tasking. I’ve got to be at work in less than an hour.” He reaches past me and into the shower. Half a second later I hear the water come on.
“Oh.” Shower. Steam. The mirror will be fogged up in no time. “Um, thanks for squeezing me in.”
His hand slides down to my ass and pinches it hard. “No problem. Tomorrow don’t waste so much time strolling around on my front porch before you come inside.”
Tomorrow. “I won’t.” I barely get the words out before his lips seal themselves to mine again. God, this man can kiss. And speaking of multi-tasking, my clothes are already lying on the floor somewhere mixed in with the sweats he was wearing when he answered the door.
Using one arm to open the shower curtain, he keeps the other snaked tight around my waist as he backs both of us into the hot stream of water. Giving me the prime spot, he briefly breaks away, taking a step back to watch as the water runs over my naked body. It’s weird because I despise being watched. Maybe because I’ve spent years attempting to be invisible. My survival was kind of dependent on it. But now, with him, it’s different. He’s not studying me in search of flaws. He’s not seeking out my weaknesses. He’s simply enjoying the sight of me. And I’m enjoying being seen.
A mischievous smirk trails his lips as he reaches for a bar of soap and begins to lather it up under the water. Next, he turns me around and begins to move the suds over my shoulders, slowly working his way down. It’s the most sensual thing I’ve ever experienced. Combined with the bubbles and water, his otherwise callous hands are softly moving over my now silky smooth skin.
His hands continue to move around to my front, gently caressing my chest and stomach. One arm wraps over my breasts, holding me to him, while the other reaches down, still moving in soft circles over my skin and washing the side of my hip and top of my thigh. Dropping my head back to his chest, I close my eyes and let myself get swept away in the moment as his hand slides in between my legs.
Behind me, I can feel him. He’s hard and ready, pressing against me and I curl my arm around my back, wrapping my hand around his large shaft.
He moans into the curve of my neck and the sound mixed in with the sensation of his hot breath against my skin, turn me on even more. I tilt my head back to kiss him just as his mouth is coming for mine. I turn around to face him, then, moving together, our hands mimic the rhythm of our bodies. It doesn’t take long before my back is arched against the cold wet tiles of his shower and I’m gasping for his kiss, and air, and a functioning brain cell, because all that’s left of me is turning to putty in his hands as the sensation climbs until it spreads into every last inch of my being.
“Oh my God, Cowboy,” I whisper as he brings me to him, letting the now cold water run over both of us.
“That’s not my name,” he rumbles into my ear as he begins to wash my hair.
“I don’t care.” I move my hands over his chest, rinsing what’s left of the suds from his skin.
He stops what he’s doing and lifts my chin toward him. “You don’t know my name, do you?”
I want to turn my head away from the intensity of his gaze, but his thumb and finger have a firm hold of my jaw and I’d have to force it to move. I’m not doing that. The last thing I want to do is make a big issue out of this. It’s not.
“I don’t need to know your name.”
He lets go of my face and shakes his head. “What? Afraid things will get too serious if you actually know who I am? Trust me. They won’t. They can’t. This. It can’t be more than what it is right now. Ever.”
I laugh. Maybe because this conversation is making me uncomfortable. Maybe because it’s annoying me that he’s trying to turn the tables on me, like I’m the one who’s trying to turn this into something deeper than two strangers fucking for the sheer fun of it. “Oh, believe me. I know that. There’s no way I’m falling for another asshole who doesn’t have his shit together.”
Fully expecting him to have his little male ego bruised by my comments, I spin around and turn the knob, bringing our shower to an instant ending.
This conversation is a total buzz kill and it’s ruining the phenomenal orgasm I had less than five minutes ago, which truth be told is pissing me off, considering it’s what I hauled my ass over here for this morning.
“Quinn.” He says my name. Calmly. I don’t know if he’s making a point about knowing it, or just wants me to stop huffing and puffing around his bathroom like an angry five year old.
Either way, it works and I stop moving long enough to let him wrap a large towel around my soaking wet body. “You know, just because we’re not going to have an emotional relationship, doesn’t mean our physical one wouldn’t benefit from a certain degree of communication,” he says quietly as he rubs the excess moisture from my hair with a smaller towel he pulled from the hook by the sink. I can’t help but notice how good he is at this. This nurturing thing. And how easy it is for me to let him. And then I quickly try to forget.
“I’m not good at that.” Not with people anyway. It’s one of the main reasons I’ve always been drawn to animals. They’re less complicated. And for some reason, they make me less complicated. And then I realize, that’s why I like being around Cowboy. He makes me feel the same way.
He unravels the towel from my body and uses it on himself before he tosses it into the hamper next to the door. “We’ll stick to the basics. For starters, when you talk to me, you call me Riker. Because that’s my name. And I hate Goddamn nicknames.” He leans in and kisses the top of my head. “And when you want to come over, you knock on the door and let yourself in. You don’t pace back and forth outside and make me guess if you’re coming or going.”
I suck in my bottom lip. I’d rather chew it off right now than let him see me smile. I hate how stubborn I am sometimes. “I can probably manage that.”
