Tin

by K. S. Thomas

  “Yeah. I’m done.” I nod. “We’re done.” I start to walk away when his hand comes out and touches mine, his fingers lacing into mine until our palms are connecting.

  “She’s my sister in law,” he says sadly. “Or, she would have been if Hannah hadn’t died before they were able to get married.”

  I turn around, speechless.

  He shrugs, the agony casting a shadow over his face. “They were engaged for seven years. They built a life together. Were planning on children. And grandchildren. Now I’m all she has left. Me and that damn horse.”

  “Oh.” That, I did not see coming.

  His hand still twined with mine, he brings me to him until he’s completely invading me, eyes tied to mine, so close we’re breathing the same breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And I’m even more sorry if I made you feel like I was hiding you from her. I was actually trying to keep her from you. She’s protective of me. And overbearing now that she doesn’t have anyone else to worry about. She means well, but sometimes she’s harsher than she intends to be. It changed her, you know? Losing the love of her life. It took something from her. Something more than just my sister. It took a piece of Sid. The piece that belonged to Hannah, I guess.”

  I rest my forehead to his stubbled jaw. “Please,” I whisper. “Stop. You don’t owe me any more explanations or apologies. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.”

  Riker’s free hand tilts my head back to look up at him and the pain in his eyes tears through me like a knife. His lids close, saving me from the hell he can’t escape and his lips come crashing down on mine, ravishing my mouth with a desperate urgency. He’s almost frantic as he rips the shirt from my body and carries me to his bed and I’m prepared to give him whatever he needs to ease the ache within him.

  He’s on top of me in no time. Then inside of me. Thrusting hard and fast, as if he’s racing the demons, and I want him to win, so I match him move for move, never once letting up until I know he’s beat them.

  He’s still breathing heavy when he rolls over onto his side, gripping me tightly to his chest. We’re both so wrapped up in the emotional and physical aftermath of what just transpired between us, neither of us hears the knock at the door until it’s too late and the door opens.

  “I fucking knew it!” Sidney.

  “What the hell?” Riker bolts into an upright position. “You can’t just come bursting in here like you own the goddamn place, Sid.” In an instant he’s on his feet, and while he was courteous enough to cover me up before he jumped out of bed, he’s not hurrying as he moves to the recliner in search of a pair of pants.

  “I knocked!” Sid throws back at him indignantly. “You know I was halfway home before I registered the fucking BMW in your driveway? That’s how out of it I was when I showed up here. Took me the whole drive back to figure out whose it was. Kirsten Bernheimer.” She laughs, but she’s not hiding her insults in humor this time. “Well, wasn’t hard to narrow it down from there.” She stares at me, blasting daggers straight at my heart, but the jokes on her. Nothing left there to hit.

  “This is none of your business, Sid.” Riker steps in front of me to shield me from her murderous glare. “I don’t need your approval. Not for this. Not for anything.”

  Sidney doesn’t seem all that interested in hearing his arguments. She flies at him again. “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m just going to sit back and watch you fuck up your life a second time. God! You really only know how to attract one type of woman, don’t you!?” She pauses briefly to deliver the most depreciating sneer I’ve ever witnessed, and I’ve been on the receiving end of those plenty in my life. “You know how this is going to end, don’t you? I mean, you’ve met her sister.”

  “Whoa!” Now it’s my turn to leap to my feet. Although not from the bed. I’m liking the higher ground. Besides, at five foot three I’m the shortest person in the room. I need the extra edge. “What the hell does my sister have to do with any of this?”

  Riker spins around to address me, but Sidney beats him to it. “Nothing much. Except she’s a money hungry gold digger and considering I already heard all about how she’s been fixing you up with the likes of Carson Winn, I’m guessing you’re no different.”

  Riker’s attention is back on Sidney one hundred percent. “Shut up, Sid,” he snarls. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  “No fucking kidding.” Standing on the bed doesn’t feel right anymore. I march straight off the edge for Sidney still wrapped in a sheet, but Riker catches me halfway. “You don’t know the first thing about my sister.”