He gives me a sideways glance.
So I add, “Riker.”
He nods, satisfied.
Releasing my lip from my teeth, I turn around and bend over to retrieve my clothes from the floor.
“Whoa. What do you think you’re doing?” His arm slides under my chest, bringing me back into an upright position.
“Getting my clothes so I can get out of here.”
He turns me toward him, a telltale smirk on his face. “What makes you think it’s time to go already?”
Confused, I search the bathroom for anything that functions as a clock. “I thought you said you had to get ready to go to work, so I figured I better get out of here and let you do what you’ve gotta do.”
Riker grins like I said something funny and I recognize the look in his eyes. It’s the one he gets right before he kisses me. “You’re not getting out of here until after I get inside of you.”
Automatically, I suck in a ragged breath in anticipation just as his lips come crashing down on mine again. Next thing I know, his hands are reaching down to the back of my thighs and he’s lifting me up and setting me down on his bathroom counter. He can’t possibly be ready again. Although, truth be told. I am. Holy shit, I’m not just ready, I’m already desperate.
The intensity of his embrace ebbs off until he pulls back all the way and through half closed lids I watch him watch me still linger in the a
ftermath of his kiss. His thumb gently brushes over my lips and I flick my tongue out to catch it. He slides it into my mouth and I softly suck the tip of it, imagining what it would be like to give him a blowjob and wondering why in the hell I haven’t done it yet.
He clears his throat like he’s trying to gain control of himself and I open my eyes again. He cups my face in both of his hands, resting his forehead to mine. “Jesus Christ, Quinn,” he groans. Then, after a moment, he stands up tall again and flips the door to the medicine cabinet open. He wasn’t kidding the other day. It really is overflowing with condoms and tooth brushes. Not that I’m surprised. A guy doesn’t get this good at what he’s doing without practice.
He grabs a condom from the only open box, slides it between his teeth and flips the door shut again. Then, he grips my ass in both his hands and carries me out into the bedroom where he drops me, rather unceremoniously, onto his mattress.
“Hey!” I try to sound indignant, but I’m giggling so it’s not coming across that way.
“What? I figured a hardass like you could handle it.” He’s doing the annoyingly sexy half grin thing that makes me want to launch myself across the room and attach myself to his mouth. But I don’t.
I just watch as he pulls up his jeans, covering up the nicest ass I’ve ever seen on a man. Rummaging through the pile of clothes on his recliner he finally finds what he’s looking for and throws it over in my direction.
I catch it. It’s a t-shirt. “What’s this for?”
“Easy access.” He wiggles his eye brows, dropping his gaze below my belly button.
“Pervert,” I mumble, but I’m putting the shirt on, so I clearly don’t have a problem with it.
Meanwhile, he’s still shirtless as he makes his way into the small kitchen. I follow him and find him bent over with his head inside his nearly empty fridge.
“Water?” He offers me a bottle and I take it. It’s ice cold and delicious.
“So, what’s for breakfast?” Judging by the take out boxes in front of him it’s a choice between cold pizza and cold egg rolls.
But he closes the fridge without taking out either one. “You are.”
“Excuse me?”
He just nods, slowly backing me into his kitchen table where he lays me out flat before he spreads my legs and does that thing he does where he just takes in the view. Like I’m some sort of a natural phenomenon he can’t quite believe he’s witnessing with his own eyes.
Riker takes the water bottle I now have in an iron grip from the anticipation of what’s about to happen, and moves my hands to the top of my head at the edge of the table.
“Don’t move those,” he warns softly. Then he takes a long sip of the ice cold water before he lowers himself down between my thighs.
The second his tongue touches me I want to jump out of my own body from the sensation. The chill of the water and the heat of his breath are coming together on the most sensitive part of me and I can’t help but writhe under his touch. Then the palm of his hand comes to rest heavily on my stomach, holding me in place while he continues to inflict the most euphoric torture on me I’ve ever endured.
“Riker. Oh, God. Riker!” I say his name. I want to say it over and over again, because I want him to keep doing what he’s doing, over and over again. But his idea of pleasuring me is a lot like watching the waves on the sand. They come closer and closer and then, just as you think you’re about to get soaking wet, they retract and return to the sea. And I love it. But I hate it, too. Because I want to feel it all. And I want to feel it now. And mostly, I’m terrified of how much control he has over me in these moments. How he can manipulate my body into doing and feeling exactly what he wants. But I let him because it feels too damn good not to.
I’m clawing the edge of the table and I swear I’m on the brink of coming when I feel him moving away and force myself to open my eyes again just in time to see him slide the condom over his perfectly erect penis.
Grabbing my hips, he tugs me to him and I sit up to watch him move inside me. It fascinates me. And it turns me on beyond reason.
Riker moves his palm up under my shirt and gently presses down on my chest, making me lie back down. “I thought I told you not to move,” his deep voice growls quietly.
As soon as I’m spread out on his table again, he begins to thrust inside me, pulling nearly all the way out before sliding back in until he fills me up completely. He does this several times before gripping me harder with both hands and building the intensity of his motions until I’m screaming his name from the waves of pleasure washing over me, this time taking me from head to toe and pulling me under to the place I’ve been yearning to go ever since I ran out of my sister’s house this morning.
Chapter Five
Riker
“Is it me or are you in an unusually good mood this morning?” Sid’s leaning over the side of the round pen watching me work Nox.
“I’m here at the crack of dawn taking care of this damn horse like I am every morning. I don’t really see what part of that is supposed to put me in a good mood.” Nox snorts. I swear that son of bitch understands every word I say. Especially the insulting ones.
“Don’t give me that shit. I know you don’t hate him nearly as much as you’d like him to believe you do.” She swings her leg over the top board and jumps inside. Waiting until he passes her, she continues on toward the center where I’m standing, listlessly swaying an old lead rope back and forth to keep him moving. It’s habit really. Nox is trained on voice commands, so I’m really just holding the rope for my own sake, not his.
“What? You don’t have enough shit to do this morning, you gotta come here and give me a hard time, too?”
She laughs. “Oh, I’ve got plenty to do. You know that. Running this place keeps me busy every second of every day. But that doesn’t mean I won’t squeeze in a little time here and there to check in with you. Especially since I know how much you hate it.” She nudges me in the side with her elbow. “Now spill it. You’ve been acting weird since last Sunday. And this morning when you pulled up, I heard you singing along with the radio. So think twice before you try to feed me some line we both know is total bullshit.”
Sometimes I forget how well she knows me. “Let’s just say your little drugstore run actually went to good use.”
Her eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her head and her jaw is dangling somewhere near her belly button. “Are you shittin’ me? You got laid?”
“Damn, Sid. You could at least act like you thought it was a possibility.” I drop the rope. Nox notices instantly, slows down and walks toward me. “What the hell did you buy me all those condoms for if you didn’t really think I’d ever get around to using them?”
She shrugs and brings her jaw back up to where it belongs. “I figured if it at least got you to re-enter society with some miniscule hope of maybe meeting someone again, it was worth the investment.”
I pat the black stallion on his neck, running my hand under his long thick mane. If he didn’t drive me absolutely insane, I’d have to admit that I understand exactly what my grandfather saw in him. He’s smart. And kind. And probably the most beautiful horse I’ve ever stood shoulder to shoulder with.
“Well, jokes on you, because I didn’t go anywhere near society. She just showed up at my house. And as far as the second part –“
“The wanting to meet someone again?” she finishes, a small hopeful smile on her face. It’s small because she knows. I’m not someone anyone ought to be wasting a lot of hope on.
“Yeah. That. Let it go, Sid.” Nox’s halter in hand, I start for the gate. “I have.”
“But what about this mysterious woman who just showed up on your doorstep? I mean, that sounds like it has fate written all over it!” Sid isn’t ever going to accept it. I get that. She needs me to find happiness again. Because somehow that will give her reason to believe that she’ll find it as well someday. But I can’t be the one who keeps us both from disappearing in thi
s purgatory we’ve both been stuck in for the last few years.
“It’s not fate, Sid. It’s just sex. It’s amazing sex. But it means nothing. Not to me. Not to her.” I close the gate behind us. “So it definitely shouldn’t mean anything to you.”
***
Quinn
“Where are we going?” I watch the trees get denser outside of my window. The last time we were this far inland we were headed to the Shepherdson Ranch for Sophie’s birthday party. And I don’t really remember seeing much else that would interest Kirsten out this way. But then, I’m still new here, so there are plenty of places I haven’t seen and am completely unfamiliar with.
“Sophie has her first riding lesson today.” Kirsten winks at her daughter in the rear view mirror and she giggles in return.
“Riding lessons? I didn’t know you signed her up for those.” I shift in my seat, suddenly fighting the urge to vomit all over her pretty BMW. I really hadn’t considered running into Riker anywhere other than his apartment. And even though we established that we wouldn’t be pursuing a relationship, I didn’t get around to mentioning the importance of keeping our little arrangement from my sister.
“Well, if you hadn’t been so busy flirting with the scuzzy barn hand, you would have been around to hear me talking to Miss Sidney about getting Sophie into lessons with her.” Her perfect little nose is scrunched up and I know she’s totally disgusted with me right now. And she doesn’t even know about the stuff I did with the scuzzy barn hand after we left. Although, honestly, he’s so the opposite of scuzzy. I don’t know why she’s being such a bitch about it.
“Kirsten, I wasn’t flirting with him. And even if I was, so what? I’m twenty-two. I may not be a ten like you, but I can still walk out in public without wearing a paper bag over my head to cover the ugliness, so, you know, on occasion, men may find me attractive.”
The car stops and I realize we’re here. “First of all, you are gorgeous. Second, I’m not a ten. A nine, maybe, but that’s not important right now. And third, I want men to find you attractive. In fact, I would love nothing more than for you to meet a wonderful guy and fall in love and have the kind of life I have with Nate. What I don’t want, is to have to worry about you. And when I see you falling right back into your old life, that’s all I can do.”