  “Oh, please. There isn’t a person in town who doesn’t know about your sister. Or the misery she put every real estate agent in the state through trying to make sure she had the fanciest, priciest house in the land.” Her mocking tone makes me want to rip out her tongue. My sister’s a handful and half on a good day. And yeah, I talk my share of shit about her, but I won’t stand for it from anyone else. Not even a grieving woman who’s too broken to see that she’s pushing away the only person she has left in her life.

  “So what? So what if she wanted to buy the most expensive house she could find? Who gives a shit?”

  Sidney throws her arms up at me like it’s obvious. “Um, I don’t know. Nate might.”

  Gotcha, bitch. “Guess again. It’s not his fucking money she’s spending. It’s hers.” Both Riker and Sidney are so caught off guard by this news, I have free reign to just keep going. “Kirsten has more money than Nate’s entire family. When they got married, he’s the one my parents wanted to sign the pre-nup, but Kirsten refused. So, you tell me again what a fucking gold digger she is. Because you don’t know shit about it.”

  Sidney’s slowly processing this new information, but she clearly isn’t prepared to admit she was wrong just yet. “If your family’s so loaded, what’s your fucking deal? Why don’t you have your own beachside mansion instead of moving your way through this town like a fucking leach?”

  “Because my family isn’t loaded. Kirsten is.” I’m about to reveal her most personal private history and I shouldn’t. But I’m so tired of keeping secrets. And I can’t stand any more rumors about our family and who we are. Especially when they’re always so fucking hideous. “Kirsten was married once before, right out of high school. She and Levi grew up together. Knew each other since kindergarten. Shared their first kiss in middle school. Fell in love in high school. By the time they were sixteen, everyone knew they’d be together forever. Only forever wasn’t quite as long as they planned.” I stop. Last chance to back out. I don’t take it. “Then Levi got sick. Wasn’t the first time. He’d battled childhood leukemia once before and won, so they were confident he would do it again. Then, senior year, three months before graduation, doctors told him they were out of options. Nothing was working. The cancer was spreading.” I clear my throat. In the sudden silence of this room, it sounds like a lion’s roar and I almost startle myself. Probably because I know Kirsten would kill me if she knew I was talking about this. “Everyone was devastated. His family. Our family. It was the last thing anyone ever expected. But, in spite of everything, Levi was determined to marry my sister. And so he did. Two weeks after they graduated they had a little ceremony at his parent’s house. It was beautiful. I’ve never seen two people so truly in love with one another.” I sigh painfully. “Levi died three days later.”

  “Shit.” Tears are pooling under Sidney’s eyes now and I know she’s connecting with my sister in a way she didn’t even know was possible.

  “Levi was a trust fund baby. He left it all to Kirsten. She didn’t even want it, but his parents insisted she keep it. He was their only son and she was the only woman he ever loved. That meant something to them. So much so, that someday when they pass, Kirsten will inherit all over again. And she’s terrified of the day it happens. Kirsten hates money. That’s the reason she spends it all the damn time. Because she’s trying to get rid of it.
If it wasn’t for me and the fact that I’m an ongoing charity case, she would have just chosen a random cause and donated the bulk of it, keeping only a sliver of it to secure Sophie’s future. But she can’t. Because of me. Because she refuses to let me fall on my ass, even if I deserve to.” I’m feeling oddly deflated after all of that. Maybe pain and anger really are my life source and releasing some of it wasn’t such a bright idea after all.

  “I’m really sorry, Quinn.” Sidney is shifting a desperate glance back and forth between me and Riker, waiting for one of us to tell her it’s alright. I can tell he’s not ready. So I do it for him.

  “Forget it. Seriously. Kirsten would prefer if you did.” I force the corner of my mouth upward. “Honestly, she’d probably rather you just went on thinking she was a money hungry gold digger.”

  She nods. “Don’t worry. I get it. No one likes to walk around with the dreaded ‘W’ word following them around.” She turns toward Riker one more time. “I owe you an apology as well.”

  “Sid.” It’s all he says as he shakes his head at her. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s cold, like he’s standing behind an ice wall that can’t be penetrated by her pain or anyone else’s. “You should go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Sidney gasps loudly, then bites down on her lip, probably trying to force back the tears I imagine are making their way up to the surface again. Then she just turns and walks out, closing the door behind her.

  “That was a bit harsh, don’t you think?” I don’t know why I expect to be on the right side of his stupid ice wall, but I do. And surprisingly, I am, because his expression is filled with concern and care when he turns to face me.

  “She crossed a line. Besides, she knows I love her. My being pissed at her changes nothing.” His hands reach up to rub my shoulders and arms. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I shrug. “I don’t think any of this was really about me.”

  He smirks. “Just your money grubbing sister.”

  “That gold digging whore.” I laugh. “Incidentally, I couldn’t quite follow why searching for a sugar daddy would have led me straight to this shithole. Unless of course I was just slumming it here with you until I locked in a better prospect.” Then it hits me. “Wait. Is that what happened to you before? You were with someone and she left you for a guy with more money?”

  “That’s not exactly what went down, although he’s a pilot, so I’m sure he’s doing pretty well for himself.” His hand glides down my arm to land in my palm. “Come sit with me.”

  In an instant, mini explosions blast off in in the pit of my stomach warning me not to go any further. “Why?”

  He smiles, but his eyes don’t. “Because. It’s time I tell you some things.”

  I shake my head. “No. Please. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  His hand gently tugs mine to follow him to the bed. “I know that. I want to tell you.” He glances back at me over his shoulder. “It’s nothing scary, Quinn. I promise.”

  Only his scary and my scary probably aren’t the same thing. But that’s not even why I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear his story because then I’ll have to tell him mine. And I’m nowhere near ready to.

  “No. I’m serious, Riker. Whatever shit you have buried in your past. Leave it there. Because that’s where I’m keeping all of mine. I don’t want to dig it up. Not even for you.”

  Riker watches me like he’s contemplating his next move. I can see his jaw grinding back and forth, not because he’s mad but because this is serious and I know he’s choosing his response to my request carefully. At last he nods. “Alright. No digging tonight. But I am going to get back in that bed with you and make up for the speed sex we had earlier. I know I can find more satisfying things to do to you before the night is over.”

  “Now this is a conversation I could get into.” Except we both know there won’t be any talking once we hit that mattress, which is fine by me. Actually, after all the talking I did tonight, it’s probably a good thing if I limit my mouth to other activities for a while.

  Chapter Twelve

  Riker

  “Are you still mad at me?” Sid’s standing next to Nox’s stall door. I’ve barely been here three minutes. I actually expected her to show up sooner.

  “No.” I scoop the soggy strands of hay out of his waterer and snort at him in disgust. He’s sloppy as all get out.

  “Are you sure? You kinda look like you might still be mad.” She’s rubbing the crease between her brows with her fingers. I hate when she stresses over stuff she doesn’t need to.

  “I’m pissed because it’s seven a.m. and I’m in here cleaning slimy crud out of a water bowl and picking up his nighttime shit like I’m his little bitch. Because I am. Every day. For the rest of my life. Or, at least his.” And because Nox is smarter than most humans, he whips his tail just right to catch me straight across my face.

  “You know, you really shouldn’t insult him when he can hear you,” Sid points out the obvious.

  “And you should keep some of your dialogue internal,” I shoot back.

  “I’m guessing you’re referring more to last night and less to just now?” She’s still holding onto the stall door, but her arms are stretched out as if she’s attempting to achieve a safer distance between us.

  “You had no business saying half the shit you said.” I finish up with Nox and walk past Sid into the aisle.

  “I know that. And I said I’m sorry like a hundred times.” She has a flare for exaggerating. And she knows it. “Okay, maybe like five. Whatever. I’ve said I was sorry. What else do you want?”

  I turn to face her full on. “I want you to be okay with this. I want you to stop worrying. And, I want you to be nice to her. She’s not who you think she is.”

  She bites her lip, presumably fighting the urge to argue. “Fine. I’ll do all of those. Just tell me one thing.”

  “What?”

  “Are you sure she’s who you think she is?”

  I can’t answer that. Sid knows I can’t. It’s why she asked it.

  “She makes me happy, Sid. Whoever else she is, she’s someone who makes me happy. And that’s all I need to know right now.”

  ***

  Quinn

  “You look guilty. What did you do?” Kirsten hands me a cup of hot tea along with her morning accusations.

  “Nothing you want me to tell you about with your five year old sitting three feet away.” It’s an open ended question and I’m well within my rights to give an equally unresolved answer. Even if I am misleading her slightly by sort of insinuating I feel somehow guilty for my various sexual escapades which is clearly not the case. Never the less, she wouldn’t want me talking about Levi in front of Sophie either, so I’m not exactly being dishonest. Merely crafty in the interest of self-preservation.

  Regardless, she’s right. I do feel guilty. And not just because of all the personal stuff I shared on her behalf last night. It’s also on behalf of all the personal stuff I chose to omit when the time came for one on one sharing with Riker.

  Meanwhile, Kirsten’s still giving me a dirty look and I’m pretty sure she’s racking her brain of every heinous sexual act she’s ever seen or heard about and wondering if I enacted it. I’m quite sure I haven’t. I’m horny. And I have a lot of sex these days, but it’s pretty basic stuff. Fun stuff. But nothing that would get me invited to a BDSM party anytime soon.

  “Would you stop staring at me? Sophie’s going to start thinking there’s something wrong with me the way you keep glaring at me like I have a rainbow bursting out of my forehead.”

  She brings her own tea mug to her lips and pauses. “There is something wrong with you.” Then she takes her drink and I know damn well she timed it that way so I wouldn’t see her smile.

  “Ha ha.” I decide to pass on returning the insult and instead count the previous secret spilling as my silent move of retaliation. “Anyway, what do you two lovelies have planned for today?”


  Kirsten tilts her head at me like I should already know the answer. And she’s probably right, but I don’t even know what day it is, so I can hardly keep track of what she’s doing with it. “Well, it’s Tuesday.” Tuesday. That sounds right. “So, Sophie has school today.”

  I nod, putting it all together again. “That’s a Tuesday and Thursday thing, right?”

  “Yes. It’s been a Tuesday and Thursday thing since you got here. Almost four months ago.” She walks around the counter to go and clear Sophie’s dishes. She’s been watching us over her empty cereal bowl for the last few minutes. Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside her head. She’s super quiet. A lot like me. And that makes me both sad and worried for her. It shouldn’t. She’s not me. But it does. Because she has all kinds of potential to turn out like me. And none of us want that.

  “Hey, Soph. What sort of stuff are the kids doing in school these days?” I prop myself onto my elbows right beside her at the breakfast bar.

  “I learned to say the whole alphabet. And I know a song about all the colors of the rainbow. Want to hear it?” Her big blue eyes are gleaming with excitement and it sends a sharp pain straight through my heart. I’m the shittiest aunt ever. I can’t even recall the last time I had a real conversation with her.

  “I would love to hear it.”

  Kirsten cuts in between us to usher her out of her seat. “It will have to wait until this afternoon. Come on, kiddo. Time to get your shoes on.”

  “Yes, Mama.” Disappointed, Sophie walks off with a noticeable slump to her shoulders.

  “I’m a crapshoot for an aunt. You should trade me in and get your kid a better one.” I plop into her now vacant seat at the counter, the same bummer slump in my posture.

  “I would. But the market’s bad right now. No way I can get out of keeping you without taking a major hit.” Kirsten smirks. “Besides. Even if I got her another aunt, you’d still be her Godmother. And there’s no trading out on that gig.”